How do you help with depression?

>>18010894
This sounds like a very destructive relationship. Does she do anything for you? Or are you just her emotional support?

Honestly, I've been this girl. It took my boyfriend breaking down for me to realise I was being too selfish, and I put a hell of a lot of effort into trying to change. It was difficult but ultimately rewarding, and we're still together now.

She's being too self absorbed, and you're not allowing yourself (and she's not allowing you) to feel things and be vulnerable as well. You need to tell her how much of a strain it's putting on you, and remind her that relationships are about both give and take.

She needs to stop using her mental illness as a shield and an excuse for being a poor girlfriend.

>>18010921
She is not a poor gf. Everything she can do for me she does it and always listens to my problems and shit and she always makes me get over them. I want to know what to do. I want to send her money for a terapist (no meds, bad experience in the past) . I want to go visit her as soon as I can. I want to call her now. I told her to promise me she wont do it. And she texted me. 'I wont promise nothing, now I am going to bed' and I cant convince her. Im just really afraid she has an atrack or gets really nervous during the night and actually does it

>>18010936
This stuff is very manipulative. Like it or not, these kinds of behaviours are manipulation or obsession.

If you're seriously worried, I suggest contacting her parents.

>>18010936
What exactly is her major malfunction about meds? The first time I was on meds I got shitfaced, tried to overdose on them, then realised you'd need to consume a factory load of SSRIs to off myself with them so after a while I trusted myself enough again and tried another type.

They made me puke blood for four weeks. So I stuck on them for four weeks to see if they had any positive effect too, then said the side effects were too adverse and my doctor gave me some different meds.

The next ones had me sleeping for twenty hours a day and feeling like absolute slothful death. I went cold turkey off them when I got a job that prevented me from doing that, then worked fine for a couple of months til I tried offing myself again.

Now I'm back on different meds, and these ones kill my sex drive (which is fine, I'm not exactly chasing tail in this current state anyway) but the verdict's still out on what they do to my head. So I'm gonna give 'em a few weeks or months and if there's no difference or anything adverse happens, I will ask for more meds.

The moral of the story is there are too many pharmaceuticals in the world that can help fucked up people for your girlfriend to dismiss all of them based on one or two bad experiences.

>>18010944
Thank you for your time. I managed ti contact her and is calmed now. Sorry for all this crying and bitching on this board. But I really have no one to turn to, only her. I don't think she is manipulative at all, I know her for lots of years, but anyway thank you really for using your time to advice me.

>>18010953
I don't really know wich meds she took but she had similar efects that you had. Maybe we will try just therapy for now. Still not trusting so much. Thank you

>>18010894
I'm really sorry for you OP, but as someone who's had depression for years, I can tell you no amount of other people throwing everything they've got can help break it. It needs to be fought from the inside. Just keep supporting her as best you can, but know you cant fix it for her.

>>18010959
Hey no problem man. I don't mean deliberately manipulative, like she's an evil person. Some people do it subconsciously. It's clear you really care for her, which is wonderful, and I hope you can move closer to one another so the relationship progresses.

For the future, I would advise getting the number of whoever lives near her (friends or family), so you can call them if you're panicking and get them to go check on her.

Best of luck anon.

>>18010967
Ok I will look up to do so, I think she has to make a mind-twist and fight it herself too. Thank you

>>18010964
>>18010959

Bro this board is crying and bitching. You just have to be careful sometimes because certain personality types can be manipulative without even realising they're doing it.

Draw boundaries, take care of yourself, but props for being a phenomenal boyfriend. Having a lifeline person like you was absolutely imperative to keeping me alive when I was in a really dark place, but as >>18010967 says, she needs to fight this battle on her own.

I would try and open a conversation with her about meds some time if you can frame it in a way where she might be receptive to changing her mind. I have high hopes they might help me, at least.

>>18010968
Thank you for those words. Luck for you too and whatever problems you might have. Thanks for the help

>>18010973
Alright, maybe in some time I will try to convince her about meds. Thanks!

>>18010894
>And she would want not to be so in love with me so she could kill herself

This shit is abusive. She's mentally ill, yes, but she's using it to control you, basically saying if you leave she'll kill herself.

Tell her to get help and break up with her. If she threatens suicide, say you're going to call 911 for her safety and I bet she'll stop threatening real quick. This is not a good situation for you, OP.

>>18010979
I don't want to break up with her at all and in any circumstance. Sorry if you're trying to help but that's a terrible idea. I'll listen to >>18010973 >>18010968
>>18010967

>>18010982
You are essentially saying you'll let this girl do whatever she wants to you, because you'll never leave her. She KNOWS this and is using it to abuse you. That's why she's doing dramatic shit like not promising to be safe, then ends the conversation. Speaking as someone with a bunch of mental illnesses, that is NOT something you do to someone you care about. She is milking you for emotional attention.

If you won't leave her, you need to train her to know it's not acceptable to treat you like this. When she brings up feeling sad, empathize, but then move on. Say things like "wow, that sounds really painful. I want to help you, but I'm not a professional". Try to get her into therapy.

I still recommend breaking up. It's not worth it to try and "save" someone who has no respect for you. But I understand that people need to learn this themselves, rather than hearing it, because they want to see the best in their partner.

>>18010987
Just a while ago I was about to call her when she called saying sorry and promising me she won't do anything. I think it would be really cold to act like you say, I have self respect issues that's right, but i think that doesn't apply here. Also, if you really love and care for someone with depression is not smart nor easy to say ' I will break up with her maybe she will fix her shit'. Aanyway, as I said to everyone else, thanks for the advice and your time.

>>18010994
Breaking up isn't an ultimatum to make her get help, it's a way to take yourself out of a toxic situation.

Hope it turns out okay for you though, her calling you back is a good sign. And ur welcome

>>18010894
you want to help her?
leave her. it is the only way.

search your feelings, anon. you know this to be true.