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Anonymous
irrational fear of sex/HIV 2017-01-26 06:06:44 Post No. 17994666
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irrational fear of sex/HIV 2017-01-26 06:06:44 Post No. 17994666
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i'm mtf and when i was younger i was heavy into drugs and alcohol and very sexually promiscuous. had sex with a lot of random men, some found sketchy ways online. think i was kinda bordering on suicidal and just didn't care about anything. but now i'm doing a lot better.
i'm sober, employed, and haven't even had sex in like 2 years. kinda worried that i'll never have sex again because i'm scared of it and guys never seem to want to actually date me. it would be easy to go out and get laid, but finding a date? impossible. so that sucks.
whenever my throat feels sore or my head hurts or it burns to pee i immediately think i have HIV and start to freak out and worry about my family and how much life is going to suck with AIDS. i have been tested twice but they were both rapid tests and i worry they were both false negatives. feels like i'm at massive risk of HIV infection because i'm trans and like men, and have used needle drugs in the past (never shared a needle though). like if someone does have HIV it's probably me and it's in the latent stage now and sometime soon i'll wake up with health problems and it will be AIDS.
kinda hate my life.
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>>17994666
you didnt have to false negatives. wanna prove me wrong? go get another test.
>B-BUT IM SCARED.
no one cares. do it or stop posting.
and if you're really scared, just get on truvada. it makes you 99% protection against catching HIV.
having hiv isnt so bad these days either, my ex has HIV, my boss has HIV both are 'undetectable' because of the medication. hiv people used to be worried about getting sick now hiv people dont get sick at all because the hiv suppressant boosts their immune system so much they can rarely even catch a common cold.
according to my boss they're even close to a cure.
ultimately if you use truvada you'll be fine.
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>>17994689
who can afford that, though? it's like $1,500 usd for a month's worth
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>>17994666
Find another gay man in denial and copulate. You've already done the hard part. At least he doesn't have to pretend to be a woman in order to pretend to not be gay.
Then you'll be two gay men in denial and as long as you don't look like a complete freak (yet), you'll be able to pass as straight for some time.
But have no illusions: chopping your dick off and pushing some plastic into your chest will not make you any more of a woman than photoshopping a few zeros in my bank account will make me a millionaire.
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>>17994704
people with insurance. its only 30 bucks a month.
plus if you live remotely close to an urban place you can get it for free
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>>17994725
so very much about this post is confusing.
>>17994732
$30/month? are you on it? do i just need to talk to a GP to get a script?
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>>17994748
>are you on it
not at the moment as i had a rare reaction to it, but i was on it off adn on for two years. it was 30 a month with my insurance.
you can talk to your GP but a lot of them dont know it exists so is hard to explain depends how gay heavy your town is. if he is simply unwilling try to find more of a specialist or another doc and ask if they prescribe truvada before going in.
the only down side is you need blood tests every 3 months.
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