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What do I do if my sex life with my fiancé is very bad?
I have been with him for 4 years and the only time I remember having exciting sex was when we first started getting physical.
I have brought it up many times, but he is so sensitive so I don't know what to do anymore.
We have sex twice a month ("Let's have sex"... almost like we are going for an obligatory walk) He has told me that although not ideal, he is ok with it.
(He is ok with it because he fucking masturbates to porn the rest of the time)
Meanwhile, I am sick of masturbating.
We see each other daily but he is so sexually 'cold' and it's a gigantic turn off. I feel like I am starting to resent him and even fantasize about him being more "manly" or whatever bullshit is going on in my head.
Goddamn I don't want an asexual husband. (nothing wrong with it but it's not for me)
If I initiate, he feels pressured and overthinks, won't get hard and the whole thing is an awkward mess. So I leave it up to him (we decided on this) and yet.... He sits there each and every night talking about bullshit I don't even want to listen to because I want to have sex.
I don't like this. I am upset and fed up. And save the "NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT SEX" shit, I don't care.
So apart from breaking up, what should I do? I can't get through to this motherfucker.
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because you don't have fiancé and you are making this up
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>>18010436
You're an idiot.
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Apart from breaking up? A few options:
>murder him
>chopp his hands
>terminate your ISP and mobile contracts
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>>18010418
>>18010436
really have sex with whom you like when you like, nobody is stopping you or judging you
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>>18010442
So basically there is no hope here.
It seems so stupid saying "I am breaking up because sex is weird and sporadic"
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>>18010457
because you are making this up
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>>18010454
I don't swing that way.
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>>18010418
You dont deserve him slut. Go to a bar and get stuffed by Chad. Maybe youll feel better.
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>>18010462
Are you on drugs or are you the percentage of 4chan who needs psychiatric help?
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>>18010467
I think I would at this rate.
Thanks, fag.
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>>18010467
>>18010477
>>18010468
>>18010463
samefag go away
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>>18010418
>So apart from breaking up, what should I do? I can't get through to this motherfucker.
Just putting it out there... Sexual incompatibility is a legitimate reason to GTFO from a relationship.
Anyway, go see a couples counselor or sex therapist.
He wants you to be the woman in his life, he better be willing to get over himself and insecurities and AT LEAST do that much for you.
If he's not willing to, then honestly, that that's both an indicator of what shit's going to be like when you're married (of how likely he's going to flake/try to pretend nothings going on when shit hits the fan) and an indicator of how selfish he'll be in the relationship in the future (by not compromising and lopsidedly trying to have it his own way).
This is shit you MUST fix before you get married. Partnership is about compromise, but there are things that are NEEDS, and if your needs are not being met, it will only get worse.
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>>18010493
Thank you for understanding and replying with some sanity.
It really does feel like he is selfish. He is not a shy person so it just feels like he is actually selfish.
I would do anything for him in the past and now I don't even want to be around him. I don't know why it has affected me to this degree, it just has.
I went to see a therapist about this very issue because he made me feel like a sex crazed person and he seems to think that he might have some narcissism and uses sex as a control tool, as his escape (masturbation & porn). I didn't want to tell him this because he flares up in rage if criticized.
I was afraid that therapist was going to do more harm than good for my relationship so I stopped seeing him.
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>>18010542
sex with therapist
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Cuck him.
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>>18010542
>I was afraid that therapist was going to do more harm than good for my relationship so I stopped seeing him.
Legitimately... there are some bad therapists out there... but as a whole, they are there to help you. What they are paid to do is to try to help improve your mental well being.
A hard truth is that if you are more concerned for your relationship--to the point where you're prioritizing it--over your OWN well being, this relationship is probably not good for you.
The ideal state for a relationship is a mutually symbiotic one that the helps IMPROVE YOU and you it, not one that gets in your way....
Anyway, philosophical quandaries aside,
I meant you should see a therapist WITH him, together.
If this is something that is a major problem in your life, he should be willing to work with you to fix it.
The reality is: If he is not willing to work on it with you, that is a serious problem you can not gloss over.
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