Not even sure if this is deserving of a thread, but basically

>>17971180
He's seeing it coming from an outside perspective
Like, of course you're going to support him. You're his GF. Someone from the outside "means" more because it's not assumed.
It's a bit shitty yeah, and I can see how you'd be disappointed
But it's understandable why he'd feel that way

Do you think your relationship can handle a conversation that frank?
Depends on the people involved and so I can't say one way or another.

But neither of you are wrong to feel the way you both feel

>>17971180

sometimes its hard to appreciate something thats there every day. when people are being supported daily it can almost sound like nagging.

she may also have just worded it better. its kind of like when soemone comes to you saying they have a problem and all you say is
>DONT WORRY
>IT'LL GET BETTER!

and you say that a thousand times. than someone else just says 'i get it, ive been there' and they just actually talk about the problem.

then you say you feel crushed because you've been supporting this person when all you do is spew platitudes.

im not there, i cant say what it is, and your fears me be correct. he may just have a crush on this girl and thats why it struck a spark.

want to find out?

>>17971180
classic case of one partner taking the other for granted. looks like its not your fault, provided the information you have volunteered is accurate and complete.
enjoy your breakup

OP did you ever think the reason he's sharing this success story with you is because he recognizes your desire to see him succeed? You've been encouraging him, he sees that, and he wants you to know its not all for nothing.

>>17971207
>Do you think your relationship can handle a conversation that frank?
I don't know. I fear coming off as petty and seeming jealous over something that probably seems small to him. I just don't think he sees how much effort of my own time I put in him.

For example when we register for classes, his registration times are when he works. So I run home as fast as I can or take an extended work break to run home and register his classes for him. I stay up late to help him finish school projects or peer review his essays when he's at work. A lot of what I do, he doesn't see me do.

>>17971216
>want to find out?
Is there even a way to do peek in his mind. I don't think he feels that way about her.

I don't nag. I only talk about school when he brings it up. I never say things like, "you've got to finish school." It's more encouraging. Like, "You're so close, you're going to be so amazing in this field." He's really down because he is behind in math. And I tell him, "don't let one subject that isn't even used in this field stop you from graduating. It's just for the degree."

And stuff like that. I never nag or complain. I make an effort not to because nagging is so useless.

>>17971240
I don't know. I just heard the tone of his voice and just felt hurt. He never talks about me like that when I help.

>>17971256

>is there even a way to peek in his mind.

no. but that doesn't mean you can't find out. there's just consequences. sometimes ignorance is bliss.

>i dont nag
>i swear i dont nag
>this is an example but i dont say it in a nagging way

again, when someone hears the same encouragement EVERY DAY, it can feel like a nag. FEEL LIKE, as in, its not a nag, it just feels like it. and again when you say 'just get through it' its a platitude. this girl may have resonated deeper.

>>17971256
I'm sure he knows how much "effort" he puts into you :^)

But seriously, what you got here is a power inequality.
It's always been true that the person who cares the least has the most power
And it doesn't seem you have the most power, eh?


Regardless of anything of our bullshit talk, the truth remains that you aren't happy with how the things are.
You can either ignore it or change it
It seems obvious to me that you want to change it
So talk about it

Maybe over a few beers
That helps me reach my emotional self

COMMUNICATION

sit him down and tell him everything you wrote here. Chances are he had no idea how shitty he was being. I always try to show appreciation to my girlfriend but even then I can be an ass from time to time.

This is pretty big though. And sort of odd he would take the time out of his day to let you know he has chats with other girls. I cannot imagine letting my GF know I had a nice long, motivating chat with a female coworker unless I had some ulterior motive to make her jealous.

>>17971937
Almost 20 years ago, during a major, prolonged family crisis, all my friends did the best they could to console me and tell me it will be okay. I expected it from them and it didn't help much, though I appreciated their effort, of course. Then a coworker I didn't have almost any connection to (appreciated she is nice, but we were polar opposites and I didn't talk to her much) said the same encouragement, but somehow she restored my faith that everything will eventually be okay.

It just happens sometimes. He didn't believe in himself, then this woman told him something which nudged him in the right direction. You should thank her.

If you get the vibe he does not appreciate your love and effort from other stuff in your life, then it is time to have a serious talk. If it is just this one thing, just this once, then it is ok.

>>17971989
Sure, but why would he tell her? I think I'm being pedantic here, but it just strikes me as odd. Sure, every-one talks to coworkers of the opposite sex, but to make a point of telling your girlfriend about it, idk, a little weird.

I work in close proximity with a lot of girls but I don't feel the need to tell my girlfriend about what great chats I have with them.

The more I think about it, the more this guy strikes me as self-absorbed and a narcissist. OP, I'm guessing he doesn't return the sort of appreciation and support you give him. Sounds like he really takes you for granted

>>17971180

I haven't read the whole thread but judging from your first response I think It's perfectly normal what happened, and also you're not wrong to feel a little jealous and upset.

I would bring it up with him to get reassurance, which I'm sure he would do in a heartbeat. But even without this you have to rationalise it a little and understand that he would definitely appreciate everything you do for him and you would be a huge factor in his motivation. It's just that on this particular day he had someone who he wasn't close to shine some new light on things and motivate him even further. It does suck for you but it's normal for people to appreciate and be encouraged by outsiders more so than their close loved one.

It's similar to say him complimenting your looks for the hundredth time and you saying "thanks babe" and then getting complimented by a handsome stranger in the streets where you blush and it makes you smile. I remember with my ex she would even have girls shower her in compliments which would sometimes make me jealous how happy it made her when she never reacts like that to me, but I keep it to myself because its irrational jealousy.

This girl is probably the next girl. Trust your instinct. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't. (But welcome to relationships in general. Next minute you're in your 30-40s cooking bf/husband meals every day and he just walks out to go fuck his mistress whenever he wants, whilst you clean the dishes.) Yeah, I've been there. It only gets worse.

>>17972302

Lol the paranoia is insane, you have no basis here except that OP's boyfriend talked to a girl which he TOLD HIS GIRLFRIEND ABOUT. The fact he felt uplifted and motivated by someone he doesn't care about and felt like sharing his cheer with his partner isn't cause for concern.

>>17971180
Are you from Eastern Europe?
He won't really find work with college, so why does it matter?