I Have no clue what's going on with my gf. We had an argument

>>17984171
What was the argument about ?
Maybe she can't leave you and is trying to make you leave her instead.

>>17984183
I told her a lot of times that some of her actions made me feel bad. She agreed to change and then repeated the same things. She also expected me to change some things but she never gave any feedback, she always backlashed. I couldn't take it and lost my cool, told her that what I felt was wrong. When we were talking she agreed with me, but day after she didn't even talk to me and started acting guilty. I by no means say I didn't do everything perfectly, and I apologized for that. In response, she told me she has to think things through and that she can't imagine being with me anymore. She also basically forces me to give up on one of my childhood friends just because she's a girl.
She told me that she wants to try and fix things, then after I leave she tells me that she doesn't know what to do. I'm exhausted and disappointed. I didn't expect her back off like that after telling me how much she loves me.

Shameless bump. Please help.

>>17984194
I understand, this seems complicated. Maybe ask her about why she doesn't leave you if she says she can't stay with you anymore ?
I am sorry for you.

>>17984262
She says she can't imagine me leaving her life. No matter what I tell her or how I try to make it work she doesn't cooperate. When I told her I feel left alone and that I don't feel she wants to do anything she jumped on me saying "who do you think I am?" It's easy for her to say what I did wrong, but when I tell her what's wrong she always counterattacks.

>>17984280
It reminds me and my ex bf. When we got to that point, I knew our relation was over, but it was hard to accept it and take the decision.

>>17984293
So what I supposed to do now? It's suffocating when somebody treats you like that. Whatever I do it will be my fault anyway.

>>17984171
Men are by nature and training problem-solvers. If something is wrong, their immediate instinct is to fix it. Women are by nature and training nurturers. When something is wrong, their immediate instinct is to comfort and seek comfort first, and then worry about fixes later.

By treating your issues as a practical problem to be solved with changes in behavior, you came across to her as unfeeling, not concerned about her feelings or offering any opening to yours.

I'm not saying her way is better, just that it's her natural way and that, seen from her point-of-view, you seemed cold and unfeeling.

It will probably blow over, but you can help by letting her see you are less interested, at the immediate moment, in fixing the problem than in comforting both of you in your unhappiness.

>>17984323
We were talking about it for two days straight. All that happened was her telling me how bad I acted and then getting mad that it made me feel insecure. The root of the problem is that I can't and won't agree on telling my friend to go away just because she wants me to. She called me insensitive and not caring for her for that, but she did not even think about how it would make me feel. Right now she messages me about how she's unsure, and when I tell her that she should do what's best for her and show that I can't fight forever she says she wants to be with me. How am I even supposed to think clearly right now?

>>17984320
If I was you I would leave I think. If it feels uncomfortable for both of you..

Definitely leave. Make sure to tell her it's because you're tired of dating a child

>>17984355
The thing is I don't wanna leave because of what happened. I'm thinking about leaving because of how she only tells me how miserable she feels and how it was my fault. I understand that she can be mad, but I came over begging for forgiveness without her permission, spent 2 days talking about it and left even more lost than before.

>>17984323
What he said.
I am in a relationship that was like this. There were cultural differences and well, that problem. I was trying to analyze the facts in order to see where the blame fell and determine a solution. Obviously, that's not what women want. She even admitted it herself but I was too thick-skinned to understand: "Comfort me, even if I push you away. My mouth is running wild but my heart cries. I cannot live without you".
Basically, women are emotional contradictory creatures and this kind of things is happening much more than we believe.

I got the silent treatment, the threats about breaking up, the shootings, mostly because ehr hormones were completely off-balance because of our kid, but it was merely a facade designed to protect herself in front of a man that was dominated her with facts. I won't say it totally disappeared but once I finally understood not the cultural, but gender differences, I erased 80% to 90% of the problems and conflicts.

Don't make sense with an emotional woman but appeal to her well-being. Facts will come after, once she calms down.

And dick her. A lot.

>>17984386
I tried. Whenever I tried to tell her it's gonna be ok and that she's the most important person in my world she denied and forced me to stop. Besides, there's still my friend who I won't kick from my life. And that's what she forces me to do.

>>17984398
What's your relationship with said friend like?

>>17984171
this is normal shit that happens at the end of a relationship. The break up. Who is a fault, what happened, how do I go on alone, etc. Everybody does this shit at some point in their life. She's not crazy, you're not crazy you just don't have enough love left between you worth fighting over.

>>17984429
We know each other since forever, we've never been involved romantically, and we see each other rarely since we both have our lifes. I took her to my sister's wedding because we like dancing, and it was long before I started dating my gf. My gf has problems with me not wanting her to check my phone (I have weird conversations with my guy friends). She also made a fuss when I told her that one time my friend brought his sister when we had guy-only meeting. She has no problems with me hanging out with guys, but if I was to give english lessons to a female (I'm from a Slavic county), she'd be furious.

Op bumping here. After i talked with my friends and searched the net it looks like the way she does things (ie making me promise i won't meet with any of my friends who are female) is manipulative and comes from extreme jealousy and posessiveness. I decided to talk with her about it, and state that her posesiveness and jealousy seriously scare me. Any thoughts?

>>17984644
She will leave you after it... Good luck.

>>17984644
It's a recipe from breaking up. She will resent your accusations and refuse to consider your facts and evidence. 9

At least, make sure she is calm and willing to listen.

>>17984665
>>17984666
But don't you think that it is possesive and manipulative? First my friend, then all other women. I am 100% sure that if i go along with it there will be a time she'll act like that again and again just because i exchanged 2 sentences with other woman. I'm not willing to be in a relationship like this, and i've told her about it before.

>>17984683

Then leave, bro. If you don't want to be in a relationship like that, DON'T BE IN A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THAT.

/thread

>>17984171

Sounds like you need to leave her the fuck alone. There is no fixing that kind of behavior. Sounds like she has issues.

>>17984444
Nice quads man. I'm an insecure guy regarding other men in a relationship. What helps me is getting to know my gf's guy friends. Like we meet with her group of friends, I talk, drink, laugh with them, and I'm good. Insecurity over.

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Bumping this thread because new facts emerged.
Had a serious talk, made it clear i am not allowed to be friends with my female friend anymore nor i can't have any female friends. No matter what i say, no matter how i state that this is something you can't expect from another person she just goes with ultimatum. What to do?

>>17985871

personally id dump her. i dont like being controlled let alone say who my friends can be.

my best friend in the world is someone i tried to date before. this has pissed off some of the people i have dated.

but they are my best friend and nothings going to change that. no one ive dated is willign to pick me up medicine when im sick, but my best friend just did an hour ago.

>>17985888
Nice trips.
She pretty much forces me to do it. I tried to reason, i tried to show her that it's unfair and abusive, she only sees that it makes her feel bad and pushes everything on me. Saddest part about it is no matter how much i state that it's her behaviour and lack of trust that pushes me away, she answers with "you'd rather deal with me leaving than not talking to her anymore"

>>17985909

idk how you can maintain an attraction to someone so thick, though i suppose I'm just lucky that ive surrounded myself with reasonable people.

>>17985871

psychobitch alert. never mind how you felt/feel about her, she hasn't got your best interests at heart. paranoia is setting in. run like hell

>>17985918
>>17985914
To add context. She asked questions like: Did you sleep with her? Did u kiss her? Did u hug her?
The longer i look at it from a perspective, the more i see that there's no point in reasoning with her the only thing i could do that would be okay for us both is to leave.