What does it mean that love is a choice? How does one decide

>>18007592
>What does it mean that love is a choice?

I don't know the phrase, but I guess the point is that a relationship is hard work, so you gotta chose to keep working on it.

>>18007592
Are you a man? If so you will automatically fall in love with any girl who touches your special place.

How do I get out of depression if I don't even consider myself depressed? I've had people tell me I'm depressed just because I don't care about losing my virginity or starting a family. How old were you when you considered having a family? I lost my childhood sweetheart and haven't met another like her no, but so what life is full of rad video games

I guess it means that to love someone you don't have to fall in love at first sight. Love can be like a plant that you nurture every day so it will grow and grow.

>>18007972
wtf?

>>18008173
How do you nurture love?

>>18008176
I imagine, now I haven't succeeded myself, but like trying to be with the person and see if they like being with you. Well I did succeed once but they weren't gay and I realized I didn't just want to have a friend, I'm sorry about leaving that friendship after all I said about being brothers

>>18008176
Well, now that's a complicated one to answer.

I think some people are just incompatible, they'll never really love each other, no matter what.

For other people, I guess in the end it's all about trying to make the other person happy while trying to be happy yourself by being with them. They give and they take from each other, and if by being together both people are becoming happier, then I suppose they must love each other.

You nurture love by being nice to the other person. By listening, by caring, by giving, by cautiously taking. By never lying, never cheating, never making them feel like you don't care, never making unreasonable demands, never being dishonest. Bit by bit you come to know and trust each other.

But listen, man, I'm in an 8 month relationship and it's my first. So don't ask me for the holy grail of long term relationships, cause I'm nowhere close. All I meant by "love is like a plant that you nurture" is that if you meet someone who doesn't make your heart tingle as soon as you set eyes on them, that doesn't mean that you can't love each other. Love can be grown, or maybe it's more accurate to say that love can be discovered.

>>18008210
not OP, but I just wanted to say, very nicely put, and thanks for the disclosure

Guy who had two relationships here, one for two years and another relationship of a year and a half, this anon is right, I do the same comparison myself: love is a project It's not a feeling per se, it must be grown and then maintained and if you ever stop - It'll wither, exactly like a flower.

Then there is infatuation, It's the "real" feelings, I quote unquote the word real because those feelings, as present relevant and effective as they are, they are not what makes love, that is the drive to fuck each other, what keeps you together must be actual appreciation and that comes from the mind, not from the heart.
Good luck anon

>>18008210
OP here, that was a beautiful answer, and very encouraging. Thank you.