Going to make this as simple as possible:
-Had a fling with a girl over the summer
-She had a boyfriend she didn't want to be with anymore
-I caught feelings
-Things fizzled out
-I still think about her all the time
-Start dating another girl in November to help ease the pain
-Things fizzle out after a month because I half ass the entire thing because my head isn't in it, because obviously I'm thinking of the first girl
-I tell first girl how I feel
-She says she's sorry she dropped off the face of the earth, she's been a basket case the last few months
-Says she's still down to hangout sometime
-I'm not holding my breath, I think she just doesn't want to tell me to fuck off and hurt me
-I come to find out the second girl still wants to be with me
-I'm considering getting back together with her but I'm reluctant because I'm faced with the "What if..." of restarting things with the first girl
What do I do? Do I just go with the second girl? I did like her. Just not as much.
Dude take the first girl up on her offer to hang out. Figure out what's up with her. If it's a no go, go for the second girl.
>>17977124
Guess I'm just worried about coming across as clingy or desperate. I'm not either of those things, but when you like someone you like someone. She was exciting and fun. I just don't know how to initiate it in a way that won't look fucking pathetic.
>>17977117
THE FIRST GIRL SAID SHE HAS BEEN A BASKET CASE. Woman don't even make it difficult to decipher if they are crazy as fuck or not. Just drop her and focus on the girl that is actually interested in you
>>17977215
She wasted five years on a guy who cheated on her, so yeah she's been a basket case
I've known her for two years. She's the type of person people take advantage of because she's too type b and too nice to assert herself. She's one of the least "craziest" girls I've ever known.
Which leads me to believe that maybe she's not being sincere when she says she still wants to hang out.
>>17977233
Unassertive to where it is hurtful to oneself sounds crazy af to me, she is probably really clingy, too. Woman have this way of always portraying himself as innocent, like they could have contributed to any of the cheating of the boyfriends part, (not directly of course, but indirectly, unfulfilled needs, lack of attention, sex etc)
All I am saying is that by her saying she is a basket case, whether you can justify it for her or not she probably still has feelings for this guy, and is no doubt carrying a ton of baggage, hurt, lack of commitment, loss of love, yada yada yada is the shit you'll have to deal with that is if she wants to date you. and that is if she stops dickin you around
>>17977258
I just learned that there are woman all around, and when you stop fixating on 1 or 2, you stop having to deal with all the bullshit they seem to have
>>17977258
Her boyfriend is an unhinged drug addict. I think that part of the appeal she saw in me was that I'm not that, and I have my shit together.
Anyways, yeah, I've considered all of these things, believe me. The baggage, the hurt, etc. I know. And I can handle that if she ever decides she really wants to be with me.
But it's not often I meet somebody that I like that much, and I wish she fucking cared.
I want to talk to her one last time about where we stand. I just don't know how to do it.
>>17977281
I really like you/see you as a partner.. (insert positive qualities and traits you see in them) done. If she says no, do not be friends with her. Why do you ask? Because friends with a woman you desire is like a free trial for them, you dont have to commit shit to you, while extracting they want from you. Guidance, advice, money, attention etc.. Be direct and break it off if she declines, dont bother wasting energy on somebody who is not interested
>>17977303
Yeah, I learned that lesson a long time ago. And yeah, I was taken advantage of.
Anyways thanks. I'm going to get a hold of her this week and just put it all out there (even though I feel like I already have).
Don't have time to waste anymore. And I'm effectively putting the second girl through the same thing the first girl is putting me through.
First's the worst, second's the best, third's the one with the hairy chest.
>>17977303
This. This, this, this.
Hate to sound generic, but you'll learn from, and be able to control those feelings in time so you won't put yourself in the unfortunate "beta" role that so many unsuspecting guys do.
Shit, I wish I had one good fling for a summer, let along two. Count yourself very lucky man.
pic unrelated btw