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32 soon, still single woman

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Hey /adv/
I'm looking at my 32nd birthday really soon and I'm starting to get a bit worried. I've had a hard time getting into relationships, more specifically, I really don't fall in love easily. It doesn't help that I'm a bit autistic, somewhere on the spectrum but not full blown so I'm still sociable enough, just introverted and sometimes a bit weird. It just took a long time for me to fall in love both times, they were good friends first. When I really love someone it's solid, once 6 years, then 4 years. I've been single for a bit over a year now. I'm over my last boyfriend, and I left him because he said he didn't want to move in together, marry or have children. The first one cheated on me and then left, but we were supposed to get married, so that was painful.

I know I'm a massive cliché and you'll all laugh but I really want a relationship again, a family, babies, that sort of stuff.

I do my best to go out (church, hobbies, large get together with common friends), I have been on some dates usually, like I'll go out a couple of times, dinner and a movie sort of stuff, but somehow nothing ignites? Then I usually stop things because I don't want to string people along.

I don't want to be the super venal person who starts thinking who is the best provider and the most likely to want kids and get with him while being lukewarm about the person. It's not that I think I can do better and hold out, it's just that I can't see myself pretending along just to get the marriage and babies I want, and screwing someone over in the process. It's going to end badly anyway.
However I don't want to end up alone either.

Do I simply give it more time or am I doing something wrong?

I'm 30, staring down 31, as a guy with some of the same issues. I don't want to settle, but I do unfortunately approach most dates with the mindset of "well, at this age, I need to consider if this person is long term material... right?"

I mean, I'm not committed to marriage or kids like it sounds like you are, but in the back of my head it does seem like the next step.

I think you're mostly on the right track, but maybe need to switch it up. Have you tried online dating at all? I actually know of a fair amount of success stories from there around our age.

You're going to have to filter out a lot of shit, but it's a decent first step.

Good luck anon!
I might try online dating. I have the advantage that I look good for my age, some girls really have let themselves go by now.

Do you think I should mention the autism thing on the profile or not at all?
You guys should just meet up, maybe something will come out of it.
I'm not in the US, so I doubt it.

Nah, I think focusing on your autism isn't necessary. I'm assuming you mean some kind of Aspergers, right? Not like, needs a special classroom or special care autism? I think you can sell yourself as a little shy and quirky instead of autistic, which some guys will find cute. You at least have that benefit.

You'll find some likeminded people in online dating for sure.


Haha, I'm generally not in the business of picking people up on 4chan. Besides, I doubt said person lives anywhere near Vegas.
oh fuck i am single too 31, male. it's hard, life is hard. i am just dissapointed with the notion of being a grown up. i do everyting alone, it is fucking miserable. do what you can your biological clock is ticking away.

I'm the guy from the first couple of posts, why are you so alone? No friends to go hang out with? I mean, I'd like a relationship, but I'm perfectly happy being single too.

Why don't you hang out with some pals?
they are all married and settled, you know how it is. you want to call but you think it's not a good idea. not many of people left single at our age. i sometimes think of being that guy going to bars alone to drink away the sadness, do you think it is a good idea?

I think there's still plenty of single guys out there at our age - I have an easy time finding a pal to go hang out with at the bar or go do something with for the most part.

I think being afraid of calling is a bad idea - those dudes probably wanna get away from the old lady as much as possible, so just give it a try.

I end up in bars alone sometimes, but not to drink away the sadness, just because I like to have a meal, get out for a bit, talk to the bartenders, that kind of thing. I meet a lot of perfectly normal people that way, which is probably why I don't feel too lonely. I go out to lunch weekly with my bartenders and a couple of regulars, we're all pals, and mostly single or whatever.
You sound like me, sept male 31. Least I have work to occupy my mind, but boy is it sinking in.
funny thing too, recently i asked a girl (she's 25) to marry me. She didn't wanna move in with me, week or two later though, she was talking about guys on badoo.. so yeh, losing hope really. Soon as the turned me down though, kept looking, but really, nothing around me is worth the effort, or they are much younger than they seem and I end up bummed out about it.

Shit is getting old.

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