Hi /adv/. I have a problem, a very stupid fucking problem I can't

>>18011600
Are you a cute boy?

>>18011600
Well you went from "I just want to hold hands" to "I wish I could fuck hot girls" in a couple sentences, so you could probably start with NOT having that mentality

>>18011604
>so you could probably start with NOT having that mentality
that's what I want to do, but I don't know how.

>>18011610
you would have to take stock of your values and possibly replace some.
we could try to find out what the underlying value is that keeps you stuck but you would have to try and dig deep and answer honestly

>>18011602
I get the impression from others I'm not bad looking, I'd say I'm a 7/10

>>18011614
So 5/10

>>18011610
Counseling. It sounds like you have a poor or misunderstanding of social norms and values

>>18011613
I see, I never thought to do that.
>>18011617
I don't have the money for counseling

>>18011621
so, do you want to do it? i'll walk you trough it...

first question you would have to answer is why it buggs you so much that you're a virgin. tell me only your personal reasons, not the commonly spewed ones

I was virgin until a few months ago (I'm 21). Being my senior year my only goals were to graduate, get a job and lose my virginity. The first two were looking fine but it seemed like I was doomed to be a virgin after college. Thankfully I met a girl on tinder that I lost my virginity to. Took a HUGE weight off my shoulders. There were times before then, especially the beginning of my senior year where I felt so awful, unattractive, unwanted and worthless romantically. The tinder girl and I fucked and had been seeing each other for about 3 months not official though.

From the other side but knowing where you've been I can tell you a few things
1. It isn't that big of a deal, but it also is. Sex, kissing etc are all nice but it isn't as big of a deal you make it to be, HOWEVER taking care of it will give you a sense of relief. I know it did for me.
2. Even if you date hot girls, get pussy, and whatever else you mentioned in your post, unless you address your personal issues you will still be miserable. In my case tinder girl recently told me she doesn't want to fuck me anymore. At first I thought man this sucks but I'll be ok, but it's really getting to me, along with my still general lack of success with women. Even though I'm much better off than I was 5 months ago, I'm still hurting from my insecurity.

Be proud that you are willing to ask girls on dates, I almost never flirt with girls (no wonder I've been so bad with girls). Keep at it and I suggest you read Models by Mark Manson. It changed my life

>>18011631
It bugs me so much because it makes me feel massively inferior to everyone, it pisses me of so goddamn much to hear someone say "yea sex is no big deal, I've had it (insert large number) times".

>>18011653
why does it seem to be true for you that not having sex makes you inferior?

i know the answer seems obvious, but try again to answer it as much out of yourself as possibly and not fall for "common assumtions"

>>18011638
I appreciate the advice, I'll get to reading that soon.

>>18011655
It seems true because I'm one of those left out, left to rot alone it feels. It's always seemed to me that sex validates a person, even if they're shitty people.

>>18011668
You ever met a mormon? Those fuckers refuse to have sex until marriage, and still have the confidence to walk up to you in public wearing a blazer and talk to you like they've known you their whole life. You know what part of their existence they aren't worried about? Where they put their dicks.

If a mormon can do it, anyone can.

>>18011668
so your value that is at work here is that you think you need validation and feeling like being a part of "it"? and the metric to measure how good one is doing with that is how much sex they have?
am i making correct assumtions? if not, correct me

>>18011678
I suppose so.

>>18011679
That's seems about right.

>>18011691
i think your underlying value is that you correctly want to be a worthy and functioning human. which is a pretty normal thing to want. the problem is that you have decided to measure your progress for that particular value with something that makes you fall short of your goal. there are a million other ways to measure the worth and social integration of a person that aren't sex. sure, it is one way. but i am sure you can name me 3 other ones that you do better in.

>>18011696
>i think your underlying value is that you correctly want to be a worthy and functioning human. which is a pretty normal thing to want. the problem is that you have decided to measure your progress for that particular value with something that makes you fall short of your goal.

This sounds like it's what it could be

>there are a million other ways to measure the worth and social integration of a person that aren't sex. sure, it is one way. but i am sure you can name me 3 other ones that you do better in.

well I'm generally good at talking with guys, I have gotten a legitimate interest in drawing in the last year. Shit, guess I'm pretty bad if i can't think of a 3rd thing. maybe I'm just tired.

OP here
for any of the posters in this thread, I want to say thank you for your advice. I really appreciate the help. I'd stay up and keep a tab on the thread more but I have to be up early in the morning.