Sex lowers self esteem

>>17983126
Is that you in the picture? I want to lower you self esteem some more

Your identity has become less of your own possession and more of someone else's. It upsets you that someone else now somewhat understands something that is the only thing you can know for certain.

>>17983138
Wow, that's really deep.

That's what I needed to hear. Thanks! :)

I feel the same way, but that's because I used to be religious. If it weren't for that, sex would do nothing but make me feel great.

Sounds like you have some internalized guilt doing on OP. Introspect; what thoughts do the feelings lead you to?

>>17983134

No, i'm a dude.

>>17983138

I don't understand

>>17983146
Post your boipucci so I can lower your self esteem

>>17983145

I'm not religious. But I just feel like shit. I just want to crawl into a hole and die.

>>17983155

Why? What are you thinking/feeling when it happens?

>>17983181

I just feel like I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have gotten intimate with someone. Being so close to another person, It just feels "wrong".


and no, before someone asks, I'm not gay

Nah. Not felt that way, but I'm a guy and I'm pretty sure I will never feel that way....unless I get butt-raped. But your issue could be physical or psychosocial. Supposing there's a next time, you should try waiting til you're ready and then, I can't stress this enough, you should be the one in control. Sometimes, people just feel degraded if they think they aren't in control in certain aspects of their life, especially the sex aspect. So, I suggest, you take the reigns until your comfortable with letting your partner be in charge.

>>17983224

well, I've never had sex with a girl ive actually really cared about. There was only 1 girl I've ever really got attached to. Where I very badly wanted to get intimate with her. But it never happened.

The other girls I've been with I didn't really want, I was pressured.

How often do you cum? If it's often (More than once every 3-4 days) then feeling shitty immediately after cumming is normal.

Try to ejaculate less frequently. After not cumming for a few days, you should feel waaaay better after/during sex.

>>17983246

I fap maybe once every 5-6 days. But my orgasms are pathetically weak anyways, so I don't even know if it matters

>>17983246
Every 3-4 days is too much?

>>17983242
>I've never had sex with a girl ive actually really cared about.
maybe you feel guilty for being a degenerate

>>17983359

what..

Post coital depression

you most likely don't love the person or have an emotional connection to them.

>>17983433

Maybe, but I don't think that will happen..

>>17983433
lack an emotional connection*

>>17983439
it's a real thing. research it.

not everyone can be a fuckin tinder account liberal Chad. some people need to form significant bonds for certain things to have value.

>>17983448

I don't disagree with you.

I'm just saying I don't think I'll be able to bond again with someone

>>17983126
I like sex, but kissing a new person feels like it cheapens me, mainly because I feel coerced into doing it

justmethings

>>17983126
This is probably a mental phenomenon caused by your upbringing. Aomehow you were made to feel like sex is a gross despicable thing, or that you must only save yourself for once person (wife).

You just have to realize sex isn't an institution. It is a natural need of all living things. We are programmed to have intercourse.

>>17983482

>It is a natural need of all living things.

I can't agree with that. Infact that exact statement really upsets me

>>17983472
takes time.
i also felt that way till recently.. met a Christian girl that was nice. Lives too far though. Point is, you wont know till you find that person. And even when you find em, no guarantee it'll work. Just saying, the possibility can relive, maybe never as deep as first love, but someone worthy of a relationship.

>>17983554

It just doesn't seem right to me. I gave all of my feelings and emotions to that 1 girl. I don't have any more to give to anyone else. It doesn't feel right.

One and Done. My one didn't workout, I feel done.

>>17983571
you're experiencing something I've experienced before due to getting head from a female friend.

rewind time 2 years before that, and my ex had broken up with me, left me completely broken. move forward 2 years, meet friend on deviantart, we meet, she gives me head, i basically have a mental breakdown, few months go by, we try again, even worse mental breakdown as soon as I came.. guilt, self loathing, torment, desperation.. i drove her home and i don't even know how i was able to drive..

i just felt like shit near her, depressed, laying around like a bag of dirt.. and because she was there for me, i remained her friend.. but, eventually she found someone by the time i felt mentally stable enough to ask her to hang out with me. and only ended up feeling like even bigger shit and losing even more respect for women.

i wasn't over my ex, at all. and trying to move on didn't help.

just give yourself time.. eventually somebody has to come along.

>>17983608
>just give yourself time.. eventually somebody has to come along

I'm glad you understand what I meant. Most people call me a faggot because I don't believe in putting my dick in any open hole.

But honestly, no girl is going to come into my life that will make me experience love again. I don't believe it. I'm sure it happens to others, but it won't for me.

You know how someone could go through a divorce and never find love and marry again? I feel exactly like that.

>>17983621
Happens to the best of us bro. Just try to find peace of mind. Because kicking yourself forever wont do shit to help.

I hated my life for 5 years after that ex, lowest self-esteem imaginable.. by the fifth year I couldn't take that shit anymore, I was screaming at walls.. ended up going to an emergency room with my mom and waiting 8+ hours for a free prescription for celexa. Took it maybe 4-5 times, stabilized me a bit. But I just became a bitter person needlessly with the years after, shit job, lived alone, only child, etc.

Focus on finding peace. I found it through Jesus, and telling my mom about many personal things, got that off my chest, it helped.

Better days.

>>17983642

Saddest thing was, we never got physically intimate. I guess that shows real love, that I could feel so strongly for someone ther we never had the chance to actually get intimate due to distance. Fuck my life

>>17983621
And yeah, one does feel like they've depleted their ability to love once they lose someone they truly love. Sadly, just how it goes. Love doesn't die though, it just changes. You will change, develop a certain level of self worth, inner strength, and by the time you do find someone, you will know to protect your heart, and love a lot more carefully. It wont be that strong love you felt, but it may be someone worthy of your respect.

>>17983668
My situation was long distance too. You probably wont believe this, but my first time having PIV sex was with that girl (in 2008), both virgins, and basically my life went downhill from there. Tried to hook up with a few girls years after, nothing worked. In retrospect, I'm glad it didn't work with a lot of em... if not all of em.

Today, I feel spiritually ready for someone, but no one is here. Your life could be much worse...much worse.

>>17983692
it was also my first and last time, can't seem to find anyone good for me.

>>17983735

I'll never find a girl again like my first and only love (sounds cheesy as fuck saying that, but it's true)

That girl literally changed my life. Helped me get on the right track, all with a big smile on her face. I'm so grateful for how she helped me. Even tho things with her are forever over, she will always occupy my heart. I literally can't give it to anyone else

>>17983482
Well not exactly. It's a natural need to reproduce. Sex is the tool by which you reproduce. It isn't the need itself.

>>17983745
Time will pass, and you will notice that she is simply no longer there (never was really, cus distance). She isn't there.. where she needs to be. Those who truly love you, are there. Family, is there. Anyone who would wish to start a family with you, she too will be there. Those that AREN'T there, aren't worth it. If you ever find yourself in a LDR again, do what I did with this Christian girl I met recently.I asked her to move in with me. She refused because she didn't wanna leave her family. She isn't ready now, or maybe never will be. But flat out, if the girl isn't willing to get on a plane to move in with you, or you go and move in with her, don't bother investing so much in LDR's.

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>>17983134
HOLY SHIT MY SIDES

>>17983787

>family is there

Nope. I dont associate with my family

>find a girl to start family

That will never happen. I don't want a family, I never want kids

>>17983823
well maybe your family isn't there, but they should be..

and not wanting kids, well plenty of ppl have multiple reasons why they don't. but they may reconsider if they found someone good.

>>17983835

>well maybe your family isn't there, but they should be

No, it's fine. I don't care about my family. It literally does not bother me at all. family holds no value at all to me. It's perfectly fine.

>may reconsider kids if they found someone good

I promise that won't happen. Even if my "one" came back. I stil wouldn't want kids. I hate kids

It happens

>>17983571

I'm guessing OP's not very old, hence his quickness to think he has decided the course of his life already and is going to stick to it every day, 24/7, from now till the end of his existence.

>>17984580

I'm 26

>>17984581

So barely a a quarter to a third of your life. Good job bro. Give up on ever having any hope because you met a girl one time and she was nice but it didn't work out. And then you didn't really like two others and it wasn't fun so it'll never work ever.

You sound like you're 10 and tried to ride a bike.

>>17984601

That doesn't make sense

>>17984622

Neither does your mindset of refusing the chance of being able to form an emotional connection with a real, live human female because you gave your heart to some girl halfway across the country/world, and then she had 'circumstances' which meant that your relationship ended. And the circumstances were probably that she met some dude that lived near her and she wanted an actual relationship instead of one over the internet/phone.

I'm pretty sure you'll find a woman you connect with out there. That's why I'm telling you it's like you tried to ride a bike - you kinda figured out how to have a relationship in your head (LDR) and then when you tried to ride the bike (trying to have sex) you fell off because you weren't doing it right (having a relationship before the sex, just random sex you were coerced into having).

Hence the bike analogy. It's whatever OP - you'll either meet someone and hit it off, or you won't. Not caring about it until it happens is for the best anyway.

>>17984639

I don't really know what to say

I bet you were just really bad at it and the girl kind of didn't say anything but it was heavily implied. Shut the fuck up and watch some yt tutorials on how to do the sex better.

>>17984648

Actually, the girl really liked it, she texted me the next day saying she wanted more.

I did not enjoy it tho

>>17984643

How many times did you meet the one in person?

>>17984664

twice.

>>17984668

...That's it? And because of those two meetings your life is sealed?

>>17984670

I don't know how else to explain it, other then we met online at first. Became platonic friends. When we met IRL, it was clear we both liked each other a lot. Over the course of the following months we had nonstop contact. Really developed feelings for her, as she did for me. Then I visited her again, and things ended.

>>17984674

How long did you know her throughout the span of your friendship? What were the circumstances for ending the relationship? "I visited her again, and things ended" doesn't say anything.

>>17984685

I had known her for 3 months before we met IRL the first time. But total time 1 year 5 months.

She told me she couldn't do a LDR. Which, I understood. Then she moved on to a local guy a month or so later. But it really fucking hurt, having the connection that I did with her. For it to just end without being able to really do anything. It put me into a pretty rough depression at the time.

>>17984694

>can't do an LDR
>moved onto a local guy within a month
>had already been having lots of thoughts and advances from said local guy beforehand

This is why LDRs don't work, and why they shouldn't be a standard to hold relationships to. It's too easy to lose interest in someone who you can't see regularly without a plane ticket or an extremely long car ride.

Trying to say that this girl is the only person who will ever touch your life is kind of childish and short-sighted, sir. I mean no offense but you've got a lot of time ahead of you. Don't be so rash in thinking you'll never have anything.

>>17984704

It won't happen again. That was a very rare thing to happen. and well, it won't.

I accept it.

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>>17984708

Okay, whatever you say bro.

>>17984731

Girls don't just show up in my life like she did. Not only that, but no girl as cute as her as ever been so nice and respectful toward me, and treated me so kindly. She was and is a wonderful person.