Breakup advice

>>17991857
Women are trash nowadays. So many girls in relationships with nice guys that have tried to fuck me after my ex fucked me over.

Women are fucking trash and we should bring back slut-shaming cause they can't keep their legs closed unless someone dictates them. Sad state of affairs, but it is what it is and I'll say it again: women are trash. Go your own way, Anon.

>>17991857
Sounds like you dodged a bullet there

You're the one who broke it off, so you know it's the right thing to do. It's hard to come back to that mindset when you're heartbroken. But just remember that if you were to get back with her, it would satisfy you for a second and then it would be an even worse shit show than before.

It may help to write bullet point notes as to why the relationship didn't work out. When you're feeling down, read your notes. This is what I did to get myself to sleep at night when my ex broke up with me and it worked wonders. My emotional brain kept looping through happy moments with my ex. Then I would read my notes and my brain would snap out of it pretty quickly.

The ex boyfriend thing must make you feel pretty shitty. But I think you're thinking of it in the wrong way. She likely isn't back with him because you meant nothing to her. Rather, she needs someone to depend on. There is zero chance that what they have is a healthy relationship.

Of course, the best thing you can do to ease the pain is to sleep with other girls. It will really boost up your self esteem, trust me. Good luck man you'll pull through. Given enough time, you'll lose virtually all feeling for her.

>>17991868
>>17991868
I dated her for 9 months and still care about her. She didn't go back to him because of sex (believe me, he's a loser), she went back because she's going through a difficult time and needs a shoulder to cry on. The reason she broke up with me is that I told her a joke about needing attention and she took it personally. She recently got a DUI and has been on academic probation and she feels like her life is in the shitter. I think the reason she took the joke so personally is because deep down she knows that attention is all she's after.

>>17991883
Funny, my dad told me the same thing. He said down the line I'll look back and realize that.

>>17991868
You sound like a normal, well rounded human being who no doubt interacts with other, equally mature and intelligent individuals.

>>17991868
Yeah, it's women, not people! Men are perfect and never hurt anyone

>>17991887
>she needs someone to depend on

This is exactly it. She broke up with him in the first place because I (as her friend) was giving her more attention than he was. She is very codependent and I think she made a huge mistake going back to him instead of just allowing herself time to heal and get her shit together.

>>17991857
>breaks up with girl
>calls her a week later to "see how she's doing"
>girlfriend has moved on
>OP wonders why he's depressed

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>>17991922
Thanks

>>17991891
>>17991895
Shut up skanks, I've been through the lots of you both long term and short and you are all despicable whores. Even fucked some of you before realizing you have boyfriends who respect you and are good guys and you still fuck them over.

Fuck off skanks

shes co dependent. she left you thinking she could do better than realized she couldnt. she begged you to stay because you were her best option. then when you were a man and turned her down, she went for the next best thing, someone worse than you.

take pride that you ewre the best, and so good that you knew not to put up wiht her shit.

you were a complete enough person to say you dont need her. she wasn't complete enough to be alone at all.

>>17992214
While this makes me feel better about myself it makes me pity her. I spoke to my psychologist today over the phone about the possibility of them breaking up and her coming back to me. If that happens, will I be strong enough to say no? I can't say.

But I do have a plan if/when that happens. I'm going to tell her that she made a horrible mistake going back to her other ex. I want to tell her that she needs time to herself, to heal emotionally and be her own person. I'll tell her that if in 6 months' time she still wants to meet with me, then I will. Despite everything she did, all the emotional trauma and getting back with her other ex, I still care about her and I feel terrible knowing that she's hurting.

Her calling me in a few months may just be a dream of mine, a dream that fades with time. But I can always hope.

>>17992257

id let it go. its only going to hold you back.

>>17992275
I know that right now what's important is that I'm the best version of myself that I can be. These thoughts will come and go. But regardless of what happens I know I can be happy with or without her.

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>>17992091

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The control they want over you is through disrespect.
They don't play with the feelings of people they respect.
SHe's probably a feminist and you're being played even though you don't understand you are.

would you accept the disrespect of her acting like a bitch the night before, and the day after, she actually understands that you're a man with no spine. and they rule you over; women are that simple minded, and always looked down on because they behave like manipulative children, only that you can choose to be manipulated if you want.

>>17991868

Don't end up like a bitter beta like this anon.

Misogyny is a sign of weakness.

>>17991857
just get a new girl asap

mak sure she is prettier too,
its the only way to forget about an ex

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>>17991888
You're dad, if anything, is a wise dude. Listen to him, you're lucky to have him.

>>17993086
>your

Also, her going ballistic indicates she wanted to break it off for some time, or at least had some major fucking issue she never talked out with you. Yeah, she tried to get you to stay when you came by the next day, but a phone break-up? Fuck that, you're better off.

>>17991888
I remember your previous thread. She's still a weak, garbage person looking for attention. And I'll repeat what I said: if she could so quickly go back to her ex, I don't doubt that they've been talking for longer than that. She blew up at you over literally nothing.

>>17993113
Eh, sorry for the second thread about this. I honestly don't think she was talking to him behind my back. He is beta as FUCK. It would be no surprise to me that he's been single for the past (almost) year and jumped at the chance to be her shoulder to cry on. And she's codependent, so her calling him so soon after all this happened doesn't surprise me either. I'm not ignoring the possibility; just telling you what I think actually happened.

But now that she's been with me for so long, and him being... well, him, I wonder how long it'll last. It's really only a matter of time; even if they get married years down the line I wouldn't doubt a divorce for one second. He didn't give her the time of day when they were together, and his only redeeming quality is that he's smart. Other than that he's a chubby, dorito-chomping gamer. He'll take her for granted just like he did last time and she'll realize what a chump he is (again).

>>17993151
But again... I can't help but care about her, despite all of this. I still have the Christmas gift she gave back in my car. I keep it in the trunk in the hopes of giving it back one day, even if it's just as a friend.

>>17993151
It doesn't matter how terrible they are for each other or how codependent she is. She's still using this guy after treating you like garbage. She's not willing to work things out with you or trying to better herself. I feel like you're using these as excuses to justify your feelings for her. Which is understandable, given how much you care for her. But don't let that cloud your judgement too much.

>>17991857
u should eat a lot to cope when you need to study. u dont want a psychologist when u have a lot of work theyll just waste your time. and she sounds bipolar.

>>17993283
Look I know how she treated me. She took something that she should've shrugged off as a joke and turned it into a huge event to take out her frustration on me. It wasn't even the first time she had flipped her lid over something petty. I'm not trying to justify any of her actions. But she's not a bad person. And no matter how many fights or misunderstandings we ever had, I always knew that deep down she cared about me. She encouraged me to study even after being put on academic probation. She made me question whether I really want to go into medicine, or if my mother were just pushing it onto me. She apologized all the time for being a stressful mess. So as attention hungry as she may be, I never once doubted that she had my best interest at heart.

>>17991857

Look, it's more than likely that she rebounded HARD. What happened is that after you left her and ignored her she was feeling super worthless, so she chatted up her ex and he took the free meat. I won't justify her actions or your actions but this is the thought process. How do you win her back? It will be hard if you want her; he took care of her when she was vulnerable so now she's his bitch.

>>17993326
>She took something that she should've shrugged off as a joke and turned it into a huge event to take out her frustration on me. It wasn't even the first time she had flipped her lid over something petty.
Maybe I have higher standards, but I don't do that to loved ones and my loved ones don't do that to me. We talk about things like adults and ask for space/understanding. She's not the only person in the world under a lot of stress either.

>So as attention hungry as she may be, I never once doubted that she had my best interest at heart.
Really? From what you've posted here, that's quite the opposite. Bad people don't do bad things all the time, they can have good qualities as well (which makes it difficult to leave them when they're doing bad things; people gloss over the bad and only think of the good).

>>17993378
Well considering he called me and told me that she wants nothing to do with me anymore I'd say it will be hard, at least for the time being. But I'm not trying to win her back right now. I'm just going through the emotional train wreck that is a breakup.

>>17993416
I'm pretty adamant about her being a good person. She needs a lot of redirection and mental help, yes, but she's not inherently "bad." More than anything, I want her to be happy with herself rather than having to depend on a relationship to do it for her.

>>17991888
>>17993167

torch the gift or return it. Your ex-girl is trash and you'll forget her in time. I know she seems like everything but she will fade and most likely keep making bad decisions.

>>17991857
imagine how empty she had to feel to have a rebound relationship with her ex only to make you feel bad about it, i say she is worthless.
move on man. at first you will miss her because you choose to remember all her good things, but remember the bad things too, the things that made you end the relationship