So I have this friend..

He's an alpha; you're a beta.

If it bothers you that much, just stop seeing him. There is absolutely nothing you can do in this situation, besides "growing" into an alpha yourself. People will listen to him and pay more attention to him than you. Just like an ugly girl hanging out with her super hot friend

you just walk up to the biggest strongest guy in the room and you just sucker punch the shit out of him. LIFE TIP.

Serious question Anon, why do you care?
consider doing the following:
>Going to the gym frequently
>self improvement in general
>stop giving a shit about other people's opinions
>be neutral
>Stop thinking you're a loser
Your moment of glory will come some day, and it will be better than his, trust me. But for that, do me and yourself a favor. Work on these points, the rest will follow.

>>17990490
I already extradited myself from the group and have stopped talking to him. Not that he cares or they care.

It sucks because I did think of him as a friend. Then it occurred to me that he was "better" and that started hanging over me like a fucking storm cloud.

>>17990493
Kek, if only.

>>17990497
>Then it occurred to me that he was "better" and that started hanging over me like a fucking storm cloud.

stop comparing yourself to people and just have love for everyone. that is how you become a likable person , like him.

>>17990510
>that is how you become a likable person

Come on we know that's not all it takes.

I would love to stop comparing myself to people, but how do I achieve that really?

>>17990494
>why do you care?

Because I'm majorly insecure about how long it's taken me to get where I am, when there's people doing more at a much faster pace

>going to the gym frequently
Yep, been holding off on that, should really start as early as tomorrow though.

>>17990531

Literally anything you want to learn how to do in your entire life is just setting up a habit.

Next time you catch yourself comparing yourself to people, think to yourself "I shouldn't do this, I'm perfect as I am, I'm the best person I can be" (Obviously it helps if you're actually striving to be the best you can be). Do it enough times, and it will be your reality.

There is literally no reason to compare yourself to another person. You have different biology, different life experience, different situation. You can use people as models for something you want to strive towards, but don't look at them and compare yourself as inferior/superior. The most likable people I know just have a consistently good mood and good will towards everyone always.

>>17990536
>Because I'm majorly insecure about how long it's taken me to get where I am, when there's people doing more at a much faster pace

Don't compare yourself to others.
Some people were dealt a better hand when they were born, others were dealt a shitty hand. Just consider lucky you're (I assume) a white American male. That's a great set of cards

>>17990548
Haha, nah, I'm not white, and I am really short. But I'd rather not get into that now. Lest I start comparing myself to you privileged white american men (this is mostly a joke)

>>17990539
This is really good advice for me, thank you.

>>17990559
Well you know what I meant bro some people have it way worse than you

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333KB, 1616x2560px

>>17990559

And read this shit. Twice. And once every year after that.

>>17990483

Have you been the best you that you could be?

If not, then you should feel inadequate for not living up to your potential. Don't take it in a bad way, it's easy to get bogged down by a lack of confidence. This is your body telling you that there are things you need to be doing, even if they seem hard.

You'll live without those friends, but if it feels like a problem to you then solve it. By the end of taking that road you'll have met many more friends who are more well suited to you through your development.

>>17990570
I've not been, I mean I'm not completely awful but I'm still not where I want to be, physically, emotionally, with girls etc.. This I think is what bothers me the most.

>>17990563
It's fine, I do know what you meant, although I have to say I can't "unsee" the advantage being white can bring, ever since first discovering it. This is where I guess it's important not to compare myself - the friend aforementioned is tall AND white and sometimes I think, "do some people just go for him because he's in a more prestigious demographic physically?" Please note, I don't really want to believe that's true, but sometimes I get curious about it, and wonder if there's a glass ceiling for me that's lower than his.

>>17990483
Takeaway is everyone is different

We all have limits based on our genetic make up. But be the best you can be physically, mentally, and spiritually; that's all that you can do anyway.

Be confident with who you are and that's all that matters.

Surely he has his own problems. The thing is, he probably isn't an insecure fuck like you, OP. To get over it you have to get over youself.

>>17990588
Everyone has "disadvantages" like that. It just makes you the person you are, you are not any worse for it.

Just as an example: you might consider it an advantage to be a native English speaker, but they're shit at communication with non-native speakers. In a multinational organisation they are actually at a disadvantage because they are unaware of other people's language levels, whereas non-native speakers automatically learn to take this into account.

Not everything's as black and white. If your friend isn't aware of his role within a group, his dominance within conversations is reducing other people's contributions to a conversation. That is not a good thing and it is probably not an issue you need to take into account.

>>17991275
Good points. You're right that he kind of dominates the convo in a way, and truth be told I don't know how *everyone* feels about that. At times it feels like he is just venting on and on just to hear himself talk. I get that everyone's favorite subject is themselves, but I don't know of anybody that's so interesting that everyone wants to listen to them go on and on about their latest girl problems or whatever.

>>17991199
lol good point

>>17990606
This is true. I don't think I've reached my limit yet which is a good thing, it means I have room for improvement and don't have to be complacent with where I am right now. Thanks for the advice.

>>17990588
>"do some people just go for him because he's in a more prestigious demographic physically?"
Yes, this can definitely happen. Even with hetero guy to hetero guy. I always thought it was gay, it's just people kissing ass.

>>17990483
I feel like I should say sorry to you since I'm the same way to my group, and there's one guy whose been my best friend that I excessively flaunt around. He's gotten angry about it few times and now we don't feel as close as we used to be. Hell, we rarely send messages to each other and only meet when everyone is around.

I dunno, what is it that you want to beat him in? If it's education, you just have to work harder, but seeming smart to others is usually knowing a lot of relevant trivia stuff or just being able to form a strong arguments, and you can easily get both from the internet.
Charisma and social skills can be learned and there are great books out there for it, but it really comes from putting it into practice. Same goes for any sports or games that you want to get better at.
I can't tell you that you'll ever be better than him in looks, but as long as you stay relatively fit and dress up for the occasion, I'd say you're good.

You can't be better than him since it seems like a lot of it is in your head(possibly fueled by your friend). So you can either not care about it anymore, or bring yourself to a level of human quality you can accept, or just get really good at something specific and get better than him at it.

>>17992351
I don't want to beat him, I simply don't want to be left behind. For example we are both really into photography but his shots are always far more popular than mine on social media etc. He also seems to have more women who are interested in him so I feel as though he is more interesting/attractive. He swears he goes through the same stuff but it feels like he always a couple steps ahead.