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self esteem

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Thread replies: 15
Thread images: 4

Why is it hard to have high self esteem? My friends, my girlfriend, and even my kid brother are better than me in things, and apparently I'm not supposed to feel sad about it. I mean I'm kinda proud for their achievements, nut I feel beneath them. I don't even have a proper identity for myself and I'm 18, that means I'm fucked
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>>18026887
just keep identifying with your level of functioning/achievement, and comparing yourself to others
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>>18026887
Don't judge yourself by your achievements, but by the substance of your character, and the way it affects others.
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>>18026887

>that means im fucked

no you're not fucker
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>>18026900
>>18026889
How do I appreciate my "achievements"? I'm a failure
>>
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself how about you strive to improve?
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>>18027528
I Tried Everything but I can only be mediocre in things. I don't have the confidence to have the drive to push myself further and harder. I might as well suicide, nature doesn't like defective human beings. Natural selection is real
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>>18026887
Pretty much any insecurities or issues like this stem from something in peoples' childhoods. Dig deep anon, I think you're find something.

Try not to feel too down about it too. I remember feeling exactly like you did at that age and for so many years before it. I'm 21 now and things are finally starting to turn around for me, so there's still hope for you.
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>>18027680
that was sarcasm

don't identify with your achievements/level of functioning
stop comparing yourself to other people
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>>18027715
>stop comparing yourself to other people
I think you're genuinely trying to help, but this is up there with "just be yourself"
anyway OP I'm in roughly the same position, only I'm 26, and things still don't look likely to turn around, and I really am fucked.
you're not, so grab life with both hands NOW. pick something you're mediocre at but really enjoy, get better at it, like >>18027528 says. you don't have time to waffle, just dive in.
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>>18027680
>tried everything
Well no surprise you'll be mediocre, trying a bot of everything gives you no chance to learn.
What you do instead is pick something that you liked or had some sort of natural talent for, and you practice like a mother fucker until you are good. Then you'll have an achievement to be proud of
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>>18027715
This, anon. Personally I'm used to both people hating, ostracizing, not taking me seriously at all, and people on my dick constantly, complimenting me a lot. Remember that most of the appraisal people give of other people is just a regurgitation of a culturally engendered norm/value judgment, not something they actually put their own thought/philosophy/rumination into.

I have academic achievements that I used to have egotism for but I've since done my best to prevent them from defining me. You are unaccustomed to being held up by your egotism about value judgments that other give you, and that can be either a strength or a weakness. It'll be a weakness if you look for validation and escape from your feelings of insecurity through the praise of others, and it'll be a strength if you just do things and learn to do things for yourself and your own aims and philosophy.
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>>18027761
>>18027795
>>18027754
That's my problem, I don't truly love anything. And I Haye that about myself. I only have passing fancies. And even then the thing I spend the most time trying to progress in skill I'm is video games, plus even then I'm too afraid to sometimes try new things in these games.
I try all these random things so that I can find some talent to identify myself with fast. It bugs me that people like my kid brother or girlfriend can do certain things like sing because they had the love and drive to do it all the time. As a kid, I wanted a sinple, very easy life, but when achievement tgrough hardship started being emphasized, that's when I tried looking for these things to be good in. I only progressed in many things like judo, football, and flute playing to a point. Deep down I only did these things because I had to, I didn't enjoy the hardship. What's the point of living if you can't love anything to do?
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>>18027879

This >>18027795 is me.

On the deepest level I've perceived, I want more than anything else to exert myself, to do something and dedicate myself to something that is Truly Hard. That implies casting off many forms of mental lethargies, cultivating ever-increasing perfection of my physical fitness, and dedicating myself to a healthy spiritual state, anything that makes my mind stronger, more powerful, more resilient, and perceptive.

And honestly, same. I can't call what I feel for anything "truly loving it". What helped me have much greater passion for the things I want now was having an existential crisis and coming to terms, philosophically speaking, with the significance of my actions to the whole of humanity and the whole of humanity to what I believe is the highest and ultimate cause of Sentience--the alleviation of the suffering of all sentient beings. (the health of the human race, to which my actions contribute, which contributes to the ability of all sentient life in the universe to Beat Buddhism)
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>>18027994
What caused this existential crisis, and what do you mean by beat Buddhism?
Thread posts: 15
Thread images: 4


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