My boyfriend just casually mentioned that he thinks he feels

Yeah I think you're being unnecessarily harsh (and no I don't have it and would not particularly like to catch it if I can avoid it). You happen to know all about it - most people don't even know that cold sores are a form of herpes. You are reacting like he willfully hid this withheld this information from you, when it sounds like (and it completely realistic that) he just didn't realize it was relevant to begin with.

Don't you have the best resources to look up what you can do to protect your health? Otherwise I'd ponder on whether you want to stay with him. Even if oral's off the table (and he's okay with that), what about kissing? And personally I would not like to date someone who treated me like a leper for having an extremely common virus that I never personally saw as a big deal, when I could just date someone who already has it herself or shrugs off the risk.

why do people freak out over this? literally everyone has herpes in some form. get over it and deal with it

>>18009800

i hope you're a troll.

sorry but you know the statistics that 97% of first worlders are going to get this. the only guy i know who doesnt have it is a literal virgin, and even other virgins tend to get it from their family or a childhood kiss.

if you are concerned about this then its YOUR job to ask about it. there is no social norm that says you need to tell people you had a cold sore, cuz everyone does. thats like asking expecting someone to warn you if they had a cold in the last six months.

its stupid to be cautious over oral herpes, but if you are it is YOU responsibility to be cautious dont pretend like teh entire world is doing you an injustice here when you're the weird one. he didnt do anything wrong. he had no reason to believe that he had to tell you, it goes without saying. they even talk about cold sores in childrens cartoons

>>18009800

To put it into perspective, it's far more likely that you have herpes than that you don't have herpes, some people have it without symptoms at all. You definitely overreacted.

I get cold sores, and my girlfriend doesn't (no one I've ever been intimate with does, actually), and we've been dating for nearly a decade. He was letting you know about his cold sore so you wouldn't get mad at him when he doesn't touch you for a week, basically. You definitely overreacted.

>>18009810
I did- I asked if he ever had any stis or STDs before sex, and he said no.


On top of that- it's ALWAYS the infected person's responsibility to share the info.
If you got aids from someone, it would be a "oh, well why didn't you ask?" Situation.

Herpes, especially oral herpes, is not a big deal.

However, since there was a chance for me to get it ON MY VAGINA, I am upset

Also, a TEMPORARY COLD and an INCURABLE STI are not the same in any way

>>18009816
He doesn't even live in the same state as me, he let me know about the cold sore just because.

What bothers me is that he probably would have continued to kiss me and go down on me even if I were there with him because he's horny and wouldnt even think about it

You expect me to believe you're a biology major, even though you think you can get genital herpes from a cold sore?

>>18009808
I don't have it and I don't want to.
Just because lots of people have it doesn't mean that you should assume people have it. That attitude is the very reason why it's so common

>>18009818

thats because its only technically an STD. you know that you can get a cold from sex and that makes it an STD now right?

>its always the infected persons responsibility to share info

no its not. specifically in this case, its not. this is not an STD as far as people are concerend. in the technical sense, sure, but considering that 97% of people have it or will get it no one talks about it or counts it.

again, EVERYONE else is doing this, not talking about it, not mentioning it in STD talks. YOU are the exception. so are you aying EVERYONE is breaking this rule, or are you just overreacting? its the latter.

the chance of you getting it on your vagina is small, and even if you did, the chance of you having a severe outbreak is small, and beyond that repeating out breaks are less likely and again, more minor.

im sorry, but you're blowing htis out of proportion.

by your logic he should also just assume he has HPV and warn you about that.

>>18009818
i donmt even count herpes as an std. it's a virus you have or you don't have that flares up in a non-dangerous laesion if your immune system is under attack. it goes away on itself again. i don't see the problem. distress your mammaries...

>>18009824
That actually is very much possible. Not even OP.

>>18009824
Are you an idiot?
You literally can

>>18009826

>just because 97% OF PEOPLE HAVE IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD ASSUME PEOPLE HAVE IT

as someone who is concerned about getting it, YES YOU FUCKING SHOULD YOU DUMB CUNT

>>18009831

is it really an STD if you generally get it before you have sex?

>>18009824

you can man, not OP, but she is right you CAN transfer it to genitals (or anywhere really). it just doesn't generally happen so no one worries, and hwen it does happen its so minor that it doesn't matter.

OPs a twat

>>18009839
OP is a twat but there's still plenty of people around who would freak out over dating/sleeping with someone with genital herpes, so it absolutely does matter in that regard.

>>18009838
It's still transmitted through sex... just not exclusively, but neither are plenty of others.

>>18009828
that'a technically wrong- a cold cannot be classified as an STD like that.
There are microbiological reasons as to why it's classified as an STD that I'm not going to go in to but that you can read about if you're interested.

It's an std as far as doctors and scientists are concerned, and as far as I'' concerned. Of course the 50% of people who have it don't want to admit it's an std.


And yeah, considering HPV causes cancer, I would like my partner to tell me if he has that. I've gotten my vaccines but he shouldnt assume.

>>18009843

>there are people who would freak out over dating/sleeping with soemone with genital herpes

until they realize thats its not genital herpes. its oral herpes that happens to be on the genitals. there is a difference.

>>18009843

again, technically, sure, but to treat it with the same stigma you would the real STDs is pretty silly.

its okay, just ask your partner before you kiss them. thats on you, not hte world. and it doesnt matter if you disagree, cuz the rest of the world isnt going to cater to you.

and since its so important, you should ask regardless.

File: 1476369146117.png (1004KB, 797x725px)

1004KB, 797x725px

>>18009800
The bullshit you kids worry about holy shit...

Also NORMIES REEEEEEEEEE

>>18009832
>>18009834
>>18009839
Well, I've got egg on my face.

I was very much under the impression that oral =/= genital.

>>18009818
>stis or STDs
I understand that it technically is, but I have had it since I was like 5. I wouldn't have thought to say it was an STD until I was educated. You are overreacting.

If this is an issue to you, break up with him and save him some headache.

>>18009846
I think for most people it's just the whole, bumps around the crotch region that is most off putting. Not what it technically is or isn't, just the idea of a genital infection itself. It's not exactly rational because genital herpes isn't really a big deal to live with either.

>>18009837
Where are you getting that number from???
40% of people my age have it, which is IN THE MINORITY.

>>18009838
Yes.
You can literally be born with STDs.


Is it really that unreasonable to be upset about this?
Again, I didn't tell at him or anything but I told him that he should have taken personal responsibility and told me before he went down on me because I literally could have gotten it on my vagina!!!
Is that really so wrong? Wouldn't you guys be pissed if some girl gave you genital herpes and then you had warts all over your dick? Why is it wrong that I was unhappy to learn that I had been put at risk for getting warts on my vagina??

>>18009853

>I was very much under the impression that oral =/= genital.

the technical terms are HSV-1 and HSV-2 (herpes simplex virus). 1 is commonly referred to as 'oral' and 2 is commonly referred to as 'genital'.

both forms can actually be transmitted all over the body. tahts why if you have genital herpes they dont recommend using the same towel on your body as on your face when drying off.

that being said its not exactly common for your face herpes to become oral herpes, otherwise, well, you'd already know this. it happens but its rare, and hwen it does its not that big a deal.

>>18009853
You've got SPERM on your face too!!! WA HA HA!!

>>18009849
I LITERALLY DID ask and he didn't tell me.
That is why I am upset!


>>18009846
Bumps on crotch is unattractive regardless of what strain of herpes it is

>>18009856

most people are understanding if you say its just oral herpes and that you've been tested and explain the science. it leads to some annoying conversations, but i have not heard of it affecting sex life the way genital herpes itself does because of the stigma.

>>18009849
I think for OP and others in the same position it's not typically their biggest fear to catch oral herpes but to have it transmitted to their genital region. Whether it should or shouldn't be stigmatized is beside the point when it still very much is stigmatized (genital lesions, that is) so you'd be the one who'd need to tell future partners that "no really, it's not a big deal".

File: 1480706762557.gif (2MB, 250x140px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 250x140px

>>18009864
Yeah but I'd still fuck you, come sit on my face!

>>18009860
Oh, see, I actually know all of that already. I just didn't know you could get 1 on your crotch, is all.

>>18009800
How do you know you don't also have HSV?

>>18009859

>40% of people my age have it

depends who you ask, but they say 97% will get it before they die. other websites estimate between 50-80%. even if it was just 40 (you're wrong) its barely a minority.

>is it really unreasonable to be upset about htis?

yes. if you are this fucking hectic about something no one else cares about, then the problem is you, not the rest of the world. if you are so fucking hectic about this you should have asked, not assumed that he should. how many people have you met that just say 'I HAVE ORAL HERPES BTW' before dating, kissing, sharing a drink?

its okay if you want to be a nut about this, thats fine, but dont act like hes wrong for not knowing you were a nut.

YOU are in the minority here. not just on this board, but on the issue as a whole.

>>18009871
I have been blood tested for it, and I don't have it.
Guys- my fear is that he will give it to me ON MY CROTCH and then what if he breaks up with me? Then I have disgusting warts on my vagina that I'd have to always worry about giving to anyone else I dated- AND you have to take medicine when you're pregnant or your child can be born with herpes all over their body

>>18009864

>i literally did ask

you asked if he ever had an STD. not if he had cold sores. there is a difference. you can say there's technicals all you want, but thats like saying his favorite color isnt allowed to be black, cuz its not technically a color. iti s.

you were ignorant here, not him. and on that note, why arent you upset that he didnt tell you about his HPV? i mean he couldnt know for sure but he has to assume he has it like everyone else.

>>18009864

>bumps on crotch is unattractive

sure, but they are very rare to get there from oral herpes, the break outs are much less severe and so infrequent that most people report only having 2 to 3 breakouts in a lifetime.

the same reason why cold sores aren't a normal recurrence.

>>18009870
You can, it just typically breaks out there less frequently because it doesn't suit the strain as well as the mouth for whatever reason (obviously NOT a biology student).

>>18009866
That sounds nice, I'd like to think most people around my age (mid twenties) would respond the same way now, but being around twenty or younger...? A guy discovering any sorts of bumps on a girl's crotch would bring on the slut calling and ridicule before you have time to pull any tests out at all.

>>18009876
I DID ASK.
For the last time!!! I literally did ask and he didn't tell me!!!

And people who have cold sores should NOT PERFORM ORAL SEX ON THEIR PARTNER WITHOUT TELLIG THEM!

I would prefer to not get oral herpes but it'/s not that big a deal.

HERPES on GENITALS is a big deal though!
Do you disagree??

>>18009870

a lot of people don't. i only know all this cuz the doctor said i had herpes once so i did a fuck ton of research. it turns out i dont have herpes (genital herpes) i just had a temporary strain of HPV

HERP DERP! OP IS A HERP DERP!! WAHAHAHAHA

>>18009887
>>18009889
Well, it's nice to know I wasn't wrong.

Not as wrong as I expected, anywho.

>>18009879

sucks to be you? the chances of that happening are really rare, and its actually more rare if you have hsv-1 on your face, people with hsv-1 are 40% less likely to contract hsv-2, so you should go make out wiht your boyfriend til you get a cold sore.

>>18009879
>warts
Nigger they aren't warts.

Plus the vast majority of people are asymptomatic and never even know they have it. Neonatal herpes is incredibly rare and only happens when a women literally gets genital herpes DURING her pregnancy. Like she sleeps with a new guy when she's already months pregnant and her body hasn't had time to build up enough immunity. Even in those cases, antivirals are enough to do the trick. See the rate of neonatal herpes and contrast it to the population rate of HSV.

I'd say chances are you have it now and don't even know just like everybody else.

>>18009882
Dude, cold sores are literally herpes.

It's an std that can be on your mouth, just like syphilus.

Anyone who's completed high school level biology knows that it is an std.

If you are trying to tell me that it's not one then you are either an idiot or you're 16.

Everyone knows it's an std, and even if you disagree with that- MY BOYFRIEND knows it's an std, so bottom line is that he specifically did not tell me

>>18009887

maybe under 20. i mean if its legit genital herpes you'd lose a lot of partners, but once people understand its oral herpes and they already have it, teh chances of them getting it is slim to none.

>>18009888

you askedi f he had oral herpes? specifically said 'do you ahve oral herpes?'

in that case that sucks but he might not have known that cold sores were oral herpes. just look at this thread, there are misconceptions.

break up with him and go get tested im sure you are fine.

>do you disagree??

having it is a deal. not a big deal, but a deal nonetheless. making a big deal out of the possibility of getting it? no. its super rare to get oral herpes on your vag.

>>18009906
>its super rare to get oral herpes on your vag.

Not really. HSV-1 is actually overtaking 2 in all areas and might completely out-compete it.

University of Wisconsin did a 9-year study which ended in 2003 that showed that during those 9 years, 78% of the new genital herpes infections which came through their clinic were HSV-1, not HSV-2.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14520181

Another research project in Nova Scotia, Canada revealed that, of women under age 30 who had genital herpes, 73.7% were due to HSV-1.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2094909/

Various other studies have shown that HSV-1 was responsible for at least 50% of new genital herpes infections.
http://projectaccept.org/straight-dope-herpes-statistics/

>>18009902

>its an STD

sure. technically. i have agreed with that from the very beginning. but to say it has the same stigma as the other STDs is stupid.

there's no room for argument here. he iddnt hide the fact that he had herpes. he just assumed, like everyone else in the developed world, that you didn't mean the kissing disease everyone on 'as told by ginger' caught.

you're the only one here acting like a 16 year old. the world will not cater to you. its your job to specifically say 'do you have oral herpes / cold sores?'

not the rest of the world. argue all you want, but the rest of the world wil lcontinue to say they are STD free even though they have oral herpes (and HPV for that matter)

>>18009925

thats actually good then.

>>18009931
Pretty much, since the only real difference between the two strains is 2 has more outbreaks a year on average.

>>18009934

heard their more severe too, at least early on, but yeah.

>>18009807
This t b h. It's still not as universally known that cold sores= herpes as we'd like to think. There's still plenty of people who hold this belief that cold sores are different or "don't count".

And also, it's an entirely overly stigmatized infection for how absolutely mundane it is, and yes, over 80% of the population has herpes. You're gonna be hard pressed to find a guy who doesn't if you're truly as clean as you think OP. But whatever, dump the guy or go sexless (and likely get dumped) for the rest of your life if you're that concerned about it.

>>18009902
I applaud you for not wanting to get herpes.
Don't listen to the folks that say everyone has it.
certain demographics who are promiscuous will have a higher rate it.
Just like the statistic that 40 % of Americans have STDs, but you have to look at it by racial social and other factors.
Poor urban black probably has way higher rate than a middle class asian
I've deep french kissed dozens of hookers, and I am lucky I've got no herpes.

I had two when I was sick as a child, didint had any since years, am I cured or is it still contagious?

>>18009991
If they were actually cold sores then you still have herpes but it could just me dormant. You might be contagious on some days even though you don't exhibit symptoms.

>>18009991
HSV is for life and is always contagious. The vast majority of people have it, are asymptomatic, and go their whole lives thinking they for sure don't have it.

>>18009991
its for life man. A lot of people have it without ever showing symptoms though.
You can theoretically get it from birth and die without ever having a single outbreak. But you still have the virus in you.
I had em a lot as a kid too but I haven't had one since I was 10 really.

As for contagion, citation needed, I'm pretty sure you can still pass it along without an outbreak, however the likelyhood is rather insignificant. At least compared to if you were mackin on someone while having an outbreak.

>>18010007
HSV can be spread through viral shedding when no symptoms are present. It is believed that the majority of infections are contracted this way, as over 90% of the global population has it yet only a minority are symptomatic and have/had an actual outbreak.

>>18009800
>biologist
>doesn't know oral herpes can be cured in a week with medicine

>>18010024

>cured

>>18009818
Considering that a lot of people get cold sores as children from their parents via a non sexual kiss or from other children, NOPE for most people oral herpes doesn't count as an STD.

If it is that important break up with him.

>>18009800
I'm a kissless virgin, and I've had a cold sore. You're being a cunt.

>>18009998
>>18010005
>>18010007
>>18010022
thanks guys
should I be worried to give it to my partner? It dosent seem that serious but i'm giving oral so i'm kinda worried

>>18010045
Just don't do it if you have an active cold sore.

>>18009800
no you're not over reacting. That's extremely fucked up. Extremely.
And no, not every one has it.

>>18010042
no you're just an unfortunate faggot. op is not being a cunt, that's fucked up to do to some one.

>>18010057
And how do you know you don't have it?

>>18010057
>No not everyone has it
Yeah, it's only 90% of people. You and OP are fucking idiots for calling something ridiculously common "extremely fucked up".
From WebMD
>Ninety percent of all people get at least one cold sore in their life. This first occurrence is often the worst.

>>18010045
You should take suppressant medicine and give blowjobs with a condom.

Otherwise you'll be contagious about 16% of the time asymptomatically, and your patter will end up with herpes

>>18009800
you can literally get rid of it within 1-2 weeks, nothing to get angry about

>>18009808

I don't

The reaction from OP and others is a bit ridiculous.

>What should I do?
You should get over it; you're overreacting. Or go get counseling for being a hypochondriac; it's impacting your life. The problem is with you, not him.

Lemon balm and general vulnerary herbs help.

>Am I just going to have to deal with the fact that he can never go down on me?
If you're holding to this standard, then only 16% of the world population can go down on you. Break up with your boyfriend and find one of those, or get some help.

Thread hidden.

The plot twist is that OPs bf got it from her and hers is just dormant.

>>18009800
I agree with you. He shouldve told you he had core sores. But I dont think he was trying to hide. I think he didnt know its classified as a std.
These people that are telling you to get over it and you shouldve asked are just projecting. these same people think rimming is ok.
I dont want anything. I gave my guy friend a blow and licked his balls. Then I worried for days if licking his balls was a smart move. The only people who down play std allready have something.
But i guess we have to specific say, " have you had mouth sores or herpes".
A guy said that aids was treatable- be safe everyone.

>>18009807
Fuck you, if someone gave me herpes I'd shoot them in the fucking head and go to jail with a smile to live out the rest of my diseased life in quarantine.

>>18009808
No they don't you uneducated diseased inbred fuckstain.

>>18011365
>AIDS is treatable
Yeah, by fucking immolation. AIDS = your life is fucking done, over, kaput. Might as well be quadriplegic.

You people take this shit too fucking lightly.

>>18009810
>if you are concerned about this then its YOUR job to ask about it

LOL

This is what idiots actually believe

>>18009810
>sorry but you know the statistics that 97% of first worlders are going to get this

I know literally one person in my entire life who has herpes simplex, and literally no one I know is a virgin

Don't take it out on everyone else just because you're fucking mad faggot that you have an incurable illness

>>18011393
>AIDS = your life is fucking done, over, kaput. Might as well be quadriplegic.

This is completely false, even if your HIV becomes AIDS you can still live with the illness

You underestimate modern medicine

>>18009800
As far as I see it the problem lies that your bf didn't know cold sores are herpes and an STD, which I can understand, I didn't know about this either until I was in my 20s. Inb4 hurr durr everyone in high school knows this. I've talked to people about it after I found out and literally no one knew this, so I doubt it's just a case of me not listening in high school biology class.

Anyway because of that you can't really hold it against him that he didn't tell you.
However if you're that freaked out by it then how can you even be in a relationship with him? I don't really understand what you're asking in your OP, because it appears to me that having oral herpes is an immediate deal breaker for you.
Then there's also the fact that there's a good chance you already have the virus. Most people who have it rarely if ever experience outbreaks of it. So consider that from now on, by your standards, you gotta tell every potential lover that you have it.

Also I think it would be helpful for you to talk with a professional about this, to tell you about actual risks of infection. Especially as a biology major you should know better than ask an anonymous anime image board about medical questions.

>>18011412
Most people who have it rarely if ever have outbreaks. And if they do it's unlikely they'll tell you about it.
Statistics say there's a good chance you have it without knowing.

>>18011412
>>18011384
>>18011382
>>18011365
>>18011052
>>18009957
t. Average HSV positive person