Is it me or is it them?

>>17989185

depends. in most cases its neither parties fault, its usually both to some degree. someone might have started the fight but others escalated. it alldepends on what happened.

your mother is worrisome but im the same with my father (though he left us for a year then lied about why). as for friends, it kinda depends. you sound young, possible in college, basically in a big transitional period and you might find that people you were close to ebfore was only because of convenience.

we'd have to dissect each issue seperately and even if you explained it to us, we can't be sure you're telling the whole story.

the best advice is to just talk about why you arent talking out loud. your brain will hear it instead of just thinking it. then you ask yourself. is this petty? are you ignoring people over minor arguments that you take seriously? or are tehy real issues caused by them being bad people?

>>17989213

I'm actually 30, which is what makes this real contentious. I'll try to touch on some of them...

>Mother
I got a new job, she called me a disappointment and a failure because she didn't like the new job, told me I was squandering my future, and kicked my dad out of his house for three days, threatening to divorce him unless he forced me to take my old job back.

>Close Friend 1
I've known this guy 20 years - he and I have always had our squabbles, but he told me I was an awful person and not a trustworthy friend because I was friends with someone he didn't like, and couldn't make it to his girlfriend's kid's rescheduled birthday party. We didn't talk for two years, but he's fallen on some sickness/alcohol related issues and we're at least on speaking terms again.

>Close Friend 2
Actually the guy that #1 didn't like, he's got alcohol problems ever since his dad shot himself while they were on the phone together. He and his brother both fly off the rails when drinking sometimes, but are otherwise good dudes. His brother got a DUI, and I had taken a cab home, so he blamed me for "abandoning him and his brother," since I guess he expected me to get them home safe.

He ended up telling me this while drunk and screaming at 4 AM in a hotel room while we were on vacation. He dropped his pants and pissed on the floor, saying it was a way to pay me back for what his brother has to pay. Security came and I decided just to leave. Haven't talked to him since.

The last isn't as extreme and we're kind of okay again, maybe, but she's struggling with alcoholism and is mad I'm still friends with her ex.

>>17989252

>mom

what was the job that you had before? what job did you take.

try not to polish it, cuzi ts not looking good for your mom regardless.

>>17989261

I was working in digital marketing for a Fortune 500 company. I have moved to a smaller agency where I can have a little bit more of a work life balance.

Pay is the same.

She just wanted the bragging rights over her family, appropriating my success.

>>17989303

she sounds like a bitch. maybe you should extend an olive branch, but thats neither here nor there.

if what you say is true you sound within your rights.

but there's always two sides to every story.

>>17989311

Yeah, this isn't the first shitty thing she's done regarding my job. She's got a very specific idea of what I should be doing and what constitutes success.

I try to be as objective as possible with this stuff - I can see why some of them would be hurt about what I've done (like for example, missing the kid's birthday), but nothing that warrants us never speaking again. Friend #2 is someone I don't want to talk to ever again because of the peeing on the floor thing...

>>17989472

well thats the thing is you talk to people about never speaking to agian, but you havent mentioned whos side is it on? are oyu nto speaking to them over the birthday or are tehy not speaking to you?

>>17989496

He wasn't speaking to me. Then after a while, since it felt so petty, I started to get mad at him. I mean, who ends a 20+ year friendship over "I don't like that guy you hang out with," and "my step-son's birthday?"

I apologized sincerely and was all set up for the first birthday party, and had a gift for the kid and such. I had plans I couldn't cancel on the new day.

Anyways, yeah, I eventually got pretty mad at him back, which is why it's hard for me to consider us fully friends again, even though we're talking and I've taken him to some Anonymous programs and have been around for him.

sounds a lot like you associate with shitty people. i guess the real question is are you any better than them

>>17989548

I'd say most of the people I associate with are good people, just that we get into conflict. They're still mostly kind to others and have successful jobs and shit.

I guess it depends on your criteria of shitty as to whether or not I'm better.