Disgruntled with sexuality

>>17989219

Why tell us?

Sex is fun and it feels good.

>>17989219

rejecting sex doesn't really make you better than anyone who has sex.

the problem here isn't that sex is everywhere so much as you think you're above it.

i get your basic sentiment i have a similar issue with romance, because people act like romance and dating are the end goals of life.

>>17989219

>Boohoo people enjoy their right to live how the fuck they want

Aren't you a special little snowflake, all pissed off that people do what their biology has wired them to do. You've made your choice, good for you, but what other people choose to do isn't really your concern.

>itt: virgins and sexually "traumatized" people vent their bitterness about sexually happy people

>>17989219

I don't really see why other people fucking is a problem of yours. Unless you actually want that life.

>>17989223
>>17989227

It just really bothers me how it's so casual.

People say "go fuck a new girl and you'll feel better. You deserve it" like it's a game or something. Or how this girl who's been flirting with me, regardless if I have sex with her or not, she will probably be fucking someone else in a few weeks/months.

It's just so casual, and so expected, pushed, and FORCED by society. Music is all about sex, movies and TV shows are full of it. It makes this impression that if you DON'T do it. You're wrong.

>>17989219

Look at the circle jerking diva. This isn't your blog. Sate your sexual urges by fucking yourself mate.

Yeah, I find it frustrating since I myself have a near non existent sex drive, but my drive for "emotional companionship" love, and nonsexual human presence is over 9000.
I don't care about the sex, but I want to be cuddled and held 24/7. I want to be around someone 24/7, I hate spending every night alone.
But to get what I want, sex is basically necessary.
>inb4 there are guys out there who feel the same way
Yeah theres an extremely small minority of both men and women with this mindset, but the likelyhood of ever meeting them in a way that will be agreeable and work out for both parties is extremely slim. The vast majority of the population has a much higher sex drive than me, the vast majority of guys I will come in contact within my life, will want to have sex eventually.
It's not that I'm completely asexual, nah, I want to get off every now and then too. But the type of sex I like is not the type of sex most guys want. Or at least, want exclusively.

In a nutshell, my frustration is mostly because I'm understanding of the hoops I have to jump through just to keep a guy interested, and how difficult it is because it's not really something you can fake. I can pretend to be interested in sex, but I'm not. Most of the time guys see through that, they figure it out that I'm just playing it up for their sake, and then that turns them off.

>>17989266
>boohoo everybody is having sex while I masturbate
>everybody is wrong, I'm masterrace

Good thing that people like you don't take part in the genetic pool

>>17989266

i agree that hteres an over sexualiation of music and other media. but outside of that i think you're just taking peoples opinions too seriously. people are allowed to treat sex however they want and to get upset that someone suggests you deserve to get laid is pretty silly.

>>17989287

That's not what I'm saying

>>17989295

It just seems to be made out to be so cheap. Everyone's fucking everyone. So why? Why do it? What's the point of me swapping fluids with some girl who's done that with 10 other people? Who will just forget about me at some point and go for someone else?

>>17989313

You obviously had very bad sexual experiences, if any...

>>17989320

>You obviously had very bad sexual experiences

yes, my experiences were bad. But why does that matter

>>17989313

(((crawling in my skin))))

Most people don't do that stuff in my experience- It's only certain kinds of people who want to fuck everybody.

Of my friends (early 20sF) about 40% are virgins, and of the 60% who aren't, the overwhelming majority have only had sex with long term boyfriends (or girlfriends, one is gay). I've really only got one friend who could be called a slut.

>>17989313

>why eat spaghetti tonight if you're just going to eat steak tomorrow?

its a literal need, people need to have sex their body tells them to.

plus its fun? whats wrong with having fun

Here you go OP. I think this is probably what you mean (Ignore that it's on plebbit, it's just the relevant sections of the book).

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/thelastpsychiatrist/comments/5iylah/jean_claude_guillebaud_1999_the_tyranny_of/?client=safari

>>17989346

If you had good ones instead of getting paranoid by the bads, you'd understand why other people do what you hate

You're just bitter

>>17989422

I don't know..

>>17989219
Does this sex-rejecting behaviour make you happy?
If so, carry on.
If not, it's unhealthy so drop it.

Pretty simple really

>>17989346
>But why does that matter
Because it keeps you from understanding why someone would desire sex if your own experience has been shit

Most people's complaints about sex are in fact complaints about hook-up culture in disguise.

OP, you're not even angry at sex. You're angry at how sex has become commoditized, dolled out like treats to "good friends" without a hint of romance or passion behind it. You're angry at how sex is seen as a salve to every problem in life, or how it's used as a yardstick to judge masculinity. You're angry about society's perception of sex.

Take that anger, and harness it for change.

I don't understand why you would be so bothered and bitter about what other people think and do if you were actually secure in not having sex "by choice". Plenty of people out there do and like things that I don't, but that doesn't make me bitter. This all sounds like a case of either fox and grapes, or "stop liking what I don't like".

>>17989458

literally only one of those called him a virgin, the others pointed out that OP was being Edgy, which is true.

>>17989452
This.

Not OP, sex is alright and wonderful but hook up culture fucking disgusts me. Not to mention how common cheating is these days.

As a man how do I get over bad sexual experiences? which have made me defensive and untrusting- I don't get why I would get "get close" to someone because I'm sure that It'll be terrible, My mind is building negative connotations around sex all the time and I'm not able to engage women.

Maybe I have to ignore it and see flirting in a different way like a joke or to some other end instead of sex. I really don't know what to do, I've lost control of my sex, I have no motivation, I feel like I need to be fixed by someone, as if I'm broke.

welp I can tell from my writing that my self-esteem is taking a dive, I was having an awesome day, but thinking about sex kills me.

>>17989450

Well what am I suppose to do

>>17989507

whatever you want really. if you secretly yearn to be like other people and are actually just mad that they get to live the life you secretly want, then go to therapy. work out your sexual issues.

if you're comfortable and happy the way you are, then simply let it be an inconvenience the way 'millenials' are an inconvenience to people who dislike them. something that annoys you but doesn't ruin your life.

if the fact that people have sex pushes you to extremes than you need to reconsider why. is it REALLY just the fact that people do?

you also act like you are a unique individual in thinking that sex is something saved for romance. you're not.

>>17989219
I think it's all about preferences OP. I myself don't find sexually promiscuous girls appealing and go for the more reserved ones. I also don't go around fucking every new girl but I can understand if others want to do it, that's how they want to live

>>17989489

By having good ones. There's no secrets.

Also treat dates/flirts as lightheartedly as possible. That's what fucks up most guys in 4chan, overthinking it, overthinking rejections, overthinking sex, basically overthinking the most banal and trivial things revolving everything that has to do with women

>>17989530

>you also act like you are a unique individual in thinking that sex is something saved for romance. you're not.

I've had girls tell me "sex is just sex!". and I don't have romantic relationships. So I get shit on for that too. Fuck this world

>>17989545

OP here, not the guy you replied to.

But what if my new experiences are as shitty or worse than my previous ones?

>>17989557

>ive had girls tell me "sex is just sex!"

I've had girls tell me they liek lasagna. yet many girls dont like lasagna at all.

dont play dumb. just because some girls say something doesn't mean its universal even within your community.

>i dont have romantic relationships

neither do I, but i have sex so people arent that put off by it. the question is do you want romance? if so, pursue.

>>17989564

then get over it? unless you were raped it cant be THAT bad, and looking for sex wont lead to you being raped again so theres that.

what was so shitty about the experience?

>>17989564
This
>>17989571

You only have two options really, stay where you are or try again, and apparently you're not happy doing the first

>>17989571

>then get over it?

How do I even do that?

>what was so shitty about the experiences

First time, I banged this girl in my basement. It was really awkward, I wasn't into it, but she was super into it. She came a few times, I had 1 really pathetically weak orgasm. And just thought "wow.. that was it? I went through all this bullshit for that?" Then I told her she needed to leave. I went upstairs and took a really long shower and watched Futurama while I reflected on what had happened. Looking back, I regret it a lot.

Second time, met bitch off Tinder. Went to her house, we made out on her couch which was awkward. Then she pulled me ontop of her. Questioned if I was a virgin (which pissed me off). She kept making out with me and pushed my head down to her pussy. So I went down on her for a while. She came. Then she pushed me over and blew me while I watched TV. The entire time I was there I felt extremely out of place and uncomfortable. I didn't cum. She then just kinda sat up next to me disappointed. She went and brushed her teeth as I was preparing to leave, she walked up to me and made out with me for about 20 seconds or so. Then I left and drove home. It felt wrong, and that was a huge waste of a day.

>>17989631

>how do i do that?

in most cases, get over it mostly means 'dealing with it'. there is no how. its just an affirmation / realization that it doesn't need to affect the rest of your life. if your life is happy and fine then why does one bad sexual experience (or even several) have to ruin it?

ive had many bad sexual experiences and while they do help guide me through my sexual journeys by knowing what to avoid, they dont hinder or ruin my life, let alone my day.

>those two experiences

those dont sound like BAD experiences, just meh experiences. your first few sexual experiences tend to be something you dont enjoy all that much, because you have no idea what you're doing.

its kinda like riding a bike. its fun sure, but the first few times you fall down and get hurt a lot. doesn't mean everyone else is an asshole for getting back on the bike and figuring it out and saying you shoudl try riding your bike again too.

i cant say what went wrong iwth these, but it sounds like you went into them pretty negative, or at the very least the second time you went in negative. if you arent going in to have fun than you are going to feel uncomfortable, you're esentially molesting yourself.

>>17989652

I didn't enjoy them at all.. I did them because everyone told me "go fuck a girl and you'll feel better". That's what I fucking did, and all it did was hurt my self esteem