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How do I make my wife feel better about things she has done in

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How do I make my wife feel better about things she has done in the past? She hates herself for sexual things she did when she was 17-18 and single before we met. She never full on had sex, but she did sexual stuff when she had smoked and or was drunk. It's never really bothered me but it still haunts her I guess. Ive tried to tell her everyone has a past and it's no big deal but it doesnt seem to help.

TLDR: how do I help my wife get over past regrets?
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>>18004691

buy her a therapist
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>>18004726
Tried that but it never really help her. I dont really know why
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>>18004729
Therapists are not a magical solution. She has to open up to them and help herself, and this can take time, specially since it's sexual

She seems to have a bad image of herself more than she's worried about what you think of it, probably because it's related to substances.
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>>18004691
Prep the bull to truly show her it's ok.

Shitposting aside, dump her: not because she used to do those things in the past, but because from her behaviour, she's guaranteed to be cheating now, and tries to avert your gaze by "overreacting".
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>>18004738
You're probably right. I just wish I knew how to help her along with everything. I mean hell I've done plenty of things I regret, but I dont hold on to them like she does. Not sure why
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What exactly has she done thats so bad? I know you said it doesnt bother you personally, but is it things out of the norm or something?
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>>18004792
I dont mind talking about the stuff, but i dont know if im allowed to post semi sexually explicit stuff on a blue board even if I make it not graphic?
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>>18004808
Its fine as long as its not pornographic
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>>18004957
So to preface we dont live near where she grew up and she doesn't have any contact with these people or didnt know them in the first place, so I thought that would help with things but it hasn't.

She got drunk at a party and ended up giving a guy she didnt know a bj.

She was staying at a friend's house and taking a shower after smoking a joint in her friend's room with the bathroom door open and her friend pulled back the shower curtain and a couple guys saw her naked so she danced for them for a while.

She got drunk several times and flashed or skinny dipped.

She was drinking with people and got talked into giving a guy head for his birthday at a public park.

She was drunk and had smoked and got peer pressured into giving a guy a bj with another girl at a party in a room with a bunch of people watching. The guy finished on her and the other girl which I guess she didn't expect and right after that another guy she hadn't noticed finished on her as well by surprise.

And she was hammered and got undressed played with herself infront of people at a party.

Thats all I can think of off the top of my head. It all seems like dumb teenager shit to me and Ive told her as much. But she hates herself for it. Ive literally tried everything I can think of to help her through this. Has anyone had experiances similar with their partner that can offer any advice? I just want to help her heal and get past this shit. It's been 7 or 8 years now.
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>>18004744
>wife
>dump her
I don't think it's that easy, friendo.
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>>18005051
Hes just trolling. All the shit hes talking about isnt in ops posts
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>>18004691
You can't
Forgiveness can only come from within

All you can do is have her tell you her past and then you still love her.

If you can love her despite knowing everything then you can show her how she can love herself

You can't make her feel better
All you can do is provide an example
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>>18005048
That souds pretty crazy to me bud
Thread posts: 14
Thread images: 1


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