When to message someone after getting no response?

> maybe she's interested in me to the point where she doesn't need an active account anymore

not to be a dick because I've been in the same boat as you, but I can assure you the odds of this are impossibly slim

>>17986614
Don't overthink it. Overthinking it makes you less desirable and unsure. You've sent her a text pretty close to the time you were fully free from your trip, right? That shows her that you're interested and making her an upper-tier priority. That makes her feel wanted.

She's not monogamously yours so she has every right to have a life and not respond to the text right away; 24 hours is no time to the girl that has an active life. It's also possible she just didn't notice it.

If it deals with time and the ball is in her court, always play the 3-day rule. You'll never seem needy after 3 days, and you can play it like you have a life, which'll make you seem more interesting.

When she does respond, be a little more prompt but still initiate the chase by having the ball in your court, 1-2 hours tops.

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I went through something similar with Tinder. We had gone on 2 dates. She kept ignoring my texts after a while. I slowly concluded she wasn't into me. I've realized now that for a dating scenario to work, especially one created through a dating app, there needs to be mutual interest to the highest extent. Your situation will really show how interested she really is. Now given, you guys barely know each other, and remember that hitting it off goes both ways. Maybe you thought you hit it off, maybe she didn't. Girls are really bad at telling you they're not interested, so stay on your toes, and try not to get your hopes up too much, stay humble. You did meet on a dating app after all. But who knows.

As far as a follow up text, that's an iffy situation. You'll come off as needy if you say the wrong thing. So it might just be best to leave the ball in her court. She comes back she's yours, she doesn't she clearly wasn't that interested; i.e. not worth your time.

If you are going to send a follow up, make it about something. Say you have plans, or something going on that could involve her, that could make for a casual date. Maybe you're going to check out a farmers market and you want her to tag along, or you need a plus one for an event. DON'T say anything that will make you sound needy. Play this card very carefully.

I think it's also very possible she's busy, and that she did see your text and that she just hasn't gotten around to it. I do that all the time, even with people I'm eager to talk to. I'll save it for later for when I can really engage in what I want to say.

Or maybe she did meet someone else. You should expect that. It's as possible as any other scenario. If so, you should be happy for her, you're both in the same struggle, trying to find the best partner for yourselves. And maybe she's not emotionally capable of letting you down easy. But you'll never know. So my advice would be to either text her what i said, or leave it up to her.

>>17986647
I've had several women do this for me on OkC. I thought it was pretty common?

>>17986676
This is along the lines of what I was thinking. It's difficult not to dwell on these sorts of things because I am interested in this girl and we have good compatibility based on what I've seen so far. I've been out of the dating game for a long time but it's good to see that some things (like the 3 day rule) are still constant.

>>17986647
I include that only as a possible explanation for what I've observed. Like I said, it's hard to know without further information. This might be a naive assumption, but usually when you're not interested in somebody or decide to pursue someone else, you at least let the current person know that you're parting ways with them. I try to do this whenever possible and in fact have done so in the process of pursuing the woman I speak of in particular.

>>17986704
I've been dating for the past... 8 years? Based "moves" on reading books in the library/the internet? Been with my current GF for about 4 while still giving out the same advice to moderate success? The timing rule still seems to congruently apply.

Good luck OP. Keep a stiff... upper lip!

>>17986713
Thank you for the encouragement!

>>17986703
Yeah ghosting is pretty common, but usually it happens after a bad first date or if things aren't progressing the way they should. I don't think either of these apply to my situation - I consider myself at least self-aware enough to know whether I've done something to jeopardize my chances here.

>>17986686
That's a good idea. I'll kick around a few possibilities in my head over the next day or so and see if anything good comes up, then try a follow-up if she hasn't contacted me by, say, Wednesday.

Usually I'm not so anxious about this sort of development, but like I said we hit it off pretty well (at least from my perspective, but as you said any number of things may be incorrect in my assumptions there) which sort of gives me this feeling like, if we were at this high level of compatibility and it still fizzled out, then what hope do I have going forward?

>>17986614
This is why I don't use online dating. You have no idea how many men were messaging her at the time. She most likely had like 4-5 guys she was also seeing. Lose their attention for a second and they'll move on.

>>17986724
Don't do any follow ups. I hate to tell you but after two texts, she's no responding.

I get people are busy but nobody is so busy they can't take two seconds to respond to a text

Give it a few days. She could be busy or forgotten about the text. She could also not be interested anymore but lacks the class to signify this.

Make some bullshit casual date and ask her if shes down. No response from that and I would just move on. OKC has a curious mix of people in it. I have had very slow relationships from there and very fast relationships of ambiguous morality. Found a good one in the end though so keep it up.

>>17986744
To clarify I only sent one text, yesterday around noon. Though I agree, if I had sent two and didn't get a response after sufficient time had passed, then it would be time to move on.

>>17986747
Yep that seems to be the consensus. I'll hang in there if things do go south, though.

>>17986754
If she was that into you she would have waited until you got back and responded immediately to your text.

You're about to find out why so many men hate online dating

>>17986614

In a very similar situation at the moment but only one date (which I probably fucked up since im being ghosted after I suggested another meetup and I also sent a follow up message to that 4 hours ago still nothing so I'm just assuming it's over)
However they added me on facebook when we were first talking. If things go quiet do I unfriend them or just leave it? If they unfriend me first it will hurt but I wouldn't mind simply being friends as we have a lot in common. How do I proceed. I'm a female btw if that matters.

>>17986774
Are you a dominant personality or a submissive one? Is the person you're seeking dominant or submissive?

>>17986774
Jesus, technology and modern dating is such cancer. Why is everyone playing games and why can't they just be more direct?

There's like 3-4 threads a day on this stuff on /adv/

>>17986781
Because it is a game. It's always been one.

>>17986780
I'm not really sure but he was pretty gung ho about meeting me especially after we had so much in common. He even drove 40 minutes to pick me up plus - strange enough- it was his birthday in an hour (we met at 11pm) and I bought him his first drink which makes me assume at least I would be memorable. In short he wanted to see me bad and when he dropped me off he told me wanted to meet up again as well as introduce me to some of the more creative friends he has. It felt sincere and awesome.
The next day I'm going to his home town and I let him know I'll be around. He responded with '(: what brings you here?' and I mentioned it was a party and if was interested in meeting up. Then nothing for two days. So yeah I probably fucked up or he has things going on. I tend to overthink and imagine the worst outcomes but I really liked him and the weird situation with the birthday made a cute impression on me.

>>17986781
lol yeah tell me about it

>>17986799
I would say you're overthinking, everything is fine and you're being the submissive one. Did you ever stop to think that he's playing the "3-day rule" on you right now?

Give him another day. If he doesn't respond then and you're still really fond of the guy, then send him another message along the pretense of "hey what's up"? Nothing more, nothing less. If he doesn't respond in another 3 days, then move on.

Also, don't forget to live your life and enjoy it the best you can during this time!

>>17986808

There's already a log of four messages I've sent since he ghosted me on the 21st describing the party, if he wanted to meet up, and telling him if it's difficult then 'no worries'. It makes me look pretty bad and honestly I hadn't thought of him executing the 3 day rule but my follow up message that I sent today was a bit hyper aware of stuff like that I said "Hey is everything okay? You better not be ghostin' me because that's absolutely forbidden! (sunglasses face)". 5 hours have passed and nothing but I'll wait and follow your advice. And yes my personality is shy and passive and intimacy and flirting clam me up.
Although I'll probably keep him on facebook still since I doubt he would unfriend me and who knows he may became interested again.

Thanks I will try to enjoy this time and think a bit more positively. These edating games are pretty painful since people aren't ever honest and want to appear more appealing (which I can't fault them for).

>>17986853
You responding that way makes it a 50/50 scenario.

He'll either go "eww this girl is batshit" or "oh, this girl is being flirty/I can manipulate that for...(profit)".

You've given him extreme control over the situation and shown your vulnerabilities very early, so the only thing you can do is wait it out and follow the above advice. Any more messaging and/or fretting on your part will move the needle closer to the "batshit" probability.

Not that you ARE batshit; people have emotions and do things that they retroactively see as negative all the time.

I would disagree that "people aren't ever honest" but yes, it can be a painful game that's goal is to enhance attractiveness/longing.

Stand tall, Anon! S'plenty of "1 in a 1,000,000s" out there in a sea of "Facebook Ghosters".

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>>17986614
Sorry I'm a little late to the discussion. From what you told so far, you did everything well.

You might be over thinking it, I wouldn't let it get to you. You sent her the text so now the ball is in her court now. In the meantime just go about your business.

At least you're not on plentyoffish. That site is nothing but ghosting.

>>17986883

should I wait a day and simply ask 'what's up?" seems kind of strange and awkward/needy. And yes I'm very inexperienced at this and have yet to build up the proper will power and it's also difficult since I will only meet people I'm very attracted to physically and have a lot in common with so I'm a bit aloof and don't express great interest during the first date since I'm nervous but my weaknesses are exposed through the texts. what should I do halp
I hope he does respond though if not then oh well.

>>17986909
Just wait 3 days(not to the minute, but roughly that amount) since your last message. Respond with, I don't know, something very simple that's "you". If you're a senior in High School during the mid-2000s, you'd've probably sent something like "Heyyyyy" or whatever. A simple "Hey you!" would suffice and seems in your character.

If he doesn't respond, fuck'm; he's probably got a micro-penis anyway.

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>>17986930
>>17986930
Okay I will do just this. I even went as far as to change the contact name to 'do not text' I think it helps a little. And thank you for the advice being in this position is a little tough and I don't really want to talk about it with people I know so I really appreciate it anon

>>17986951
S'what /adv/ is for; live long and prosper!

OP here. It doesn't look as though this thread will survive for long, but if it's still up tomorrow evening then I will post an update if anything happens between now and then with respect to my current situation.

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>>17987904
Sounds good OP.

>>17986614
That actually looks like me, holy shit.

>>17987904

Online dating is annoying. Most people try to talk to/see 4-5 different ppl at a time and then compare and contrast between them to choose a favorite.
It's likely that you were the favorite at the time but in your absence she found someone she liked more.
Proceed with your plan but bare in mind that you left her time to explore others so she may have decided to go with the next guy she dated.

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>>17988247
Most normal humans do this anyways. A first date + a callback is usually enough time to see if somebody is worth the time. Online dating just makes it easier to find "quality" matches with similar interests.

>It's likely that you were the favorite at the time

This could be a very true statement.

>but in your absence she found someone she liked more.

This scenario is much less likely, but yes, I'm sure a single woman is exploring all options she finds suitable.

>>17988247
>>17988270
Although that does make sense, I've never really been comfortable with the idea of dating multiple people at the same time like that. That's not to say people shouldn't do it or that I don't expect this girl to be doing this, just that personally it's hard for me to split up and maintain interest in multiple different parties simultaneously.

That said, I did try this approach before going on a date with the girl from the OP, but after we hit it off I cancelled my other prospective dates and let them know what the situation was. Otherwise they would have been left to wonder what exactly had happened, much like I am right now.

>>17988335
What makes you uncomfortable splitting up and maintaining interests in multiple different people if you're single? Do you feel that its... disingenuous? "Cheating"? "Playing a game"?

My current GF and I met on OkC. I was entertaining offers from... 2-3 other women from that site at the time. After a month of seeing my girlfriend, I realized that she was the one I'd want to pursue something more with than just fun times and pussy since we had the best connection out of my choices; I didn't want anything getting in the way of that. I informed the other ladies of my intentions and let them all down easily, that they were great people, that I really liked this other girl, etc; only one of them was "butthurt", but she was younger so it wasn't a huge deal.

I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years.

>>17988375
I don't think it's disingenuous or anything like that, just for some reason I don't like the idea of conducting dating like I'm interviewing candidates for a position - even though, in terms of the broad strokes, this is a large component of what dating is.

Also, I don't consider myself a traditionalist in most regards, but I like the idea of devoting my attention to one woman at a time because if things do work out, it makes the relationship all the more meaningful - I put all my stakes on the one person and won. There's a (probably naive) romantic notion there that just isn't present in the "go out with a handful of different women and then choose the best of the lot" approach.

That said, I will most likely have to reconsider my position on this depending on how things play out with the current situation, because dating multiple people at once is a more efficient approach overall.

>>17988537
At least you're self-aware and perceptive.

I dated several ladies and I don't think it reduced the meaningfulness of my relationships.

If anything, if I would've gone down the pecking order of ladies one-by-one in my last scenario, I would've missed the opportunity with my girlfriend, since she was only doing a Summerstock in Ohio until moving back to Michigan that August. Our OKC compatibility rating was in the 80s or whatever, and the other ladies I was seeing were actually higher, one in the mid-90s.

You never know who is going to be "the one".

>>17988573
That's true, sometimes meeting the right person is a matter of time and place, and you never know what opportunities may have been missed.

I'm glad things did work out for you and your girlfriend - and to clarify I don't think your relationship is any lesser for having dated multiple people contemporaneously. The one-at-a-time scenario is an imposition that I place solely on myself, for reasons that I would not apply to other people.

But in any case, I'm probably just being stubborn. Hopefully things will pan out or I'll loosen things up a bit as things progress.

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>>17988604

>>17988665
Ha ha that about sums it up

Sympathy bump

Lol

Try going on 4 dates, staying the night with her after each one, then all of a sudden she stops responding after I sent her 2 texts a few days apart. Then adds you on Snapchat a month and a half later.

What the FUCK

I have no fucking clue where I stand with this girl and I'm nervous as fuck to find out. I don;t know how to initiate that convo

>>17989247
she wants to be friends

>>17989470
just talked to her. said she didn't mean to disappear. said she's interviewing for a job tomorrow in a city 4 hours away. said she wants to hang out when she gets back.

ouch.

>>17989512
never listen to a womans lies, listen to her actions

>>17989517
when we were together she made no mention of moving away...never even suggested it. she just moved here in september.

not gonna lie im hurt.

>>17989526
play or be played

>>17989534
i dont even know what youre talking about.

>>17989537
played

>>17989558
faggot.

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>>17989563
t. a sexually frustrated dude ghosted on an online dating site because he wasn't good enough

>>17989247
>>17989470
>>17989512
>>17989517
>>17989526
>>17989534
>>17989537
>>17989558
>>17989563
>>17989567
That escalated quickly.

>>17989632
i feel like shit. why wouldnt i.

wish she had just left things at the ignored text messages.

>>17989648
maybe if you wern't so negative and entitled you wouldn't be in this situation

>>17989648
So it sounds like you guys weren't in a relationship. It sounds like you enjoyed what you had a lot more than she did. It sounds like she has other priorities in her life than you, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Besides all of that, she's not being very respectful of your reality and understanding that her actions can hurt others, so I'd just forget about her and appreciate the hot monkey sex you hopefully had.

She's not worth your time, your money or your cock.

>>17989683
>It sounds like she has other priorities in her life than you, and there is nothing wrong with that.
she does, and that's fine. her dad lives in that city, and her mom left her when she was young and she's the oldest child, so they are extremely close. i get it.

i just don't understand why she felt the need to add me on snapchat to make me second guess. i'd nearly forgotten about her until then.

she could've just made a clean break.

>>17989913
Either because she's not THAT shitty of a person and is trying to make amends, or she IS a shitty person and is using your attention to make her feel important.

You'd be the one to make that determination, not me. She did hurt you, and that should be known.

>>17989931
we have mutual friends and that's how we met, so i'd guess she was just trying to make amends.

i feel so stupid.

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>>17989940

>>17990020
shit feel bro

wish she had told me why

the last time i saw her i had absolutely no clue or hint that it would be the last

now this is going to eat away at me.

Occam's razor my man, keep your logic simple and don't overthink things like this (trust me, I know).

The most likely explanation is (given how women behave) that she's not interested and she ghosted you. Or she forgot about you.

>>17986614
you put the ball in her court

so forget about her for now

and move on to the next girl

if she texts you back, set up another meet and see whats going on

>>17990275
do i even have the right to be upset or hurt if we weren't even in a relationship

honest to god i thought things were headed there.

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>>17990327
You have a right to have feelings.

Feel them and move on. The sooner the better.

>>17990327
Of course you have the right to be upset. But, if something like that happens again, try not to let it affect you as much as the first time.

Because, if you are in the dating game, things like that /will/ happen, so building up a resistance to that -- emotionally speaking -- is a good idea.

>>17990553
it honestly didn't at first. after she ghosted i was just like alright whatever. and after a week i didn't think about it so much.

then i guess by her adding me on snapchat it made me think about things, and it gave me false hope that maybe she just missed those texts or something and wanted to try things again..

what she told me when we met was that her lease was up in july and she was waiting until then to make a decision...but she made it very clear she was looking for something serious

i get a hold of her today and she's looking to leave...

why couldn't she just have left it alone. i was doing just fine
now i feel like shit.

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Getting no responce is fucking brutal. Especially when you know the other person saw the message.
>match with girl on tinder last semester
>talk for a long time, get her snapchat, Instagram, etc and hang out twice
>our semester starts on Thursday, I want to catch up since we haven't hung out since like at November
>ask her when she's free next week on Snapchat
>she left me on opened
I'm pretty sure she just essentially told me "fuck off I'm not interested"
What do? Should I even continue to pursue or just say fuck her and move on to the next?

>>17990602
No, let it go now. Trust me. Let it go now.

The good thing about snapchat is that it confirms if someone saw the message. You got your answer. I know it sucks, but move on.

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>>17990616
Heh. No big deal. On to the next ho, amirite fellas?!

OP here. In keeping with the advice given to me in this thread, I'll be sending my prospective date a text this evening and see if there is a response. I'll post updates as developments unfold.

>>17986614

Girls reply instantly to guys they are interested in.

>>17991477
>people overwhelmingly tell you not to send another text
>send another text anyway
>"thx for the advice guys :^)"
wat

>>17991477

don't

You already sent her a text. She didnt reply. By being pushy you are driving her away even more.

>>17991522
>>17991518
He's applying the 3-day rule. He's not seeming pushy by living life for 3 days then sending another 5-second text to see what she's up to. She's allowed to have a life, allowed to miss a text because she's busy and she's allowed to not make OP's cock her top priority. Both parties seemed to enjoy life together and both're allowed to explore their options since they're free agents.

That was the consensus of this thread. Good vibrations OP.

>>17991518
>>17991522
The consensus that I was getting from >>17986676 >>17986686 >>17986713 >>17986747 and >>17986930 was to wait a few days and then send a text. To clarify I've only sent one unanswered text and that was on Sunday. Also there are three or four different situations from other anons that were posted in this thread which may be a cause for confusion.

>>17991529

OP made a mistake by texting her instead of calling.

She did read the text and all OP needs to do is wait for her to contact him.

>>17991534

OP if you want to contact her again at least call her. Talk for about 3-4 minutes, do not bring up the text you've sent. If she will seem eager to see you again set up a definitive date for saturday or few days in advance and dont contact her again up till the day you have the date set up.

Call never text.

>>17991500
Unless they're a well-adjusted human who loves and lives life and isn't super concerned about a cute cock.

Women do instantly respond to men they're interested in, yes, if they have nothing else going on in life that excites them. That telling "sign" is an easy-in for Chad Thundercocks who just want to sex. It could be off-putting or ego-inflating to normal Alpha/Beta men who want more than just pussy.

>>17991548
I wouldn't say OP made a mistake; if you would have said this about 5 years ago, I would've agreed with you; I have come across so many women in recent years that just DREAD talking on the phone to guys, regardless of how bad they want them, that I've come to conclude that calling could be detrimental. I'm assuming it has something to do with the technology age with static-image interactions or being able to control your responses.

It's a crap-shoot at best nowadays if one should call; I pick my battles on a girl-to-girl basis if I should telephone them or not. Texting is always the safe option that hardly ever causes a drawback. OP would know what to do for the best situation; a call could be a considered viable option, OP; it could make you seem more "special".

Maybe she read the text. Maybe she didn't. Maybe she did read the text but her father got into a car accident so she forgot to respond. Maybe she deleted all of her texting histories and never noticed it. Maybe she doesn't want OP's cock. Maybe she's pre-cock-upied. Maybe she's busy making a shrine in OP's honor. There's no way to really know the variables of life.

Waiting longer than 3 days could miss an opportunity if the OP is fond of said girl and said girl likes OP. Waiting 3 days to attempt contact again doesn't risk showing neediness; plenty of time has passed. You're allowed to take the ball back from a girl if it's just sitting by her feet. A girl is allowed to "drop the ball". A girl who can't dribble, however, is a girl that's not ready for a relationship/doesn't want to play a pickup game with you and should be left alone for other prospects.

Sportsball.

>>17991584
>Texting is always the safe option

yeah this is why it is non option.

If you always call her she wont even consider other ways of communicating with you.

How can you probe her intrest level from texts?

>>17991594
Safe options are absolutely options. Dating is a game of strategy, and if you're going to only limit yourself to options that could lead to overextending your play, then you could set yourself up to fail with a pretty nice lady. This is especially true in our current societal day and age, as I've previously stated.

I'm not saying "never call". I'm not saying that not-calling could never have adverse effects. I'm saying calling could have adverse effects. I'm saying to pick your battles and tune your methods. They're some girls that I would call and some girls that I would text; I've had plenty of success doing both.

>If you always call her she wont even consider other ways of communicating with you.

Citation needed; I've had quite the opposite happen to me. Women're going to respond the way they want to respond.

Doing this could also drive potential women away. There are a lot more socially acceptable instances to text then there are to have phone calls.

>How can you probe her intrest level from texts?

I believe it's called "context clues". They're plenty of tells to read into.

>>17990581 here

she said she wants to come over when she gets back and bring her new dog.

kind of feel like ignoring her now. what do i do?

>>17991619

I suspect that you are the type of dude that has those phoneships where you text for days then she doesnt have time for a date.

Call to set up dates and thats it.
She doesnt pick up and doesnt call back = she isnt interested. She doesnt pick up but texts back with apologies = call her again.

But really 99% of girls that are interested pick up and those that cant pick up call back.

>>17991548
>>17991584
>>17991594
>>17991619
>>17991642
OP here. I didn't expect this to be such a point of contention, but in terms of how I should proceed I will consider the possibility of calling instead of texting and will make the decision before I contact her tonight. From what I know of her personality, she would probably prefer texts (this is how we've communicated so far, apart from face-to-face interaction) but the directness of a phone call is appealing, plus the fact that it can't be as easily repudiated (i.e., you can say you missed a text or that you didn't receive it, but a phone call not so much).

>>17991623
Not knowing much about your situation, but from what you have described in this thread I would say that either this woman is a major flake or she's toying with you. In either case you are free to contact her as you see fit, but with the understanding that nothing will come of it most likely.

>>17991801
i didn't mean to hijack your thread by the way..it's just that i've been dealing with a similar issue.

ive actually wondered the same thing. if she got annoyed i was texting instead of calling. it's a possibility. but she never expressed that, and we were like 4 or 5 dates in. in my opinion that's an extremely minor thing for someone to be getting bent out of shape over. it's a simple fix. "hey i'd prefer if you called".

anyways, i'm done contacting her.

if she contacts me and actually does want to hang out when she gets back, i'm probably going to ignore it.

>>17991642
Based on...what? In my day I've had relationships with plenty of women. Some of them were fuck buddies, one was a "friends with benefits" kind of a deal, I've had 3 one-night stands, others were just fun casual dating, and others were girlfriends. I didn't start dating until I was about 18 years old because I was a fat nerdy aspie piece o' shit. Then I lost a ton of weight, studied about the birds, the bees, and came out of my shell. I've had several pleasurable, different experiences with women in the past 8 years, ranging in the ages of 17-30, of varying fitness, education, appearance, lifestyle and attraction levels.

Some women liked to talk on the phone, others not so much. Others would want me to constantly text them. Others would want to be left alone. Some people like to philosophize over the phone, with texting or otherwise. Some people would be offended if texting and shorthand calls were for setting up dates only. People are people, and people are different.

Nice job being an assumptive ass there with my love life, though; I'm sure you fuck plenty of women and I'm happy for you; I'm also sure you could fuck more women and have a much more diverse experience with relationships if you just opened up your options a bit. Keep doing you, though, and keep being happy; that's ultimately what matters.

I would say not understanding the variables of life and keeping them in check with your basic phone strategy is a pretty simple, single-minded, one trick pony that could make you miss out on wonderful opportunities.

>>17991801
You would know best OP. I'd assume text. If she likes you, she'll respond. If she doesn't promptly do so, time to move on.

>>17991623
S'okay to play the game a little. If you feel like ignoring her, ignore her. Create the longing and the chase. Respond to her at your leisure, if you want. The 3-day rule is always effective.

>>17991820
No worries, man. We're all in this together.

>>17991837
Yep we will see what happens tonight.

>>17986614
OP at the end of those dates did you even kiss her?

Did you get a hug?

>>17991500

my current gf replied to my first message after two fucking days, and that's after we already talked IRL

>>17991837
> I'm sure you fuck plenty of women and I'm happy for you

not really. I'm not into this hookup business. But I'm into girls that are into me, I tend to be very picky about this and one thing I learned is if you want seamless relationship you need to call women not text them.

Calling is more personal business and you can text while taking a dump.

>>17992061
>I'm into women who're into me.

Wew al' lad.

You can also take a shit while talking on the phone.

>>17986614
Leave her alone

>>17992196

this is how it works. All you have to do is improve yourself so more better women are into you and then you just pick which one you like the best.

Most girls wont like you this way. You only want those that are. They will love and adore you. You wont have to chase them they will chase you. Life is easier.

>>17992436
I'm sure that works for you, and if you're satisfied with what you get, hey man, enjoy it. I know that if I did what you're saying, I wouldn't be with my current girlfriend and I wouldn't be happy; the very thought of not having anything to "chase" or pursue, ever, even a little bit, is kind of sad and I will happily refrain. I like the game. I like experiencing a myriad of situations. I like the flops, the good times and the bad. I like putting an effort into my dating life, into my relationships, and into myself; I feel they're a lot more meaningful that way.

I've had 2 ladies akin to what you're suggesting, and I have to be honest; I got bored of those girls rather quickly. I'll also admit that one of those girls was the best "girlfriend" I ever had, like with the actions and the affection, but the spark wasn't just there for me after a few months.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess. You're picky and I don't discriminate. I suppose I disagree with your methods but I won't find fault with your personal philosophy; I can see how that appeals to you.

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OP here with the promised update.

As planned, I sent my follow-up text an hour ago, inviting the woman in question to see a movie this weekend. I got a response a while after, talked back and forth a while, and in the end we've set ourselves up for a third date a few days from now.

The reason she gave for not responding to my original text is that she was sick with a fever at the time and then forgot to text back. I have no reason to believe she's lying about that so I'm taking it at face value. I'll be able to assess things more clearly when I see her in person.

Actually, leapfrogging off of that point, the fact that she's deleted her OkCupid profile now reads as a fairly positive omen. Either she's invested in me specifically, or I am on a "short list" of viable candidates if she is in fact dating multiple people at the same time.

In any case, my original question has been answered. The three-day rule seems to work well. I suppose if anything drastic occurs in the next couple of days I'll keep you posted.

>>17992900
congrats man, wish i had the same result.

don't bother wondering whether or not she is being truthful about not texting back. it doesn't matter now.

anyways, i wouldn't say she is invested in you specifically. if she was she wouldn't have forgotten to text back. take that for what it's worth.

anyways good luck. hope things work out for you

>>17992909
Thanks, and you're right. I ought to stay humble and prepare to do my best when the time comes.

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>>17992900
Thanks for the awesome thread OP; there was great discussion here!

Happy travels!

>>17992921
Thanks! It was longer and more in-depth than I anticipated so hopefully this was of some use to people.

>>17986704
>This might be a naive assumption, but usually when you're not interested in somebody or decide to pursue someone else, you at least let the current person know that you're parting ways with them. I try to do this whenever possible and in fact have done so in the process of pursuing the woman I speak of in particular.
Women typically don't do that. They always have to fear a guy will have adverse reaction and become a stalker or worse. This basically gives them a free pass in not being honest/lacking manners when it comes to handing out rejection.

Texting after no response is beta as fuck. Be patient. If you really can't accept the idea that she may never respond, you're too attached. Talk to other girls in the meantime and don't wait around for her. If she likes you, she'll respond. If she doesn't, don't waste your time or make yourself look lame as fuck by chasing her with multiple texts.

>>17993056
Worrying about being "beta" is beta as fuck.

>>17993056
>>17992900