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How to not put women on the pedestal?

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I feel like it's really hard not to when you are a average or below average dude.

I will admit, I am super desperate and thirsty to get a girlfriend. I mean, being 28 and never had a girl will wear you down pretty badly

It's easier to treat women normal or even like garbage when you have the option to throw the away. Like if a rich man spills some water on the ground, he probably won't lick it off the floor.

If a poor man spilled precious water on the floor, you can bet he will lick it up or try to get it back in his jug.

I feel women have a ton of power in a relationship. Like... I have no redeeming quality so how could I not be desperate.

Help.
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>>17978543

you need water to survive. you don't need a girl to survive.

the issue here is that you choose to treat women like they are a rare element, a commodity. they aren't. they make up 50% of the population.

and when you treat them like an award, an appliance, a rare metal, or what have you, you dehumanize them.

what girl wants a guy who is desperate for any girl he can get? what girl wants to settle down with a guy who only went after her because she was the first one to agree to go on a date with him?

girls want to feel special. not like anohter in a long line of random women you ask out because you HAVE to get a gf
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>>17978543

>i have no redeeming quality so how could i not be desperate

thats not true, but lets pretend it is true. the issue here is that you are desperate because you treat girls like they are a necessity. of course you're going to be desperate if you will do anything in your power to keep one in your life.

learn to live life without a woman and you wont be desperate for one.
>>
Dude, the answer is shitty, but it's true.
Build up yourself, your life... You will attract women through it, throught being in love with life itself.

I know how you feel, I'm 25 and never had a girlfriend, but I've had success and am still having it with women.

I worked my shit straight up from a awkward kid and teenager to a man of value. I'm not the general beautiful person, I'm the ugly guy who dresses well and looks good.
I studied philosophy and work with game design... Yes, such a 'must have' guy right? Damn no.
Still, I love what I do. When I talk about it, my eyes are bright (girls told me that)...

Believe me, girls are not what will make you feel better. I'd advise you to chage your whereabouts if you've been there too long. Meeting new culture might help you change who you are, act in ways you didn't know.

Other than that, you should really work on your life and your love to it. Maybe a shrink could help, who knows.

There always PickUp Artistry to look at too, but I'd also advise you to check your sources well, for there is many shitty guys pretending to know it - and there's also many stupid mistreating and evil guys claiming there way is the best.
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>>17978543
I've given up.
Im fat, lazy and unmotivated.

All i do is surf the internet, watch porn and work my ass off during weekdays while watching my beergut grow so large i need to get larger pants.

And ive accepted this existence. I will never become attractive and i will never have a girlfriend. I dont actually think i deserve one, and i really feel unattractive. I dont think i even want one right now. I want my life to be perfect, there has to be nothing to be no insecurities before i try my luck with women again.

I think i will probably be 35 or maybe 40 before i have my first gf, if ever.

Right now, im not really putting anyone on a pedistal, im just ignoring them completely.
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Since you are not atractive by the sound of it, just know that you should not have such high expectations. Also realize that being with another person is not a nececity in life. I asume its not that you want a woman but happiness, which you can achive weather you have nothing. And if you feel unloved remember that God created you and he loves you deaply.
>>
One more thing is that you should leave everything you dont want and just start walking around the world in a huge adventure. Bruce lee once said "do not ask god for an easy life, instead ask for the strength to endure a hard life"
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>>17978608
I'm not op, but life is shit in general, and when it all becomes "ok, 10 more years of being alone and working 40 hours a week" it's really not worth it, i think atleast.

I mean, why even live when you're just a drone, working and making money to be able to pay debts, taxes and feed people who are richer than you.
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You could define a relationship as a mutually beneficial exchange of services/goods/intimacy/etc. You can always do something nice to your partner, however (in most healthy relationships) requests are then made. For example, a man can fix the leaking sink, the man then asks of the woman to make him his favourite meal (or a bj). In most cases, you ought to offer more than you request (at first it's almost mandatory for a good start to relationship). Something like a 10 to 7 ratio. You won't seem as desparate, in my opinion.
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>>17978620

single =/= being a drone
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>>17978630
Ordinary people are singel like "being between jobs", im more like "unemployable".

You could call it being a relationship neet.
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>>17978635

sure, if you choose to be that way. or you can give up the hunt and focus on having a good life.

people act like you're not allowed to enjoy yourself unless you're doing it with a girl.

whats the worst thing that would happen if you go and have fun by yourself?
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>>17978630
And you tend to become a drone when you're socially isolated and work is your only purpose in life.

I mean, even if having a beer with friends some times is fun, it's serves no purpose. Yoyur work the highest sense of purpose you can have besides making cildren and taking care of your family.

There is not much more to life really.
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>>17978638
Because i do not really have fun alone. I had fun yesterday playing japanese arcade games with a friend and some bar. That's fun, but also meaningless in it self.
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>>17978644

>you become a drone when work is your only purpose in life

than make more purpose

>even if you enjoy something it serves no purpose therefore you shouldnt do it and become a drone

you choose to be this way, i hope you know that. tthere are millions of singles out there enjoying their lives and you are insisting its wrong to enjoy it unless its moving towards maybe having kids one day.
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>>17978652

>fun is meaningless

than you dont need a gf cuz its meaningless anon :^)

just pay a girl to bare your children, that way you can serve your 'purpose' and not have to actually live life.

you are CHOOSING to be a drone. you are insisting its all that matters.
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>>17978652
*at
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>>17978658
No, i would like to start my own company.
Honnestly im too scared to do it alone.
I need the social support. I need a partner to reflect ideas with.

But everyone else is busy with theri wives making children.
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>>17978663

>im too scared to do it alone

thats a you problem

>But everyone else is busy with theri wives making children.

and working on their pre planned careers. why should they drop everythign to assist you in a dream that you're too dumb to do on your own?
>>
OP here, I think my issue is that life has really just like eroded any sense of fun or adventure I had. Some friends asked me to take a vacation Mexico with them. I said fuck no. I hate that place even though I've never been.

They asked me where would I go then for vacation and I said to my bed.

Something is wrong with me for sure. Like everything seems super cancerous and aidsy.

I tried going places by myself and I get there and just drive off after because I think "this is fucking stupid". What do you do when the whole world starts looking like shit?
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>>17978692
Getting women can be compared to those knight stories about winning a damsels heart by slaying the dragon. You can't nice away the dragon with gifts. You can't talk to the dragon and expect it to come around to your side. You've just got to kill the damn thing.

This dragon can take several forms. Your finances. Your looks. Your personality, or lack thereof. Many factors create this dragon.

And this is why you place her as such a precious object. You've never slayed the dragon, or even tried to slay it. You see the woman as porcelain because you believe you can never beat the dragon. So you spend your life bowing to the woman knowing that deep down inside you're just a coward.

Killing the dragon isn't easy. You'll die many times trying to slay the damn thing. Luckily, you never really die it just feels that way. Each time you face the one thing you desire more than anything else, it gets closer to you until you finally cut the dragons head off in a bar, back at your apartment, at your wedding where you marry your princess.

You want to be good with women? Man up and slay your dragon. That's it.
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