I don't even know anymore

>>17992209

whats the one thing that makes you happy?

>>17992222

but as a general rule, finding other things that make you happy. but tell us what this thing is.

>>17992224
Yes this.

There's never just ONE thing that makes you happy. There's never just ONE person you could love. There's never just ONE place that you'll ever feel at home. Adapt.

I don't mean to be flippant. It fucking sucks not to be able to do something that brings you joy. Maybe you've never felt as much joy as you have when you were doing this thing. It's awful to lose that, and I hope you can take time to grieve. But then, the next step is to find something else that you enjoy. I promise, there will be something else.

>>17992222
OP here.

Long short story: what makes me really happy is not a person: it is creating. Doing something creative. Especially music. I wanted to make music since I was a child and I dedicated my life to do it, yet I failed to "make it".

Because of it, I literally have zero friends, no girlfriend. I USED to have one but we broke up when I was forced by my parents and grandma to find a job and had to move back to my hometown because of it.

Now I'm all alone, working in a shitty job I hate even at the weekends, have zero time to do what I like and even less time to make new acquaintances.

I make money, I save money, but it means nothing when I feel like shit all the time

>>17992239
Everything I tried doing after it was a failure. Tried new careers, tried to find new interests, hobbies, yet in the end of the day I felt empty and had this feeling of being destroyed.

>>17992239

the job you have now is not the only job in the world, get another job and continue to produce music independently.

>>17992244
I was searching for a job in the past 1,5 years before I found this one.

In this shitty country I live, literally every job can only be occupied if you're a friend or family member of the boss(es). And yes, I only found this job because my mother know the wife of the boss. That's all.

>>17992248

okay,so you dont want advice, thread closed.

>>17992250
I want, sorry if I sound like an asshole but I'm extremely angry and sad

I'm literally searching for a part-time job at this moment too, and I REALLY hope I find one because that would be more than perfect for me. But no success for a while.

>>17992253

success takes a couple of whiles. but if oyu insist you cant ever get another job ever, then delete the thread cuz you're not asking for advice you're just whining.

>>17992256
>success takes a couple of whiles. but if oyu insist you cant ever get another job ever, then delete the thread cuz you're not asking for advice you're just whining.

You're right. I'm trying to calm down for now. Thanks for the help.

Also, would you suggest doing the job for a few months until I collect some money, or quitting asap is a better choice in this case?

>>17992262

therse no point in quitting if you have no money and the job markets as tough as it seems.

my advice is always to just put in extra time. its exhausting to job hunt after work, but a few months of exhaustion can lead to a life time of happiness.

if in that time you save up enough moeny to take care of yourself while doubling your efforts than go ahead and quit.

but quitting without any leads is not smart

>>17992265
Agreed. Search for a part-time job while also working. Once you find something, then quit.

>>17992209

At first I was sympathetic, because I'm in the same spot as you, but after reading it, this is thread is pissing me off, frankly. You keep saying you can't do what you love like it's a permanent fucking thing. It's not. You're in a slump now, sure, and you may not be a musical professional, but not many make it right away. Your job may be shit, but probably you still have some free time you can use to pursure either the dream you have, a new job or any alternative. It's not over for you, there's still potential that it might turn better for you, if you work for it and if the circumstances improve.
I loved a sport and it distroyed both my knees and I'll never do what I love again, because I physically can't. You have no idea how this type of whining about "can't"s pisses me off, when your situation is still entirely open and anything could happen. It might be shit in the meantime, but it's not fucking over yet.

Go sit in the corner of some crowded street intersection and make music for tips.

Live like a hobo for a while maybe, but you'll be happy. Get better, maybe catch a break. Or at least get some real gigs performing in bars and shit.

What do you play?

>>17992333
I actually messaged a cruiser yesterday if they're looking for a musician. Still waiting for their reply.

I'm a pianist, and my specialty is improvising.

>>17992239
what instruments do you play? how long have you been playing? Do you write songs? How many have you written? Have anything I can listen to online like Bandcamp or a facebook page, etc.?