I don't fucking know anymore!!

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>be me
>be 20
>live in DC area
>nothing on this topic really shocks me anymore
>walk into game store
>around 8ish (pretty late for a hobby shop)
>be only guy there besides owner and two other people
>see girl and guy playing war hammer at one of the tables
>"cool! A female nerd that likes board games like me!"
>see only back/side of her, but of what I saw it was a 8/10 qt
>my age
>skinny, but fit
>knee high white polkadot dress
>leggings that went into doc martins
>allofmyweaknesses.png
>walk to other side of store to look at some stuff.
>listing to them in the background
>hear the other dude talking with the store owner about some stuff
>"huh, that's weird, she hasn't talked the entire time. I hope she's ok."
>walk past their table to look at some of the paints
>"w-why is there three male voices if there's only two guys."
>drop paint canister
>qt picks it up
>looks at me with the most beautiful face
>IN THE MOST MANLY FUCKING VOICE
>"here you go."
>"o-oh, thanks heh."
>FUCKTHAT.webm
>ABORT MISSON, ABORT MISSON.
>AIN'T GONNA GET TRAPPED BY TRAP
>grab shit I need and go to checkout
>at register
>look over again
>still looks like gorgeous qt
>feel happy looking at (((her)))
>feel disgust in myself
>cringe
>leave in pain

What the fuck is wrong with me?
This isn't one of your animoos fucko!
Should I just kill myself already?
Still feel attracted when I think about it!

>first time I've actually been attracted to this shit!!
>feelsreallyfuckingbadman