Girl wants to come over and open up to me

I'm really unsure of where we stand now, my friend tells me she likes the attention I give her since she knew I liked her before. Says the reason she texts me before she goes to bed all the time is shes bored and gets validation from it, she's just seeking attention and knows she'll get it from me, he tells me dont give it to her next time. It makes sense to me.

We text early in the week like usual, asks me to go on a run with her, decline cause im at the gym. Last time I heard from her until yesterday night. Shes going to a bar crawl with some friends, she texts me when shes drunk usually. This time isnt different. She sends a simple hi. I dont respond. 30 mins later she sends me an agitated text: ???? anger emoji.

I'm at a fuck buddys house and i ignore it keeping in mind what my friend told me, I told her about this situation and she agreed with my friend. So I dont get home till this morning and I text her that my phone died and that I was out all night with my friend and I made sure to say "she" didnt have a charger at her place, therefore I didnt see the text. I was trying to see if that would get some kind of reaction. I followed up with asking her how yesterday night went. She texted me back "lol its fine" and nothing else, she didnt even answer my question about her night.

She texts me a few hours later asking how my weekend was. I mentioned I hung out with a friend and that I had messed up my leg playing basketball. She was really interested in what we did and all I mentioned was that we hung out and that she brought me back home in the morning. I kept it really vague.Then she tells me she wanted to hang out but I cant now cause of my leg, she jokes that she cant carry me anywhere. I told her she can always visit me in my crippled state. We make some jokes and then she says maybe tuesday, saying we can "touch base" on some things and I ask her what about, she says nvm and I jokingly say she has to tell me cause im disabled now, thats what leads to the conversation I mention at the beginning of the post.

I guess what I'm asking is what to expect? Half of me thinks she's gonna talk about how she feels about me and the other half shes gonna cement this friendzone stuff with asking me for advice about guys shes actually interested in, which she did before when I first met her. I

I would just ask her out but I was so sure before and it feels the same as it did then, but I was wrong. I guess I'm just tired of being wrong about this stuff. its happened so often lately and whenever I think I make a connection its never romantic. Casual relations are easy, intimate ones are not.

Just wait and see calmly
Don't ask her out
She sounds like a bitch trying to use you

>>17983802
I wouldnt go so far as bitch, I enjoy hanging with her, I realized that when I stopped talking to her after she rejected me. Its not like I do stuff for her or anything, we hang out and text, like friends do, but shes a girl, so she texts a lot. She's a bit insecure, I dont know why since shes mad cute but we all have our hang ups, whatever. But because of that I'm wary of her motivations, like you and my friend have mentioned.

I think she does seek my attention through text sometimes, and other times she legitimately wants to just talk instead of validating herself. Because of that I'm not investing myself too much into what could happen, although I do have a preference for what does happen. I guess I just want to be prepared and see what I might be in for.

I don't know.

I kind of doubt she would be coming over to tell you what a great friend you are, or whatever. Why would she need to see you or make an occasion to tell you that.

If you're nothing but a friend to her, the getting clingy/angry over not answering her texts seems kind of weird.

I just don't see why she would need to "touch base on some things".

Also she seems kind of reluctant to tell you what she wants to (hence the "nevermind")

Either way, my only advice is to not get your hopes up. All you can do is wait and see.

>>17983834
I mean I dont expect her to come over and say "you've been a great friend, lets stay that way" lol. I'm more worried about shes gonna come over and complain about why shes still single and she thinks shes not pretty enough and is looking for me to tell her everything she wants to hear. "Any guy would be lucky to have you, youre gorgeous and never let yourself think otherwise" and other nonsense.

Another thing I should mention is when I said she should come over and visit me, she texted me "I didnt know that was an option.. god forbid you slam the door in my face" as a joke. I could have went with it, but I decided to say "I would never do that to a cute girl. unless she was only there to laugh at my bum leg". She laughed at that and I told her if she wanted to pop by let me know first so I could clean my room first cause its messy. She says she'll bring tea, She then sends me a pic of her room, and then says "or maybe beer idc" I noticed a Killers poster on her wall and we talked a bit about them. Apropos of nothing thats when she says "if we need to touch base on certain issues then we will" and then the other stuff i mentioned in the first post.

>>17983900
Guess you just have to wait and see.

You should make another thread after she visits cause I'm kind of curious

>>17983907
I will. I'm fully expecting it to be nothing, honestly I'll think she'll chicken out. Should I remind her about it?

>>17984031
Yes and keep us updated I want to see you drop spaghetti

>>17984031
yeah don't let her off the hook.

and if she chickens out...then that's probably a good sign she might be into you, no?

if she chickens out just assure her she has nothing to worry about and she can tell you anything, and you're not going to think less of her or judge her.

Op please update

File: dHvrKgH.jpg (62KB, 460x817px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 460x817px

>>17983900

I wonder if she's gonna question you about who you were with the other day.

I'd tread lightly with this one, she sounds a bit on the shallow side if she's always so insecure and seeking validation.

Half the time girls like that who are hot are wanting to see who they can use for whatever fun they want, usually at your expense.

Good luck though, you know her way better than we do, so trust your gut.

>>17984036
Man no faith here huh? I can see why since Im posting this on a 4chan board but I promise you I have a bit more social tact than the usual poster here. I wont do anything until I find out exactly what she wants from me.

>>17984037
Is it really tho? I'd like to think yes, but if its something else she needs to talk to someone about like idk some personal issues for example, she could just be having second thoughts about talking to someone about it.

This is good advice though, I dont like to push people into doing shit theyre uncomfortable with so I could see myself just dropping it if shes hesitant. I wont tho, I plan on texting her tomorrow afternoon with something like "So what time you coming to visit me on my death bed?" (jokey exaggeration of my leg) and see what she says. If she tries to get out of it I'll say what you did, that she can talk to me and I wont think any less or judge her for what she needs to say.

>>17984616
Maybe, I guess that because she needs to ask my "genuine opinion" on something that she wouldn't be asking about that night, and I dont think she should anyway, we're not dating and she shouldnt feel entitled to me not seeing other girls, since she hasnt given me any indication that she wants me to be with her...yet. Besides, she's the one who told me a year ago that she doesnt want to be tied down in a long term relationship (at the time thats what I wanted) and she just wants to enjoy her 20s. I will definitely be on my toes, I wont commit to any feelings or actions until she says what she needs to say, and I'll react accordingly. I really cant tell if shes a shallow person, when she rejected me I was class 2 obese and now I'm barely obese, a 40 pound difference from when she first met me. my muscle mass skews it too. I cant fault anyone for rejecting someone whos that obese. I am still fat, dont get me wrong, but I have muscle and with my face getting thinner I think I've become more handsome than I thought I would.

>>17984847
I should also say she's not conventionally hot. Like I dont think you'd see her and say "damn I wanna pound that gigadonker into the ground" or something, but she is short with long black hair, has a very pretty face with large eyes, probably the feature I like the most about her physically, and stays in shape. Attractive for sure.

She doesn't really feel like the manipulative type, she's a bit quirky, nerdy, and can be downright weird sometimes, something I find very endearing, but not necessarily appealing to the mass market. She can also be sarcastic (very sarcastic sometimes) to the point of being mean almost, which can be a turnoff for guys who want their women to be a bit more traditionally passive or humble almost. However, I find that be one of her most attractive traits. She doesnt know I think this about her, even though I've been clear I find her pretty and like her eyes specifically, but if she really is opening up to me about her feelings, I think it would be the right time to say all the other stuff, dont you think?

Also, I should mention that after the conversation that led to me creating the OP, I said we changed subjects, but I didnt say we texted almost continuously for the next 3 hours or so, talking about nothing in particular just letting the convo flow, it's the longest we've done that and I can't tell if thats a good thing or not. Should I text her today? Just a casual "hey" or something just to keep her engaged, or do I let that "desire" or whatever to build toward tomorrow when shes supposed to come by? I feel if I text her, she might be encouraged that I'm willing to stay engaged with her, but on the other hand, it could come across as clingy or something else, and letting her get nervous/excited for what see has to say when she comes over might allow her to feel more strongly about seeing me since we didnt talk the day before.

see what she wants, but don't let your guard down, OP
all women are manipulative and in my experience when a bitch comes back out of the blue after a year of no contact with some bullshit about how "we need to talk", it means she just got played or got dumped and is looking for an emotional tampon and/or a rebound

again, see what she has to say but take it with a grain of salt. she'll tell you the truth but only as she sees it
do not let your guard down

>>17984916
This is my fault for not explaining thoroughly in the OP. It had been almost a year of no contact on both of our sides, no fault of anyone really. Until we saw each other at a bar when I was out celebrating a friends bday, she came in with some mutual friends. I expected things to be a bit awkward at first, but I played it cool. I saw her, we recognized each other, I smiled a big goofy grin and as soon as I did she returned the smile and we hugged. We kind of jumped into our normal thing. Made a bit of small talk, shared a few beers and we were flirting/teasing each other all over again. We were talking all night, only interrupted when my friend had to leave and he was my ride. She texted me not too long after when she got home and said that it was good seeing me tonight "I forgot I always have fun with your stupid face" it was there that I thought that, along with how the night had went, that she might be into me now. We texted until 3 am, and then texted daily, like i mentioned, and have hungout once since then. That night was 3 weeks ago, she only texted me all this opening up stuff last night after I ignored her text the night before. She didnt drop out of the blue wanting to talk about her feelings, we had been talking for a while and maybe that night gave her the impetus to tell me how she feels because im not some guy she could put on the backburner,

But absolutely not letting my guard down, I cant be objective about my own feelings, which is why I come here for an opinion divorced form my own biases. I completely agree with everything said here and will take a very wait and see approach and preparing for disappointment as the most likely outcome.

Btw she just texted me now pestering me about calling the doctor about my leg, which I promised I would do when we talked yesterday. I guess thats a good sign?

>>17984902
>a bit quirky, nerdly
Escape while you can OP, these are usually the most manipulative kinds of girls.
at least in my experience

>>17985745
Maybe, but I can't deny my feelings for her. I'm willing to take that risk I guess. Like I said, I'm expecting the worst here. If she does have feelings for me and she turns out to be this manipulative imp...well I'll live and learn. Sometimes you gotta take risks and and put yourself out there. I'm tired of fear getting in the way of what I want. And if it goes wrong, then I'm just that much better prepared in the future.

If shes trying to pass her problems onto you just next her and politely tell her to leave, otherwise just fuck her.

Tl;dr
>op says "maybe" to every response and elaborates on every far fetched possibility

Be prepared for a breakup.

>>17983710
Okay look man I don't know this woman so I can't guarantee you that she isn't an attentionwhore. But realize that you are being a big time flaky player here going by your friend's advice. It comes across like you play mind games with her, where she needs to pull something relatively extreme to even get you to not ignore her. Don't expect that to make a grand impression on any reasonable, sincere human being. She's most likely wondering what the fuck she did wrong or whether you're just a giant douche.

It sounds like she has some type of romantic investment in you honestly. Inb4 so the strategy worked, I rather think that potentially "losing" you all of the sudden forced the decision on her to face her feelings. Though again, I don't want to rule out that she's really just in it because you played her, but in that case you should tread carefully because she's no prize.

Also honestly does your friend have any reason to say these things? Did she do something shitty to someone, is she known to fish for attention or does she need favors/advice from you a lot and doesn't maintain a two-sided conversation? Because if none of those, I don't see why he's shitting over her so hard, and it could be that he's stingy that someone is interested in you.

>>17985935
>>17984985
Oh Jesus just saying this now. That makes it so much worse on your/his side. You haven't seen each other in a long time (how long compared to how long you've known each other?) and it's very well possible that upon further reflection she realized she had harbored feelings for you, or she was surprised by something now.

>>17985877
Maybe. Contextualizing a situation isn't a bad thing, more information leads to a better deduction. A piece that seems relatively simple can become a bit more nuanced when new information is presented. People comment, and I respond, that's kind of how a conversation works. If I had just info dumped ever little interaction and minor detail at the start, no one would fucking read it, there's a balance there. If people decide not to engage with me, I wouldnt have anything to elaborate on, would I?

>>17985881
If people dont read, why comment, bored?

>>17985935
I dont think ignoring a text makes me a big time player, I was actually busy after all and it would have been rude to take the time to respond in my situation anyway. The reason my friend and I agreed is because before (when I first met her) she did everything you said. She asked me advice about her crush (who is a mutual friend) all the time, even though he was taken. She would hang with me and spend half the time just asking about him. She also went on a date with a different friend as well, idk when, and he told me how she basically ghosted him after their date, I'm pretty sure I know why, but there are still better ways to handle it than the way she did. And yes, before it was pretty one sided convos, we would text a few times and then nothing. When we text now I've actually had to stop her and say I'm going to sleep or going to do something because otherwise we could text forever, kinda like what happened last night as well as today.

I dont know where you get the notion that my friend is shitting all over her. I told him my situation and he simply said she probably just likes the attention, and he knows about everything I've described here up until Sat night. He knows I asked her out and she rejected me, we both went in with the assumption I'm still only a friend to her and trying to figure out if she sees me different. Like I said, my feelings are known to her, balls in her court.

>>17985937
I met her maybe two months before we stopped talking, not exactly a long time. We hung out a few times with other friends and only twice one on one. Including a really embarrassing "date" that wasn't, thank god she didnt realize it lol. During that time we texted over the course of two weeks, I didnt get number until a month after I first met her. It was enough time to get friend zoned apparently.

I would say it was two months of knowing her and about 9-10 months without contact.

so what the fuck did she want OP?

>>17986894
it's monday.

>>17987065
Thank you, some people are just retarded i guess.

I spoke to her more today, she asked me if I was going to this event a local bar holds every tuesday since my leg is fucked up. I said yeah, i can maneuver enough to get there, but since we were gonna hang at my place that I was willing to just ditch. She said she was gonna come over and that we can talk about what we need to talk about and we'll go together.