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And holy shit does it suck ass. I'm seriously at an all-time low here, guys. I just don't know what to do anymore, if it's ever going to get better. I always believed the rumors that the first few days are the worst, but for me, it just keeps going downhill with every day that passes. I'm becoming more depressed, more suicidal, more agitated and violent, more anxious, tense and nervous. I guess I'm lucky that I live in a nogunz country, because if I had one, I would stick it to my head and pull the trigger without a second thought. Life is just a sheer pit of misery. I've forced myself to the psychiatric emergency room twice in the past week for planning to kill myself, but both times they released me (I have a history of factitious disorder, so they think I'm just attention whoring.) Does anyone have any idea what the fuck I can do to get my life in order again? I'm just hopeless here. A small part of me still wants to live, that's why I'm writing this, but I just don't know anymore, I honestly just don't.
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>>17991660
Find support groups of the AA kind or just a really good friend you can be a real drag on for a few days while you use him to help you through this.
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>>17991660
are you off of like, psych meds that have been prescribed to you for specific conditions, or like, recreational drugs? Because it can be dangerous to quit prescription drugs cold turkey
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>>17991677
>Implying I have friends
You quite underestimate just how fucked up I am.
>>17991686
Both. Wasn't my choice though, part of the reason they pulled me off the medical drugs too was because I was getting addicted to those as well.
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>>17991660
>>17991660
Know that you will forever have the addiction, but only you decide if the addiction will have you.
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What drug?
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>>17991660
I suggest you take up running. Listen, i want to make a point here so hear me out, OK? If you are out of shape don't run, just walk.
Walking or running for hours every day will help your depression by letting you see different environments and surroundings in a human pace. The variety of scenery will keep your mind busy.
If you are in a reasonably good shape, by that i mean able to run, then the stress and strain you put your body through will be a distraction from your physical cravings.
And on the plus side, by the summer you will be in mad shape if you do this. You will have unbelievable energy and you will not get tired from work anymore.
Do not run in circles. Walk ten miles in one direction and then back a different route, or take the bus back or whatever is convenient in your location. Just make sure you see varied sceneries.
Please consider it. And give it a real try. Good luck.
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>>17991935
Agreed. Start working out. A lot. Make your diet bulletproof. Clean food only, no garbage. Lift and run. Get a personal trainer or someone to push you. You'll look back in 6 weeks and feel like a god
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