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I want my ex back

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Thread replies: 29
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8 months ago

>I'm part of the marching band at my uni
>I mostly hang out with my friends
>A new girl joins the saxophone section I'm in
>she is really quiet
>she texts me on accident one day, and I continue the conversation
>we really hit it off and we text everyday.

1 week later

>we text about everything and just about life in general
>when the conversation dies down I brought up my ex and how I liked being in a relationship
>tell her that I broke it up because we had nothing in common, but she was my first girlfriend
>we eventually get to the subject of who we like
>I tell her outright that I don't like anyone
>she tells me to guess
>I guess several guys, but she says I'm not even close
>I say fuck it, "Is it me?"
>says yes
>I tell her I'm oblivious and I wish I knew sooner

1 week later

>she is still quiet, but I make an effort to talk to her and spend time with her
>she begins to open up and we hang out in person
>I ask her out on a sushi date and everything goes perfectly
>the sax section meets at a local coffee shop, and me and her stay after
>we have a mini-date, and I ask her to be my girlfriend
>she says, "I'd love to"

2 weeks later

>the marching band season kicks into high gear
>we hang out all the time at every competition
>we sit next to each other at every football game
>at one game, I talk to a girl in front of me
>my gf begins to tear up because she said she was flirting with me
>I didn't even notice, but I tell her that I'd never leave her
>she calms down and we continue talking the rest of the night

3 months later

>it is Halloween
>she goes to a friend's party
>I couldn't go because I had family over
>she posts a few pics with this guy named Jacob
>I don't think anything of it
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>>17978387
1 month later

>it is championships, and after this the band season is over
>we spend the day together
>we have a fight in the afternoon because she spends too much time with her friends and we both feel neglected
>she cries and I ignore her
>I come to her about 20 minutes later and apologize
>she says sorry as well and we continue one of the most memorable nights of my life.

1 months later

>we hang out less because the band season is over, but the band still does a few things over december
>we hang out and everything is great
>I tell her that we don't hang out like we used to
>the dilemma is that if I'm with her, her friends ignore her the next time they hang out
>the same friends hilariously enough say that I ignore her
>winter break is about to start and we say goodbye, but promise to keep in contact
>I stop by a few days later and give her my gift to her.
>she hugs me and I hug her back
>she wanted me to stay over longer, but the friend giving me a ride wanted me to hurry up

5 days later

>It is new year's eve and I text her all night
>I'm with family, so I can't be around her
>I didn't have enough money to pay for her ticket back to California
>the next morning she sends me the pic related

This is where everything goes to shit
>>
>>17978387
Move the fuck on man. This was a small little relationship you had. Use it as experience for your next one, and improve the things you couldnt in this one. Do not pine over this. It is over.
>>
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>>17978429

>I ask her why she did it
>she says that the relationship wasn't what she wanted and that we stopped impressing each other
>I get annoyed and say a few mean things
>we stop texting and I ignore her

1 week later

>I write her a letter telling her that I miss her and that I want her back
>A mutual friend of ours delivers it
>she writes a letter back and it basically says she wants to be friends
>I begin to read guides on getting exes back and they all share one thing in common
>I need to ignore her for 30 days
>the problem is next week is a band trip to Disneyland

the next week

>I'm there and I just have fun
>Jacob is in our group and eventually leaves
>he goes to her group
>okay...
>I find out that he planned to ask her out, but didn't because it had only been 2 weeks
>I find out from a loyal female friend that she has a long history and she has cheated on other guys before
>she posts pic related

the next day

>I make a similar post saying I wish she didn't cheat on me
>I get a message the next day from her in the morning

>"I didn't cheat =("
>tell her about Jacob and she says they're just friends
>tell her to meet me in the library
>at this point, we haven't spoken in person since I went to her house to give her the present

later the same day

>I wait to meet her at the library at the time I specified
>she doesn't show up
>she says she got nervous
>I see her later in the day and we make eye contact
>she knows something is up

After class

>I see her look at Jacob during a rehearsal
>I'm so out of it and feel sad
>the two walk together in the direction of her dorm
>I blocked her, but I hadn't blocked him
>I see the snapchat story and it looks like they went out on a date
>the last pic has her flipping off the camera and saying move on
>I cry my eyes out and tell everything that's happened to my dad
>he says that she wasn't worth it and that I should move on
>I feel better, but I now feel angry
>>
>>17978465
we spent so much time with each other and she was the first girl that's told me that she loves me
>>
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>>17978496
>I post a few of her semi-nude pics on my snapchat story for about 20 minutes
>she freaks out and tells me to take them down
>she tells me that the two aren't together and that she was planning on coming back
>she now says she can't trust me and is trying to be more mature
>I find out the next day that she began to cut herself and had a panic attack

The next day

>I come up to her in person and tell her I'm really sorry
>she seems to be so out of it
>she doesn't look at me and says nothing
>I walk away and look behind me
>she's there and she's crying
>looking at me

the following pics are from that night
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>>17978526
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>>17978530
>>
>ignore her for 30 days

That's a myth used by breakup counselors to get you to buy their "secrets."

The truth is no contact works, but texting her in 30 days will do nothing 99% of the time and will actually ruin the results of your no contact.

What you need to do is say "hey sorry I got so emotional after the break up, I think a lot of other things were stressing me out too. It'd be great to see you again sometime, take care." Then NEVER contact her again. Not in thirty days, never. No social media likes, no texting, no contact in any shape or form. You should actually unfollow and unfriend her on all social media.

This worked for me and I tried the 30 days no contact, it wasted 30 days of my life. After going full no contact and moving on, dated other women, etc she texted me after three months passed saying she missed me and she wants to get back together.

Don't contact her ever again. If it's meant to be, she'll contact you. NEVER CHASE AFTER BEING DUMPED.
>>
>>17978533

I'm planning to ignore her for about 45 days and then I'm going to text her as a friend. Then after a few weeks, I'll begin to call her. I want to repair what we used to have and I don't want her to go with Jacob because he is short, sleazy, and manipulative. What should I be doing?
>>
>>17978545

Dude if she's seeing another guy and you keep pursuing her you're just going to push her right into his arms. You're being a weak little bitch. You got dumped and you're still chasing her? Also NEVER ask to be friends with a girl who dumped you. That's so pathetic.

Back off completely. My ex rebounded too and after two months of not hearing from me she dumped him. By you staying in contact with her while she's getting fucked by new men, you're just making it easier for her to move on.

Back off completely. You've been reading retarded guides that never work in real life. I recommend you watch this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbJIiYSOpOo
>>
>>17978541
She doesn't trust me and I don't think anyone would want to date me. I have a sort of a reputation and everyone except my closest friends just give me dirty looks. I'll follow your advice and see what happens
>>
Dude wtf im not reading all this shit
>>
>>17978561

Your mindset is negative and beta. Focus on improving yourself and your confidence. You have a lot of work to do on yourself and she was right to dump you.

You're weak and needy. Start doing pushups and letting go of attachment you have to your ex. When you are worthy of her and impartial to the idea of her never coming back, THEN you'll be ready and around that time is likely when she will contact you.

If she texted you right now "hey let's meet up" and you are in this mindset of "nobody wants to date me I'm pathetic" then you're going to ruin your chances of reconciliation when she sees you during the meetup. You're just going to confirm to her why she dumped you.
>>
>>17978551
she asked me to be friends earlier and I implied that there is no way I would want that. The other guy goes after girls who have just broken up and every single time he's tried, the girl gets back with the original boyfriend.

It wouldn't even be a real friendship, it'd be like prepping for a new relationship and everything would be focused on that.
>>
>>17978568
I just figured it's better to be more detailed than vague
>>
>>17978577

It doesn't work like that. If you never want to date your ex again, sure be friends. But if you think being friends is a backdoor to starting a new relationship you're in for some pretty severe heartbreak.

Do yourself a favor and move on. Stop contacting her. If she reaches out, arrange a meetup. It may take a few months, so don't sit around waiting for it. It also may never come, be prepared for that.

You have to move on or else you're going to have her on your mind 24/7. Your hair may even start falling out due to the stress. Fucking move on. If she loves you she'll come back. If not you'll find someone better.
>>
I read your entire story op. Seems like retarded high school drama to me. You're both crazy and need to grow up.

To try and be positive though just let it go and move on, it's going to suck for a while but you guys weren't even together for that long anyway
>>
Forget about her Timothy. You're being clingy, not attractive.
Posting her photos on your Snapchat story was fucking retarded. Why would you think that would make her want to come back to you?

As another poster said, the best thing to do is to back off completely. Don't send her messages or antagonise her by being a whiny little bitch

She may or may not get back with you (I wouldn't if I were her) but if you carry on like you currently are there is zero chance

Move on
>>
>>17978602
I know it was retarded. I was pissed and I wanted to get back at her.

It did what I was going for, but it didn't make me feel any better afterwards.
>>
>>17978533
>>17978530
>>17978526
>>17978496
Holy fucking shit kid, you have to be 18+ to post here
>>
>>17978614
oh, is it because you never cry or don't trust your parents on certain topics
>>
>>17978387

Every feeling you have for her is due to neural connections you've made in your brain. You developed a pattern of contact with her that literally restructured different regions of your brain, in much the same way a drug does to a drug addict. Take away the drug and what happens? Dopamine and serotonin decrease, cortisol increases.

The feelings you are feeling are very much real, but understand that with time your brain will rewire itself to get over her. And that is exactly what you have to do. STOP CONTACTING HER. You said Jacob and her were heading to her dorm. What do you think happened? Dude was probably balls deep inside her. Stop being her emotional tampon. Stop showing your insecurities to her. Grieve and cry, but you will get over it.
>>
>>17978526
Yikes. You are one insufferable human being anon.
>>
>>17978694

Everyone was once a stupid teenager in love. He'll look back on this and cringe.
>>
Jesus Christ I've always wanted you anons to give more detail but this is a little over the top don't you think? Fuck it I won't judge.

Alright, so in review it seems like you're a big dumb idiot. And that's okay; I'll tell you from personal experience that a lot of guys and girls can be big dumb idiots after heart-tearing breakups and fights. Everyone can be a dumb-shit idiot if they put their mind to it and in the advent of emotional trauma your mind isn't really anywhere. What you need to do now is pack up your bags and go, because it's going to be your best bet to get this girl back and hopefully learn how not to be stupid.

And yes I'm indulging you right now anon; there is a chance you could get this girl back but I'm only saying it because I don't want to answer your "How do I kill myself" post on here in a couple days. Sometimes a little hope is all you need to not be totally retarded.

So let's get started. Follow what every anon on here is telling you to do: Back off, move on, don't contact her, don't follow her on anything, don't involve her in your life in ANY WAY. You've pushed and pushed and pushed her away. You've made mistakes, texted her constantly, and for fuck's sake posted pics of her on your Snapchat? Alright, there are some girls in the world who will go fucking crazy over shit like that after a breakup. For some, desperation is attractive and sexy. For your girl, I can tell you for a fact it ain't. Shut everything the hell down and leave her out of your life.

What does this do? It gives you a clean slate. it lets you improve on what problems you had between you two. It removes you from having to worry and worrying means you suffer twice. If you don't you both push her away, and watch the love of your life give love to other guys. You've got problems anon, but so do we all. You've got time to fix them so fix them.
>>
>>17978732

Good post, except for the part about giving him hope. He won't be suicidal. He got his heart torn out and he went to his father for help; he'll do it again once he realizes that whatever he had with her is done.

OP, you're going through hell, but it's temporary.
>>
>Posting someone's nudes to spite them
You're a piece of shit, OP
>>
>>17978732

And the whole being friends thing? Stop that shit. If right now you're in the back row of her life then being friends will get you seats in the front row and nothing is better than watching the ex you love love other guys.

Now let's be really real: you've got a ghost of a chance with this girl anon. Sure yeah, miracles may happen and even I, myself, ended up pulling off what I thought was impossible, but the honest to goodness best advice I can give is to prepare for nothing to happen and for this chick to be out of your life for good anon. She is gone. She is not your girlfriend or your friend or even your acquaintance anymore. She is just some stranger that maybe you once knew.

You need to pull through. Look back and say, "Hey what we had together was pretty good and I enjoyed it, but there were some things that were pretty awful and I'd like to not have to go through that again." So don't. Take what you screwed up and make it better. Don't have those problems again. She is gone. You'll have another chance with someone else maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, hell maybe tomorrow you'll fall in love with some ten cent prostitute who knows. Don't screw up again because I don't want to write all this shit out for you again anon.

And hell believe it or not this is also your best shot at being with this girl again. Funny how that seems to work?

Anon, shit happens. People make mistakes. Relationships are hard and never seem to get easy, but the ones that are worth it make doing the hard things, well, worth it. I won't say you'll be back together and in love in a few weeks, or even a few months. Sometimes it may honestly take years. You gotta take this time to atone for your mistakes and be the better anon that this girl wishes you were.

And take this all lightly. I'm just another anon who went through similar shit. I'm no professional. I could be 100% wrong. You know this girl, you know will work and what won't. Take your time my boy.
Thread posts: 29
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