I dont know why my girlfriend loves me and this is giving me anxiety.

>>17970042
She love you for you. If she loves you for something else, it will surfaces.

Just have fun. At least your not single

>>17970042
Why don't you think she loves you?

Is this just a feeling or are there are specific things that lead you to think that?

Just think that "You deserve love"

>>17970042
Do you feel like you're not worthy of love in general OP?

that sucks op. i have the opposite problem. my gf asks me why i love her all the time and its starting to get annoying as fuck.

>>17971204
>my gf asks me why i love her all the time and its starting to get annoying as fuck.

lol, the chores of being in a relationship. i member that. fuck that shit.

had a stupid insecure timewaste gf that asked all the time if i loved her and when i answered yes she would say "how do i know youre speaking the truth?". told her to cut the bullshit because that paranoid shit aint sane for anyone.

>>17971002
Wrong

No one deserves love but you get it anyways. That's why it's beautiful

>>17971230
All humans are worthy of love.

>>17971296
I'm not generally cynical but I highly disagree.

>>17971296
Yes and no.
All humans are worthy of love and hate equally

>>17971301
Would you share whybyou disagree? I'm curious.

>>17971311
I think if you take love for granted then you don't deserve it.

I still love people who I don't think deserve it though. And I think sometimes I don't always deserve the love I have. Which is why I agree with this person >>17971230
What makes loving other people even possible is being able to forgive yourself, and through that forgiving them.

>>17971296
No humans are inherently worthy of anything, which is what makes accomplishments worth doing.
If everybody deserved love then everybody without it would be defective.
Are you saying we're defective, anon?

>>17970042
take what you get and enjoy it
one day one of you could fall out of love and that is nothing you can control
we all will die someday and she could go before you and you will be hurt or you could go before her and she will be hurt.
but for now accept that you are being loved and be joyful for that.
then when one day the worst happens you can always look back and know you were loved

>>17971336
Nope. Not saying anyone is defective. In my worldview and core beliefs, I believe all humans are worthy of love since I care immensely for people. I was just curious as to why the other anons on this thread thought differently. I don't judge. I don't have to agree either. It doesn't mean I think less of anyone.

>>17971350
Have you read the Lord of the Flies?
Or fuck, ever read a god damned newspaper?

You act like you're a suburbanite where you're judging people by their fucking lawn ornamentation

When people can justify raping murdering and torturing other people, it isn't about "Oh well it's just the crazies that did that".
No, it's a huge group of people

Humans are inherently evil held back by society

Think about it
Why is it that whenever states collapse and society is at its weakest, that it's also the most disgusting part of the world?

Why aren't there any African utopias?
You take away the rules and people with guns who enforce the rules, you get fucking Africa

Go live there, fucker.

>>17971350
If everybody deserves love then why must so many of us go without such a free and infinite resource?

Nobody is entitled or deserving of love until they can prove it to others, and even then it is not deserved but earned and given as a gift.

>>17971372
Lol damn. Dude has a point though.

>>17971372
Yep. I've read lord of the flies and even seen the movie. I read a bunch of news websites and personal news blogs. I love all humans, yeah even the ones who do unspeakable acts of horror to other humans. And nah. I'm no suburbanite. I've lived in some pretty shitty places with shitty people and in fucked up situations. It's funny to me you react so strongly saying I'm judge-y without even knowing who I am and what I've been through.
>>17971374
Do children need to earn love from their mother and father? Yeah, some children aren't given love by their parents or their family and that's fucked up. Would you tell a child they should suck it up since they need to earn it?

>>17971393
How can you love them? The people you say you know and that have done horrible things?
You aren't Jesus
Your compassion cannot be infinite
How can you love and I mean really love someone who has abandoned so much of their humanity?

>>17971393
I wouldn't love my children because they "deserve it", I'd love them because I care about them and have no reason not to, and because love is what will help them grow up healthy. Implying I do it simply because they "deserve it" is an empty reason to love someone. To me it would send my children the wrong message, that love is like a wage I pay them because they "earned it". Sounds like some weird religious bullshit if you ask me.

>>17971406
I love them because I don't believe humans are inherently evil, that they're not even a "them" or "other." I believe that humans who choose to do these acts are themselves in immense pain. Of course I'm not Jesus. I don't believe that for humans to choose to do such horrific acts doesn't mean they're abandoning their humanity. To me I see them as coping in a severely terrible horrible way with their pain. And yeah, there are psychopaths and sociopaths out there too. They're human. And in a sense, I believe that these people struggle with not being able to access parts of what make us human.

>>17971413
Exactly. So why is it any different with grown people? Why do children get loved automatically but adults need to earn love in order to be worthy of love?

>>17971419
Of course they're in pain
We're all in pain

The difference between a man and an animal is that a man in pain can see when another person isn't hurting them while an animal will always strike out

An animal deserves no sympathy
People like you are the ones who try to do the "Walk for Peace to Syria" and get raped in fucking Turkey

>>17971393
>Would you tell a child they should suck it up since they need to earn it?
Largely yes.
Parents give their child love because they choose to. The child is not beholden to it.
And should a child not receive a parents love, they should suck it up. Life is not a fun ride and sometimes you have to deal with it.

>>17971424
I never implied that adults need to earn my love either. Maybe another anon did but thats not me.

My stance is that I don't have to love someone if I don't want to. Thus, no one deserves my love. I also don't choose who I love. If you claim to love everyone, then thats not a world view. Thats a way of being for you. And my way of life is different than yours.

>>17971426
> People like you are the ones who try to do the "Walk for Peace to Syria" and get raped in fucking Turkey

It's funny you keep acting like you know me. I'm enjoying having a dialogue with you anon in understanding your perspective and communicating my own. Do you feel like I'm trying to tell you you're wrong? I disagree with you and respect you, I can see where you're coming from. I'm not trying to get you to change or anything man.

>>17971432
Fair enough. That's makes sense. Thank you for the clarification.

I should clarify that I make a distinction between deserving love and being worthy of love.

>>17971434
Those assumptions I make of "you" are those I make of your argument.
The failings you see in them are not failures in me being able to read you but rather failures in how you presented yourself

Look, I totally get mutual respect
I'm here explaining myself when I can just fuck off and jerk off.

I just don't see how you can live a practical life you think that everyone has your best interest in your heart

Go visit Rome and listen to the gypsies
Yeah, you see how long you go with your fucking wallet intact.

Go read a history book on every human interact that doesn't have a weapon involved

People are fuckers. A person or two can be nice. That's true. A person or two can be respectful. But people? Never
You need weapons

Think about it.
There are no two peoples who have ever existed next to each other and never fought a war
Never in all of history.
50 000 years of humanity
And no two peoples have ever coexisted without fighting

Because as soon as you get a group of people together, that group will want to fuck over a smaller group

Funny where this thread started and where it went.

>>17971447
My loving people doesn't mean I believe we can exist in perfect peace and harmony. I've experienced some bad shit in my life. I know how people can choose to act badly. I've been in countries where there are Roma people who choose to steal and lie. Just because these things happen doesn't mean I should choose to live in fear all of the time of the people around me. Certainly I live smartly, I don't just go walking around giving free hugs and shit to everyone I walk by. I don't live in fear though and I don't live like I'm always on guard either. I see people as they are as well as I can. since I actively work on seeing my flawed self honestly, at the same time.

>>17971474
I'm the other anon not the one you respond to. It sounds like to me you choose to love everyone despite their flaws, and I admire that. But choosing to love someone in no way implies they deserve your love. Don't you see how that would take away its meaning? To me you seem like a strong person to be able to live in this world and try to see the best in everyone, I too try to practice this. But... I don't see how it implies that someone can deserve something that they take for granted. It would destroy the very meaning of love to me.

>>17971474
Then your problem isn't perception but interpretation

People who won't change aren't worthy of love
That's the bottom line
You can't just tell them that they're doing wrong things and then they'll change

They know that people don't like what they do
That's why they deserve hate, not love

>>17971483
I see what you're saying and I agree. I make a distinction between "deserving" and being "worthy" of something. I see humans as being intrinsically worthy of such things as love since I see humans as having intrinsic value. Does that make sense?

>>17971487
> People who won't change aren't worthy of love
That's the bottom line. You can't just tell them that they're doing wrong things and then they'll change

This implies that I expect people, who choose to do wrong things, to change. I know some people choose to knowingly do things that cause severe harm to other humans. I simply disagree with you.

>>17971493
Yea, I get that. I agree more with that now that you've made your distinction.

>>17971540
People who won't change despite explaining to them that they're wrong deserve to die

That's blunt but I don't think you can disagree
If a rapist says he likes raping people and knows everyone doesn't like it, but he does it anyways, does he deserve love?
No, he deserves to be eliminated

Society only exists because people are willing to kill those who defy it

>>17971548
Yeah, there are consequences for terrible horrible decisions like your example of the rapist who enjoys raping people. Absolutely that person should be put to death. That doesn't mean I don't love them. They're a fucked up human being who has a fucked up mind and/or a fucked up past- neither of which excuses their behaviour. I still choose to love them. It's just what makes me who I am. Don't know any other way to explain it to you anon.

>>17971557
You're conflating love with understanding
I think that's our fundamental disagreement
I can understand rapists, murderers, pedos, and otherwise disgusting people
But it doesn't mean I love them

I understand but I don't love.
Love means something more than understand. It has an aspect of condoning. And I can never do that.

I can see the person but I can never be that person.
That's the difference.

>>17971563
Would you say then that to you, love equals acceptance of the person as well as their actions?

>>17971568
No.

Even if I do understand why my wife cheats on me, I do not love her anymore.

>>17971575
Is love conditional to you then?

>>17971585
That's a really fucking good point

That's honestly thrown a wrench in my engines of thought here

I think it has to do mainly with who is the first to be unfaithful or otherwise not-worthy of love

Oh man, this is complicating my shit

Forgive me, I'm pretty drunk, no surprise

What does it mean that someone is unfaithful?

Ok, so being conditional means unloving me for something I don't consider worth not loving me for.
That doesn't mean anything.

This is complicated

^I enjoy reading both of you two share your perspectives but I think this anon needs to go to bed now.

>>17971607
You've been drunk this whole time? Pretty admirable you've been able to have coherent conversation this whole time anon.
If someone cheated on me, I wouldn't "un-love" them or believe them un-worthy of my love. I would still love however, they'd be un-worthy of my trust and I would leave them. Doesn't mean I'd love them less.

>>17971052
Yes. Why?

>>17972201
If that's how you feel, of course you feel anxiety not knowing why your gf loves you. You don't accept yourself for who you are and can't possibly fathom why another person would. What's stopping you from accepting yourself?

>>17971230
Stop being cute, anon!

>>17970042
That kind of sounds like guilt. Just try to be a better boyfriend.

>>17972431
Not Op, but I too feel strange when people say they like me or give me attentions.

I accept who I am, and who I am is a bad person. I can't seem to strip enough of my ego and express my emotion to the ones around me. I feel the need to keep this mask of the "strong and experienced" guy for the sake of my well being.

I don't hate people, I actually like alot of people. I even love one right now, problem is: I can't seem to express it. I lived all my life repressing my emotion that I don't know what else to do. I don't like emotion because they always hurt me, and although I found the hurt useful in growing up, I decide to avoid it.
So I feel unworthy of love, because me myself can't seem to express my love to others, to the ones that express it to me.

"You only get what you give" and if I'm giving shit, why should I get gold?

>>17971372
But in extreme situations people take extreme measures.
I'm not that anon, and while I disagree that everyone deserves love I do think most people do. Not because they did something to deserve it, but because just existing is an act of suffering. I won't dehumanize someone that committed a mistake.

>>17972487
I understand what you're saying. Seeing your emotions as good or bad and then repressing them has gotten you into serious trouble. Your emotions are apart of you and they're not good or bad, they simply exist and they exist in order to communicate something to you and to be expressed to others in a healthy way. Just because you don't know how to express your emotions or don't know how to express love does not mean you're not worthy of love.

>>17971426
Again, not that anon, but I'd rather be hurt doing something good than do nothing at all.
I guess I should just be thankful that we're all cheating natural selection.

>>17971336
Most women are inherently worthy of love and protection I suppose.

>>17971424
Children get loved because they never had the chance to show their worthy. We give them the benefit of doubt.

>>17972582
Aren't children human beings?

That's just your low self esteem. 50% of why you like your girlfriend is probably that she's there, friendly, and not opposed to fucking you. Now you, on the other hand, are applying all of these high standards to yourswlf: "what do I really offer? do I really measure up?" Now my advice is that you stop putting your issue on to her and just focus on the exact reason you can't believe she likes you. Do you believe you are ugly? That would be one example.

Oh this is exactly me.

>>17971204

>starting to get annoying as fuck.
I suspect that I might or already have scared her away. She told me that it's slowly getting annoying.

I am going crazy now because she isn't responding to messages and it's a LDR. I am seriously worried that something happened to her and I don't know what to do. I'm not getting those "seen" notifications. I know that complaining on here doesn't help, but I don't know what to do, please just let her be okay and I will change

>>17972646
If ur gonna ask why she likes you at least be chill about it

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