ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

I feel like crap. I got drunk and flirted with a friend who has a gf. Well, not really flirting just being way more friendly and talking to him more than i would if his gf was there(she doesn't like me that much). i know I'm doing this because I'm really lonely and single but how do I stop being a bad person? I'm going to quit drinking for a while but i just feel like i'm in a bad place and don't know how to get out.

>>18017553

It seems you have the problem identified. Solve your issues, or at least get to grips with them.

Guy here. 21, I like a girl who's 23. She's a couple inches taller than me and just a larger person. Kind of a stupid question, but do I have a chance?

Haven't talked much but she's been pretty receptive to me so far. Of course she's probably just being friendly at this point, but I'd like to steer in that direction if I can

>>18017574

You don't pick a person to date first and then make them like you. And if she is gonna reject you because she is taller than you then she is a bitch.

Instead of focusing on a crush, talk to her, flirt, and ask her out if she flirts back.

Girls, why do you throw spells at men and make us crazy for you?

Is there a correct way to break chopsticks? Sometimes they don't break off properly, are they just poor quality?

>>18017582
Needed to hear this, thanks for being real

>>18017595
hold them about halfway up between your index finger and thumb with both hands

pull straight back with equal pressure from both hands

>>18017553
>I feel like crap. I got drunk and flirted with a friend who has a gf.
No use crying over spilled milk. You didn't do something colossally dumb like sleep with him. Write off this instance as you just being stupid and drunk.

If you want to stop being lonely and doing shit like this, focus on improving yourself. As you currently are, even if you meet someone, you're going to run the risk of becoming heavily codependent, and that's never a good thing for your personal mental health and development. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Go work out, go volunteer, go take up a new project, hobby, or passion.

Don't mope over the trivial things in the past, and focus on making the future better for yourself. You're a great person if you let yourself be, you just gotta take steps to polish yourself and let that shine through.


>>18017574
>Guy here. 21, I like a girl who's 23.

I'm 28
My girlfriend is turning 30
i'm 5'7
She is 5'9
I'm very skinily built
She's got a thicker frame

No fucks given. Really, you're thinking too much and too far ahead. Just go ask her out.

How do people meet others after leaving school? Everyone always tells me "work" but most people at my work are assholes who make fun of me because I don't share their hobbies.

I'll be turning 27 later this year and I don't really have any friends and have never been in a serious relationship with anyone.

I have a four-year degree, a stable career, and own a home.

>>18017630
Bars, events around town, live music, adult ed classes on different stuff, book clubs, social groups, activism groups, online dating. The list is endless. But you have to go do something.

>want to have sex with girls
>don't want to socialize with them because i am not a social person and i don't care about them or what they have to say
>don't want to pay money because that's expensive and illegal
What should I do?

>>18017652
craigslist

>>18017585
Because you are weak, easy targets.

>>18017652
Dating apps

girl i've been talking with said something along the lines of "i think you'd make a really good dad"

i say "oh, uh...thanks? i guess"

she gets angry and says "it was supposed to be a compliment" then walks away

then for the rest of the shift (we work together at a restaurant) she was standoffish.

Did I completely ruin any chances? Could I have even had a chance in the first place?

How do you tell if a girl actually likes you or just likes the attention?

Talked to a girl all night on tinder the other day and we really clicked. She seemed really excited when I asked her out. I suggested we go to this concert tonight and she said she'd let me know tomorrow. It's now tomorrow and she hasn't really responded to my last text, just around twelve hours ago.

What's a good, non creepy text to send to check in on her and make sure she's still interested without making it seem like I'm too interested too quick?

>>18017750
>Did I completely ruin any chances? Could I have even had a chance in the first place?

I'm a dude... but... would you REALLY want to be with someone who gets butt hurt over something so trivial? Because having to permanently walk on eggshells like that sounds like a GIGANTIC pain in the ass to me.

>>18017762
>How do you tell if a girl actually likes you or just likes the attention?

You can't atm. That's why you're asking here. Any specific thing anyone will tell you will probably be pretty useless at best, and harmful at worst (because you'll probably end up obsess over looking for something you won't be able to interpret, and it will fuck over your ability to act normal). Being able to read people is something that takes a certain amount of intuition, and A LOT of experience. On top of that it's actually NOT that helpful most of the time because when you're at the point where you can, you don't need to.

So your best strategy is probably to just ask them out. If they say yes, then at least you know they're somewhat interested. If they keep seeing you, then it's *probably* for more than the attention (still no guarantees there though). And if they say no, you have your answer.

>>18017595
>Is there a correct way to break chopsticks?

As someone who is more comfortable with chopsticks than forks, what other anon said is correct, but also they were probably pretty shitty chopsticks

I've noticed most take out places usually have cheap shitty, blocky ones that are connected for most of the chopstick, but actual sit down restaurants tend to spend a little more and get the denser, rounder ones that are pretty much only connected at the ends.

>>18017771
>Talked to a girl all night on tinder the other day and we really clicked.

"Yo, you still interested in that show tonight?"

Not that hard man. You're over thinking this.

>>18017793
>I'm a dude... but... would you REALLY want to be with someone who gets butt hurt over something so trivial? Because having to permanently walk on eggshells like that sounds like a GIGANTIC pain in the ass to me.
She gets like that with a lot of things, and part of me does it on purpose just because her voice cracks, nostrils flare and she gets flustered whenever i respond like that and it's cute/funny

but this time she seemed actually a little angry, so i'm not sure...

>>18017762
How two sided the interaction is. Does she ask you questions? Does she remember stuff you told her and acknowledge it? (Spontaneously bringing it into conversations when relevant, remembering to wish you good luck on something.) Does she initiate conversation, and hit you up also when she's not expressly looking to share a story/have a shoulder to cry on? Can you ask her for a favor?

If mostly no to the above questions, she's trying to feed on your attention.

>>18017816

Eh different strokes and all that I guess.

I can't really read the situation with such little context, but I'm guessing no, your chance isn't ruined, but if you really do think she's cute and all that, just go ask her out.

If she's in to you, I doubt something so petty will make her say no (in fact you asking her out will probably make her forget about that), and it sounds like at this point you've both got enough rapport where she knows whether she'd want to go out with you or not.

>>18017701
Girls, why are you so cruel?

>>18017853
do you think yourself capable of any less?

pointless cruelty is one of the defining traits of humanity

Idk if there really is any help or advice I can get but whatever I'll give it a shot.

I can't orgasm with someone. Idk if its mental, or the fact that I can ONLY orgasm through vibration, or what, but it's kind of awkward with the fwb.
I love spending time with him regardless, and he doesn't seem to hurt or concerned or anything, but fuck I'd really love to have that experience with another human being.
Is it just impossible? Do I just need to relax more? Is there any way I can increase my odds? I feel bad he's going at it for like, hours and it seems and I'm never done while it only takes me like 15-20 mins to finish him off.

>>18017881
>Idk if its mental, or the fact that I can ONLY orgasm through vibration

Mental, can't help you

if its vibration only, bring the toys into your sex with him.

How do I stop feeling shit after breaking up?

I recently broke up with a girl I've been dating for 3 months. It was a short relationship, but a really intense one. She's a great person and I wish her all the best in her life, but I realized that this relationship wouldn't work out. I couldn't love her, wasn't as attracted to her physically as I wanted and I was going through a depressive episode at the time.

Since then, I have had this intense feeling of guilt. I've never been in a relationship and never broken up before and I feel that by rejecting a good person, I have done something cruel and horrible.

It's been 2 weeks since we last talked and I've been thinking about getting back into dating. But I can't shake this feeling that I'm doing something wrong, almost as if I'm cheating on her.

>>18017881
>Do I just need to relax more?

Probably. Stop freaking out about it, just take things as they come.

Honestly, I'm a dude, I started having sex pretty late in life (24) and my first time was particularly terrible. I did it because I was heart broken over my first love, and just decided fuck it, may as well find out what all the hubub is about, and then slept with literally the next girl I went out on a date with... and it was horrible.

Naturally I've always kind of a been tightly wound person and I guess combined with that experience, it created some weird sort of mental block in me or something.

So for the next 3 years no matter if I had sex with my fwb (my best friend in fact), or I had sex with someone I really liked (even the first time actually woke up involuntarily smiling), I
couldn't cum, no matter how long we went.

I remember the first time I had sex with my girlfirend, we literally went DAYS of nonstop sex, like 2-3 sessions a day at 4-5 hours each for about 4 days, and I still didn't cum.

It wasn't until we were about 1 year in to our relationship that I finally got comfortable enough to cum (and it was after like an hour and a half of sex).

We're about two years in and I cum pretty regularly now.

My advice: Don't worry about it, things have habit of working themselves out. Your mental state actually has a bigger impact that you think. As long as you can learn to let go, things get easier in the long run, but the more you freak out, the harder things get.

Just enjoy the moment, and have fun.

>>18017892
No tips at all then on how to reverse the mental block?
I've only hung out with him a couple times, so I'm hoping just maybe as time goes on I'll become more and more relaxed/casual with him. But then I think about how I've never in my life gotten to orgasm on fingers/tongue alone.

>toys
Aren't most dudes offended by that?

The last time I saw him was particularly awkward for a couple small things. When I never came, he said it was cool he wasn't bothered by it so long as I had fun regardless but I dunno, something about his demeanor changed after that though so I suspect it might have bothered him a little bit. He's kind of... cocky I guess in his ability? But that's what made me so damn attracted to him in the first place.

But before that he tried to finger me wayyyy too soon, and I jumped because it hurt like a mother fucker. He told me he was rusty when it came to virgins (we stick to 3rd base only, no actual sex is involved). He apologized for diving in too fast like that, I told him I was completely fine, it just shocked me a bit, and we kept going. But that did kind of set the tone for the rest of the evening unfortunately. Then I think the whole no orgasm thing was the icing on the shit cake for him idk. I would hate to add insult to injury next time by asking to bust out a vibrator.
But as I said, maybe it'll just be as he gets to know my body better things will pan out?

>>18017595
Hold them at the tips and slowly pull them apart. Almost always come apart cleanly. If they don't, it's just the woodgrain was.

>>18017917
Gotcha, that makes a lot of sense. As I went into in my previous post to the other anon, our relationship is still rather new, and I'm still rather inexperienced as a whole to sex in general, and particularly the NSA kind.

It'll probably just happen the more we get to know each other. Though I doubt he'll keep me around for 1-2 years lol.
Idk, what is the shelf life on a fwb with zero prospects of progressing into anything more?
I figured I'd probably be just something to pass the time with for a couple months and then he'll move on. Thats how it normally goes right?

When a girl says

"I don't like it when my partner wants to do everything right for me and is always nice"

what the fuck does she mean and what the fuck does she want me to do?
Shall i slap her in the face randomly so that i am not too nice or what?

I really don't get what a female wants to tell me when she says shit like that.

>>18017925
>No tips at all then on how to reverse the mental block?

I mean, i have a male brain so things that would help me get over mental blocks with girls may not work for you?

>toys

I'd be in to it personally.

and the last line you wrote is very valid.

>>18017932
gotta take control, do something YOU want to do, hopefully she's in to it, then you're home free, if shes not into it, she will at least have been in to you taking charge.

>>18017932
This>>18017940
She wants you to be an individual too. She wants you to be in control, make the plans, be a little selfish from time to time.

I get stuck in these cycles of meeting guys who treat me like I'm made of glass. They're so afraid of offending me, hurting me, whatever that I can just feel in their presence how on edge they are tip toeing around me.
I don't want that. It's not all about me, and I don't want it to be all about me. I want to pamper you sometimes too, I want to do what you want to do sometimes, I want to make /you/ happy, instead of always feeling like you're just making me happy.
I want a partner who sees me as his equal, not putting me on a pedestal.

>>18017932
It means she doesn't want to date a doormat. I'm the same way, dating a yes-man would get old quickly. I want you to have your own wants and opinions, don't just go along with what I say because you think it'll make me happy.

>>18017932

I'm a male anon, but breaking that down for you:

She doesn't want a doormat who bends over backwards to try to coddle her and treat her like a she's a fragile baby princess who will shatter if she interacts with the world.

She wants someone who actually challenges her, pushes her to actually do things, who makes her do things and \gives her direction, who treats her like she actually has some capability to do shit for herself, like she's actually a real person.

Not that hard anon.

>>18017932
Sounds like she wants you to be sincere, not put her on a pedestal and not be afraid to disagree with her, have your own opinion/goals and call her out on her shit. Pretty normal stuff. She just words it a bit awkwardly (is my guess).

>>18017872
I'm cruel only to those who deserve it, then I'm really cruel.

>>18017881
Just a WILD guess: what if your body is "addicted" to vibration? Just like penises can get "addicted" to the death grip and have difficulties with a real vagina.
Try not using toys for a while.

>>18017955
>>18017953
>>18017950
>>18017940

Aha okay, well i guess i should tell her to fuck off then because i find the idea of someone being bored by me for not being selfish disgusting and childish.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I do whatever the fuck a partner wants me to do in a relationship, but i have little aspiration to stand up for meaningless bullshit that i care little about.

Let me give you a stupid example: You want to sit where i usually sit on the couch.
My response is: sure, go ahead.
My response is not: LOL GO FUCK YOU I SIT HERE

Sorry, im a little triggered by the idea, nothing against you guys. I probably dont even understand what exactly you mean correctly.

>>18017969
When i said sorry i meant fuck you because its not like i want to make it right for you

>>18017969
>I probably dont even understand what exactly you mean correctly.
You really don't. That example is WAY off the mark. It's not about selfish and disgusting, it's about being able to stand up or voicing an opinion for yourself when you should.

>>18017969
Dude, you are greatly exaggerating and completely missing the point. What you describe is doing someone a little favor by moving. That's just being attentive. What she means is, for example, pretending to agree with her when you don't. That's not being true to yourself and a wildly different category.

Honestly it baffles me that you reached this conclusion from the quoted answers. No one is talking about not being sweet or affectionate/attentive. Just about not being spineless. Compromising on something you absolutely don't care about is being flexible. Compromising on something you care lots about is being untrue to yourself.

Would YOU want to date a woman who said "yes honey" to everything you said regardless of her own personality and feelings? Probably not.

>>18017925
Im a man, and honestly i like using toys when i have sex. Its something else. If he knows your situation i dont think he woul mind toys, after all, sex should be a pleasure for both partners. Using flavored oils and toys make a relationship interesting. But i think i read something about you being a virgin. My ex was a virgin, and the first few times we had to take it slow. Make sure there enough lubrication.
For my ex it was kinda hard for her to finnosh, whe she was getying there she would move or pull away. Until we talke and she letherself go.
And with time you'll both get to that level of intimacy where he'll know what you like and how you like it. You both will sync with your movement.
Also, some fetish might help with your orgasm. Personally i get super turned on about certain things a girl does and helps me come faster. Try to get to know your fetish, there some things out there that trip you out but then you try it and it feels great

>>18017961
I've thought about that before, but I honestly haven't been using them that long.
I started masturbating at 17. I didn't buy my first vibrator until 21. Until I was 21, I had never orgasmed. I honestly spent the rest of my teen years just assuming it was physically impossible for me. Then when I moved out of my parents house I got a little more daring about my amazon purchases, since I knew my parents couldn't go through my mail anymore. Bought a vibrator for shits and grins and realized "Oh. wow. I actually can orgasm. My pussy isn't broken like I thought."
I've owned a vibrator for only a year.

But now that I'm getting into sex that actually involves other people, I'm kind of going back to that "shit maybe I am broken" kind of feeling since idk what good I am to a partner if he can't make me cum.

I feel like it'd be different if I had ever orgasmed on hands alone in the past, then got a vibrator and lost the ability, but I was NEVER able to do it before. I just stopped caring about that fact when I was just masturbating alone. But I'm starting to care about it again now that I'm getting more into the "adult" world of sex.

>>18017969
Sound like you gotta step up to the plate. First of all there should be no disrespecting like that fuck you. Start there. Let her know you dont like being disrepecte. Thats how it starts. Next thing you know youre married and shes beating you.

>>18017983
Please give me an example of one of your relationships that you remember where you actually experienced this hypertheoretical situation.

How do you then even know that he is just prentending to agree rather than actually agreeing?

I can't even think of a single idea / theory that my partner would talk about that i would feel the need to repute.
Who the fuck cares if i think differently about it, unless the statement is outragous to me or affects me or others that i care about i wouldn't see a reason why i would make a dicussion out of it.

>>18017983
Another point: I am not sure if you actually think about it the same the people do, that i talk to.

I don't think there is a common interpretation of the words that i posted.

If all you mean by the words is that you do not want your patner to be totally spineless then sure, i have absolutely no problem with the idea.

But i don't think that everyone means that when they say these words.

>>18017969
Yeah you really missed the point.
If you take anything out of my post, it's this
>I want a partner who sees me as his equal, not putting me on a pedestal
If you're putting me ABOVE you then it's a problem to me. I want to be on the same level as you.
Your example is so mundane that yeah, anyone is gonna do the same thing. Nobody cares about sitting on a specific place on the couch for it to be an issue.

Lets say this scenario actually. Your favorite band is coming into town. You would love to go see this band. It's not your gf's favorite band though, so you'll never ask her to go with you. You'll just miss the concert you would have liked to see because you didn't think your gf would have thought it was the best date ever.

Nah, in this situation, you'd ask your gf anyway, because in an equal partnership, she'll think "I don't really like this band as much as he does, but I want to go spend time with him and see him so passionate about something. I'll have fun seeing him have so much fun."

Whenever you're thinking "I want to do something special for her because I like her so much" she's thinking the exact same thing. She wants to do something special for you too. Let her.

>>18017987
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kissyaizilo

sometimes only the guy gets off ; )

>>18018000
>I don't think there is a common interpretation of the words that i posted.
Why did you post here asking us to interpret them then? You got four very similar interpretations from four people (getting four responses is pretty rare in these threads), why don't you just accept that that was almost definitely what she meant?


And in the end, if you don't like it, don't date her. Simple as that.

>>18017992
You can tell when someone is approaching you as a female he needs to do everything right with. It's in the little things. Say we're discussing local politics. If someone sincerely agrees with me, he will still ask critical questions like "but if you say x, then how do you feel about y having acted that way in the past", just to make sure that you actually are on the same wavelength. More so, if you are talking for prolonged time about the same topic, discussing a wide range of details, it is extremely unlikely that there's never a difference in even just perception and interpreting the same thing differently even if you would hypothetically agree if you saw it the same way.

It's the difference between that and enthusiastically nodding at/agreeing with everything I say without further questions or comments.

This is a single example but if you spend a lot of time with someone, it is quite apparent if they don't actually speak their mind.

And this is still sticking to the topic of discussions. Fair enough, not everyone cares equally, hell, not everyone gets something out of arguing their personal point of view. But this extends beyond that - like daring to tell her that you want to be treated a certain way (like you don't like nicknames, or you want her to touch you firmer during sex because you're ticklish, or you're impatient so you'd rather have her meet you when she still needs to finish her make up than making you wait), or that you were hurt by something she did or just think something she did was petty or unprofessional or misinformed. It means being able to tell her you don't want to see her on a given day because you need time to yourself, or want to spend quality time with friends without your SO present. It means laughing heartily when you actually find something she says very funny, not guffawing at every joke to be polite and make her feel funny.

>>18017987
Its not just him that has to make you cum. You have to move too.. Look, the best position ive notice to make girls cumm faster is when they're on top. Just ride it. Close your eyes, foeget everything about your pussy being broke, becaise that has a lot to do withyou not cummin. Concentrate on the moment. When your riding try to get a feel for as much as you can. And ride it slowly at first, try to figure out how exactly you clitoris can rub agains him while riding and youll get there. Imagine everything thats happening like if you were seeing it from a third perso pov. And imagine his cock penetrating you. Make it as kinky as possible. And all that will help. Just make sure to keep negative thought from your head.
It happems to me, when im abouth to have sex and im all streessed its kinda hard to concentrate on an erecrion. And while im in the act if i start negative thought, my boner goes to a softie in a jiffy?

>>18017984
He doesn't go down unfortunately, which I'll respect, so the oils wouldn't help much I'd think.

But I get what you're saying. Time will probably just be the cure I need. The examples I've all been getting though have been with serious relationships though. Idk if that level of closeness is possible in a fwb. But I've got nothing to lose in just keeping at it I suppose.
>Fetishes
I've been thinking about that. He's SUPER experienced, banged more girls than I can even comprehend so he's pretty open.
By contrast though, I'm about as inexperienced as it gets. I was late to the game growing up, I didn't even start exploring sexuality until my late teens. I don't really know what I'm into outside a handful of ideas. I'm super fucking shy, so I also have a hard time voicing these things.
We've discussed some things in passing, but a lot of them are kind of hard to pull off in our situation of "no penetrational sex". I'm not even sure if what I like in theory I would like in practice. But I suppose I won't know until I try.
I'm thinking about next time asking him to try some dirty talk, as awkward as it might be lol. As I said, his cockiness in his ability is what really turned me onto him, and I'd love for him to use some of that and turn it into a domination kind of thing.

>>18018000
Of course, what I stated was my interpretation of what she said. I don't know that for sure, no. It is just most likely to me by far, and so far the answers you got all have the same sort of vibe, so that's something at least.

Have you tried specifically asking her what she means, to be more concrete? Then you know for certain what she has in mind when she tells you this, and you can judge whether or not you can live with that.

>>18018019
>"no penetrational sex"

get him to fuck your ass cheeks and cum on your back, he'll love it.

>>18018019
>guys who won't go down on girls
What in the actual fuck is wrong with men

>>18017987
Ever tried textured condoms?

>>18018016
Ah, but were not in that deep. We're hands on only for a couple reasons.
Namely being, I'm not sure if I'm quite ready to go all the way with someone who doesn't have any strong emotional attachment to me, especially for my first, and he's not sure he even wants to take someones virginity. Said he's never been put in that situation. He's probably afraid I'd catch feelings if he did, and well it's a fear I can also share.

The other reason is he's got this fucking huge fat cock that frankly scares the shit out of me lol. The idea of that thing going INSIDE me, when only one of his fingers can hurt me, just terrifies me.

My fantasy "first time" would be with a dude who loves me and has a smaller dick lol. Not that I'll probably get the luxury of cherrypicking this situation. Especially the love part.

But when he's rubbing me, I'm moving my hips too, trying to hit a sweet spot. Just kind of hard to get that sweet spot. My clit likes to hide too, which is unfortunate.

>>18018026
Lol that's for his benefit though, I'm getting him off just fine.
>>18018030
Never had penetrational sex to require them

>>18018031
you're retarded. why are you even involved with him if you want an emotional attachment.

>>18018035
>Lol that's for his benefit though, I'm getting him off just fine.

I get off to getting others off :P

Girls

If you worked at a fast food place and a guy tried giving you his number over the counter, would that make you feel awkward?

What if he asks for ketchup and slips you his number in the exchange?

>>18018051
No. If I were still a few years younger, it would've made me a bit flustered but no more. Provided you just hand it and walk away, or say you like me and hand it then walk away, and don't awkwardly stand around waiting for me to confirm that I'll call.

Don't make a thing out of it, just straight up hand it to her. Those things are never smooth in real life.

>>18018001
>>18018005
>>18018013
>>18018020

Well, thanks for your inputs guys/girls. It's something I have to put some thought into before talking further about it.

Most of what you say sounds reasonable and I would actually agree with it.
But I feel like there is some more depth to it, especially when you mention that you get bored of someone because of it.

I crave harmony in a relationship and I really don't mind pulling back for things that I do not very deeply care about.
So I feel like I might be on the edge to what you would see as "nice guy" or worse "not a real man".
But maybe not.

I'll have to think about.

Have a good one lads.

>>18018043
Because after 5 years of looking and always getting the same response of "I'm not looking for anything serious"
I decided this was just the way people do this now and I'll take what I can get. Sure beats being alone every single night.

Sure, I'll take an emotional relationship if it's offered to me over something casual any day, but I'm also perfectly ok with this situation in the meantime if its the only thing being presented to me.

It's like having a craving for ice cream and your favorite's chocolate, but when you get to the store all they have is strawberry. Yeah it's not what you wanted, but strawberry is ok, and it's better than no icecream at all right? Might as well eat the strawberry until the store restocks the chocolate.

Thats what I'm doing. Waiting until people start dating again.

>>18018019
Just talk to him, tell him wassup you wann a try some fetishes or toys. Go together to the sex shop and look around. Dont be afraid to ask. The people that work there usually give you pretty good tips. Try a buttplug first, have him penetrate your vagina with a butt plug. And keep in mind that the sex positions that get you feelimg the most is doggy style with you face on the mattres, misionary, and i dont know the name of the other one but its where you lay down face up, with your legs open holding the up and have him penetrate you. That usually hits the spot.
If you want him to go down on you, just make sure youre clean shaven. Going down and getting a couple of hairs in your mouth is kinda of a turnoff. And also if theres a funky smell, try some femenine wash and/or go to the doctor and he'll give you something to balance that ph. Cuz honestly, thats a major turnoff, going down on a girl and getting a whiff of that pussy..
P.s. when buying a dildo, make sure you dont buy something bigger than his dick cuz thatll make him insecure. Even if he says it doesnt, it does..

>>18018057
For what it's worth, I'm >>18018013 and my last partner wasn't confrontational at all. I don't like fighting. It was just obvious that he wasn't pussyfooting around me either, and that's all that matters. I want someone who IS kind (and sometimes is in a different mood, or provoked or whatever), not someone who ACTS kind (all the time).

>>18018059
you're looking in the wrong places then. you need to try a different scene, different guys. why settle for mediocre men when they clearly aren't satisfying you and don't know how to?

someone who cares will try and make the experience good for you rather than just shoving their fingers in your vagina like a big dumb ape.

>>18018059
It has alot to do with where youre meeting people. and dont loose you virginity with someone youre having a casual thing. If yiure gonna give it up let it be with a one night stand or a guy you actually dated for a while. Because if its someone thats around you, youre pretty likely to catch feelings. Specially being someone you spend a lot of time with.
And dont settle for strawberry, you want chocolate ice cream and they dont have at that shop, go to the next one. Dont ever settle for less.

>>18018052
I screwed up just a few minutes ago. See I went with thia old lady friend of mine to bk and saw this kawaii grill. Old lady friend of mine was all "she's cute, you should give her your number". I was all...nah, she's busy yadda yadda. But later I returned to see if she was still there, didn't see her right away so I played it off n went to the bathroom. When I walked out, there she was, but there was also some lady at the cash register and I didn't know if that was her boss or whatever, didn't wanna put er on the spot, but she noticed me n I said to myself...abort mission.

Then I thought, why didn't I just pull the old ketchup move?

Welp, little late now. Maybe next time.

>>18018057
You have completely missed the point. It's not about conflict or arguing for the sake of arguing at all

>>18018085
Shouldd gone fpr it. An old lady,even being theamager, prpbably wouldnt mind seing the start lf what could be a love story. And chances are the lady wouldve helped you out with that number.

>>18018065
Again, we're sticking on 3rd base for these reasons>>18018031
He just made it clear from the start that he just inheretly finds the idea of tasting vagina gross and it makes him queasy thinking about it. No matter what it looks like or how it smells. He's just not into it. Therefore, he also never asks or expects blowjobs.
I can understand it, I fell the same way about anal really. The idea of it alone just grosses me out so I'll never do it or even try it. He just feels that same kind of feeling about going down, so I'm good with it. He doesn't have to.
>dildo
lol I don't think that will be a problem, as I described in the post above. His dick size scares me enough as is I don't think I want it in me. None of my vibrators come even close to him (and my small vibrators are also too big for me to insert, I just use them externally.)
I've still got a lot of working up to do before I'll be ready to take a real cock. Fingering is already rather uncomfortable, even when I'm thoroughly aroused. When the time comes for me to feel ready to do sex for real, I'll probably be working myself up from small ass dildos to prepare.
>>18018076
I've tried:
>Meeting class mates
>joining clubs at school
>having friends introduce me to their friends
>online dating
>going out to bars and clubs
>chatting up strangers on the street
I'm not sure where else to look. I'm either rejected straight out, or most commonly asked for a ons. It was hard enough for me to have found this guy willing to be a regular thing.
I don't think he's mediocre. He's kind, patient, and fun to be around. He's just not interested in a committed relationship. Hardly anyone is in college. He is exactly the type I would date if he were willing to reciprocate those feelings. He says he doesn't have time for that kind of stuff though.

>>18018069
Interesting.
I am actually always in a good mood, even if I might have reasons not to be.
As long as my partner is not the one causing those reasons not to be in a good mood I wouldn't let her feel any grudge.

I actually hate it when people treat me poorly because their day was shit.
It's not my fault.

And that means that being in a bad mood is not an excuse for being bitchy to me.
Not that I expect my partner to be happy all the time..

>>18018086
You realize I am talking to a few different people here - each giving different vibes

Consider yourself on the "I agree with" side if your point is illustrated well enough by the concert example.

>>18018092
If I go now it'll be my third time there today, might as well work there.

Kinda spergy too, she'll notice I was dragging spaghetti earlier.

>>18018080
Yeah, that's why I'm holding back with him. I am still holding onto the fantasy to some degree. I think it's the age I'm at. Your early 20's are weird. You move around a lot, you're busy with work and/or school, and there's just a TON of people presenting themselves to you. Why would you pick just one? The time is now to enjoy youth without being bogged down by responsibility/commitment. I totally understand why people do this.
I'm thinking "Well, when I'm a little older, it'll probably mellow out. My time will come then." so I'm waiting for now.
But I'm absolutely miserable and frustrated without human touch. I'd much rather have this than nothing. Before I got into this, I was depressed, lonely, and considering just blowing my brains out and being done with it already. Now I feel much more level. It's not what I wanted but good enough to tide me over while I wait. I've gone to every "ice cream shop" I can find, and none of it's offering what I want. As I said in the second half here >>18018099, it's not like I haven't been looking everywhere I can think of.
I'd still much rather have this than nothing at all while I wait it out.

>>18018099
Maybe there's a reason why men are rejecting you, like you're not seen as "gf" material because they don't like your look or some part of your personality.

>>18018120
Thats certainly a possibility. I'm not claiming to be perfect. I'm no 10/10, my personality is rather submissive, I'm shy and not outspoken, I overthink things sometimes. I also move more slowly than most in relationships.

Regardless, they ain't interested in gf'ing me so I'm still in this same spot. There's no major flaw in my personality/looks that I feel I have any control over. I still like who I am regardless, and I wouldn't really want to turn my entire being upside down in the hopes of catching someone's attention.

What does it mean when you're on a date with a woman and she shows you how many matches and superlikes she gets on Tinder? She also talked a lot about how guys keep messaging her and texting her all day. She seemed interested and told me she wanted to meet again. I noticed the next day she posted a picture on her snap story of her on another date. I can't tell if she was genuinely interested or what

>>18018142
Who cares?
If you are looking for a relationship she is definitely not material.

If you are just looking to hook up then proceed, but stop caring.

Odd question,

Grabbing a coffee with a girl i met over tinder next week, seemed to hit off well and she said shes excited to see me.

But how do you greet them, meeting her in the cafe. Dont think id hug her (though shes continental European), but im not about to give her a firm handshake either.

>>18018191
I might be biased because I'm Italian, but light kiss on the cheek isn't the norm at a date?

>>18017504
Guys,
Should i be worried if my boyfriend still watches porn? Even though he have sex at least twice a week?

>>18018230
**we

>>18018230
>>18018232
No

Why don;t women wear their hair in braids even though it's clearly the GOAT female hairstyle?

>>18018230
If I can fap multiple times per day, I don't see any reason fucking would completely eradicate someone's interest in porn.

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>>18018237
Do you live under a rock?

>>18018241

I mean I see it occasionally, but it's fairly rare.

I guess now that I'm thinking about it, it probably takes a lot of time to do up, so maybe that's why it isn't more common.

>>18017908
Just focus on the reasons why you broke it off and be thankful that you weren't wasting both your time.

If you still feel a tinge of guilt, maybe hold off dating to focus on you first.

You're holding on to the feelings and memories rather than the person herself

>>18018230
>Should i be worried if my boyfriend still watches porn?

Nah. Shit like porn has a kind of has nothing to do with fantasies or fucking other women, it's more like porn has an automatic bypass for guys that instantly triggers pleasure sensors and is a quick and easy way to get off (there are studies that say that this is a BAD thing and that it can cause a stagnation and even regression in brain development, but at this point in time, that's assertion is more clickbait headline than actual proven fact.)

Chocolate actually does something somewhat similar in women (bypasses conscious systems to trigger biological responses)

Drugs like Ecstasy do exactly that too (in fact supposedly that was why ecstasy was created: As a "therapeutic" method to trigger a feeling of euphoria and love in couples who were having hard times.)

>>18018191
>how do you greet them, meeting her in the cafe

Whatever your comfortable with.

I'm going to say 90% of my first dates (regardless of meeting them online or not) I greeted them with a hug.

>>18018249
>I guess now that I'm thinking about it, it probably takes a lot of time to do up, so maybe that's why it isn't more common.

Not as long as you'd think, but it does require a certain amount of skill and know how (that is surprisingly uncommon. I think my GF is the only girl I know that knows how, and other girls are always impressed when she does it for them) and wearing tight braids (like pictured) does damage your hair.

>>18018051
Depends if I actually want to get your number or not. There are only a handful of instances where I thought the guy was hot.

If she seems sincere to your flirting and has been on repeat instances then it's worth a shot

To the ladies, I have PPP and this has seriously affected my confidence when trying to get a gf or relationship since if I ever got anywhere they'd probably be like is that an std!? I'm now a 22yo virgin. Am i forever alone? (Probably) also have any of you ever heard of or seen this before from friends or partners?

>>18018262

Thanks anon. In a way, I'm glad I was able to see that this wouldn't work out long term so quickly. I felt like I wasn't ready for a long term relationship, that things were moving too fast and I was constantly unsure whether i truly loved her, or just liked being with someone. I could probably continue dating her, but realized that it just wasn't fair both towards her and myself.

But at the same time, rejecting a good person, who's done no wrong towards me sucks. I've never been so close with anyone in my life, so it feels like I lost a very good friend.

>>18018237
It takes a ton of time to put up.
Kind of the same reason most girls don't do an updo every single day and save it for special occasions.

Unless you're talking about the ole, loose sloppy braid and then that's because it doesn't really look nice.

>>18018237
>>18018350
Also it can be very hard to do by yourself, therefore you'd need someone else who has the skill to do it for you. Not many people have their own personal hairdressers and stuff ready at their bedside each morning.

>>18018298
Huh, this is the first time I've ever heard of it, had to google it. Yeah, I can see why you'd have that fear, to someone who's never seen it before it can certainly look like that.
Hell, not really the same but I had gotten some god awful razor burn once and had a dude ask if it was an std lol. People get a little spooked when the junk doesn't look like what they were expecting, it happens.

Though I understand that this makes you hesitate in finding a relationship, I still think so long as you took time to really get to know someone before clothes start coming off, you'll get to a point where you can just explain the condition and they'll believe in you. In this day and age where sex is almost expected to be instantaneous I understand this is no easy solution, but you can still do it.
Even if you're just hooking up and met this bitch an hour ago, all you can do is just explain it. Educate them on it, and if they're still turned off oh well. They're just one of many women out there.
But in all honesty, if its a chick who actually loves you, she'll still wanna keep ya regardless of what it looks like. I've had guys turn me away just because I was an outie, yeah it stung a bit but I got over it and found many who were cool with it. I think you can too.

Was talking to a cute girl in one of my classes was joking around with her and flirting and she was eating it up, well today I try to talk to her and she's showing no emotion giving blank faces and half ignoring me

Idk what I did to her I know she doesn't have a bf, should I just drop her?

>>18018404

Ever consider that maybe she was just having a bad day and it was not about you at all? That happens. Try again another time and if she's still cold towards you, move on.

>>18018411
Idk she was talking to her girlfriends in the class right after I stopped trying to talk to her

Normally when my girlfriend and I fool around together with foreplay and all that, I'll finger her, and she's always so wet when that happens. Last time however, things were so dry down there–it actually made it difficult to finger.

How did this happen? Lots of foreplay was involved, she seemed into it, etc. But things were dry

>>18018382
Hey thanks this is more or less what I've tried but it means a lot coming from a chick. In regards to your outie I like both types ;) haha

>>18017932
I think you're getting caught up in that classic
>she doesn't want this extreme so she must want the other extreme instead
which isn't accurate. Use your noggin, bring it down some. There's a massive middle ground between being plain old mean and being nauseatingly saccharine. Be a relatively independent man who sticks up for himself, treat her well, but not like a princess, etc. I think I've made my point.

I find that most women, at least any woman I'd want to wind up with (and most guys feel the same) want a partnership, an equal partnership, you dig?

How am I supposed to start up a convorsation with a girl via text i feel like im always just being a nuisance if I have no direct reason to text someone

>>18018431
Hah yeah I get it man.
I know it's not exactly the same thing, since I'm sure there's more outie vaginas total in the world than there are people with your condition, but I know what it's like to fell a little self conscious about not looking like the "norm".

Just gotta try to keep your head up if you do get bad experiences. Somethings bound to click eventually.

And thank you hah. I had a number of bad experiences right when I first started to become sexually active so it was kind of rough constantly being shot down and told it was gross. I really wanted to give up too, but then it just started to get better. I met more and more people who were ok with it, and even eventually met someone who actually prefers it that way.
Who knows. People like a lot of different things.

>>18017504
Girls, what does in mean when I'm fucking you in missionary position and you start fingering my butthole?

>>18018477
Suggest for her to tag along to something like a local event. Even if she doesn't want to, her responses will tell you whether she feels like chatting or not. (Does she ask question back? Reply elaborately? Show enthusiasm at being asked? Reply quickly?)

If you really feel you don't know her well enough for that, don't text her either, bond more first through whatever way you got to know her or if you asked her number straight up ask her on a date.

>>18018522
That she finds it hot (or is at least not grossed out by it) and either hopes or thinks that it's something you'll enjoy. Basically exactly what it would mean if you started fingering her butthole.

>>18018428
This has happened to me a few times in my life, never found out what caused it. (Not on medication or hormonal birth control, no smoker etc.) My bet is either related to menstrual cycle (in general this has an influence on kind and amount of discharge, how easily she gets wet etc) and related hormones, or it's psychological and she's stressed for whatever reason.

If you have a relaxed enough relationship to not make this awkward, tell her to focus on how it feels for her if she's wet when she has issues getting wet, and for a minute or so picture this as vividly as possible. That typically helps, like how you start salivating just thinking about your mouth watering.

>>18018298
I know it from 4chan. Honestly yeah, it could happen that a girl doesn't realize what it is and you need to explain it to her, but bodies are weird and diverse... there's always a possibility that something is new to her, and likely something about her parts will be a first for you as well.

It's no big deal, no one is going to pull out a magnifying glass to inspect your dick, it's just some harmless little fibs. Real fucking low on the list of stuff to care about, even if we restrict it to penile priorities.

>>18018289
I will try eventually. I never had a problem approaching girls before really, it was more the work related scenario, didn't wanna jeapordize her job or have coworkers looking at her with indifference. So yeh

Girls?

How oblivious is my friend?

A girl mentioned going to get tea, and she offered up Valentines day. (A day that they usually don't see eachother) And my friend is still doubting that she is interested... Granted he's 19 and shes 28)

>>18018191
>shes continental European

Kiss on the cheek.

t. continental European

>>18018582

>A girl mentioned going to get tea, and she offered up Valentines day. (A day that they usually don't see eachother) And my friend is still doubting that she is interested... Granted he's 19 and she's 28


This is no where near enough information to determine whether or not she's interested in him.

>>18018582
Pretty damn oblivious, but it's always easier to be level-headed as the outsider who doesn't have anything at stake.

Plus he's nineteen...

>>18018591
Well, I can list so much of this.

Flirts with him, Hovers around him constantly, Sends 150-200 word text messages regularly (Probably with a friends help) and other stuff and having him help with "What is Love" project

>>18018594
True. It's easier to judge from the outside sometimes. But so many things should be obvious to him....

But that age gap is kinda unnerving?

>>18018604
For the record, I do agree with the other poster that in itself wanting to meet on Valentine's isn't conclusive, but to me it's the combination of her being almost thirty (even if it's innocent, she'd want to avoid giving off the wrong impression and be experienced enough to put herself in his shoes most likely) and literally making him save the day three weeks in advance that seals the deal.

Yeah I think so. I mean, if he wants to get laid by a hot twenty eight year old by all means he should do so, but I wouldn't ever advise a nineteen year old to seek out anything serious with someone nine years older. All the more if she herself doesn't address it in any way - she's a grown ass woman chasing a teenager, that's creepy to me. I don't think it's wrong for them to have sex but even then I'd say she should wait for him to show interest, not push herself on him.

>>18018609
He actually offered up next week, but she pushed for that day instead.

Honestly, from what he tells me, she looks ~18-20, and is in alot of the same college classes as him.
And he's made it obvious that he is interested in her romantically. So, she probably knows what she's doing here.

>>18018624
I never understand why people put so much emphasis on the looks aspect. Yeah sure, it's good if they can walk around without attracting too much attention (though at his age I think he also has a skewed idea of how old the average twenty eight year old looks, on a lifetime that's still pretty damn young), but it's hardly got anything to do with why people advise against relationships with an age gap.

It sounds cool and mature/progressive to say that age is just a number, but it's not. Yes older people can be immature and young people can be wise beyond their years, but age is a very concrete representation of how much experience you've had being an adult. She has almost ten years on him in that regard.

Talking from my experience, I'm now turning twenty four and I was a different person at nineteen. Not entirely of course, but my ability to deal with responsibilities, invest in long term bonds, make sacrifices for my future, see things in perspective and know what to worry about and what to shrug off... all of that's grown so much. All my friends are around my age, not because I don't think younger people can be interesting and insightful and what not, but because they fret about stuff and come with insecurities and hang ups that I am very relieved to not deal with personally anymore and don't want to deal with by proxy, either. And that's just talking about maintaining a good friendship - not your partner, who should be able to understand your worries about the future and console when you're plagued by old hurt, who should really for all intents and purposes be on the same wavelength and ready to go through life by your side as different and independent, but equal, partners. Even just at my age I cannot imagine feeling like I could get that from a teenager.

>>18018650
It's different between a thirty year old and a forty year old, your teen and adolescent years are much more formative in comparison. A whole lot is happening - this woman has likely lived by herself for a decade, making her own money, working her way through serious long term relationships. If we say that around age twelve (roughly) you start to identify yourself as an independent person, she's simply had twice as long as he has to grow and strengthen herself.

Now I'm not ruling out that there's cases where two people with this age gap simply fall madly and irrevocably in love, but it's alarming to me if she doesn't even bother to acknowledge that this is a highly unusual dynamic with an inherent power imbalance.

Given that you say he is interested in her romantically, I doubt there's much you can (or should try to, he won't thank you for that) do to convince him to not go for it, but keep an eye on him.

What are women like?

I'm only familiar with my mother and my cousin.

>>18018661

This might be hard to believe, but they are not all the same. They come in all shapes, ages and sizes. And they each have their own personalities.

>>18018650
I guess. I'm mostly mean that they both act similarly, and look close enough in age. And they seem to click insanely well. So, yea.


>>18018657
From what he tells me, she seems to have never had a relationship, and still lives with her parents. (Kinda odd, but still.) She still seems to not work full time either, as she still has the time to take a full class load and join clubs at school. And she did that they won't ask each other their age. So as far as she knows, He's 18-24. (He only found hers by accident)

So... Don't know what that says.

All I know this is a bit odd of a situation

>>18018661
Very different from each other, like men. There's patterns of certain kinds of women who share similarities, but really on an individual basis and especially when you know them well, they just come with all the personal quirks, personal history and contradictions that people generally come with and no two are exactly alike.

Of course women are brought up in a different way and move in their own social context (especially women among each other), so some behavior will look a bit different. But if you go one layer deeper, you'll see that what moves them is the same, it's just a different expression. Like how women can cry when they are very angry, whereas men can become aggressive when their feelings are hurt, because they are both falling back on the emotion that is most accepted for them to display socially and has been discouraged the least throughout their life.

Having said that I don't believe that there are no biological differences between men and women, but I honestly think that there's little sense in trying to apply that to the handful of individuals you'll really get close to at a time in your own life.
From anecdotal observation I find that women tend to be more reflexive/critical about and aware of their emotional/inner life and take a more measured, active stance in their relationships (family/friends/romance). I also feel that women are as a whole less competitive, and tend to value a broad understanding of many different things and developing in different directions over wanting to be the best at something. I also feel that women at the very least are typically more in touch with their nurturing side, and aware of the happiness and freedom you can feel in enabling someone else to do/be better.

Men I find more focused (as opposed to broad), more playful and more escapist, more oriented towards society or even the world as opposed to social networks and community.

>>18018684
This does reassure me a bit, mostly the part where she doesn't know his exact age. Twenty four and twenty eight is fine I think, or at least very reasonable for her to not see any issue with.

As for what it says that she hasn't really had those adult experiences - well, that she's a bit behind in life at least in some major areas. That can be a turn off for obvious reasons (does he see himself in her position in nine years time? probably not) but it will likely also mean that they have more in common and can relate to each other more.

>>18018725
I guess. It seems like even though there is almost a 10 year age difference, the way they act seems to put them closer to a 3-4 year practical age difference at most.

I guess I'll just see how they play out. Chances are they'll get on perfectly fine I think?

>>18018742
Well, it would absolutely make a difference if she hasn't actually been through a lot in life. After all that is what the difference is typically rooted in. If she's basically lived as a teenager for all that time, it's not surprising to me that they seem much closer together than they are.

>>18018747
True. Though I don't know if any of that is true, its just what he's guessing given how she acts. Though we do know that she did study abroad in Europe for a year or so.

I guess, given what we know it seems like they will probably be fine, but only time will tell.

I've only been dating a girl for a couple weeks...for valentine's day I thought I should buy her something. I was thinking candy, a book, and an art postcard. Does that seem good?

I was hurt by a girl, more than anyone hast hurt me before, second being my own mother, and now I've completely gone off women.

I'm not gay either.

I feel alone.

>>18018826
Yup, seems perfect to me. Any small thing would be good, don't spend more than 10 bucks.

>>18017585

Shouldn't have thrown away your chance at wizardhood, son.

You got 0 immunity to magic now.

I got a +23 resistance to that shit. I'm so cautious around lady magic that most girls full powered "eye-fuck" spells cause me to look away instinctively.
Shit, they could pull a physical contact spell where they get close enough to produce a nice fucking scent and get really intimate and I can just walk away from that shit cautious like, rather than having my mind go numb and get hypnotised like you.


When I'm level 30 and a full wizard, I'll develop an immunity to awkwardness. That's what I'm waiting for.

>>18018718
Good post. Love the nurturing side of them. Even just having female friends is great. They try to understand you and feel with you, whereas male friends rationalize your problems. But I think women cry more because that's just what they do. The thing with aggression in men is something I find natural. The most and worst cases of destructive behaviour you'll find coming from men for that reason. Violence is male dominated through cultures and history.
I also found that women have a harder time amusing themselves below their niveau.
I want to add a physical part with things that kinda fascinate me. They eat, shit, and fart less, freeze faster. They move different, wich is something that stands out in sports. Less explosive, less force and weight behind it. Seen some chicks in my gym that are pound for pound stonger than me, but it still stands out. To add to that, even these kinda muscular chicks, with kinda wider shoulders and muscly arms have thin necks. Even untrained mens necks are far more muscular on average. They are a lot more flexible than men, and flexibility just comes kinda naturally to them. That's something I really envy. Often they enjoy bitter tastes less than men.
That part was probably pretty unnessecary, but as a male this kinda fascinates me about women.

>>18018477
This >>18018538 is solid advice.

Wanted to reconnect with a girl I used to work with and always had a small crush on so I invited her to come out with me and a mutual friend (our ONE mutual friend, because the world apparently isn't THAT small) and she turned me down on account of having plans for that day already, but immediately came back and asked if we would be going another time because she did want to go etc etc.

Killer move for gauging whether or not someone has any interest in speaking to you.

Does rely on having mutual friends and being close enough to them in the first place that it wouldn't be weird to invite them.

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I got emotional over lifew for a couple minutes whIle my best friend (4 years) and Fwb (3 months) was over. I cried then said I'm okay I'm just overwhelmed. After u stoped we were laying there cuddling for a a couple mins before he started making out with me then fucking.

I'm probably over thinking it but was there a message there? Or was he trying to fuck me before I got emotional again?
I'm not usually an emotional girl. I hide my feelings. I'm super positive so that's the only reason for my assumption.

>>18019196
I'm so sorry for my grammar. Dyslexia at its finest

>>18018833
Some girls get hurthe by their dad's. And then men they date.
I tell theme
>no honey don't judge the entire gender.

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Help...

>Be last weekend
>At big party
>Around 64 people in total
>Crowd begins to thin as it gets late
>Party down to around 40 people now
>I'm drunk off my ass doing stupid shit
>Everyone is pretty drunk/high
>Most people just pass out on the floor
>Fall asleep in guest room around 5 AM
>Wake up around noon
>Completely naked on the floor by bed
>Someone is laying in the bed
>It's my best friend's sister
>She's naked too
>Don't remember anything
>She tells me we had sex
>And I ended up falling off the bed afterwards
>She has a boyfriend
>And I knew this
>But was too drunk and too stupid not to have sex


I know "I was drunk" isn't an excuse, but long story short, she told EVERYONE that we had sex, she admits we were both really drunk but everyone is more pissed at me and feeling sorry for her, all my friends told me to fuck off and that I was an awful person for having sex with her while she has a boyfriend, meanwhile they're all hanging out with her like nothing happened

What the fuck do I do to fix this?

>>18019196
yeesh.
None of us can really say what his intentions were, but idk. I find something kind of sleezy about fucking a chick who was just crying.

>>18019196
>fwb
>was he trying to fuck me before
Gee...

Autist here. I'm coming off a lifelong battle with mental illness including, but not limited to, severe social anxiety. I'm starting university this fall where I plan to turn my life around. I want to potentially meet a girl there. The problem is that by the time I get there I'll be 26.

How many people can I expect to find there close to my age? How weird will it be if (a very strong if) I get with someone and she turns out to be 18 or 19?

>>18019207
Just shrug and say "Whatever, I was so drunk I can't even remember"

Just say that over and over and over to anyone who asks you

The more you care the more they care

>>18019216
Sorry to burst your bubble, but very few. I've found in my college at least there's either the students of normal college age, 18-23, and then there's the students returning to college later in life after having already started their families and such, in the 30's-40's bracket.

Since you'd be entering as a freshman, you'll be in classes with kids 18-19. And you will probably be hard pressed to find many that are interested in dating that much above them.
Think about it, they're still basically high schoolers. They're going to still be rather immature.
However, if you do find someone cool with dating that much older than themselves, then it's fine. Don't matter what others think.
Now, if you're skillful enough to network yourself and somehow meet the older seniors outside of classes, you might have a better shot since they'll likely be more 23-24ish, which isn't too far off from you. But again, it's going to be hard because they'll only be there for another year or so, while you'll be there much longer.

I don't wanna say just give up or anything, but you are playing at absolute hard mode. If your goal in college is only to make friends/date, you're there are much easier and better ways of doing that at your age. But if you are going to get a degree so you can better your life or whatever, then by all means please do. You'll thank yourself later for doing that much even if your dreams of meeting people fall through.

>>18019240
Its not the only reason I'm going, I see this as the next logical step in my life after all the shit I've been though the past few years, even if its a little late.

But to be completely honest, I'm really desperate at this point. I'll spare the details but my situation caused me to have no real friends or relationships, ever. It wasn't until now that I could actually see myself changing that. I just want someone who I can be close with, sex is the last thing on my mind.

So my gf went travelling for a month. She got back and doesn't want to meet up with me, it has been 5 days. She says shes jetlagged and needs rest but she doesn't even drop me any texts even during her waking periods which is midnight.

Consider me paranoid, but is it possible she's cheating on me with someone else staying out late or is she actually resting?

>>18019387
I understand, and I really wanted to be optimistic with you since I think you are doing an incredibly difficult, but necessary thing, but I also just had to be real with you too.
It's not impossible, nothing is impossible really, but the odds are kind of slim. You can make it the best you can though if you have the strength to take the chance. You definitely won't get anything if you don't try. Might as well go down swinging, as I always say.
A chance is still a chance no matter how small.

Is there a way to stop male friends falling for you?

>>18019542
Get female friends or friends with a girlfriend.

Guys: should i bother dating if i value freedom over attachment to the extent that I can't even commit to being fwb with people? Do you think i will get over thisfeeling and want to commit to someone?

there is one person who if he asked i would willingly commit to him in a heartbeat but we don't talk anymore really. It makes me sad. I haven't seen him in 2 years and we don't speak often.

I met another guy and i like him and think he likes me, but again...i can't commit . We'd have to be really poly. and i think it would hurt him. It just itches bad if i'm even sleeping with someone twice with no strings attached. I feel trapped and i guess wishing it was the one guy i can't forget.

>>18019684
I have female friends, and I also have a boyfriend.

>>18019738
You might change your mind in time, but I would say right now that the answer to that is no, at least not until you're set on committing, because most people get into relationships wanting to commit and right now you'd be starting off on different pages if you were seeing someone you didn't see yourself committing to.

>>18019745
Perfect. Hang out with your female friends.
Single guys who talk to you don't want to be your friends 90% of the time.

>>18019749
I don't go out of my way to hang out with them, but I can't just ignore them when I see them at school or work. We're friends.

>>18019751
Try to have just very minimal social contact with them.
If they hit on you, reject them harshly.

>>18019749
That's retarded.

>>18019746
Thanks you're right. I see relationships as just spending nice times with someone until you move on after you experience enough with them , or you decide to stay. I will not date people right now then. Maybe i will change.

>>18019753
I'm sorry, but did you not read the part where I said we're friends? I get along with them and I like their company. I don't want to ignore them and act like a bitch to them.

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I'm dating this colleague from work, but no one knows, as long as we don't have a relationship yet we don't wanna let people know, or they shittalk it to death or whatnot.

Problem is, yesterday some other colleague told the girl I'm dating she should be careful around me, because I'm always hitting on the girls. Which is bullshit. She brought it up once before, two weeks ago. I told my girl that this is bull, I'm just nice - like I am the type that compliments people if I feel something looks good or nice or whatever, regardless of their gender. I don't feel this is hitting on them, I don't wanna bed someone only because I think their hair or style looks nice or whatever.

She understood and everything went fine until yesterday, when the same fucking colleague told her again to be careful when they hung out together.

Now the girl I date seems distant to me, maybe she's still believing that bull. Should I explain myself again or just let it rest and hope she knows that I'm not hitting on everyone and just date her because it worked on her, but that I date her because she really matters to me. It pains me to see her so distant because of some bullshit some colleague that barely knows me spews.

>>18019755
In my experience, if a single guy tries to befriend you it is just to eventually fuck you.
I can think of one case where it didn't happen, in 25 years.

I have friendships with guys, but they are all married/in a relationship as I am.

>>18019758
Well whichever route you choose just make sure it's the one you want. I'd say just keep an open mind on it cause some day you might see yourself really wanting a serious relationship with some guy. Or maybe not. Just make sure it's by your choice.

>>18019761
Don't you understand that they're not your friends? They want to fuck you.
If you can't stop your male friends to fall for you, it is because they have never been your friends to begin with. It's inappropriate to be friends with people who want to fuck you if you are in a relationship with someone else.
Don't be a bitch to your boyfriend and stop hanging out with your orbiters.

>>18019764
If you want to be serious with her, be serious with her. Dancing around and hiding your relationship is just non-committal behavior.

And stop flirting with your co-workers, you goddamn jackass.
>b-but I'm just ni-
Shut the fuck up. It doesn't matter how you justify it to yourself. It's how others perceive your actions.

>>18019774

We mutually agreed to hide it for the time being, I'd rather commit faster to something, she's more or less the one that slows down real commitment to it.

And yes, even though I never had intentions of flirting I now know since two weeks ago that this is how I was perceived, I already stopped being nice to people but the girl I date. Still, people bringing up old baggage is now fucking things up.

I am really contemplating writing her on whatsapp explaining myself once more, telling her that I feel like she's still concerned about that shittalk and that there's nothing to be concerned because I only care about her

>know female friend for long time
>usually end up talking/flirting when she is coming out of relationships
>keep her arms length usually because i know i could develop the feels and it fucked me up in the past
>one day my friend tries to convince me i should embrace those feelings
>start flirting with her hard and doing nice shit for her
>know this is a bad idea but start having a bigger crush on her
>never say something like "i have feelings for you" so nothing escalates
>friend tells me i need to make a move
>dont get a chance to do it for various reasons
>shes seeing someone else now
>now left with these crush feelings with no possible way to do anything and feel like a cuck

i dont want to turn into an autistic obsessive fuck. but somehow ive lost my way and i cant remember how i got out of this the first time. i dont want to feel negative or bitter but cant help but feel like i got blue balled a little bit. im not used to making moves on girls or even being in a relationship so i dont really do anything. im just left with these feelings now and not sure what i should do. will it pass? we still run in similar circles and interact here and there. now i feel anxiety and shit thinking about running into her though which i didnt before. should i just make myself scarce and intentionally avoid contact with her for a while?

>>18018661
They are warm, clean, delicate, crazy... I wish I weren't SO crazy for them. I'm fapping to one as I type this.

>>18018871
Hahaha
I envy you. I'm hypnotised by at least 5 girls (1 from dating site, 1 from another country, 1 prostitute and some that I know IRL) right now. :(

>want a girlfriend, want friends as well
>don't want anyone to get to know me because i'm a boring piece of shit
>don't know how to be an interesting and passionate or likable person
>have no idea what internally would make me attractive to girls
Maybe I should just accept that I'm going to be alone forever.

>>18020182
Who are the people who you would want to be friends with? What makes them interesting?

Would you get back together with your ex if they fucked someone else while you were apart?

>>18019542
Short answer: No.

I make an effort to be careful around guys who I sense fall easy. I don't ever touch them, I don't make any jokes they could misinterpret, I talk about my boyfriend around them. If I can see that they've really fallen, I distance myself a bit.

There are people who don't believe that single people have any reason to be around the opposite sex without wanting to court each other. Or that if you are attracted to someone, a simple friendship will cause anguish. Don't argue with these people. There is nothing we can do to change their mind. They are speaking from their own life and who they are with other people.

>>18019398
I like to give the benefit of the doubt. It's the easiest way. I do agree that that is weird. I wouldn't jump to assuming that she's cheating, but something might be up.

Just tell her that you miss her.

How long have you been dating?

My GF currently lives about 8 hours away from me. I'm going to be moving closer to her in a year probably, but my job makes me move around a lot until then. I'm currently in training, which is kinda like a continuation of college, so I've been going out to bars with the lads a lot. Usually this is fine, but last night my gf asked me to text me when I got home since she was worried about me or something silly like that. I told her not to worry, that I would text her, and she said 'okay, have fun!' Unfortunately I got blitzed and passed out without texting her, and now she won't talk to me. What do?

>>18018718
>>18018885
These perspectives are pretty cool. It's neat to see the outsider perspective of men.

>>18019738
>Guys: should i bother dating if i value freedom over attachment
Fuck does that even mean? All that really comes to mind is you want to be able to flake on engagements and not deal with the fallout. I've never felt like I lost freedom in the relationship, because it was mostly just agreeing on not being a dick.

>>18018237
>>18018350
>>18018354
>Braids GOAT
>very hard to do by yourself

Man, you guys are making me feel cool about myself. I wear double french braids pretty frequently for convenience, but I always thought they made me look juvenile.

>>18017504
Women

How do I stop scaring you guys?

>>18017816
>>18017750
She probably reacted that way because she was embarrassed. That could honestly be a way of hitting on you. I know that one of the first times I realized I was attracted to my boyfriend is when I thought, "He would be a great dad."
Because you know what that implies? "Please put a baby in me"

>>18018142
lmao run her over
skanks need to be genocided

>>18019738
You might want to step back and consider why you're like this. Why is it so scary to be with one person? You say it itches, practice some introspection and analyze what that means. Is it a fear that you'll be expected to have responsibilities? Is it a fear that you'll miss out on something better? Why is having the same thing boring? Why is predictability bad? What is being trapped, really? What does it mean to you?

How do these fears mirror experiences you had in the past, maybe with your family? Do you think maybe there are some things that you're neglecting to acknowledge? Maybe some issues you need to work out, and admit that it hurt you?

>>18020245
Tell her that you're sorry that you passed out without texting her. Tell her that you know that she was worried about you. You know that it's hard to be so far away, wondering if everything's okay.

That's really all you can do, and then you let it be. She's going to have to learn to deal with things like this. We aren't perfect and things happen. She can't let something minor like this ruin her day.
Of course, don't tell her that, because that is aggressive and she'll get defensive. Just let her work it out.

>>18020239
There are a lot of factors that go into getting back with an ex. All my exes I would never get back with, so I have a hard time visualizing a situation where I would break up with someone or someone would break up with me, and I would want us to get back together.

I'm not much of a jealous person when it comes to the concept of the people I love with other people, so imagining my ex with someone else- particularly when we were not together- isn't a big deal to me. This would be a bigger deal to the kind of person who is disturbed by the idea of their lover even fucking in previous relationships.

Girls

What would you think if a male friend kindly asks for some making out/groping and petting? No sex!

Guys how would you react if your gf told you she waxes her upper lip. Would you find it unsexy?

>>18020345
I don't know why you need to tell if he doesn't notice.

But no I wouldn't give a shit, I would be happy that she waxes hair off than me realizing that she has hair there and me being so nervous asking for her to remove it.

>>18020281
I'll just think of you as that 13-year-old girl who said ''catch me outside how bout that''. White girls pretending to be black is cringey.

Guy here. I lost my virginity to an escort a few years ago. Am I correct in assuming I should never, ever ever tell my future partner under any circumstances.

>>18020367
That depends more on your partner to be honest.

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Girls

How do you make up to a girl? I know this girl for more than a year, she has a bf so we are just friends, but last night we were in a car alone (under some influences) and one thing lead to another she got scared (wanted to run away, yeah i know), basicly shit got out of control.
Today i wanted to talk to her but she responded slowly, with short (yes, no), so i cut the chase and just said that what happened happened and that we should forget it all and move on. She agreed immediately and we talked abit more, but still it doesnt feel right.
I legit want to have her just as a friend, because we put through alot of bad times together

>>18020359
Pretending to be black is the farthest I would describe myself. If we're making assumptions off braids, I'd sooner compare myself to Dorothy, a hick, a porn star, or someone with a little girl fetish.

>>18020383
What did you do that made her scared?

>>18020299
I think it's scary because one, I haven't found anyone I liked even half as much as the one guy, so I'm partly scared of hurting them when I invariably leave and they still have feelings for me. I leave because I am ashamed That I feel little to nothing for them even though i thought I did in the beginning.

I feel trapped because yeah, what if I meet someone else that I actually feel things for? I want to be free of attachments because when I do get attached, I get too invested emotionally and it gives me a bad head space about things. I start feeling like I'm losing myself and make bad decisions and behave stupidly. I had to go to psych ward the last time things went south because I have anxiety and everything snowballed. And because I can never get feelings for the other person, i feel trapped because they expect me to support them emotionally, and I just don't care enough about them to really give a shit. If i did actually care about them then none of this would be a problem. I can hang out with them and be happy for them if something good happens but i can't like deal with the stress of being more.

Part of it is also scared of being hurt, and I don't want to go to psych ward anymore. And I'm tired of not being myself when I get really attached.

My parents marriage is also not the marriage I want. They have stayed together and it isnt a bad marriage, but my mom doesnt respect my dad and expects him to do everything, while he thinks its funny. If i were my dad no joke i would have probably hit my mom a long time ago for running her mouth off like she does. I don't want to marry someone i love and treat them like a servant.

I guess i've got abandonment issues. Nothing super serious just a lot of things compounded. No friends growing up and the only one i did told me we shouldn't hang out anymore because i was weird. The best friends of my life in college i all pretty much lost to heroin. I told him i loved him and he ran away.

How do I know to stop talking to a girl and start kissing her if she doesn't make the "would this idiot shut up and kiss me already" face?

>>18018051
>tfw second day trying and she's not there

dang

learn from my failure anons kek

Is it true that all you need to do in order to get a gf is talk to girls?

Is "be yourself" legit advice?

I've always held back since I've thought that I'm a boring person and that no one would want to date me or talk to me.

21M in college

Friend is really into me.
I'm single, but there's another girl I'm incredibly close with who I plan on dating next semester (she's abroad currently)
I want to give things a try with my friend because she's a great person, hot, and has even told me she wants to see me naked.

I want to ask her out, but I'm worried about hurting her because this relationship probably won't develop into anything serious.

Any advice?

>>18020497
Yes. No.

>girl I know had a shift right before mine last semester
>would always hang around for like ten minutes talking to me, seemed pretty cool
>never fails to wave and say "Hi anon" whenever she saw me in public
>don't nut up and ask her out
>winter break passes
>shifts are no longer next to each other, haven't seen her randomly on campus yet
Am I a fucking idiot if I just message her on facebook? I have no excuse to, but I feel like I'm just letting a chance slip through my fingers if I don't.

>>18020497
You will never get a girlfriend if you don't talk to girls.

"Be yourself" is better said as, "Don't be who you're not." Don't change yourself to be something that is against your values. Work with yourself, improve yourself. But don't be something you don't want to be just for somebody else.

>>18020575
Here's your excuse:
"Hey! I haven't seen you in a while. Too bad about that shift change! How have things been? What did you do over winter break?"

My gf snuck behind my back and read my texts and saw I was talking to a another female. I feel bad now what can I do to make it up?

>>18020586
That was pretty much going to be what I was going to say. I just wanted to confirm that it wasn't a stupid fucking idea to try it.

>>18020604
Who was it?

>>18020323
I'd laugh and assume it's some kind of joke

>>18020628

Just someone over social media. The convo wasn't even sexual or anything

Guys

How can you tolerate dating, if you only get dates with people you aren't really attracted to?

I went out with a girl last night, and although we had conversation and whatnot. I just wasn't into it. It' seems every girl I go out with I'm not into.

>>18020646
Why do you feel like you have to make up for it? Would you think she has to make up just for talking to a male person?

>>18020662
Personality is everything in a good date. Stop eyeing out girls to ask out via their looks, and start asking out the girls who make you laugh and smile just by talking to them

>>18020662
Stop going out on dates with people you aren't into

>>18020668

I should have worded my OP differently...

I am not physically attracted to the girls I've been out with. I get along with their personalities. But I'm not physically attracted to them

>>18020670

If I did that, I don't think I'd be dating at all Tbh.

Guys

Are there any specific clothes you'd like your gf to wear?

>>18020678
Then either lower your standards or improve yourself so you can get dates with people you find more attractive.

>>18020662
As long it's clear that it's not really something romantic to both sides, its all right.

>>18020684

>lower your standards

How would that help me? If I'm not attracted to someone, then I'm just not attracted to them. Why would you suggest I chase girls that I like less than the ones I'm already talking to?

I don't really know how improving can help. I'm pretty average looking, slim built. I have a broad range of topics I can talk with people about, so if I can get a conversation going, I can usually talk to anyone. The problem is getting to that point. I don't have any real way to meet girls IRL. So I've tried online, but it's impossible to get responses from attractive girls (including 6/10s) because of just how online shit works..

>>18020700
>I don't really know how improving can help. I'm pretty average looking
>it's impossible to get responses from attractive girls (including 6/10s) because of just how online shit works
????

>>18020716

Again, how can I really improve?

I took some advice from a female friend (who's pretty attractive). I got some new clothes, better haircut, and I've been trying to go to the gym (although it's been difficult with my schedule). I don't really know what else I could do that would open the door

>>18020662

nofap/noporn

your standards will rapidly drop

>>18020731

Dude, I fap like once every 7 days, and I haven't looked at porn in probably 6-8 months

>>18020679

everyone has their own tastes

personally, seeing women in skirts and dresses is nice

Ladies, met girl on tinder, got a coffee, lasted about 3 hours. She had some concert to go to.

She told me to text her again, but what are some signs that the first date went well.

I ran into my ex girlfriend the other day. We haven't seen eachother in about a year.

She's blowing my phone up and I don't really know how I feel about her to be honest. We were friends for about a year, started dating, were serious for about 3 years, broke up, stayed as friends, slowly stopped talking to eachother.

What do I do? I haven't been ignoring her, so part of this is on me, but now she wants to hang out/get drinks.

The only reason I'm even talking to her is because I liked being friends with her before we dated, and she's the only girl that I've ever had a decent break up with (we fought a lot and both decided we should slow down, but there was still tension between us since we'd flip flop between acting like friends and being in relationship mode)

Sorry for the long post.

>>18020741
Uhhh, that she said to text her?
Even if she was just being polite, just do it! 'The fuck do you have to lose?

Girls

>Go on dates with girl
>She says she really enjoyed the time spent with me
>We cuddle while watching movies, even if her friends are there
>Everytime i try to kiss her she turns the cheek

Is she taking her time or she's not interested ?

>>18020772
She might be scared or intimidated, which is likely since I'm guessing you're barely old enough for your balls to have dropped.
Seems like it's ok so far though so stay the course, kid!

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I haven't seen the girl I liked for a few months (we had classes last semester, now we don't). I chickened out of trying to ask her out or anything. Anyway, turns out she gets out of a class at the same time I do just down the hall.

I understand that I just have to man up and go talk to her and work up to it, but does anyone have any general advice on not being awkward and obviously nervous as fuck? Being an anxious and neurotic person, I'm pretty weird about showing it.

>>18020679
I like: long skirts, long sleeves, one long braid, sandals, scrunchies, just normal modest girly things.

I prefer to avoid: chokers, short shorts, slutcore, any color hair other than natural, etc, I'm not saying it isn't always unattractive, but these are generally hoe tier items and the attraction will almost always be sex driven, nothing humble.

>>18020801
not saying it's always unattractive* rather

>>18020772
Shyness probably. 99% of women will not get close enough to cuddle if she's not interested at all. She'd put as much physical space between you as possible to establish your strictly platonic relationship. Since she's getting in "touching range" of you, it's a pretty good indicator she's at least somewhat interested. It could be she's still on the fence though.
Like, I was hanging out with a guy who had expressed interest in me. I was just unsure about it though, he was an incredibly nice guy, but I couldn't really tell what my feelings for him were because I hadn't spent enough time with him. So I took it slow and ran it through a trial. We'd cuddle, but I still wasn't quite sure if I wanted to kiss him or not yet, not that he really made any attempts. Give her a break a little bit, next couple times don't make any moves (unless she's initiating), let her think about it, then try again later.

Also if you weren't already, I'd suggest not even trying a move like than if it's not just you and her one on one. Cuddling with someone in front of your friends is one thing, mackin on them is another.

>>18020755
At the end of the day dude just work out what you really want from this girl. You're in a tough situation possibly coz if you want to fuck and she is cool with that then all systems go! But if she only wants to be friends and you try to slip her the sausage then it could ruin things permanently or make you look awkward and sad.
Conversely if you just want to be friends and so does she, then great! You get your friend back, however if you just want to be friends and she wants to fuck then think very carefully about where that might lead... you're either saying no (have a damn good reason why as it might upset her deeply) or if you do fuck then you might get back into bad old habits and end up getting screwed over by it.

>>18020729
Try not doing online dating. It's full of garbage anyways.
Go date the fucking normal way.

>>18020500
Tell her you just wanna bang. Get that fwb status, then when the good chick comes back tell her you're gonna be starting a relationship so your casual shit has to end.
If she agreed to a casual fuck buddy relationship, this ending should be somewhat expected.

>>18020679
I like dresses or longer skirts and modest clothes in general. Jeans are good too when its cold. I don't like those UGG brand boots or whatever (Are those even still in style?) as well as anything that shows a lot of cleavage.
Sweaters are adorable as fuck

>>18020798
Ok long answer short (and sorry to be another one of "those guys") but just go ask her out! She may even appreciate your honest awkwardness!!

Alternatively if you want to build up to it then think of a few things you used to talk to her about and start by bringing them up. Say you missed talking to her and ask for her number. You could be in luck! It's way easier to ask someone out by text but it's insencere, you can get away with it if you're young I guess though..
Try to be confident though and honest, have a small chat, say it's nice to see her and ask if she'd like to meet up or hang out.

>>18020453
Stop talking. If she doesn't start talking, go in for the kill.

If there's ever a lull in conversation, and she's looking you straight in the face, then take the chance. If she didn't want to kiss you, she probably would be silent and being within kissing range of you. Typically when a conversation goes quiet, and the other person just genuinely doesn't know what/how to start it back up, they aren't gonna look you in the eye.
If she's looking you in the face, she's probably ready to go.

>>18020679
oh, I also like girls who wear comfy relaxed dress pants, like 90's casual dress pants, generally with slip sandals or something similar, woven sandals maybe... ehh.. no makeup too

>>18020810

I don't really know how..

Where I live it's mostly just all Family suburbs and shopping centers. I don't really see people my age (25).

>>18020383
Your phrasing was bad.
"What happened happened so just forget it"
You did something wrong, but you never apologized. Just told her to forget about it.
I think you should privately approach her with it one more time and just explain "Hey, I just wanted to say I'm still feeling kind of wrong about what happened, and the last time I talked to you about it I phrased it poorly and didn't get across what I wanted to. Basically, I just want to actually apologize for what happened, I messed up and I really am sorry. I would like to put it past us and continue to be friends though, if you think you can do that."
Something like that. But seriously, use the words "I'm sorry."

Depending on how badly you "scared" her, assuming it was borderline rapey given the situation, she may or may not ever be able to see you the same way. That is kind of a major red flag, intoxicated or not. So you're gonna have to be ready to accept this chick may not ever be close to you again, or at least as close as you were. She might forgive you though and move past it too. But sounds like you've just still got a guilty conscience, which is understandable, and the only way you're gonna mend that is formally apologizing.

>>18020805
Thanks for the insight, it might be because she's thinking about it. When we started "dating" she was seeing another dude but cut contact with him a week after. I've been told they were pretty close (had sex) but never kissed outside of it. We see each other pretty often as we study the same major and have pretty much the same circle of friends, but she's out of town every weekend so it's getting complicated having time one on one.

>>18020801
Thanks, had to google scrunchies, didn't know what it was

>>18020739
>>18020813
Thanks

>>18020821
slide sandals* rather

My girlfriend and I haven't had sex together before. She said she wants to wait for the right moment, but I just feel like it's never going to happen.

I love this girl, but I feel like being fully intimate is a healthy part of any relationship, and I feel like our relationship is starving from it. I just feel frustrated and even unwanted sometimes, but I don't want to lose this girl, she means everything to me.

How the hell do I bring this up in a conversation without making things awkward

>>18020828
Well then accept you're using a faulty system that's rigged against you mate.
Or just keep hounding those 10/10s you see on tinder until one of them thinks of you as a 10/10 too.

>>18020814
I have a few conversation ideas buzzing around in my head, such as asking about her new classes. We do know each other, but I worry about being too forward. My plan was asking her for her number after we chatted a couple times, but I like to be pretty traditional and want to ask her out in person by suggesting we hang out sometime.

Most importantly, I don't want to lock up and force a conversation out of nervousness while she becomes increasingly uncomfortable. That's happened to me a couple times, though it may just because they weren't interested in the first place. I know its something that needs practice but I can't really do that right now.

>>18020835
I feel ya, college is difficult in terms of time. But honestly, if you're not seeing each other one on one much idk how you call yourself dating. It's not really dating if you're part of a group all the time.
Regardless, work together to see if you can block out more time for real dates. If you want something serious, then you should both be willing to try and work something out.

>>18020838
You have a problem within your relationship, it's gonna be a little awkward no matter what, but it's necessary to resolve the issue.

I always say on these threads regarding problems within a relationship, the fix is to say everything you just said to us, but to her.
Just talk about it. You might ask if she has any idea what the "right moment" is. Does she have an ideal situation? Is there anything at all you can do to put her in this situation? Is the "Waiting for the right moment" crap just code for "I'm not ready and too scared, but I don't want to tell you that because then you might leave me since there's no telling when I will feel ready"? (protip: I'm about 100% sure it is.)

But tell her what you're feeling too. Tell her you feel undesired, frustrated, that you love her and want to be with her, but it's hard not being able to express those feelings the way you think you should.


But, another couple questions that may or may not help me help you
1.) Is she a virgin?
2.) Do you engage in any other sexual activity, IE are you on 3rd base at least?

>>18020809
>then you might get back into bad old habits and end up getting screwed over by it.
This is what I'm mostly worried about

When I ran into her, we talked for a good 10 minutes and the whole time I could tell she was really flustered/anxious since she always bites her lip and fixes the hair by her ears when she has something to say but won't say it, so i don't know what she wants out of this, if anything.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't acting the same way since when I saw her everything stopped and all I could think was "oh...great"

I'm just gonna bite the bullet and hang out with her.

Guys and girls i guess.

i'm a male, 27 years old, i've always been the kind of guy that people like, because i'm quite funny, trustfull, good listener and overall, i'd humbly say that i'm a nice person but... i feel like... people like me, but don't need me much, i feel very lonely lately, i NEED people to be happy, tonight for exemple, all my friends are either with their gf/friends or travelling around the world, living far away and i'm sitting on my chair, telling you about my life, i'm very bored and a bit melancholic.
My question is, what can i do, what can i say to make myself more needed (and not just to help for a favor or something) by people ? i can litteraly spend multiple weeks without speaking to anyone, people just keep going with their busy life and hang out with their friends, i feel like i'm kind of a second choice, as a partner and as a friend and this hurt me a lot.

Is there something wrong with me ? Or this is just the way life work when you're an adult ?
I have hobbies but honestly, it's always better when i can share them with my friends, unfortunately i don't have many friends who's interested in what i like or do (travelling, motorbike, horseriding, stuff like this).

i hope you'll be able to help me figure what's wrong in my situation, thanks for reading.

>>18020839

I don't expect 10/10s, I don't even expect 8/10s.

But I don't know what else I can really do Tbh. I got rid of Tinder, that shit was garbage, and was fucking with my self esteem. Where I live is mostly rich people, it's all family oriented. It's rich suburb after suburb.

>>18020868
Idk the answer really, because I'm the same way. I almost never get the first text, hardly anyone ever intitates with me, at best they might start the conversation with me when we first meet, but from there on out, I ALWAYS have to be the one to start the conversation. Make the plans. Take them out.
It sucks, I feel ya. You feel like they could care less if they see you or not, but since you offered they might as well.
Only thing I can say is just keep meeting and making as many friends as possible. Maybe one day there will be SOMEONE who wants to talk to you and spend time with you as much or even more than you want to spend time with them. It's a numbers game, odds are it's gotta happen eventually.

>>18020876
Idk then man, you don't seem to have the resources or like the solutions you've got. Go hit up every single 8-10/10 you meet. One will come around eventually.
If you feel like there's nobody around where you live, then move. I'm assuming you still live with your parents or something, since idk how a 25 year old got rich enough to afford to live in such a place that quickly.

How many guys ACTUALLY like tomboys/less feminine girls?

>>18020878
meh, i know what you mean but that's kind of sad, because it's assuming that almost all people are selfish cunt... oh wait...

Asking women who work retail.
Would you be impressed if a guy (customer) whipped out a bunch of hundreds but tried to not make it obvious i was showing off?

>>18020900
Nope. I'd assume he was some sort of drug dealer or something if he was in his late teens/20s, because people that age don't carry around wads of cash like that. And I shouldn't have to say this, but drug dealers don't impress me.

>>18020890
Hey I like em as long as not an extreme. I.e. very fat or very ugly or extreme boy hair cut etc. Tbh having a gf with male tendencies would be boss

>>18020882

>I'm assuming you still live with your parents or something, since idk how a 25 year old got rich enough to afford to live in such a place that quickly

That's accurate. I do live with my mom, although I could afford to live on my own (I have a fulltime job), I'm paying my way through school which is stupidly expensive. I'll be moving in probably 3 years due to my potentional career. But, I'm so busy with working fulltime and studying I don't really have the ability to move now.

I'm trying to not sound like I'm whining. I mean, I guess it's not the end of the world if I go a few more years without girls. But, sometimes I think it'd be nice to have a 6-7/10 girlfriend to spend some time with during the week

>>18020801
>>18020813
>>18020821
Not her but so much of that is incredibly unflattering on me, and probably a lot of girls who aren't rectangular

If you found out a guy used to date a ladyboy when he lived in SEA for 5 years, would that be a turn off?

>>18020947

faggot

>>18020932
As long as it fits you well (not too big or small) and modest, then you're fine.

>>18020906
What if you could tell by my clothes that i was a manual laborer. Also tall and not fat

When I go to the clothing optional beach with my GF, should I ask her before I go naked?

>>18020890
Less than 20%.

>>18020679
DRESSES! Especially the ones that make you look like a princess.

Guys:is wearing chokers at all a red flag? People say they are but I don't think i'm the stereotype? I just want to be aware of assumptions people will make.

I like dressing in retro bell bottoms style so i have a thin plain velvet choker i love to wear. i don't wear much makeup at all besides lipstick and some thin eyeliner. Obviously i wouldn't wear this to a job but I do wear it around town. Also i don't sleep around or do drugs. But I have some friends that do.

>>18021073
Pavlov dog response in men as a blackbelt in cocksucking

>>18021073

It looks slutty as fuck.

I don't like it

>>18021080
Omg are you serious? I just thought it was pretty! Fuck that is gross. Eh. Anyone who knows me knows that i don't do that stuff. I also have a good relationship with my mom and dad.

>>18021073
It does look pretty slutty.

>>18021091
That's actually a good thing. If you don't suck cock, that's a negative. If you give head like a pro, that's always a plus.

Any 30+ year old guys here who want to settle with a woman and be a father, but still can't find the right one?
I'm with a doctor's degree in engineering, I think I'm pretty decent looking. Could use advice.

>>18021143
yes. you should have no trouble finding guys like this. the real difficulty you will face is trying to find one that you are attracted to.

>>18021158
Oh I only now realized this can be interpreted as if I'm a woman. I'm a dude.

>>18021172

Haha, funny that. The answer would be the same one Anon already gave you: Yes, just find one you want to stay with and that wants to stay with you.

>>18021143
31, only child, live alone, been ready to marry for a long time now, been years without a gf, no date, nothing. it gets old.

>>18021179
It just seems like no matter how hard I try it doesn't work. I'm 35 and all my ex-girlfriends are married, really depressing.

>>18021190

No one said it would be easy.

>>18020604
Tell her who it is and what the convo is about

>>18021073
only retarded faggots on 4chan say it's a red flag.

it's an aesthetic. It's cute, sexy, whatever you want it to be based on your personality and the rest of your outfit.

It's like saying dyed hair is a red flag. It's a meme only idiots truly believe.

If you like something then do it. Fuck everyone else. Do you.

Girls, why are you sexy from HAIR to FEET?

>>18021208
foot fag wanting hobbit sex.

>>18021213
I don't get the reference, but I'm talking about head hair, not body hair.

Do girls ever actually post personals for one night stands?

Test

Girls: would you like a guy driving a sports car, or a nice sedan?

Girls and guys

I was just having a conversation with my female supervisor about just relationships and stuff. She was saying how looks are important, but personal qualities are more important, like being good at home, being responsible and other stuff like that. It really made me think.... is there any reason why I should waste my time with girls at all? I mean, I'm not going to get married, and I'm not going to reproduce. So why should I even bother dating and that whole game?

>>18021040
Could you post pictures?

>>18021040
>DRESSES! Especially the ones that make you look like a princess.
You mean lolita dresses?

>>18021235
Because it's nice to have someone to love who loves you back. Also getting laid. If you want that, go for it. If you don't, then don't.

>>18021231
Personally I don't care what he's driving so long as it runs lol.
I guess the sedan though? I never really cared for sports cars. They're just cop magnets anyway.
>>18021235
If you're not gonna get married or ever want to settle down with a single person potentially forever, then no. There's no point in dating. Just get yourself a handful of fwb's like everyone else.

My girlfriend asks me if she can ask me something important, and then when I reply she says it's nothing.

I really want to know what it was, how do I get her to tell me?

File: cute-dresses-for-women-2.jpg (96KB, 550x704px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 550x704px

>>18021270
>>18021284
Pic related is a good example.
Finding pics of women in cute dresses is more difficult than I expected.
If you search Taylor Swift casual dress, you'll find some good examples.
>You mean lolita dresses?
Those are a little too much.

>>18021318
>tfw never had gf
This would irritate THE FUCK OUT OF ME!

>>18021349
You've never had one?

>>18021351
Single for 29 years. Do you know this suffering?

>>18021354
Look on the bright side though. At least you don't have to deal with her asking you if she can ask you something and then when you say yeah, she just says.
>Nevermind, it's nothing

>>18021354
Why don't you just ask a girl out?

>>18021365
Because they don't find me attractive. There are girls who kiss everyone on the cheek (as greeting) but me.

>>18021365
Not that anon and not a KHV but you just start to build up in your mind your inferiority, which you then start to rationalize as nobody being worth your time, which hits your echo chamber brain and makes you double down on the belief that you're not worth anything anyways, which makes your TRIPLE down with the ultimate belief that your can't make anyone happy anyways and you need to sort your life out and you'll just be happier being alone

Or something like that

>>18021382
I feel ya bro. 22yo wizard apprentice here. Most I've had is a kiss and feel.norelatinships.not fortotal lack of trying

For women.
If i wore a big strapon dildo to make my wang look huge. Would you turn me down in bed when you found out it was fake, assuming the foreplay was good?

>>18021296
>>18021297

I'm not comfortable with casual sex Tbh. So maybe it is better if I'm just alone

>>18021398
>There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

Personally, big dicks are a turn off so I'd probably shoot you down immediately if I thought you had one.
But lets be real here, most women aren't going to be turning you down by your dick size in this scenerio, they're going to be turning you down because you had an insecurity on autistic levels about your dick size that you went to such cartoonishy extreme measures to try and trick them.

>>18021425
Ok then, you solved your own problem then. You don't want a serious connection with someone, and you don't want sex.
You don't really want any of it, so why are you asking? Just be alone, that's perfectly ok.

>>18021428
>why are you asking?

Societal pressures and biology can be a bitch

Guys with experience-

Have you ever done it with a chick who had some like, razor burn/bumps going on?
You know what that looks like right? If you saw it you wouldn't think it was an std would you?

I fucked up and went against my best judgement, knowing my pussy skin cannot handle hair removal, but did it anyway because I wanted to be sexier. Now I've got the little red dots on the follicles peppered across the top. He's not gonna think it's herpes or something right?

>>18021561
I think it's trashy looking but I'm not retarded so I know it's not herp

>>18021575
Do you prefer shaved pussies? lol
Just wondering

>>18021561
You can tell the difference unless you're retarded, but it is unappealing desu senpai

Girls:

I have an on-and-off casual thing with a chick. I like her, she likes me, but we're all passion and no love so it would never work out as a relationship.

Anyway she got in touch with me last week and wanted to go back to being on, which I wouldn't have a problem with since I'm single at the moment, except that we met up to catch up and she has packed on the pounds in the year since I last saw her.

I am legitimately no longer attracted to her.

Don't want to be a dick about it, how do I tell her that I'm not interested in picking things back up? She already knows I'm single and I admitted that I'm not pursuing anyone at the moment either.

>>18021561
I recommend waxing (expect it to hurt) or getting laser (also hurts as they increase the power)

>>18021561
Wouldn't scare me off, my skin is pretty sensitive to a close shave too so I know exactly what razor burn looks like. I would appreciate the effort though.

But if your skin is too sensitive to shave consider removing it some other way or leaving it or just going for a really close trim with hair clippers.

>>18021667
This. I'm a dude I use hair clippers to get it really short. I could never take the razor to my sack lol.

>>18017652
I'm in the exact same boat as you anon. I was in a year long relationship which ended six months ago and until two weeks ago I hadn't had sex since then due to me not being a social person/don't want to talk to fucking idiots who I just want for sex. I solved it by having sex with my long time friend who is also a girl. If You have any girls that are friends maybe try have sex with them you never know.

>>18021672
Always found the sack to be pretty easy to shave actually. The skin is so soft that the razor almost never bites in.

Pretty hard to get a good shave with no missed spots though.

>>18021365
Because it's easier said than done, especially when you have little experience. I meet very few women in my life, so any women I approach I'm not very familiar with generally. So I tend to be more anxious, and much more likely to put my foot in my mouth.

Are there any over 30 women here? How has your perspective on dating changed over the years?

>>18021676
Dayum maybe I'll try again as I have nicked my sack a few times with hair clippers haha not cool

>>18021143
How tall are you?

>>18021662
I can't afford either of that shit lol. Especially since my hair is back within like, 10 hours. I'd be going every damn day to maintain it.
I've looked into lazer though, one day when I can drop a grand without being homeless after. Only thing that concerns me about it is while most men prefer shaved, I'd hate to get it done and then end up with a dude who doesn't.

Wax also doesn't give me good results anyway. I get like rashes/burns no matter what kind of wax I'm using. Theres just no good way for me to remove the hair, I only do it in order to appeal to men, but unfortunately my puss just don't wanna be smooth. I'd basically given up on it, but met a new dude recently and I really wanna keep him around so I figured I'd give it another try.
Suppose I'm just gonna have to risk losing him.

>>18021667
As explained above, there really isn't any way for me to remove the hair without some sort of side effect. I just tried it again for shits and grins thinking "Oh maybe it'll be different this time?"
Normally I just keep it trim. But I don't seem to pull guys who like anything except completely smooth, not even a single stray hair. They tolerate the trimjob, don't get me wrong, but they don't like it.

>>18021692
Sorry to hear that. As someone who has a 100% preference for bare women I don't want to work against my own interests here, but you shouldn't feel compelled to remove the hair to impress men. As you say, they will put up with the trim job and if it really causes you this much annoyance I doubt any of them would /expect/ you to be shaving.

>>18021734
Yeah, but given it's just a fwb type relationship, I can easily get dropped for better looking women. It's not like there's any emotional attachment to keep them around.
Yeah, they don't expect me to, but I just want to give them every reason to not drop me.
Cuz fuck I can't stand being alone again.

>>18021741
See if he'll pay for the laser then. He gets what he wants, you get what you want, and as far as I know the initial cost is more like $250 than a thousand, at least around here. Of course there's upkeep sessions but over all I think it works out cheaper than wax.

>>18021748
It's around a thousand, often a little more, when everything's said and done.
You have to do like 5-6 sessions of it, and it is NOT recommended at all to skip any of them. People have said that's how you get the horrific scaring and shit.

>Ask him to pay for it
>Ask a dude to pay for one of his many fwb's lazer hair removal
I think that would be asking him to dump me faster lol. The whole point was he could get another chick to fill my time slot at the drop of a hat as is if he wanted to. He's not dating me so he's certainly not going to spend any money on me. Dude won't even buy me a beer lol.
He's the one that will actually go down though so I'd realllllly like to keep him lol.
But yeah, I'll just have to do what I can. If he doesn't like the razor burn then he'll have to put up with the trim job, or just dump me all together. It's just ridiculously hard for me to find men that are interested in me firstly, and then of those small handful of guys that I'm also interested in. In all my years of looking, I've only found the 2 I'm with right now. I feel like I need more though, since they've both got other women to screw and can't always make time for me.

>>18021426
So hypothetically if you thought i had a thin 5 incher you would be turned on? Do they even make dildos that size

When I complain or vent to my boyfriend sometimes, I feel like he doesn't really take me seriously, and it's starting to make me really angry.

For example, I haven't been sleeping well lately. I have to be up for work in 3 hours, and I'm so fucking angry that I can't sleep. I texted my boyfriend about it, and he said, "Just think about next Friday. ;)" (We'll be seeing each other then).

Like, I'm not overreacting am I? I'm really frustrated that I can't sleep, and he just takes it so lightly and jokes about seeing me.

How do I bring this up and talk about it with him?

>>18022081
It sounds like he's just trying to ease the tension. It's difficult to know what to say to someone that's pissed off.

>>18021660
Just tell her that you've gotten really busy with life and that you don't have time for casual flings.

If that doesn't work, tell her that you're having some issues with your family (great grandma died, ect) and you need to be there for them.

I've been close friends and flirty with this girl for a while. Wanted to ask her out when I saw her next, but got a bit too emotionally invested before that.

She's got a lot of guy friends. No guy experience, though.
Now there's a guy on the other side of the country. Pretty sure he's interested since he keeps telling her how he loves her, but she's creeped out by it and insists he's just a good friend.
Now she's staying over at his place since he lives really far away and staying just for the day would be a waste of time. A few days back she was still talking about how she corrected people they were friends, but I'm having a hard time buying that now and it's killing me.

There's nothing between us either at the moment, but I feel betrayed. Asking details could make me look pathetic and end whatever chance I have, but it's killing me. Should I?

>>18022090
I do get that, like he's trying to lighten the mood a little, but it's kind of frustrating when he doesn't even really try to be there for me.

>>18021603
Late reply but nope. A tactical trim is nice but I reiterate: nothing wrong with Bush