Is he still seeing her?

>>17984629

It... sound like you have trust issues.

Work on them.

You either trust him or you don't. If you don't trust him, don't be in this relationship

By allowing you access to his phone, it SOUNDS like he's trying to be accommodating and transparent with you (we have no way of knowing if he really is nor not) but you're STILL suspicious of him.

This ever present suspicion is not healthy for your own sake.
This situation is also VERY one sided in your favor. It's fine for him to give you access in the short run, but if you're never going to trust him, all it's doing is feeding in to YOUR bad habits. You are not making the same compromises he is making for you. This imbalance will hurt you in the future and harm your ability to hold healthy relationships.

Decide to trust him or do not.

If you feel he's not the type you can trust, move on.

>she just wants to be friends

no. just no. exclusive or nothing.

>>17984650
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aofoBrFNdg

just a friend man

>>17984653
fuck friendships. especially between men and women attracted to one another, or people who liked one another in the past.

>>17984650
>>17984653
>>17984657
well, after she said she wants to be friends he replied to her calling her an autistic thot and then he deleted her number and blocked her. I'm just worried he actually went out with her and is lying to me by saying it was her brother

>>17984629

"going to be a literally who"

... what?

Anyway, I would tell your boyfriend that you trust him and no longer want or need access to his messages or to go through his phone, but him keeping contact with an ex makes you uncomfortable.

Ex's should be left to the past, I think someone in a new relationship should take the initiative and remove their exes from their lives prior to their partner having to tell them.

Lastly If you aren't able to trust him and not invade his privacy there is no point continuing a relationship, stop now and just be happy with what you have (the dude seems genuine).

>>17984667
The thing is, he told me he wasnt in contact with her anymore and then all of this happened.

>>17984671
maybe he didn't actively contact her, rather her brother through that number, but she read the message and thought it was for her so she came to the place, and then they fucked all night.

>>17984671

How long have you been together? They don't sound like they are on good terms so I think thats a positive, his exes responses to his messages don't sound surprised or argumentative implying they don't have anything going on between them.

If this is a brand new relationship I would just forget about it and move on as a clean slate, he was probably still struggling with cutting ties with his past and has managed to do so because of you. If you have been together a long time then that might be a bit more of an issue.

>>17984687
this could also be it.

>>17984686
kek

>>17984687
we've been together for 4-5 months. I really hope that he actually did hang out with her brother and not her. I'm not sure how to find out the truth and it's frustrating me and making me a person that im not. I dont usually have trust issues, because i've never had a reason to doubt him and after all of this i still trust him a lot but there's that slimmer of doubt in my head and it's driving me crazy.

>>17984686
That's what he says, without the fucking though. I know he didnt do shit with her because when they were together, nobody knew about their relationship and he never went to her house and she never went to his. They would only hang out in public and because she tried to keep the relationship a secret she would never be affectionate to him.

>>17984705

All you can do is take his word for it and move on, you will look back on this in a few months and think its silly. He has cut all ties with her, they seem on pretty bad terms and he says he loves you so just try to forget about it and trust what he says.

>>17984629
Probably not. He probably still wants to be friends with her but knows you're too insecure to be honest about it.

This is a moment where it's necessary to be up front. Be honest with him about how their friendship makes you feel. If you're sincerely ok with them being friends, ask him why he felt he needed to lie about it. If you're not ok with, then the ball is in your court to set boundaries. This doesn't necessarily mean shitty ultimatums ("if you talk to her again, we're done!") - those are never aspects of healthy relationships - but it does mean setting yourself as someone who demands respect.

For reference: my boyfriend is friends with a couple of his exes, and its nbd - they're cool, well-adjusted gals. But he does have one ex who's a manipulative liar and I would absolutely NOT be ok with him continuing to be friends with her. A few times out of nowhere, she called in the middle of the night drunk, crying about how much she regrets cheating on him (which was now 6 years ago), and claiming to be suicidal. Being the guy he is, he always took the time to send a personal welfare check her way (which invariably ended up "lol, I'm ok, guess I just had a short meltdown"). Basically I told him "You need to stop taking these calls. She's a mental case and is taking advantage of your kindness. She has no respect for you, your time, or our relationship. If you're sincerely concerned with her personal safety, get in touch with her mother and let her handle it. But we didn't do anything to deserve to have her crazy in our lives." Been over a year since she's called.

>>17984711
>she tried to keep the relationship a secret she would never be affectionate to him
aww sounds like he still wants that pussy