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Anonymous
Mental block on sex is ruining my life... 2017-01-18 03:44:43 Post No. 17969110
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Mental block on sex is ruining my life... 2017-01-18 03:44:43 Post No. 17969110
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Hey all, a bit of a weird one here that has taken me some courage to finally admit.
I have a massive problem when it comes to sex that has essentially ruined and fucked up so many potential relationships.
My problem is that I seem utterly terrified of doing sexual shit with girls.
I can make out just fine and shit like that and even do some heavy petting and stuff, but when it comes to the point where I am in a bedroom I just freeze up and make an excuse and chicken out of fucking.
I'd basically consider myself a virgin as the only time I've ever had some was when I was blackout drunk and the poor girl has to guide shit in and stuff and it makes me feel extremely emasculated and shitty about myself. I just can't bring myself to make moves on them because I'm afraid of it, I'm afraid of sucking in bed and I'm afraid of them for judging me for it.
I'm 20 and unfortunately not a bad looking guy, I work out, dress well, have a good social group and I'm pretty normal.
I also get really uncomfortable about other people talking about sex, especially girls I like because I feel insecure or weird or whatever.
I think the fact that I was stuck in a boys board school (not sure if you yanks know what that is) between the ages of 11 and 19 hadn't helped as I didn't speak to any girls then and never had the opportunity. I'm also probably weird in that I never look at porn because it makes me uncomfortable and normally just jack it to nude pictures.
This has become more of a problem for me since last year as a number of opportunities (like 8 times) I've had has been fucking stupid for me to not do anything. A girl invited me round to watch Netflix with her, I refused because I knew she wanted to bang and I got scared. I just lost another girl who I fucking adore because I never ended up fucking her despite having all the chances, and I eventually admitted to her my problem but she still has feelings for me but she's VERY experienced and I'm not. TL:DR sex scares me need help
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>>17969110
I think you are acting rationally in an irrational age. There are huge and sometimes lifelong consequences for intimate relationships, so you should treat it seriously, hence your trepidation. You're chasing sluts from what it sounds like and for your careful approach, you should stick to more traditional girls, virgin or inexperienced would be more up your alley.
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Just find a website that lets you find casual sex with people in your area. Make it known on your profile that you're a virgin. I know I know people will say "Don't fucking do this" But you'll get responses from people interested in taking your virginity and not caring that you're a virgin
If that doesn't work, search the site for people in your area who say they are virgins too.
If that doesn't work then get somebody over using the website and use the excuse that you're rusty and apologize because it's been awhile. But that you're willing to get better and do what they want you to do to make the session hot. Then that puts them in control and they tell you everything they want you to do and you learn that way.
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Either:
A: Find a tinderella or escort to practice with
or
B: Communicate with your partner that you are new to having sex and ask her to show you the way. She'll be glad to help and think your communication is cute.
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>>17969269
I generally don't believe the whole slut/good girl thing, if people can enjoy casual sex for fun and not put themselves at risk during it then all the better for them. Life's about having fun and I don't subscribe to the whole redpill/bluepill noise...
And I don't attract traditional girls nor do I find them attractive, my attitude and humour and the like are always too crass for them and all the ones I've known have been incredibly bland with no spark for life. My social circle and stuff just doesn't get anywhere near those girls. Maybe I'm just yet to find the one.
I can't help shake the feeling I've missed out by not banging the girls who, bless them, gave me every opportunity to make moves. I mean they've all been pretty fucking hot and awesome people too.
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stop looking at BBC cuck porn on 4chan
that kind of stuff takes a mental toll
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About to turn 28 and I'm in the same virgin boat, I want to actually care about and stay with someone
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Find someone patient and kind to date and go slow. Tell her your problem and agree to just cuddle naked or something at first. Get comfortable with that before moving on to scarier things. And make it clear getting mad won't solve anything. If you are completely paralysed even by that, I'd suggest a psychologist to help you change your thought processes.
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