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How do I overcome being a decent adult who was a horrible bastard of a child?
>Tormented my siblings
>Couple times I blatantly broke something and blamed it on my sister or brother (only about twice, though)
>Was a borderline sociopath when I helped raise my little brother. He was real bratty, sometimes, but I was still a jerk.
>Was mostly bullied myself, but I was nasty when I was younger, too. However, I teased some kids before I got to middle school. At the time, I thought it was fun to be a"annoying," but I know, now, that I was as much an asshole as the kids I hated.
Sometimes I want to blow my brains out as a punishment.
Feel like I don't deserve happiness. However, though I try to get along and love them, my sister could be quite a superficial bitch and my brother tended to act like a brat a lot of the time. I'm 25, she's 27 and he's 15. I've tried to change as much as possible, I've apologized to my parents, my siblings, try to act like a good person and go out of my way to be kind to others. But it isn't enough. My sister hasn't changed much in how she acts towards me; some of it can be justified, a lot of it isn't. Thankfully, she moved across the country years ago, so I don't come into contact with her, often.
I feel like I shouldn't be forgiven, I shouldn't be let off the hook with the whole "oh, I was a kid, then, but I'm more mature, now!" meme. Nor do I feel like anyone else should.
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>>18004961
Bump. Any thread that isn't about relationshit or college woes gets ignored.
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>>18004961
you living a tormented life isnt helping undo any damage. first forgive yourself. then reconcile with your family.
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If you worked up the courage to acknowledge how you acted and apologized for said actions, you've done enough. Just continue to make yourself a better man. People do indeed change a lot from adolescence; believe it or not. Kids and teenagers are more apt to make irrational decisions, and have a poor sense of empathy. I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, a lot of things that still eat away at me. Some people still hate my guts, I understand why. It's something you have to learn to live with, focus on you and you will feel better with time. If your sister or others still want to treat you with disdain, so be it. You can't change their attitudes so why even try.
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>>18005230
I've tried to reconcile, though. Started when I was 18. It still doesn't help.
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Talk to a therapist? Everyone should every once in a while, and they'll probably give you more insight than 4chan.
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>>18004961
Accept that kids are dumb and don't do bad things now.
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Move on and swear not to repeat the mistake.
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We are all awful people when we are children. I used to steal from my mom and break into people's homes. It doesn't make you evil or a lost cause. Sometimes kids just do shitty things. You're not a sociopath because your conscious thought knows that it was wrong and you have a deep sense of regret and remorse. You've already apologized and asked for forgiveness. You don't have to bear this cross anymore. Go and move on with your life and be happy. You deserve it. And no matter how your family treats you, you are worthy of good and happy things.
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Don't forgive yourself. It was all your fault. All of it. You are a bad person currently. You were a bad person. You can't change what you did in the past beyond being a good person now.
Everything you have done since the age of 13 has been your fault. You had agency, you were a cunt.
It's time to change that, if you don't change, you're a waste of a human being. All the responisibility is on you, now don't be a fucking faggot.
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You were a kid. Not your fault. Talk to them about it. Better tp change later than never at all. Ur on the right track
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>>18004961
Pro tip, your don't deserve happiness, none of us do. That's why you take it.
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