How can I make myself be more loyal to my gf? I've done

>>17976491

you can't, other than continuing to struggle. you are the only one who can control your mind.

you can also surrender control of your body over to someone else. like keep certain rules taht your girlfriend checks up on you for. like shes supposed to go through your phone whenever she feels like it, at least once a week, and you're not allowed to go out without her.

but its pretty hellish

>>17976497
In my case it is virtual flings. I've had girls hit on me relentlessly in real life and I shut them down.

I have a disconnect in my mind with what I do in real life compared to online. Does that make sense?

It sounds like you have too much time on your hands. When you turn to virtual reality, you tend to neglect the things in your real life, including your girlfriend.

Do you still live with your mother or something?

How do you have time to cultivate flings online?

>>17976794
I have my own apartment and my gf stays with me 99% of the time. And it's more like I'll just find a slut to send me pics and flirt with.

I'm in no way taking attention away from my gf. I only do this when she is at work or something. When she is with me, I have no urge to do it.

>>17976869
Well that is cheating. So, you can either be honest with your girlfriend about your lack of commitment or you can go on being a cheater.

Better yet, don't be monogamous. I am sure she'd like some outside attention from other guys too.

Be honest and your relationship will be fine, eventually the guilt will catch up to you.


>When she is with me, I have no urge to do it.

I am pretty sure no one ever ordinarily cheats on their partner while they are present...

>>17976881
We have brought up open relationships before. So I don't think she would freak out if I brought it up. If she did what I did, I wouldn't care that much. Before I started dating her, she was an online slut.

And I don't want to come clean until I can stop from doing it. I want to at least show her I can change.

And I meant in the way that I am not taking any attention away from her. I'm trying to keep my bad habit from affecting her in any way. She's not being neglected attention wise.

>>17976869
my bf does this to me and it is destroying us since i found out.

I told him if i find out he hasn't stopped, I am going ghost, blocking him from everything, and he will never see me again, and he'll know the reason why I left.

I am tired of arguing about it. Bf claims its an addiction. I personally think it's just disgustingly narcissistic and attention-whorey and beyond pathetic.

At the same time, my soul and self esteem has been crushed because the girls I caught him talking to are generally tumblry sjw wanna be "punkers" and femnazis and female hipster edgelords. Basically everything we used to make fun of. Makes me wonder if that's what he wants me to be.

I think my boyfriend is severely madonna-whore complex and narcissistic and just immature on this level.

He's literally on his last chance and I honestly wonder if you are him, OP.

The sad thing is we are getting older, and if my bf does not stop he will no longer be attractive to the 18-19 year old girls he does this with, and will just become beyond fucking creepy.

>>17976891
That is such a fucked up thing to do. To continue to cheat on her UNTIL you can stop?

"I will tell my wife about the affair when I have stopped fucking the office whore" For example.

You will never stop because you are too cowardly to confront the consequences of you telling her about your "struggle".

It will affect her later when she learns that you kept doing it, knowing it was wrong... doing it until YOU decide to stop.

You are very selfish.
I guarantee she will catch on, dig a bit too deep or start noticing. Unless she is not a very observant person.

Then again, a slut is a slut and since she was an online whore before, she probably still is. That kind of craving for sexual attention doesn't just disappear. It's a sickness of the mind.

Good luck with your shitty dishonest relationship.

>>17976895
That's because those are the girls that are the easiest to get to send nudes. I doubt it's his preference.

I don't believe I do it for attention. I think I just want a quick fap and it gives me a rush much better than porn.

How old is he, by chance?

>>17976898
I've told her I have done it in the past and we never discussed it aside from her telling me not to do it.

I'm afraid of bringing it up before I realize the problem will just make me look like I am not trying. I want my relationship with her.

I've thought about that, but she doesn't have the time to do it. And as long as it's not physical and I don't know about it, she can do whatever she wants. It ain't hurting me.

And aside from this, I haven't kept anything else from her. That's why it's so hard to keep this a secret.

>>17976918
>And as long as it's not physical and I don't know about it, she can do whatever she wants. It ain't hurting me.

You have a lot of issues.

You are ok with her having an emotional affair as long as you never know about it?

>>17976918
He is 28.

>>17976920
I wouldn't call what I'm doing an emotional affair, but ya.

I mean, as long as she's not choosing him over me, why would I mind?

I don't own her, she can decide for herself.

>>17976918
>I think I just want a quick fap and it gives me a rush much better than porn.
Because it is a much more "real" girl, thinking you are hot enough to send nudes to, and so you can both shower each other in the sexual attention you want to get off from.

That is literally the only difference from doing this versus looking up a similar looking porn star or cam model and fapping to her.

>>17976943
I never send pics of myself. Most of the time I don't even tell them my name.

>>17976950
You don't have to. My boyfriend didn't either. They still give you attention regardless.

If you want to be loyal, you need to stop justifying this.

Or just be single so you can indulge in this fantasy without bringing other people down. In the end, you'll be lonely.

>>17976941
>white people mentality.

>>17976941
If you really believed this shit, you would just be openly polygamous. But you don't even believe your own shit lol

If you don't OWN her, then let her have some fun with different dudes for a quick thrill of her own.

You are deceitful. And with deceitful people comes all kinds of wack hypocritical and double standard bullshit. Your whole relationship is based on lies and cheating.

>i rape my gf during her sleep but it's ok because she doesn't know

Scum

>>17977006
I'm afraid to bring it up honestly. What if she runs after I mention it?

>>17976952
I'm not justifying it. I do want to stop. I'd rather be purely monogamous than have an open relationship.

>>17978485
Tell her you need to talk and be honest with her

>>17978485
>I'm afraid to bring it up honestly. What if she runs after I mention it?

You can't hold someone hostage with lies.

Just be honest

>>17979524
>>17979549

I've already told her in the past though. It's not like she would break up with me.

>>17979567
THEN TELL HER.

>>17979576
Why, if I'm still doing it? She knows I've done it in the past, so I'd rather work on fixing it.

Hey OP. I'm a girl and I often have cheating type thoughts (actually, I just like attention via flirting; I'm rarely legitimately horny for another guy).

Anyways, my advice would be to always be more open with her. The 'hiding' part is what will make you more likely to cheat.

I'm not saying that you should tell her "hey I have the urge to cheat on you again". But find out what is making you unsatisfied.

Is it lack of sex? Then tell her you have greater sexual needs.

Is it lack of attention? Tell her you feel neglected

Lack of appreciation? Tell her you feel unappreciated

If you /have/ been flirting with other girls again then tell her that too.

>>17979592
Same girl here. Also to add, you need hobbies to keep your mind occupied. Hobbies that you genuinely enjoy. So that your mind stops desiring these things.

k that's all

>>17979592
It's lack of sex. Haven't done anything in 3 months. I bring it up, but it never goes anywhere.

>>17976491
Do you have no guilt, shame or remorse when you cheat? You're destroying your girl and you don't even care. You still choose to click that mouse and hit up whores online knowing youre creating scars that might last a lifetime on her while doing it. She will carry the pain you created for her for a very long time. Think of these things when you feel the urge to be a toxic perveted asshole. Hold yourself to higher standards. Is this the kind of man you want to be? Have you no pride in yourself? Most people grow up wanting to better themselves but you're so stuck in the loop of pulling your little winky to your computer youve lost sight of what life's all about. You're doing it wrong. Only you can change yourself. You have control over your impulses and body so just simply stop. Stop being a boy and making excuses and be the man you want to be. Recognize it will take time for the thoughts to completely go away, but they will.

>>17979629

According to him, what she doesn't know won't hurt her. So he continues to deceive her.

>>17979666
Lol the truth always comes out. She probably knows just is in shock or denial. If youre with someone that often something is bound to pop up eventually. I found some truth today and wow does it hurt. Its amazing how one moment can drastically change your life

>>17979691
What did you find Anon?

My ex was hooked on strippers and spent our engagement party money in one night. That's when I knew his addiction wasn't going anywhere.

>>17979666
Are you forgetting where I've told her once before? I just don't see the reasoning of reminding her while I haven't solved the problem.