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So I was ghosted a year ago by oneitis. I've had feelings of numbness, guilt, etc.
I consider myself to be selfish on the inside. I have always had a hard time with empathy. So normally I would just care about the other person obsessing over me, and if they leave, then fuck them.
But for some reason, I feel this new feeling for him. Of course I wish more than anything that he regrets it. But I also feel this thing that I genuinely want him to be happy.
Sometimes I feel the desire to just see what he is doing and if he is content.
I faked caring about him at first to make him like me, but it's not until now I realize how much we have in common and how special he really was. And if I could go back I would have been more genuine.
I have a new bf, and I don't feel quite that way with him. I love him, but I could care less if his feelings get hurt by anyone.
I just find it hard to believe that someone as self centered as me could consider someone else's well being so much. Especially someone who hurt me so much. Is it fake? What does this all mean?
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It means you need to get laid.
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>>17990870
What you're feeling is affection. The thing which you have used to manipulate men toward their own misery. That feeling you have for him now, caring for his well being, attraction, wanting to be honest and good to him, these are all symptoms of love.
It's just too bad you don't deserve him for a single fucking second. He probably ghosted you because of what a piece of shit you are, and he figured you out.
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>>17990881
You are right.
I hate myself so much. So so much and I cannot live with it.
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>>17990904
Why not get laid? It does wonders for you.
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>>17990914
I'm not a slut
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This is karma. You're feeling this way to learn the lesson and not do it again. I've had a similar experience from in your position and am continuing the feel the consequences now that the tables have turned.
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The woman I have loved since I was in elementary school, the first person I fell in love with and am still in love with, blocked me because I am toxic. I made a second FB to message her and apologize, but she clearly wants nothing to do with me. I'm doing terribly and she's doing great. I used to be smart and driven and attractive and successful, without really even trying. Over the last few years I have become the absolute fucking worst. How do I get better? How do I get back what I lost? What changed?
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>>17990870
>I love him, but I could care less if his feelings get hurt by anyone.
You don't love him.
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>>17992588
I am sorry to hear that anon :/
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>>17992160
It sucks. I hope the tables turn again someday. And I hope you are able to move on.
If this is affection than does it mean he was the one? If this is love then I guess I don't fall in love easily.
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