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To be honnest, what women value most in men must be social capabillity

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To be honnest, what women value most in men must be social capabillity and standing.

Among my buddies from college, the guys who had it going for them socially, the guys who were like spiders in the web, is also those who have girlfriends. wives or even children today.

Almost all the introverts i know, including myself, who were just followers, are still single today.

Some of them are not even attractive (manlets, fat) etc. but apparently, that doesn't matter as much as social ability or EQ.

Is this correct in your point of view, or is my hypothesis wrong?
>>
Its not so much that women dislike introverted men as much as it is introverted men meet less women and take longer to make connections with them.

Women can also be introverts the same as men and can prefer either introverted or extroverted partners.
>>
Personally as someone who struggles with social anxiety badly, I like being around social outgoing people in general because it helps me come out of my shell a bit. I've had quite a few crushes on shy introverted guys, and sure I would have more in common with them as well. I'd prefer staying in and just hanging out rather than going out but two shy awkward people trying to hit it off rarely ever works. But that's just my opinion!
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>>18024440
I struggle with social anxiety and would love nothing more than a hyper introverted gf.

however I am slapped across the face knowing that it will likely never happen unless I become more extroverted (and the potential gf likewise)

>>18024424
OP I have come to the same conclusion, but also, >>18024440
>introverted men meet less women and take longer to make connections with them
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>>18024424

Correct, but only part of the truth. You need to have the skill to make yourself look important in others' lives, as well as specific sets of mannerisms and speech. This all varies from girl to girl.
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>>18024424
No, they dont value your social standing, but they do value your social capability. However, they only value your social capability with them in particular. Im inroverted too, and for the general consensus of me at my high school was, "weird gay kid", I was alone for the majority of every other year, and only had friends that treated me like dirt. By learning about people, and observing, I used what i learned (and a bit of looks of course) to get laid just as much as someone else who was, "popular"
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>>18024442

That's the curse.
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>>18024457
this.

you have to learn how to socialize with a person at a time. you dont need to become the life of the party, you just need to communicate and interact well, and cohesively. People will love you for it, but it is something that I can say as a introvert myself, you have to learn.
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>>18024463
>>18024442
If you're an anxious mess like me, may I suggest B12 vitamins? Don't know if it's a psychological thing or if it really works but it makes me chill out a good amount during the day.
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>>18024460
And now youre in a happy relationship, or?
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>>18024442
>but two shy awkward people trying to hit it off rarely ever works.

It does work but takes a longer time. In fact I am willing to say that 2 introverts given the proper time and space would form stronger bonds than most extroverts.

My friend and I are both highly introverted and it was extremely awkward at first but after about a week we can talk easily about any subject.

Obviously this does not translate well for meeting a new romantic partner in a situation where you will only ever see that person once or twice.
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>>18024463
And with people that are socially anxious, this is key. When I said I got laid all the time, I got laid by shy people who barely come out of their shells half the time, because I related to them and knew how to talk to them. I know how much it sucks (and honestly its still hard to socialize today) but you have to learn where to find some balls to make the shot first. As soon as you break that first anxiety barrier down, you may feel a little queasy, but like a hero nonetheless.
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>>18024472
I have been, but as of the moment Im really waiting for someone that can really knock me off of my feet. I also know that this is somewhat up to me, to branch out and find this person.
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>>18024457
Guys dont have to do that?
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>>18024424
I like shy and introverted guys the most, but honestly it gets annoying.
While I am extroverted, I'm not confident by any means so I could never ask someone out but those kind of guys usually are the ones who don't ask you out.
>>
>>18024476
I was mainly referring to introductions, the hardest part is walking up to someone to say hello. I usually just added them on Facebook and took it from there. Unfortunately it never took off from Facebook messages every day. I agree that introverts would have a better bond, social people always have a different lifestyle/view on pretty much everything
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I am an introvert with hardly any friends in real life but I haven't had problems getting girlfriends or getting married since leaving HS. No one cares what your social standing is after that unless you hang around the kind of people who still haven't grown out of HS mentality.

I have good social intelligence I think I just don't like being around people platonically.
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>>18024487
Im waitinh for someone who is like
>yeah, lets do this
>lets travel the world
>lets buy a house
>lets get married

But most people are like "nah, i dunno", "I have to think about if i want to", "i have to think about it".

I want it to feel 100% right and i want her to be 100% in, otherwise its just a waste of time. You cant wait for years for people to make up their minds.

I hope I'll eventually find someone like that.
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>>18024499
this is just the difference between alpha and beta. introverts *tend* to be beta as fuck, but, not always. and a large portion of "shy introverted" people are just shy extroverts that were sheltered or dont know how to talk to people for whatever rhyme or reason
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>>18024511
Yeah but you need experience. thats the thing. Itll never feel 100% right unless you know what wrong really is. and this, is way too huge of a commitment for someone with little experience. be patient, sleep around, and really get to know other people first. My first relationship felt 100% right, but, now that I look back on it, it wouldnt work today. It felt right, but that feeling would fade over the years. This is the danger of your kind of balls deep commitment
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>>18024522
But i dont want to waste another 4 years of hoping and waiting that "maybe some day" just to get dissapointed in the end.

It has to have direction and speed ahead at least.
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>>18024545
Yeah, so dont waste those 4 years, and get some experience in the meantime. You dont sound ready for a real commited relationship to me, you just sound desperate for companionship in general, and thats probably how youd come off to a partner. Its not like all relationships that arent lifelong are pointless or unguided, they have purpose and when they end, the harshness of that ending is something you need to experience too.
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>>18024562
I have a friend who met his wife at 16 and they're 30 years old today. Apparently he didn't need experience, so why do i need more experience with heartbreak and bad relationships?

Honnestly, id rather be alone than get left by yet another woman.
Thread posts: 23
Thread images: 1


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