Boyfriend's sexual history

I'm a dude and even I think having had sex with 70, 80 girls by your mid-20s is pretty gross.

Sounds like he just fucks anyone, and I personally don't date people with such low standards. Says a lot to me about how they think about themselves and others.

Do what you will, obviously. Just saying that I don't you're insecure for or there's anything wrong with you for having reservations about the kind of sexual history he's describing.

lower your expectations i guess? or find someone better.

I'd feel dusgusted too if a girl in her mid 20's burst out saying sumn like that to me. What you feel is usually the truth, if you feel disgusted, it's disgusting, if you feel ashamed, it's shameful, etc.

You don't have to fall for a good guy/bad guy meme, just internalize how you feel, and imagine that it's something you can overcome, if you can't, you gotta move on.

At this point though, you'd probably feel guilty leaving, but nothing is above your peace of mind, if your ability to forgive is tested daily, it's gonna hurt.

Without wanting to sound condescending, just grow up. As in literally, this stuff becomes so unimportant as you reach your late 20s. It's a young adult thing to be concerned about it.

Also, why would you feel less than his previous partners since he stayed with you and didn't stay with them?

>>18017352
I don't think he fucked landwhales and meth addicts. He's really good looking and charming. I mean, sometimes when we're out together girls hit on him, in front of me.
He had never been in a relationship and just kind of constantly fucked around since he was 16. He stopped when he was 23, and we started dating when he was 24.

>>18017361
I don't think there is someone better, honestly. He's awesome - both as a partner and as a person. He's kind, smart and interesting. We spend all our free time together and I never get bored.
I don't think he did something inherently bad, or wronged me in any way. I just feel gross and dirty, and insecure. There's something wrong about me, not about him.

>>18017374
Are you looking for advice then, or just a place to vent? Seems to me like you got all the answers you need. Either suck it up or move on. Both are difficult.

>inherently bad
bruh
wouldn't be here unless it was bad.

>>18017372
I know it's bullshit, I hate myself for hating it.

>why would you feel less than his previous partners since he stayed with you and didn't stay with them?
Because I am average in looks and relatively inexperienced sexually. Knowing I have so much competition makes me feel inadequate. I keep wondering if I'll ever be enough for him, or if he'll eventually leave to fuck around again.

Rationally, I know it doesn't make sense.

>>18017379
I am looking for advice on how to suck it up and stop being so insecure about it.
I don't want to dump him, I don't think he's a horrible person just because he fucked around, I love him a lot like I did two days ago.

>>18017346
Why feel 'less'? He dumped them all in favor of you ... If anything you should feel 'more' .. you're gf/wife material .. they obviously was not

>>18017386
Has he done anything to make you doubt his commitment to you? How does he react when other girls hit on him?

Think about it. He gave up fucking as many people as he wanted to have sex with you instead. He waited to make sure it was love, not lust. He could have sex with anyone else, but chose you. Just remind yourself that to him, you're beautiful and important.

>>18017346
Look at it this way. He had enough comparison shopping to know what he wanted to choose and he chose you.

That means you won and the other 70-80 girls lost.

>>18017390
He changed a year before we met, I wasn't even in the picture. Probably he wouldn't even have noticed me 4 years ago (and this makes me fucking sad).

>>18017391
No, never. He's faithful and honest, and it's one of the things I like more about him.
After our 2nd date, he flirted with a bartender while drunk. He confessed, quit drinking to avoid any future accident and apologised.
He doesn't talk to any other girl other than his sisters and his mom.

He ignores them or rejects them.

>>18017393
>>18017395
That's right.
It just feels awful to know that he shared some of what we have with... every hot girl available?

>>18017416
Because of what he went for then vs after he changed ...

>>18017423
Yes.
I'm average looking - I have a cute face, I'm in shape, but that's it. I'm not impressive or super hot.
I know he likes me because of my personality and because we're really compatible intellectually, but it still feels like I'm not good enough.
Pretty stupid and emo teenager worthy, I guess.

It's something that you're going to have to accept what he has done and learn to move past it because at the end of the day, he chose to be with you and none of the other girls matter anymore.

Move forward rather than look back

>>18017432
70-80 people don't matter anymore..

gotta wonder bro, that is an incredible failure rate.. in ones mid 20's.

i dunno, just keep your eyes open OP.

>>18017430
That, girl, is all in your head .. not much advise can do to change it. Still I would say 'let it go and enjoy the ride' ..

>>18017435
I know I have already said this, but this is my problem and not his. Really. He is the most amazing boyfriend one could ever possibly want, and I am so fucking lucky to be with him.

3 months after we met I got sick. He dropped university for a semester to care of me. He sat by my side on the bathroom floor for entire nights, cleaned vomit off my face and held me in his arms when I was cold.
He has always been the most compassionate, kind and loving boyfriend one could wish for.
I feel like shit for being insecure. I feel horrible for not being a decent girlfriend and just accept who he was when I am so in love with the person he is today.

There is nothing wrong with him. I wish I could just not care and move past it.


>>18017438
Yes, I know it's all in my head. I just want it out of my head.

>>18017346
Wow. 80 is kind of crazy. BUT. Obviously fooling around isn't as important to him as being with you. Never forget that. It's okay to have insecurities in a relationship, everybody has them. But whatever you do, don't let them control your relationship. Trust him and give your all. If he fucks that up, then you know what to do. I understand your concern, but really, trust is the key word here. Not trust in the 'cheating' sense, but 'trust/have faith in your relationship.'

>>18017458
Does he know that you feel this insecure about this? Would daily affirmations help? My boyfriend had to finally yell at me that I am the best he has ever had. That made me got over that real quick

>>18017458
Well, he does sound pretty considerate, hmm, good for you.

>>18017461
Thank you. That was nice to read.

>>18017476
He just mentioned it to me a couple of days ago.

I actually read a post on here and mentioned it to him, something about high number of partners and divorce rate. He replied "then we should never get married, since I fucked 80 girls we're going to get divorced the second we walk out of church".
I knew he fucked around when he was younger, he was very open about it from the beginning, but when someone says that you imagine something like 10, not something like 80.
We didn't talk about it much because I am horribly uncommunicative when I get anxious, and I was feeling really anxious about my body and my skills in bed.
I am scared he'll lie just to make me happy. Even if he never lied to me before.

>>18017495
The problem I see here is not the amount of people he fucked but the fact that you feel inadequate due to not having that much of a sexual history.

Funny thing is (and it makes feminists scream), not having that much experience as a woman is actually more attractive than having had a lot.

Why are you so intent on making this your fault somehow, OP? And why are so many of you telling her it is?

Let's be clear. 70-80 sexual partners is a lot. Period. Regardless of how long you've been sexually active, how desirable you are, whatever. Most open minded 50 year olds wont have slept with 70-80 people. He'd definitely being in the top like 3% of people in terms of number of sexual partners they've had. And he's not so far removed from this behavior that it's wholly unreasonable to have reservations.

Yes, the past is the past, but it's still part of who that person is. I'll put it this way: all things being equal, if there was another version of your bf with all the same redeeming qualities who HADN'T slept with 70-80 people, it sounds to me like you'd prefer that version.

tl;dr You are not insecure. You are very sane to wonder and worry about this, and anyone telling you "Grow up", "get over it" or whatever is on some "I don't like being judged/held accountable for my actions! Why shouldnt I be allowed to have my cake and eat it too" nonsense.

Your feelings are yours. Be nicer to yourself and trust them. There will enough shit he does that other people would be bothered by that won't phase you, so when something clearly triggers you, at least consider that there might be something to it.

>>18017539
Probably, yes. I just feel undesirable physically and not all that good in bed. I feel like he's settling in our relationship.
I never had tons of guys lusting after me, and I definitely never fucked around all that much. I always was a huge nerd, and just the lamest girl ever.
I never cared about fucking around, I honestly have been attracted sexually to 3 guys in 25 years, and had sex with two.

>>18017555
Because it is my fault!
I am feeling like shit for something he did before we even met, and that he stopped doing because he changed his mind on the topic. He has never gave me a sign of not deserving my love or trust, and he's been an awesome boyfriend.
Sure, I would prefer if he never fucked around. But you can't choose the traits your SO has, I should be able to love his past because I really love the person he is today.

He fucked around a lot, of course. Not negating that.

so is this guy like chad hemsworth or what

>>18017607
It's sounds like you may have more generalized anxiety issues here, which is different than the reasonable concerns about a partner based on their past history that I'm talking about.

Am I off target with that assessment?

>>18017692
Kind of, yeah.
6'3", fit but not ripped, handsome face, dark hair, green eyes, perfect smile, deep and sexy voice. And a very charming and likeable personality.

My grandma told me that if I don't marry him, she will. Both my parents love him.

>>18017714
I don't have concerns about him.

I'm not extremely anxious, no. I'm overall pretty stable.
I've always been a bit insecure, mostly about my body, but nothing tremendous.
I'm not a jealous person, I handle my life pretty well, sociable even if introverted.

>>18017562
>I just feel undesirable physically and not all that good in bed. I feel like he's settling in our relationship.
That's stuff that is in your head

> I honestly have been attracted sexually to 3 guys in 25 years, and had sex with two.
When I was 25 I had only ever had sex with two people. If I'm in love I just don't notice other men. Then I experimented a bit but at 31 years I still have only had sex with 6 people which isn't that much considering the usual crowd (I mean people that don't post on 4chan).
You're fine, seriously.

>>18017346
Why is this just coming up now? Two years is a long time to be seeing someone and not know that they were a legit manwhore literally right up until they started dating you.

He can't seriously have thought it would not potentially be an issue, so "it just never came up" would be a dubious explanation to me. I mean, I've had partners with past substance abuse issues that put that shit out their sooner than that.

>>18017738
I never asked the number, and we don't frequently talk about past sexual experiences. Like, it happened maybe 3 times in 2 years.
He told me he fucked around and he had never dated seriously, I just assumed something like 8 or 10 or something, not half of my town.

>>18017735
I guess so.
I mean, I don't even feel like experimenting. I'm mildly grossed out by casual sex in general. It's just really beyond my comprehension.

>>18017352
if he was into pickup shit it doesn't mean he fucked anything, it could just be that he tried to get laid alot

>>18017763
So why was this time different? What prompted a specific disclosure of exactly how many partners he's had as opposed to a vague "I fucked around"?

>>18017774
I was laying with my head on his lap and I was shitposting on here. I was reading to him comments I found funny or interesting, I read something about the divorce rate/sexual partner count study and he said that we should never get married because since he fucked 80 girls we'd divorce the second we walk out of the church.

>>18017716
wow literally me except 5'7" and khv haha

>>18017782
I am OP. My ex boyfriend was your height - I'm 5'7 myself and I think it's pretty nice to be the same height as your partner.
Don't worry about it too much.

>>18017781
Ok. Now be honest.

How much of your concern is simply the number of previous partners he's had, how much of your concern is the fact that you just had this bombshell casually dropped on you two years into the relationship like it meant nothing, and how much of your concern is the what his past behaviors spell for the long term survival of the relationship given exactly the kind of aggregate data you were reading about how # of previous partners affects relationships?

>>18017346
this is why i maintain a "dont ask, dont tell" policy when it comes to a partners body count. as long as said partner is clean and free of stds, im satisfied. i dont want to know how many guys shes fucked for obvious reasons, and i dont want to make her feel like op is feeling now.

>>18017555
>70-80 sexual partners is a lot. Period.
so what? what does that imply? Why would that be a problem in itself?
>sounds to me like you'd prefer that version
ponder you had a bf/gf. If there was a version of your bf/gf who was perfect in every possible way, would you prefer that version? Yes? FUCK MAN YOU BETTER LEAVE YOUR BF/GF RIGHT NOW
>worry about this
worry about what exactly? What is the problem?
>trust your feelings
When your feelings are just fear based off feeling inadequate, why the fuck would you act on them?
>at least consider that there might be something to it
WHAT WOULD IT BE?

this is the dumbest, most self-righteous piece of garbage I've read in weeks

>>18017809
Fuck off with you're "if it's not happening RIGHT NOW then it doesn't matter" bullshit. You're like that person that is surprised when their partner who cheated on everyone they've been with before cheats on them.

That would be a dealbreaker for me. Just the idea of how much time and energy a guy with somewhat normal looks would need to put in to bed so many women at that age... That's a very sobering and off putting realization. I wouldn't want my romantic partner to be THAT hung up on casual sex.

>>18017808
So denial.

Cuck.

>>18017821
virgin detected

Sad!

>>18017802
I am a bit shocked, yes. 80 is a pretty huge number, and it is something I can't relate at all. Which is rare, because we're really similar in many ways and it feels weird when we're different in some way.
I don't think he'll be unfaithful, and our relationship this far has been pretty strong. He's really in love with me, everyone in his family told me so. When I met his dad, he cried and hugged me, and thanked me for making his son happy.
It's just the number that bothers me, and inadequacy.

>>18017817
He is not normal looking. He's one of the most attractive guys I've ever seen in person. Truly handsome, extremely charming.

>>18017346
Not a lot to say, OP.

Some people would think nothing of this and it wouldn't bother them. For some people this would be a major point of concern or a potential dealbreaker. Think you need to just be honest about which type of person you are. It won't do the relationship any good for you to be dishonest with yourself about what you really want in a partner.

>>18017841
>He is not normal looking. He's one of the most attractive guys I've ever seen in person

Pics or it didn't happen.

>>18017841
Eh, if you don't have infatuation goggles and he's truly that handsome then that makes it at least a bit more understandable to me why his number is so high... I mean, still, I would pass, but I guess it comes with the territory. On top of him being a manwhore, if he's truly that hot be prepared to deal with being side eyed by other women and always knowing how many would be ready to take your place. You've only been together for two years, at some point the honeymoon phase will end, you won't be all over each other in public all the time, and you'll have to be able to deal with him getting a lot more attention as well as having had a lot more sexual interaction.
The question is, do you think he's worth all that because of what he offers you?

If so, I see no other choice but to do anything you can to make yourself okay with this. He will always have fucked all of those women. There is no point in dwelling on insecurity or feelings of disgust if you want to stay with him, so don't indulge them. Whenever they come up, tell yourself no and try to distract yourself.

I don't see a middle road between doing all you can to cope and move on, or dumping him.

>>18017841
>I don't think he'll be unfaithful

I mean, no one ever does until their partner cheats on them. Why would you be with them if you did, right? Doesn't mean it won't end up happening.

And with a history like his, statistically he's far more likely than most.

>>18017346
>OP catched the eye of a chad
>Chad goes beta and waits 5 months for pussy
>OP loses feelings for him

like pottery in motion

OP, are you sure he wasn't trolling? Maybe he was IRL shitposting, since you're so like-minded it's not that far-fetched.

Also OP, talk to him about it. It was when I opened up about my insecurities to my GF that I finally got over them, so go out of your comfort zone and tell him what you think, don't sugarcoat, if you think he's a manwhore, then just say so.

>>18017495
You are gonna have to rip that verbal bandaid off and tell him. It is the hardest thing you can possibly do until you've done it and this is coming from someone who wants to keep things within and deal with it silently.

I mean, if you can't talk to your best friend about something that is bothering you then what is the point

It took me like 5 years to learn this. My boyfriend usually knows to wait until I text him what is bothering me, if talking gives you anxiety

>>18017855
Yeah, no. Not going to post pics of my boyfriend on 4chan, I'm sorry.
He looks like a dark haired, green eyed Jake Gyllenhaal (or however you spell it).

>>18017867
I don't have half a doubt about how many girls would be ready to take my place. And we've never been all over each other in public, we're both reserved.

Ironically enough, I developed a small crush on him even before seeing how he looked like, and it was never the most important factor in my decision.
We started talking through emails for a school project, I loved his sense of humour and his intelligence and I couldn't sleep the night before meeting up with him. Then we met, I saw how he looked like and I'm pretty sure I had a "holy fucking shit" expression through all our lunch.

I think he's worth anything, he showed me nothing but love, respect and kindness since we met and I really loved our relationship.
I just want to cope with this and move on with our life.

>>18017873
He's not the type to cheat, really. He might had been a whore, but he is really honest.

>>18017876
Kek.
I didn't lose feelings. I love the shit out of him.

>>18017889
Yeah, he was serious. I asked him something like 10 times.
He changed a lot 3 years ago, he had a pretty rough couple of months and literally changed everything in his life - cut toxic friendship, stopped talking to abusive mom, got his master degree and applied for a doctorate, etc. I am a lot like the person he is now, but nothing like the person he was 4 or 5 years ago.
I should talk to him, probably I will. It's scary as fuck.

>>18017906
You're right. I'm just a shitty feelings talker, gives me huge anxiety to open up. I always say the wrong thing and hurt everyone.

Guy here. 5-6 previous partners is pretty much the most I'll put up with. Anything more and anything long term is out of the question

>>18017929
>He's not the type to cheat, really. He might had been a whore, but he is really honest.

"My guy is different!"

Maybe.

>>18017945
He rarely goes out if not with me, I always have to push him to hang out with his friends.
He doesn't drink or go to clubs.
He literally has 12 phone numbers in his phone, and I'm the only girl in it other than his sisters. He has zero problems with me going through his texts, his facebook, or anything. I have all his passwords, too.
He went a year and half without fucking, one year because he didn't meet someone he was emotionally invested in and 5 months just waiting for me to be ready to have sex with him. All of this while having girls throwing themselves at him.
He might cheat on me, I don't know, but I don't feel like he's untrustworthy.

>>18017941
Hopefully I can manage to not be like you.

>>18017929
You know, skills in bed are something that can be learned, right? That's a benefit of your position - his experience can be your teacher. Do you want to learn how to fuk gud? Ask him, I'm sure he'll be able to tell you. And really, if you're genuine about learning, he'll end up teaching you how to be the best lay he's ever had

>>18017965
And nothing about the fact that your boyfriend supposedly bedded 70-80 girls while simultaneously having almost no social life raises an eyebrow about the nature of all these past hookups?

>>18017998
He used to drink a lot, go out all the time, he had a lot of friends. He was even in a fraternity or something.
He changed a lot 4 years ago, dropped most of his friends and focused on his studies. He dropped drinking after we met.

>>18017981
It feels mildly gross to think about how he learnt.

>waited 5 months
>has fucked 80 girls
>"He'd never cheat on me"
>wat.jpeg

Did anyone not read the OP and thought this was strange?

>>18018012
Idk what to tell you then. He's fucked a lot of girls, but that should just show you that his decision to be with you is all the more meaningful. But if you can't deal, then break up with him, let him find someone that can look past his partner count, and try not to feel shitty if your next few relationships don't measure up to how much he was willing to invest in yours

>He said he had sex with 70, 80 other girls.

Well that certainly makes me feel better about my own slutty self.

>How do I stop feeling like I am "less" compared to his previous partners?

I promise that he didnt wait anywhere near 5 months for any previous girl. Likely, not even more than a week. So use that as a comparison as to how important you are to him. Enough to drastically change his lifestyle indefinitely. You're pretty damn cared for.

>>18018023
This OP honestly I've never waited that long on a girl. He fucking loved you before you ever had sex.

>>18018022
I don't want to sound like I'm a bitch, I really want to look past it and get over it. It's just new, and it is all a bit overwhelming.
I do feel really thankful for our relationship and don't want to break up.

>>18018023
I really doubt he ever waited more than a week, kek. He can be a really charming asshole, would convince everyone to do everything.

He really has been perfect to me, I don't have anything to complain about. Really.
He always made me feel really important for him, he was crazy about me from the very beginning. And even all the little mistakes he did, it was just by inexperience in relationship, you could tell it was out of love.
I feel even worse now, heh.

>>18017346
He is a whore. Quite frankly I'm surprised he and you don't have an STD. You're probably too good for him or he wants an easy lay so keeps coming back to you. Either way leave him and get on with your life. /Thread

>>18018066
I mean, he dropped out of school to take care of me before we even fucked.
He told me he was 100% sure he was going to marry me eventually on our 3rd date. He was just mental about me. I still don't understand why, but, hey.

>>18018088
I don't want to leave him, and I'm not too good for him.
And if he wanted an "easy lay" he would have fucked someone who didn't make him wait for months.

>>18018094
>who didn't make him wait for months
You're so sure he wasn't fucking around while "waiting" for you?

>>18017815
Why would this person have more of a reason to cheat than anyone else? Because he knows that he can get it? Keep in mind that this bloke waited for 5 months for OP without sex

>>18018119
Unless he's a sex ninja, yes.

For the first 3 months we spent 90% of our free time together, even just studying or minding our own business in the same room. We slept in the same bed pretty much every night since our 4th-5th date.
Then I got sick, and he moved in with me for 8 weeks while I was recovering to take care of me. And at that point we spent literally all the time together.
After 8 months we officially moved in together and we're still together most of the time.
I am staying at my parents for a couple of days because I am a bit shocked and I need alone time to cope with this shit.

And he didn't fuck around for the year before we met, either. So I don't see why he should stop fucking around, then meet me, then fuck around again just because fuck you.

I love how a dude fucks enough girls to fill a couple school buses worth of people and it's treated as endearing that he appears to have changed his stripes.

If this had been "my gf fucked 70-80 dudes" there would not be any of this "awwwwww, but she stopped for you!" bullshit.

>>18017346
Dump him and find a KV. There are more of them than you would think.

>>18018088
>You're probably too good for him

She's clearly not. Read the thread and it's abundantly clear that OP is some needy clinger who's willing to dismiss reprehensible behavior because she has low self-esteem and thinks she scored way over her head.

They're a classic dynamic; scumbag who now wants be treated like a special snowflake and girl dumb enough to do it.

>>18018073
>I feel even worse now, heh.

Don't

I don't know how you do it. My boyfriend was a kissless, handholdless virgin when I met him - just my type. If he had been with 80 women, I would've told him to never come back. More power to you I guess.

How is he not crawling with STDs? Also to be honest 1 year is not enough time to be sure someone has made a complete turnaround

there is no double standard, that is absolutely nasty

>>18018140
Hahaha ma nigga,
Well said. Also me again 18018088 check my dubz they command it

>>18018137
I have an admittedly limited dating experience, but virgins were the worst.
I dated 4 guys, 3 were virgins, 2 were 20+ virgins.
The 20+ virgins didn't care about me at all. They just wanted to lose their virginity. They cared about the fact that a girl gave them attentions more than they cared about me. They treated me poorly and pushed for sex constantly.
Overall awful, wouldn't do it again.

>>18018145
Because I know him as a person and know how great he is. You see the manwhore who fucked 80 girls, I see the guy who spent a week sleeping on a chair to stay in hospital with me or the guy who backpacked with me for a month and half.
I'd rather be with someone with a lower partner count, yes. I don't go after manwhores usually, no. But there's more to him than the people he fucked, and I know who he is, and I love who he is.

He doesn't have anything, anyway. Not even herpes. We got tested for everything and he's perfectly clean.
And he did his turnaround 3 years ago, never gave me a sign of being anything but faithful and loving.

>>18018155
Okay, that sucks for you. I'm engaged and I'll get to be the first and only pussy he's ever had. Nice virgin qts are the best

>>18018140
>They're a classic dynamic; scumbag who now wants be treated like a special snowflake and girl dumb enough to do it.

kek

>>18018161
Good for you, glad you are happy.

>>18018148
Yes, it is.

>>18018140
>She's clearly not. Read the thread and it's abundantly clear that OP is some needy clinger who's willing to dismiss reprehensible behavior because she has low self-esteem and thinks she scored way over her head.
Kek, you're right.

>>18017346
I'll tell you what I know, about a friend who is just like this, and spends his time dating and screwing a girl every week.

You may not like it, but this changing can be hardly true.
Having had this many girl, may or may not be actually a reason for him to just settle and remain happy with you.

But what if he misses the action some time?


Well this is just what I would worry about, but what I really know from my friend, is that he doesn't see fucking other girls as being unfaithful, he does it so many times he simply just doesn't care about what his girlfriend think or feel.
He pretexts that as long as he doesn't have feelings for them its no problem.
And she is actually naive enough to believe he is settling with her and doesn't meet other girls when he is not around her.

>>18017374
Typical female, he disgust you; but he is good looking so you cannot just let it go, there must be something wrong with you.
If my gf who is also good looking told me how she fucked 80 diffrent guys, i would tell her to fuck her self and that would be the end it.

>>18018233
I've repeated this 30 times this far. He is not cheating, and I am fairly confident he won't cheat any soon. I am not scared of him cheating.

He changed his behaviour way before we met, and he never did anything sketchy or weird this far.
Unless he is fucking hoes from the street, he doesn't honestly have the chance because we're together most of the time, and he doesn't talk to any other girl who isn't me or a relative.
He doesn't have social media, he texts with 3 people other than his family, he leaves his phone and laptop unlocked around me all the time.

>>18018248
I liked him before even knowing how he looked. I cannot just let it go because he's a great friend, partner and person, and because I invested 2 years of my life on him, and because he was by my side through all sorts of shit.
It's pretty reductive to think we're together just because he's hot. It's not the most relevant part of our relationship.

>>18018257
What's your worry exactly ?

If you're not worried about him cheating on you you may also have to face the facts he gets tired of your relationship and may want to end it some day.

>>18018481
I feel really insecure about my body and my skills in bed, like I'm less than the girls he had before.
I feel mildly disgusted by the fact that 80 other people kissed his lips, sucked his cock, or had his dick in them. I am not even jealous, just weirdly territorial. I suck at sharing.


I'm not extremely worried about the quality of our relationship. We're very happy together, I don't think he'll leave.

>>18018497
You don't sound very happy judging by the contents of your thread. There's no magic that will make you forget all of this, or will make you suddenly be ok with everything. You have to make a conscious decision to make the best of your relationship. You have all the facts in front of you. If that's not enough, nothing ever will.

>>18018012
You're a fucking idiot. The type of girl next door average doormat he is settling for due to having such a wild, drama infused party life up until he met you. Point blank, he is settling for you due to his age. Not sure if that spells that he will cheat or not, but it's only been two years. Come back after 6 and tell me you two are going strong.

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There's some high quality autism going on in this here thread.

>>18018576
I think it's the 10th time I repeat the same thing.
He didn't change for me. He changed a year before we even met, he stopped fucking around when he was 23.
How is 23 the age when you suddenly want to settle and make a family with the "next door average doormat"?

Maybe in 6 years we won't be together, I cannot know that, and neither can you.

>>18018566
I am happy with him.
I've been upset over the last 3 days, but it hardly defines who we are as a couple or as people.
I am lost and I don't know how to deal with it, that's it.

>>18018497
You're jealous, anon. Stop being autistic and take it for what it is. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. He never disclosed this to you (due to the skewed view he has of sex due to having it come to him so easy) in a way that showcased the seriousness of such actions. He literally fucked over 70 women. Did he have a sex addiction? Was he safe? Did he have STDs during that time? How did he treated the women he had sex with? Was there drama? These are legitimate questions to ask and worry about as they showcase his maturity, morality, coping ability and basic common sense. Stop concentrating on his looks. They will fade and he will be a sour bowl of codfish just like Johnny Depp is now. If you really want to be serious about him, ask yourself if he shows any signs of returning to those habits.

Also, I won't say that he will cheat, but you should know that anyone that familiar with sex and strangers bodies develops a kind of disassociation with the act. Likely he had sex that often for his own personal pleasure and ego, which means if he ever gets to a point where he needs his ego stroked or to feel that high again, he may fall back into it. Likely he left it because he oversaturated himself in it and needs a change; you. Whether or not this is what he really wants in the long run only time will tell. Don't be a fool, understand there is a risk and if he truly cares about you he will understand where you are coming from.

>>18017346
>70, 80 other girls

Im not going to say it's not possible, but it's whore tier levels.
Probably an exaggeration on his part.

>>18018597
>23
That's still 10 girls a year since he was 18,
or 6,2 girls a year since he was 15.

I doubt he started earlier than that, but he's full of shit anyway.

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>>18018597

You gotta stop arguing with the spergs. As a woman, this is a horrible place to come for advice. It doesn't matter what you say, they hate women so much they'll do any amount of mental gymnastics required to make this whole problem your fault. Give it a rest, dude. You're not going to get anywhere debating with these kids.

>I am lost and I don't know how to deal with it, that's it.

Either find a way to reconcile it or find a new boyfriend. Him and his past and won't change, the only thing that can change is you.

Perhaps its time you did a bit of soul searching and figure out why you feel so insignificant when, in all reality, every decision he's made proves how significant you are to him.

This is a problem you need figured out on your end, not his.

Seriously, maybe get some counseling or something. If time and perspective doesn't alleviate some of the insecurities you're having there are people out there specifically trained to help you. There is no mental exercise or self-help bullshit you can flip through to fix this problem.

You either crush it with your mind vice or hire someone else to help you crush it. Thats what all humans must do with their irrational thoughts and impulses.

>>18018605
Since he was 16-23 she said, which is roughly ten people per year. That's really not that much if you're single and partying all the time.

>>18018614
To me it's a lot.

I don't know how to find the time to break so many hearts, or the stomach to drink so much alcohol during several years!

You can't afford to have a dry spell more than like a month or so, or risk ending up with a lower average. In that age, you go to high school, and you have parents who force you to do shit, and maybe you have work, and studdies and college to go to..

Sometimes you have to go on a vaction with the family for a few weeks.. oh no. ... need to catch up with the score board.

I dunno how you would actually pull it off
.
If you do nothing at all on your spare time, except hunt on tinder, and go to some hookers then maybe, but how are you going to afford the hookers then?

>>18018603
He didn't have a sexual addiction. He was safe, I saw his blood tests from 2007 and they're all clean. He was upfront about his intentions and respectful. There was some drama, but not the "we had a kid" kind of drama.

I'm not concentrated about his looks, I just mentioned them to explain why he could get all those girls.

>Likely he left it because he oversaturated himself in it and needs a change; you. Whether or not this is what he really wants in the long run only time will tell. Don't be a fool, understand there is a risk and if he truly cares about you he will understand where you are coming from.
That makes sense.

>>18018612
THANK YOU. I so much needed to read this.
I'll call my therapist tomorrow and see how I can handle these thoughts decently.
You've been very helpful.

>>18018647
>t. supreme gentleman

>>18018614
No, dude, that's a lot. For most people, "partying all the time and fucking random girls" isn't a permanent lifestyle, that's some shit you do on a trip to Europe before you start a new job and get back to real life.

I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just saying you should at least recognize it's not "normal" behavior.

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>>18017346
You weren't a virgin when you fucked him for the first time, right honey? Then shut the fuck up.

>>18018658
No but common, it's unrealistic that it would actually work in practice.

>>18018647
>break so many hearts
what the fuck are you talking about, it's called casual sex, nobody gets their heart broken.
>the stomach to drink so much alcohol during several years
what even.
>You can't afford to have a dry spell more than like a month or so, or risk ending up with a lower average.
actually, you can't have a dry spell of less than a month without risking a higher average.
>I dunno how you would actually pull it off
that's obvious

>>18018664
You make it sound like you can walk up to a girl on the street and say "hey lets fuck" and it will work every time.

In reality, you would have to put in a lot of effort to actually have that much casual sex, including going to parties and getting drunk all the time, which would turn you into an beginning alcoholic at the age of 23.

>>18018680
Probably, it would also make you really fat.

>>18018680
No...actually, you just have to be hot and social, and bam! Girls will want to fuck you. I have a friend who goes to a lot of parties and he is just a little hotty, and he is constantly texting girls that wanted his number. Honestly though, he isn't stupid about it and makes it clear it's casual sex and such, and I can see him doing something similar to this situation in which he's going to find someone he likes and want to stop playing around and settle down with her. All these other chicks are just living life for him and enjoying what his looks get him.

>>18018660
He went out once or twice a month to bigger events to meet new girls, and every time he found a girl to fuck. One turned fwb, some stayed ONS.

When the opposite genders of this situation is posted, it's all 'kill the roastie whore'.

But I digress. OP, you can only know what will make you comfortable- personally I would try to move beyond it, but I'm not you.

>>18018698
>every time
Really?
Did he say that?

>>18018694
People are full of shit.

>>18017390
>Why feel 'less'? He dumped them all in favor of you ... If anything you should feel 'more' .. you're gf/wife material .. they obviously was not
If OP was a guy I'd be calling him a cuckold. This attitude of "wow you're the latest person they picked so you must be the best yet!" is a load of horseshit. If we follow that train of logic people who sleep around a lot should be finding progressively better partners and eventually end up with someone nearly idea for them, whereas a person with fewer partners would have a less matching partner themselves. We all know it doesn't work that way though.

>>18017346
u actually think he's fucked 70 girls? he is just saying that so you dont think hes a loser. its stupid enough that he waited for you to turn 18.

>>18018655
An older guy here. I guess you think you need to do something special to turn him on, since he's had so much experience and you did not. From the guy who is in love with his wife of 6 years, let me tell you that she does something special: she shows up in the room. That is all. Most normal guys are like that. We're easy.

He is not with you because of your "skills" in bed, and he won't leave you because of your lack of them. Probably those too "skilled" are not his cup of tea any longer, there is more attraction in innocence. It speaks of untarnished soul. The point is: He loves you as a person, insecurities and all.

>>18017346
Yeah knowing my boyfriend was a whore before me would bother me. Hell I'm pretty jelly about the 4 or 5 girls before me. Can't imagine how sucky it is having that number be 12 times bigger.

And I don't know what to tell you, I mean when these questions are brought up on this board most of the guys say to leave her but make sure you let her know she's a whore, or stop being a wuss and get over it.
I guess that could be an option....

>>18017346
I just posted but I forgot something
>C U C K
>U
>C
>K

>tfw managed to snag a perfect qt3.14 high school sweetheart bf

Threads like this remind me how fortunate I am. Thanks OP

>>18018711
Girls hit on him while we're out on dates.
I honestly don't have a super hard time believing that he didn't have huge problems with girls.

>>18019000
That's really sweet. Thanks.

>>18019014
I want to get over it, it's just hard to.
Leaving a person I see myself with for the rest of my life because he did something he thinks is wrong when he was in his early 20s seems silly.

>>18019018
I was surprised no one posted it yet. Thanks.

>>18019335
My ex boyfriend was my high school sweetheart, we dated for 6 years and it was a very happy relationship.
My friend's high school sweetheart cheated on her with a guy and gave her AIDS tho. So yeah.

this is bait
trying to prove /adv/ to be hypocrites about sexual history

too bad it's never the same posters you dimwit
so you're proving nothing buddy

>>18020179
All i see is a bunch of virgins and one attention whore talking about how awesome her fuckboi bf is.

Yes internet virgins have different standards than metrosexual hoes.

>>18020187
Haha I already told the bitch yesterday to dump her man whore bf yet she still goes on why? Idiocy attention whoring?

Id leave and never look back.

Yeah, people can change, I get it. But a person's past behavior is a good indicator of what their capable of.

I think your boyfriend clearly values sex differently than you do, and i think if it takes someone 80 (probably way more if he said 80 different girls) times to suddenly realize that they like sex for the emotional bond as well and decide to pursue a real connection, they might only be telling themselves that and not actually feel it. I think eventually he's going to grow tired of physical pleasure with one person and feel that he's missing out on what he clearly enjoyed doing. But for now he's going to tell you whatever he has to say for you to believe you're going to satisfy that desire. But hey, at least he was honest. He clearly does want a relationship because if he didnt he wouldn't have told the truth. He knew eventually you'd find out about his megaslutty past so he told you.

Just speaking from experience, people can change, but they usually don't. Hes likely looking for someone to tie down and have a relationship with to appear normal while also whoring his desires on the side.

He figured out what he liked before you, and he liked casual sex with different people and no attachments.

>>18019669
Lol we've been together more than 6 years at this point and are getting married, no cheating or AIDS. But sorry about those things.