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So I've been dating this girl I met on okc for about a month. Things have been going great for the most part, we took the myers-briggs indicator and are both personality matches and we happen to both be INFJs which are less than 1% of the population. So we've been getting along great, share most of the same interests and both seemed to be looking for the same thing, or so I thought.
About 2 weeks in, we started opening up about when we want to get serious and she has been very clear that she wants to take it slow. Each date we go back to my place and we get a little further each time. First date was just hugs and hand holding, second date was kissing and cuddling, third and fourth dates were cuddling and touching, and after that, we started flirting about sex with each other through texts and such. She was always bringing up how much she loved when I kissed her neck so I brought up to her that I would like to start kissing her all over (obv. hinting at moving on to oral) and she seemed really reluctant. She's kind of shy like me and she's always saying stuff about how she's scared to move too fast because then she'll get attached etc.
So anyway, the other night she comes over and we order a pizza and watch stuff on Netflix all night. She brought beer and weed and we got really fucked up and started making out. She was moaning and saying she wanted me as I kissed her neck and took off her bra and sucked on her nipples and when I moved my tongue down to her belly button she told me she wanted to go to my room so we did. At this point I'm happy to be getting some oral action going and maybe I'd get a bj out of it.. Well I turn on some music and dim the lights and we lay down on my bed and start pulling each others clothes off. I work my way down to her pussy and start sucking and tongueing her clit and she starts moaning like crazy and telling me how good it is and everything. Then out of nowhere she pulls me up to her and starts kissing me.. (Cont.)
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Waiting
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>>18003399
(Cont.) then she grabs my hips and pushes my body against her with her legs up and pussy open. I still had my boxers on so I could feel it and I start dry humping as she moans and she says "I want you inside of me" so i go and get a rubber and put it on and as soon as its on i can feel myself going soft. I has just gotten out of a ten year relationship with someone. Never had to use a condom with, so I knew it was going to be a problem. I layed beside her and told her to touch me and she just touched it for a little and I realized she could tell I wasn't that hard anymore. I told her I was nervous because we agreed we were going to take it slow but she started getting frustrated and eventually got mad and got dressed then left. I told her I was really fucked up and just wasnt sure if we were both actually ready. Since then she hasn't been texting me as much but she claims she still wants to see me. But whenever I bring up when she wants to hang out again she either ignores my text or waits a while and says we'll find a time or something like that.
If I get another chance should i mention to her that condoms just don't work for me or would that make her not want to have sex seeing that most girls would expect you to use one if you've only been dating for a while.. I know that she's on birth control because she told me and I'd pull out. I just can't afford this to happen again because I know it would kill any chances with being with her. What should I do?
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>>18003399
>we happen to both be INFJs which are less than 1% of the population
Why do people believe this shit? You guys just want to feel special without actually doing anything
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>should i mention to her that condoms just don't work for me
Yeah why not? She might feel like you weren't attracted enough to her or something and therefore bothered.
If you trust her and believe her when she says she's on birth control, why not just get in there raw?
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>>18003399
>both be INFJs
Hit the jackpot, OP
Though desu most people have zero idea about how mbti works and get meaningless results.
Regardless though, pretty jelly
To your point, I'd be straight up with her next time I'd meet her. Tell her that you really like her, and want things to go well, and it's the condoms - not her. I would also be sure to empathize with the fact that this could appear to be a ruse to fuck without a condom. I would then let her decide if she wants to move forward with being sexual on these new terms, while telling her that I fully understand if she doesn't want to do this - but also regardless of the sex, that I want to continue to see her.
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>>18003521
Yeah her last words before leaving the other night were "maybe the truth is you're not attracted to me as much as you were to her" referring to the ten year relationship I was honest with her about and how it just ended three months ago. Well that followed by "by the way your dog pissed in the hallway". It was such a fucked up experience, I was in heaven and then hell before I even realized what hit me..
>>18003535
Yeah, the whole reason ousted the other excuse about us not being ready is that I figured she would think I just didnt want to use one and it would end in disaster that way. Why can't they make rubbers where you can actually feel something with them on by now. I mean its 2017 for christs sake..
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>she's scared to move too fast because then she'll get attached etc.
She's worried that she will develop a more intense romantic relationship with you? OP I am at a loss of what to say in response to this.
>I am losing my boner as the condom goes on
Don't worry i've got you on this. All you have to do is shift your attention and think about what it is about her originally made her very atractive to you. You're not looking for exact things, just remember feeling, sensing that thing you sensed about her, those things about her that you picked up on that made you feel so hot for her. It obviously isn't her body alone. There are things about her that drew you to her. Things that when you think about you feel this immediate strong sense of attraction towards her. Just meditate on that and let the old feelings of being attracted to her for those reasons well up inside of you.
I can get a huge immediate boner over my girlfriend by doing this without looking at porn or masturbating or imagining anything sexual at all.
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>>18003696
Your boner advice sounds spot on brother. Whenever I put a rubber on, I get all this blockage on my head saying "you won't feel anything. It's gonna be disappointing" and being intoxicated made it even worse. I need to find a way to stop thinking about how much I hate the rubber and instead focus on her and why I like her and want to please her. I just hope she lets me in without it somewhat soon, because reaching an orgasm and cumming with one on is a whole other story..
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>>18003399
Update: She's acting unphased by it by now, so I'm gonna play it cool and stick to my original excuse. If I tell her the condom thing she's gonna suspect shenanigans to convince her to let me fuck her without one. Not only that, she will say I was being dishonest and we made an honesty pact early on. She's kind of a tricky one, suspects easily but so do I, I suppose. I want to build something with someone honest because my last relationship was ten years with a pathologically lying narcissistic bitch.
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