Should I stop being nice?

>>17965954

thats their problem not yours, dont compromise your morals, as /not/ being nice to them is just going to lead to different kinds of problems.

>>17965954
>Me being a bit mysterious about my dating life makes me even more desirable.
Well, that's probably something you can change, without stopping being nice. Just "I'm not looking for anyone/I'm taken/whatever".

>>17965954
Just be nice to everyone and perform well. Help people out and be a good worker. People won't think you're just a pretty face if your perform and you will be liked. I've never had a bad experience at work just becauee girls there thought I was attractive.

One way out is to convince them that you're gay, but then all the chicks try to hook you up with their gay friends.

Just perform well is all I'd say. And get a couple bros around you. Nobody dislikes their attractive guy friend. They get jelly maybe, but they don't resent you for it if they're mature.

>>17965962
I just joined in and I'm already hanging out with the seniors. I can feel the tense coming from the guys who joined the company on the same date with me.

I told them that I shouldn't hang out with them too much since it will hurt their reputation here but they dismiss it with some bullshit excuse.

Favoritism will play its part once again and I'm positive I'll get hated for it.

>>17965983
>>17965999

I tried that and it backfired a lot. Hell, I even pretended to be gay and it doesnt work. Something about me not being available makes them want me more.

Maybe I should just stop befriending people and just be that edgy faggot who doesnt talk with anyone because he thinks he's too cool for anything.
Also checked.

>>17966010
I seriously think your problem is caring so much what other people think. I don't know how you can be so insecure if you're attractive.

>>17965954
>lads are teasing me about how the girls like me and vice versa

what is this goddamn middle school behaviour

>>17966010
>Maybe I should just stop befriending people and just be that edgy faggot who doesnt talk with anyone because he thinks he's too cool for anything.
I honestly think you'd be worse off down the line. There's not much you can do but bear with it, and establish boundaries whenever women try to approach you. Maybe play it rough with people who get in your face, be the aloof guy (you can probably afford to be one and not come off as a rude autist, you handsome fucker), but there's no reason to assume you can't trust people to be your friends. Don't isolate yourself from everyone.

>>17966028
Sounds like a call center with a bunch of ged kids and community college single moms.

>>17966020
Yeah, I'm insecure alright. I get told that I'm ugly when I was in school. By the boys mostly. Even from some of my family member too. The amount attention I get from random people is probably why I get the cheap blows from my family. They said I should stop acting like im so special and and don't be arrogant about it, when all I do is smile and say thanks.

>>17966034
I just started here. I don't want to be hostile towards people I will work with. Maybe I should in couple of months?

>>17966035
It's just friendly banters most of the time. I didn't care much of it anyway. I just brush it off with "haha but the girls I met upstairs are cute too"

>>17966072
You should be more arrogant and more spiteful.

First of all stop wondering if you are good enough for others and start wondering if others are good enough for you. Why should you care what some manlet philistine thinks just because Brittney wants your dick? Stop being a pussy. Talk shit back to your family. I talk shit to my dad all the time.

>>17965954
Forget others for now.

I think your social issues are symptoms of a deeper problem that will require introspection.

What I would suggest is to start out by being nice to yourself. You will learn different ways of being nice. Pay attention to other people who are nice to you.

Learn to like yourself. Identify the things you like and how they make you feel.

When alone learn to enjoy your own company. Be a true friend to yourself. This will show you how you can be a true friend to others, and how to identify others who will be true friends to you. Even more notably, when you are true and comfortable with yourself others will be drawn to you.

Sustain this state by staying humble and avoiding others with negative energy. Just ignore the negative and be calm and content.

>>17966086
This is poor advice. You will basically be training yourself to respond to anger and negativity with more anger and negativity. Does it make sense to solve problems by creating new ones?

His advice is absolutely correct in terms of the importance of having thick skin and being able to defend yourself.

But learning now how to deal with problems constructively as opposed to destructively will allow you to grow and learn as a human being. You will be better prepared to capitalize on opportunities instead of sitting around and focusing on the problems that are pissing you off.

>>17965954
Why not just get a girlfriend? Seems like that would solve all your issues. When an ugly chick hits on you, just tell her the truth which is that you're taken. If you stay monogamous you don't end up taking all the girls and the guys don't end up hating you for that.

>>17966184
Anger is constructive. It fuels you to accomplish instead of stall and decay.

>>17965954
Get one good friend who isn't a jealous hater. Preferably someone who is also attractive. Ignore all girls, even when they try to talk to you. You have to go as far to not joke around with them as well as not flirt with them. Be boring to them. Joke about the hoes with the guys. Avoid taking any guy's prospect; remember you can do better.

Do all this and you have a 25% chance of everyone not hating you out of jealousy.

>>17966219
Anger can be motivating. But anger is rooted in fear. So are you suggesting that every time something goes wrong he should trigger fear and get angry? What is this? 1953? That's advice from four generations ago, or more depending on your age.

>>17966219
A positive attitude is far more constructive and far more effective fuel. Not to mention the fact that he will attract other positive minded individuals, improving not only his quality of life, but that of the other people with whom he interacts.

>>17966309
Fear of failure can either trigger self improvement or stagnation. Anger from it leads to self improvement. And anger from it is rooted in competition. As a man, it's wildly useful. Gets me out of bed, gets me to work, gets me to do my schoolwork, gets me to the gym, geta me to dress better, gets me to be wittier, gets me to read, gets me better at singing and playing guitar. My dad has a phd and makes a ton and he only did it out of anger and spite. And I can't let him beat me.

>>17966321
I'm positive minded and work at a charitable organization. I just don't even react to people who judge me because odds are I'm better than them. Dude called reading gay when I was talking to a kid about Dune and gave him my copy. Why even react to that?

It's actually thinking that this peraon is of any merit at all that I'm talking about.

When you compare yourself then compare yourself to great men and strive to learn from them so that even if you don't reach their level you at least have the odor of it.

>>17966326
I understand your point. I appreciate your honesty. I think we're crossing streams in terms of defining the utility of competition (which is massive) versus being a servant for others (which is how I'm guessing you interpret being nice). Being positive is how I suggested he treat himself, and to see how that affects others.

I'm sorry that you feel the need to surpass your father in terms of anger and spite. Seems like that should've been a learning opportunity to take the positive and leave the negative. I see your point, I just think there's a better way. Thank you again for your perspective.

>>17966333
Who are you responding to? Can you explain yourself more clearly?

>>17966382
I'm nice all the time. It's just that I do not fear being judged at all because I compare myself to the people I look up to. Not to others around me. I'm shit compared to the men I want to be like and I therefore have to learn from them and strive to be at their level. Spite and narcissism runs in my family. My dad grew up poor to a single mom so he felt he had to get rich and do better than his peers. My dad and I get along fine, him pushing me is a good thing. I talk shit because that's how we are. He gives me shit about my car being a mess, I call him fat. That kind of thing. He gives me shit about one thing I give him shit about another.

Being satisfied with yourself is like dying and retirement is just waiting to die. I never want to retire.

>>17966404
Well spoken anon. Thank you for clarifying, in the future I will temper my own words by remembering your point.

Now what you say makes sense. But I would simply call you very competitive rather than angry or spiteful, as you called yourself. It's the attitude of a gifted athlete, a fighter with ambition to succeed. I wouldn't even necessarily call it negative. What you're talking about is finding ways to push yourself and others. I don't want to bicker about labels or definitions, but to me that's closer to tough love and competitive camaraderie.. You use your "spite and narcissism" instead of it using you. An important distinction and one I will remember.

>>17965954

Welcome to the world of being a girl who's friendly to men. Except that guys start sobbing they're friendzoned and "led on".

Ask yourself if you're genuinely "just nice" (being interested and caring without acting flirty or for instance, setting appointments with them which could be mistaken for dates). Is any sexual innuendo cut from your communication with these women? Then you are in no way to blame. Don't feel guilty and indeed, be yourself. It's a great thing to treat people how you want to be treated, and you should never stop doing it because you set those chick's minds ablaze with your schmexyness.

Also counts for chicks (who often find themselves in similar situations)

>>17966547
>mindblown.gif
>not really

That's why people say women and men can't be platonic friends.

How about you use the fact that you're good looking alongside your charm and pleasantness to, I don't know, maybe find a girl who is on par with Your Highness and go out with her? Then you won't have a problem anymore. Guys will you know you're taken and be your friend, girls will know you're taken and any fawning will be discreet.

But you're a troll and this isn't real. There is no office/work environment where people discuss each others attractiveness that openly. None. Zero.

>>17965954
What makes you so attractive? Genuinely curious because I want to be more attractive myself.

>>17965954
I also hate you OP.
This has to be bait btw.

>>17966404
Calling other people fat is not usually considered nice though.

If your dad taught you that it's cool to be an asshole to others, and you're being an asshole, and chicks digg you because you're an attractive asshole, and other guys really hate you... well

you just confirmed my stuck-up perception of how this world usually works.

>>17966697
Being fat is a choice. Working out is basic fucking hygeine. Have some self respect.

>>17966759
Tell that to your girlfriend, if you ever have had one.
Good luck dude.

Watch this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPDPtt-eCn0

>>17966767
I have a fuck buddy because I'm not fat and don't have time for a girlfriend.

Work out, seriously. It's like brushing your teeth.

>>17966778
I probably squat and bench more than you have ever and will in 10 years from now.

>>17966778
Not him, but i can't help thinking that working out is being shallow. (That may be a shallow view but i can't help seeing that as pretty ridiculous.)

What are your views on that matter ?

>>17966806
Not him but how is it shallow?

Improving your health as it is is not shallow

Maybe people mighth ave different ends which make it shallow, but lifing in itself is not shallow.

>>17966818
It's shallow to imply
>All your life problems will be solved if you just lift bruh

Just no. As much as i enjoy lifting, none of my life problems have been solved by lifting alone, other than back ache.

>>17966818
Most people don't do this to improve their health, or at least it's not the first goal.

Most people do this to look nice to meet the dumb expectations of girls who care too much about looks. Sure, looks are important, they matter to me as well, but there's a middle ground.

That wouldn't be shallow if you're fat and want to get back in shape, but if you're already pretty healthy, it would be more respectable and manly (to me) to just be your own man without caring as to whether or not you have an olympic shape to impress shallow girls to get sex that will lead nowhere.

Sorry, i'm not that good in english but i hope i kinda made my point.

>>17966798
Yeah, at what bodyfat?

Do cardio bro

>>17966838
Basic hygeine amigo.

You can read and work out at the same time you know.

>>17966838
I sure wouldn't mind banging hotties, and working out would be a nice way to do that.

>>17966662
I hit the gene lottery. Thats about it. Manly face with a little bit of a sharp jaw. My beards are almost full. I dress well and i spend money on timeless fashion. Also smell nice. Spend some money in fragrance. Girls dig guys who smell nice. If possible wear slim fit clothes. Hit he gym so you look fit when you wear tshirts.

>>17966278
Whenever I see a cute/hot grills i just pretend to be interested in front if my friends. I hope that this method works because other methods doenst seem to work.

>>17966651
>girls will know you're taken and any fawning will be discreet.
Looks like you don't understand how human works. The more unavailable I am, the more attractive I'll become. I had a gf once. And i still get secret text messages from unknown number confessing their love to me depsite knowing that im taken. Also the fact that some of my friends hint on how they like me.

>>17966547
Alright, you have a point. I know some lads who are super bitter about getting rejected, and he straight away confess to another girl he likes within a month, and both the girls talk to each other about him, when im around.

>>17966125
People dont hate me on the get go. They hate me when they start to see the favouritsm is in play. When the boys starts hating me on this i hang out with the girls since theyre generally nice to me. This fuels their anger even more. But all i want is someone to talk with. I dont really mind if its a girl or a guy.

I had 2 different guy from the same circle who keeps pushing me to get a girl just because they want girls too. "Just pick one bro we all want them too". They even said that i was cockblocking them because all i do is hang out with the girls despite the fact that its them who shun me out of the male group.

Friends are the one i see from 8am to 5pm. I only get invited to see movies or hang out by the girls.

>>17967467
So I sound like I could be you....sans height since I'm a shortie, Grew out my beard, cut my hair real good and started dressing better. I have yet to hear a woman say that I'm handsome to my face but I do feel like more girls are interested in talking to me or just look at me in general. I could also use a bit more muscle, although I do already wear slim fitting clothes. Thanks for the advice though dude

>>17967467
>Whenever I see a cute/hot grills i just pretend to be interested in front if my friends. I hope that this method works because other methods doenst seem to work.
Why the hell would you pretend to be interested when you're not?

>>17967495
Lol don't hang out with girls faggot.

t. decently attractive dude
I don't get pictures asked to be taken of me though. I suspect you're that level.

It's a problem that nobody ever wants to listen to, because they think you're humblebragging. But literally just before I saw this thread, I had to reply to a drunk text from a coworker who was both mad at me for 'leading her on' and sad because she felt like I hated her.

I'm like dude, it's neither, just relax and move on. The older women at work have a running joke about the new girls falling in love with me, sometimes they put money in a pot. The attention and praise is nice, but it's unwarranted, I'm not some charismatic pariah.

Though there's a popular girl at work, every dude is after her constantly. Well, her and I have been talking about dating each other past week or so. So, that's gonna make a lot of people angry, some of whom are close friends of mine.

Just say "i'm a murderer" and they'll kitten off.