I have a problem. I can admit that it is a problem, and I have

>>17998560

What is more important?

1. Life partner that you love
2. Fucking around

>>17998574
Yeah, what's more important OP? This anon asks a valid question. It sounds like you're super freaked by committing. It sounds like this has nothing to do with your dick or your self-control but rather your fear of committing to just one person, since it's such a huge commitment and big step in any relationship. Maybe you're moving too fast and need to slow down?

>>17998574
>>17998582
>>17998574
My immediate reply was "life partner."

But after really reading your response, I kind of feel like I missed out on my fucking around. I think that is really a strong force that is affecting me. I feel like I will regret not fucking around. I feel cheated kind of... Everywhere I've been, since High School, there were rumors that I was a manwhore. In reality, I've barely slept around at all. Sure I'd make out here and there but I've only fucked 4 women in my life. I'm pretty old now. And my looks haven't faded so I kind of feel my body is urging me to spread my seed while I still can.

A few nights ago my girlfriend asked how many girls I've slept with. I sheepishly said "I don't know" and she responded like "obviously, I don't care, I expect you had a lot and I'm okay with that." So now she has this opinion of me that I'm a stud when in reality I'm probably below average on the fuck scale.

Should I tell her these things?

Thanks again for the help guys

>>17998598
> think I should fuck around and "spread my seed"
> my gf thinks I'm a stud since I made it sound like I really got around

Dude. Take a hard look at yourself. Really look at yourself. If you think your "stud-worthiness" is because of fucking around with dumb bitches, you need to think again. You've said it yourself you have an awesome wife material gf. Now you're freaking out because you think you didn't get enough action before her? What's really bothering you anon?

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>>17998560
>tfw no man will ever feel this way about you

My ex cheated on me because of this. I know it wasn't worth it for him. What do you gain by fucking a random girl? Nothing. At some point you'd want your girlfriend back.

>>17998609
I think I'm just a dick. And I probably need to get over myself and learn some humility. It just feels like a weak thing to do or something. But you're right. I need to grow up a bit.

>>17998613
They exist. One of my closest friends is a true man of convictions. Fucking great guy who really respects his wife and doesn't ever put the relationship in jeopardy.

>>17998617
You're absolutely right, I'd feel like complete shit, I'd hurt her. But it doesn't seem to stop the fantasies. I guess keep them as just fantasies and never act on it

>>17998613
They will. I'm a guy.

>>17998560
It's difficult because you naturally want to have your pie and eat it, but I'm pretty sure you understand the issue here.

If you really love her and think she's worth it you're gonna have to buckle up and keep your dick in your pants. For me what really helps is that I have a genuine distaste for women in general. I even start my pickup lines by stuff like "oh look a woman that can speak". (I'm ready to take the heat for that one, it scored me a dream girl and we've been together for six years so yeah). As soon as I get my instincts going about someone else than my GF I pick that person apart and notice those small nuances that break the illusion.
>Perfect skin? Nah, obv. makeup
>Glorious tits? Like hell, bra does half the job
>An ass and hips to die for? Well that even may be true, but why waste time just to get that one piece?

etc. etc. works wonders for me.

Imo if you try to condemn and suppress these feelings, its extremely likely they will build.

just acknowledge them, understand its not really anything you're doing wrong (by having them ) and move on

> if I was closing up with my supervisor, and she made it blatantly obvious she wanted to fuck I would jump on it.

this is not going to happen, you're just fantasizing.

>>17998653
Thanks for the advice man. I think I tried this before with little success unfortunately. One girl I was partners with in class... and I'd just pick her apart in my head. In the end I was just like "who are you kidding dude you'd fuck that." I'll try it again though, maybe it would help if I pictured them as boring lays and not worth the effort. That is always a turn off.

>>17998664
This is why I'm worried. I suppress them, they build. And good point about my fantasy not coming true, it is very unlikely that it won't happen. But it does scare me a bit knowing if it did play out like it does in my head just how weak I'd be.

I'm not sure what answer I was looking for asking this. It's pretty much what I expected. It does help knowing others have the same feelings and control them just fine. Thanks again everyone

Get her into threesomes. I'd only fucked two girls counting with my current gf. And now I've fucked more girls with her than by myself, even if I don't count her.

It's crazy. Me lieks it.

>>17998702
I know it ain't easy, but I think it's best to not necessarily look for turn-offs per se. More like proofs that the girl in question is way below what you currently have.Best of luck to ya Anon. Remember that if you feel like breaking down and really not keeping it together - break up with the girl first and then go on a fucking spree. It will hurt her, but being honest is the way to go in critical times.

>>17998727
I hope it doesn't get to that point but yeah is respect her enough to do that first. You're a good man, Anon

dude i'm so exactly like you it's eerie.

i love my girlfriend, i truly do and I want to marry her someday (better yet, we've talked about it and we don't want to do it until our 30s, like 5+ years from now). i couldn't stand to break her heart.

but i am constantly, CONSTANTLY, looking at other women. at the gym, at the store, etc etc. i'm uber-sexual, my gf has commented on this, it's just how my brain works. i think about sex with other women like all day every day.

but there's nothing wrong with that. you can have fantasies about other girls, you can want to have sex with other women as long as you don't act on it.

that's where i struggle though.

i'll occasionally be sitting at the gym or the store or whatever and i'll seriously hope so bad that a girl will come up and start to flirt with me. and i'd flirt back. i was a big kid, real big, i never got any attention from women until i basically met my gf, so attention just feels so good to me. i literally get off on it. but i'd never do more than that, right?

apparently not. my gf and i spent new years apart, she lives kind of far away. i vividly remember, i saw this girl i hadn't seen in awhile (she hadn't seen me since i lost weight/got muscles) and we talked for legit that whole night, we were so close that whole night (like 6-8 hours) that the party host thought we were leaving together when we left EVEN THOUGH the party host knows i'm not single. and I remember sitting next to her -- probably too close -- and thinking (admittedly a little tipsy) "if she wanted to make out right now, I'd be down"

and that's where I get worried. like I would have been open to that so easily. i understand why people cheat and that's so shitty and i never want to do it but it's just tough to suppress sometimes.

>>17998784

so my advice is this. what i'm trying to do is just have the fantasies. jack off to thoughts of other women, jack off to the stories you make in your head, imagine them but never do them. it's not as fulfilling as the fantasy being real might be, but i mean, with your gf, you already have a fantasy being real. you know what i mean? like people fantasize about the shit you already have. i don't know, that's just how i see it.

>>17998784
I definitely feel you with the attention thing. It just feels good to be desired. And it's not like my girlfriend doesn't show me that she wants me. She is great with that. It's just the ability to attract. It feels good.

But I'm also like you in that I can flirt and be right there, can easily make the move, but decide not to. That's good and all but what if one time I do that with the wrong (or right?) girl and I can't resist? She played her cards perfectly and I'm a sucker. Scary shit man. Hang in there bro we can do this