why do I have to live through this?

>can i even be fixed

you're not even broken, just a little lost.

sometimes if you want something good in life, you got to put in a little work to get it. unfortunately just looking at your life as suffering is not work. it sucks about as much as the work, but its directionless.

decide what you want, even if its just to give it a try, and then go for it.

you hate your job, but doing nothing wont fix that. you have to get off your ass and apply. its hard when you already work so much, but putting in a little extra work for job hunting now can lead to a lifetime of happines later.

>>17992203

I have been putting in work though, I have been going to many interviews and don't get anywhere. There arent jobs I could get hired for aside from minimum wage stuff since I got no decent qualifications. Even still what would having a good job provide me with? I don't care for money. Lost does sound accurate though, how can I find my way back to normality if the hand I have been dealt makes that near impossible. By no means do I sit on my ass I am looked up to almost by the people around me for my get it sorted because im not really scared of stuff I will say anything to anyone or do anything but that ability alone just cant carry me when I cant apply myself to anything

>>17992238

it takes time..

>no qualifications

well if you know a job youd like that needs qualifications than put in the work for that. get qualified. its not as easy as it sounds i know, but worth the effort

>what will a job provide me with

nto suffering? you hate your current job, so finding one you dont hate would be a step up, dont play dumb

>>17992241
But I dont hate my current job thats far too strong of a word. Its boring. I can do it and can find enjoyment occasionally but its not something I want to be doing.
Assuming I found something I wanted to do (not so easy believe me I think about it often) and assuming I could pay the cost of a qualification, It would be atleast 2 years from now I would have it, possibly 3 or 4 depending on what level the qualification is I would be the other side of 26 and essentially starting a fresh again. im sick to fucking death of starting a fresh I Have moved house 13 times so far and every single social circle before the one I have now doesnt exist any more. I can't deal with that again. I cant stay where I am and do these things because another move is already on cards.

>>17992260

too bad? you're literally saying at this point that you dont want to have to put in the work to have a better life.

tahts fine, jsut suffer for the rest of your life then.

>>17992267

What defines a better life though?

I cant even picture what a nice life would be like, I cant imagine not having a weight over my head all the time telling me it doesnt matter what I do because its bound to go to shit. I did tell myself I would have killed myself by now if things don't improve and if I am still feeling that way whats to say this isnt going to go on indefinitely even though I have been making "positive steps" the last 2 years. live the rest of my life unable to be on my own without my own mind eating me up.

>>17992282

look at the bright side.

>>17992238
You could always volunteer in Africa or India. There's no shortage of starving children and AIDS misinformation in these countries. You can even feel better about yourself as a person.

>>17992299

I have explored this option before but I'd probably end up getting raped or killed as a result of me being transgender in those countries

>>17992303
More likely doesn't mean likely. If I have happa kids with my Korean wife, they are more likely to go on a murder spree than fully white kids, but the chances are still ludicrously small. I couldn't imagine not experiencing all the love in the world in my life with my wife on the off chance something ridiculously unlikely might happen.

>>17992187
Connect with nature. Find out how to follow your intuition. Detox your body. If you are so certain your life will never get better, then it never will.

have you posted here before?