Late life virgins

>>17965399
No-virgin here, but only typing to tell you bustin a nut won't necessarily make that feel any better (I know that's not 100% of what you're saying either, but it still stands).

I'm 29 and have been single now 8 months TOTAL since sophomore year of high school (about 12 years ago). Got married in college and am now divorced. I'm getting dangerously close to the age where I would have to date significantly below my age (not bad but odds are they wont be emotionally where I'm at), date someone with kids (fuck that) or date an uggo.

Long story short, personally I would say you're less (or should be) panicked about still being a virgin and more that you're getting "up there" in the dating age (which I would strongly argue against).

Again, just because you haven't gotten any doesn't mean your alone in struggling with these sorts of relationship problems/dilemmas. Our past will always haunt our present and future. You are concerned that going so long without being in a relationship will make you somehow less attractive to others or less prepared to be in one when the time comes, or simply have done damage to yourself, and I'm worried about the fact that I've been in relationships for such a large portion of my life I have no clue how to be content in being alone, but I'm so far in the game I really don't have time to do that anymore.

I probably didn't help, but you ain't alone senpai.

>>17965448
That's the thing, I'm getting 'up there'... it feels so horrifying to get older and to know that all good women are gonna be gone soon.

I think the problem here is that you tink you need someone else in your life to be happy, you still young enjoy life dont box your self into stereotyphes srry for the bad english.

>>17965399

There are actually a lot of virgins your age range. Absolutely nothing wrong with taking your time and trying to find the right person. The only negative thing waiting can do to you is make you have self doubts about your performance but in my experience, virgins tend to try harder to impress which can make them better lovers.

You're fine op.

Hey Im similar to you I guess, fucked up my life and insecurity got me here. Finishing a CS degree this may at age 26 lol, going to fight hard to land a job before I graduate.

I plan on trying to play the field and start dating once I get my shit together at age 26. I don't know how it's going to go, but I will try. I don't want kids though or a girl who has kids from another guy. I'd rather be alone in life then get cucked.

>>17965458
Trust me, I've got the same feel man. But to be honest, it wouldn't be weird at all for you to date a 19-20 year old. Really it wouldn't. I dated a 23 year old for 8 months last year, a 5 year difference. Think of how man "options" were out there when you were 19-20. Think of how attractive for a girl it would have been to be that age and date a guy 5 years older than them. Just be confident and take care of yourself. Dress well, be hygienic, etc etc. You WILL fuck up your first relationship, you will do cringe worthy shit to keep it afloat, but just know that you can't know what you really want from someone until you've tried it. Don't think that the first one you bag as to be the last. That will end up in divorce and then you WILL be fucked.

>>17965399
I'm also 24 and a virgin.

>What if this long wait has damaged me forever? What if my development has taken a hit it can never recover from?
My social life is pretty "normal" in the sense that I'm not any more insecure than the average person and I can hold my own in most social situations that I find myself in. The "issue" with my virginity never comes up because it's isolated, it doesn't define me as a person. From now on I'd say you should try doing the same - don't let it be the one thing that separates you from everyone else, even if it does feel weird sometimes.

>What if dating now becomes about havin children soon and not about love anymore?
This is a very legitimate concern and whatever you do, don't lower your standards when it comes to this. Stay away from women who act like they only want you for their kids. r9k memes aside, there IS truth to some of that red pill shit about the "wall" because generally speaking, women who are young and beautiful have options and only want the best guy they can get. If she's only with you because she doesn't want to be alone - for ANY reason - stay the fuck away unless all you want is a fun night.

>What if never experiencing young love makes me forever resentful?
I've had opportunities in my life and turned them down either because I was kind of oblivious, I had unrealistically high standards for a first time/put too much stock in the idea of 'romance', or I simply wasn't interested in the girl.

>I mainly obsess about not getting enough sex and settling for a girl I'm not truly in love with.
This could be a sign that you feel like you're not living up to your own standards enough. Think about what it is in your life that's missing that would cause you to feel this way. Do you not feel attractive enough? Because there's ways to going about becoming more attractive.

How often do you meet new women?

>>17965469
>virgins tend to try harder to impress which can make them better lovers.

But all that awkwardness though.

>>17965494

Not always, my ex told me he was a virgin after we'd had sex because he was afraid of what I'd think. I never would've known if he hadn't said anything

>>17965494
It comes way more naturally than you think. Plus you shouldn't be doing the crazy shit the first time you fuck anyone anyway unless it's a one night stand. If you're REALLY nervous about it, just go cowgirl and let her do it, but I would want more control over it so I wouldn't bus' before I wanted to.

Also, don't worry about nutting too soon either, just laugh at yourself it's really nbd. You can always catch up in round two.

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Thx all of you. My main concern is the love part... I want a girlfriend/multiple girlfriends and I want to live a little with her/them. I can't imagine a solitary life where I've never had a romantic vacation, sex underneath the stars, and all of the dumb shit love has to offer. I am fine by myself but I'm still lonely as hell.

>>17965513
You are psyching yourself out, just relax

>>17965538
Am I? 30 is approaching and I'm on square one. It's ten to midnight for my first experiences.

>>17965529

This is the ONLY reason I'm worried for you. I'm afraid you'll try to commit too soon and get too heave too quickly and freak them out bc your looking for this stuff.

when you find someone, just let it happen at it's own pace.

>>17965538
You quote the right person?

>>17965568
He definitely didn't.

Yeah I guess that's my main problem. I want too much, obsess to hard... But as Aerosmith said, I don't wanna miss a thing.

I recently messed it up woth two of the most amazing girls I've ever had a shot with. Both of them are now taken. I wouldn't be surprised if they got married to their current bfs. It feels so shit to have to content myself with older, less attractive women because I was so oblivious in the past. I know that's misogynistc as hell, but it doesn nag me a whole lot.

>>17965576
You wont man, it WILL happen, it's just something that can't be forced. But you just have to be out there and available when it does. Ask a few girls out expecting to get rejected, get the first couple "no"'s out of the way.

I'm an avid shooter, when I plan on asking someone out, I grab $100 in ammo and plan to go to the range that day, if she says no, so fucking what? I'm going to have a great day regardless, if she says yes, then hot damn, I've got more ammo to put on the shelf.

It will happen, but the one thing I can tell you is you simply NEED to be out there. I'm introverted af so I really struggle with that. Why would I go the the club to pick up a girl that LIKES being at the club? I don't want that in a partner. Try online dating, but don't expect magic, either. Think of it as going out to the bar every weekend or so, you're not going to find someone to hit on every time, and you're not going to get hit on every time either, but you cant expect to catch a fish without even baiting the hook hombre.

>>17965604
You seem to be looking for much of the same thing as I do. I donmt really know what to do to put myself out there. I'll take volleyball courses this semester and maybe some dance lessons, but I never really liked dancing.
My main hobby, guitar, is solitary as long as I'm not yet good enough to be in a band.

>>17965585
The chick I dated last year was hands down, 2 fold hotter than any chick I've EVER dated. She was independent (to a TOTAL fault) as well which was something I've never experienced either and loved it. And for the first time, the things she was interested in that I wasn't I didn't feel like they were super lame and a total waste of time. For the first time I found her brain sexy too (as cliche as that is).

We broke up bc her sister passed away and she kind of broke down and said she couldn't feel guilty being a shitty gf AND try to deal with her shit at the same time (independent to a fault). We still talk which is probably just torturing me more than actually keeping the door open, but it's the only shot I have with her.

She also started a new job today being a student teacher at a close college, so now she's surrounded by dudes her same age.

>>17965610
Same exact problem homie. When/if the thing described in >>17965621 goes south, I'll try online dating again and ask out the qt3.14 at subway and home depot, but outside that, nothing I do gets me out there, but I know that's the only thing that will help fix my situation.

Push comes to shove, literally go "shopping". Hit up some stores that you don't normally go to and kill an afternoon, if someone working there is cute, strike up a conversation with them. It WAY easy to get them talking about how shit their job is, and it's an easy convo to be funny with. If they're a cashier ask them "how long after work they hear the beeping from the scanning machine when they leave" and go from there.

I just don't know how to live with the regrets... I hate seeing young people nowadays because it makes me angry at myself for not having lived like them.

>>17965739
Everyone has regrets about everything.

>I wish I hadn't met my ex wife
>I wish I hadn't got so grossly hung up on one of my ex gf's (unrelated to divorce)
>I wish I had pressed my most recent ex on talking about her sister and not just letting her internalize it until she lost it.
>I wish I hadn't done some of the king cringe shit I did to save my marriage with someone who blatantly didn't want to be with me
>I wish I had been single more in my adolescence so I might not be as afraid of being alone as I am

I could go on and on and on.

The ONE thing I got from my divorce that I almost wouldn't trade for anything is learning to do things for yourself and believing if they actually like YOU then they wont have a problem with what you're doing, if they don't like you, they'll throw a fit and leave, then who cares.

I had my head on just straight enough during my divorce to be conscience of what I was going to get out of everything I did. I took the stance of, "if this thing ends, it won't be because I didn't try, it'll be because she chose not to be apart of it". Sure I took it too far, I could have gotten the same amount of closure without doing half the shit I did, but it really helped with the regrets.

See a qt on the street? Go talk to her for no other reason than to ATTEMPT to avoid the regrets (you'll never avoid them all), so you don't go home and fixate on her and what COULD have happened. After a while you'll get better at it.

>>17965948
I guess what I'm saying is hind sight is 20/20 therefor regrets are utterly inevitable. Just go forward with that in mind and you can minimize them, but you'll also ave to learn to live with them.

>>17965951
Thx. It's really difficult right now though. This Saturday I have a girl coming over to watch a movie. She's really into me but I kinda regret having asked her out by now. Third date. Gonna spend it in my bed. Chances are high that it'll be the moment I do the deed. Any advice on how not to freak out etc.?

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>What if this long wait has damaged me forever? What if my development has taken a hit it can never recover from? What if I'll always have to fight off regrets about my youth? What if I don't get to have a normal love life now?

Doesn't have to be like that. I lost it at 27. I ballsed it up with the only woman I knew in real life who meant anything to me, so went for online dating to force myself to go meet people. Having nothing to lose I tried to dress better and just pretend to be confident even if I wasn't, and it worked. I had sex with a few women, and the first time or two were weird since I was used mainly to my own hand. But after stopping fapping everything worked fine and I have good sex with a sweet girl who I met after going through several crappy ones.

Overall I'd say that in summary, the way to make it work is to keep trying, but relax. I did this at 27 and you're not even that old yet. My development is fine because I worked for it, and you can too. I don't regret the past because I succeeded eventually, even if late. It's hard to feel too bad about being a 26 year old turbovirgin when I've got my dick in a cutie's tight puss, nugget.

>>17965972
idk if you're talking to the wrong guy or the right one on that.

That chick I dated last year was so hot (11/10 no joke) that I started strong just bc it had been a while, but after a month or so, I started having performance problems (not lasting long enough, bitch came a minimum of 3 times a session, it was kind of ridiculous, my problem was 'not a hard one' if you get me). It happened once due to stress (which can happen) on something bs, work or otherwise, and that was enough to shake the hell out of me, for the next 6 months I had issues with it. I couldn't get out of my own head, "if it happened once it could happen again'. It was a 50/50 shot if things would get going simply bc I was over thinking it. I knew I was over thinking it but that still didn't help.

Long story short, I went to a Dr he said after a long term relationship it's pretty normal and he gave me some sample pills. In MY case it didn't really help bc now I was freaking out that once they were gone, I'd go back to having my problems.

If you're REALLY freaked about it, I could see it working for a first time, just so you find out how great it is and that it's really no big deal.

Outside of that (which is what I would really suggest) I would just suggest not jerking it till then, or just edging a couple times if anything (nothing that day), no porn though, that shit desensitizes you, no joke.

cont.

cont.

Really, just try to get caught up in the moment, go slow, and fucking enjoy yourself. It's your first time, most girls only nut with someone who has done it with THEM long enough to know what works, that's not to say they don't still REALLY enjoy it. You may or may not make her nut, which is nbd is my point, but that's not what you should be thinking about. Just enjoy the moment, think of what does it for you, especially if that's got anything to do with her.

Sex if fucking great, but honestly it's such a natural thing it's no big deal. Do it once or twice and you'll be just as good as 70+% of the population. Like how dogs know how to swim innately, it will come naturally.

>>17966049
>go slow and enjoy it

This is really it. Don't overthink it, either. Kiss and touch all over and just have fun with the naked girl in front of you, eventually it'll clearly be the time to stick it in and then in all likelihood everything is going to take care of itself. You are designed to be able to do this and enjoy this.

Also, I'm constantly having nightmares about this girl and during the day I can't stop thinking about her. Why?! We were never together and even the signals she gave me weren't clear, so who's to say if I had had a chance had I taken the first step?
I canmt stop feeling like she was wholly special. The combination of character, independence, smile(!!!), body, heart... plis she had low standards and was down to earth. Every day I beat myself up over it and I doubt I'll ever find someone like her again, no matter how many times I hear 'there's plenty of fish in the sea'.

>>17966289
Idk if I'm totally understanding this post. are you with this chick? Are you saying she's too good for you? I am confuse.

>>17966323
Got friendzoned after having an on and off obsession for her. I believe she wanted more at first but quickly put me in the friendzone. When I asked her out she said she was seeing someone else and that I was always just a friend to her. i don't really believe that last part and it's killing me to have missed out due to my anxiety.

>>17966392
You may have just missed out homes. Something that you're unfortunately just going to have to learn to deal with. That's why I say in an attempt to avoid those in the future, just ask chicks out if you're interested. The ones that are worth it will be nice about saying no, and the cunts are cunts about it, but all that did was save you time and investments.

You can't live a regret free life, you'll just eventually deal with it or you'll get to a better place in life and believe that the shit you waded through is what got you there.

If it's really bothering you, tell her you can be friendzoned and if she still says no, you might have to just sever all ties in an attempt to do yourself a solid. I did that to the one I've posted about. She understood that I simply can't turn my feelings off and she said she didn't really know how she felt about anyone bc of the intense grief, so I just asked her if she was comfortable staying friends knowing long term that if we can't be more than that I'm out, she said "yes" so I have to assume that's decent news. She may not be into me right now, but at least right now she's not against the idea of getting back together.

Just be overly forward to her about shit, let her know how you feel and that it's not a switch you can turn off. If she's worth it she'll understand.

Guys don't do the friendzone well, it's physically not good on us.

>>17966289
Are you me? This shit happened to me again last night. Couldn't do shit for the rest of the day.

25, identical situation and fears.
I don't know, man.
I just don't know.
I wish I could give you some answers, but I'm lost myself.
And it only gets worse.

>>17965399
23 year old here.

>friend agrees to be fuck buddy
>my dick wouldn't go up
>my inexperience turns her off completely
>still a virgin
>SSRI antidepressants will probably leave me with permanent erectile dysfunction

Life is pain and misery, my friend.

>>17965399
don't worry about it too hard, you'll be dead soon enough whether you had a gf or not

>>17965399
Posted this story here a few times, hope it helps.

>part 1 of 8
Lost my virginity at 24 (almost 25).

I was a shy, total social recluse growing up. Up until middle school, I would pretty much only have one friend at a time, and I was stick to them and only them. Middleschool I met a friend, and we became a part of a group (and we're still all friends). Through out middle school and high school, I pretty much exclusively hung out with them, and would avoid everyone else.

I was the kind of kid who, even as a teenager, still dreaded the days my family would go out to eat because it meant i'd have to speak to the server to order food.

The kind of kid who would hear someone knocking at the door and mentally huddle in to a corner trying not to make any noise, hoping they'd just go away.

When I turned 18, I got kind of sick of being that way, so I started trying to change.

I took it in little steps.
I changed my clothes.
I got an actual haircut.
I started standing straight.
I started looking people in the eyes as I spoke to them.
I started speaking up louder.
I started making myself smile.
I started making myself exaggerate every facial expression.
As I got more and more used to something, I would force myself to do more.
I would ask questions in class/work.
I would have conversations with the teachers
I would go out of my way to introduce myself to classmates/co-workers and try to make small talk.

By the time I was 20 I was forcing myself to believe I was good looking--even if I didn't really. and then I forced myself to go to parties and do the same thing try to do the same thing I was doing with classmates/coworkers with total strangers (Walk up to each and every person I didn't know and just say Hi, I'm <anon> and shake their hand while looking at their eyes).

By 21/22 I started forcing myself to go to restaurants after work, sit at the bar and start a conversation with whoever the fuck was around me (male/female/young/old/customer/bartender/etc)

>>17967387
>part 2 of 8

22. I was kind of in a state of limbo.. Earlier, about when I was 20, after a particularly bad bought of depression that seemingly came out of nowhere. Like it was one of the best points in my life. I was doing well in school, leading a study group, doing well at work, was getting super close to a girl... but then out of nowhere, I just mentally collapsed. I stopped going to school except for exams, I stopped going to my study group, I stopped going to work, I stopped answering phone calls from my friends, from my classmates, from her. And what made it all even more depressing was I knew there was absolutely no reason whatsoever for this to be happening.

So i'd made a suicide pact with myself, telling me that by 22, my depression (which I'd had on and off since I was about 12--apparently I was biochemically predisposed, but such a borderline case that my doctor figured I was better off without medication) it'd be put to a stop, one way or the other, because I was tired of that shit ruling me and ruining things.

And that day came and went, and I wasn't depressed, so I followed through with my promise and I never let myself be depressed again. (Now, the infrequent times Every time one of those thoughts pops up, I kick myself straight.)

But I was still in limbo. I wasn't depressed, but without that I felt numb. Like the world was no longer darker, but just completely grey.

>>17967390
>part 3 of 8

Then I met a girl who changed that. Speaking to her, hearing her story, seeing how she was persevering, genuinely inspired me. She had moved to the area (los angeles) from a small town to go to college to become a teacher. She had trouble adjusting to how much more superficial people were. A year ago she was drugged at a party and raped. Her boyfriend couldn't handle it, and dumped her. 6 months later, a 10 year old kid she was tutoring--her favorite student--was hit by a car and killed in front of her, in front of their house. So much bad shit was piled on in such a short time, but she was still forcing herself to smile her radiant smile, and to go on. She was clearly hurting, but she didn't let any of that stand of the way of her reaching her goals.

And realizing that I thought, if she can do it, I can too.

I remember that very night (or morning rather. We met at a party I was hosting for a friend's birthday, we ended up talking until the sun rose), I thought to myself that this was it, this was the day everything was going to change.
And it did. From that moment on, it was like the world was filled with color.

The next day, we said our good byes. A few weeks later I got in contact with her through Facebook, basically thanked her for telling me her story, and told her how much it inspired me, and wished her the best.

23. About 7 or 8 months later. At this point I was well on my way to fully hitting my stride. A friend invited me to her apartment warming party. I go because why not. And now guess who her roommate is.

>>17967396
>part 4 of 8

We almost instantly pick right back up where we left off that day over a half a year ago. We start hanging out on random days, we start meeting up for random lunches, parties, drinks, whatever. After about half a year, without me knowing it, I find myself looking forward to it more and more, I start feeling more excited than I can ever remember being, I feel like every day is a brand new day and brand new opportunity, and every moment I spend with her, only reinforces that feeling even more. I'm starting to fall head over heels for her, but I don't realize this, or don't want to admit this.

And that's because up until this point, some deep down part in the back of my mind believes I don't deserve love or a girlfriend. Because as much progress as I've made, I still feel like I'm fucked up kid and can't handle it. Of course, on the face of things I rationalize it as, "I have other priorities right now" and "i'm just waiting for the right person".

One night, after a party that's wound down, it's just me, her, and one of her male friends. Earlier she'd ask if I wanted to crash on the couch and I said yeah, but now noticing the mood, I feel like I should probably get out, so I said good bye and leave.

As I'm halfway to the gate, she runs out of the house to catch me.

She asks what's up, and why I'm being weird.
Nothing, don't worry about it.
She says no really
I tell her It's a bad idea to say anything.
She pushes again
I blurt out, "It's because I think I'm starting to fall in love with you"
I'm completely stunned, and so is she.
She asks, "wait... you... what?", while her vivid green eyes quickly flicking to the right and left then back to me in confusion, while a bemused smile starts creeping up on her face
In my shock, I mindlessly start repeating myself
She shuts me up midway with her lips.

My first kiss.

It's like lightning is charging down my spine and spreading to every single nerve, even deep in the tips of my fingers and toes.

>>17967401
>part 5 of 8

When we stop to breath, she's giggling in a way I've never heard before, and we're both smiling stupidly.
We have a brief conversation where at the end I tell her I still should go back, and she says ok, and starts skipping back to her door, and shouts back to call her later.
An hour after, the entire drive back, I'm still feeling that electricity coursing through my body.
That memory is seared in to my mind.

But now I self destruct.

The next morning I try to contact her, but her phone goes straight to voicemail, and i'm so surprised that I leave a rambling and cringe worthy voice mail that's so long it cuts out. And right now I'm freaking the fuck out. I ended up dropping another bomb on her that same night after our kiss. At one point she straight up asks me if I'm a virgin, and I tell her the truth that I am. What prompted it was that in my stunned state, the words, "my first kiss" stumbled out of my mouth. So now my mind is racing a mile a minute, kicking myself and wondering if she's having second thoughts, and if i'm fucking things up Or if something bad has happened to her. If she was super drunk that night and fell down and hurt herself, but can't get to her phone because she's passed out and her phone is dead. And blah blah blah.

So I do the "rationale" (crazy) thing and make the hour drive back to her place to knock on the door, but she's not responding, so I sit in my car for 3 or 4 hours while trying to contact her. Before realize I'm being a gigantic fucking creep and irrationally crazy person and head back home.

>>17965458
24 is nothing. I know it feels like "getting up" there when you're in it, but as a 35 year old, it's nothing. There are still plenty of single people your age. There are still plenty of inexperienced people your age. Do not worry about it.

>>17967408
>part 6 of 8

I resolve myself and decide, fuck it, at this point I may as well just go all in and regret nothing. I end up constructing a max character 5/5 text message telling her how i've felt about her, how meeting her changed my life, how being with her fills me with excitement, but that if she doesn't feel the same, You know, no pressure (lol), and hit send.

She calls me a couple days later, and she basically tells me to calm the f down, and how she likes me, but she's not right for me, and that I deserve to be with someone who feels the same way.


I'm crushed. But for the first time, I feel completely liberated.

Yeah I was being crazy, and I was likely directly responsible for this failure, but for the first time in my life, I've put myself out there to someone completely and totally and held absolutely nothing back. And it's like a gigantic weight has been lifted off my mind.

So with that we stay friends, and I try to move on (she ends up moving back home a couple months later to do grad school. She's now a school teacher in Alaska. I'm still truly grateful to have met her and have zero regrets).

I'm 24 now. It's been nearly half a year, and I'm starting to do online dating, because fuck it, why not. I've had an account for a year now, but I've never really done anything with it, but now I decide to just actively do it. A few months later I have a chat with someone, they ask if I'm doing anything, I say nah, we go out for drinks.

She's a kind of chubby, single mother, and while she's kind of cute, I'm not really in to her. At this point this is all on a whim, so I'm not really nervous or anything, a byproduct of me making that decision to go all out that day was that I now have absolutely no fucks given when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex, or in general. I've built up a kind of calm, cool headed demeanor that comes from the absolute confidence of knowing I've built myself up, brick by brick, the hard way, and I'm proud of that.

>>17967418
>part 7 of 9 (missed a part)

She however, is obviously nervous as fuck. She gets pretty tipsy. I've developed to be a pretty flirty and exceedingly polite guy, so I'm slowly getting her to calm down. At one point she excuses herself to go to the bathroom and tries to text her friend, "OMG he's so nice and so cute!" buuut instead she texts me... When she gets back, she's embarrassed as fuck, and I do the polite thing and pretend I deleted it without reading it.

End of night, we're in my car, and I'm going to drop her off. But we have a small conversation, and we start making out. Things keep escalating, and eventually she takes off my shirt and starts going for my pants, and I tell her to hold up. That honestly, I'm a virgin, and right now I'm kind of still hurting from something in the past, and not at all looking for anything serious at all. She very understanding, but she isn't turned off in the slightest. She says she completely get it and she's in a similar place of recovering and not looking for anything serious either, and if i'm fine with it all, so is she.
So we try to have car sex, but I can't really get anything more than half hard, because it's too fucking awkward.

On my way back home, I remember feeling empty as fuck and thinking, "This is it? This is what people murder, rape, and kill for? This? Why?" and this would be the birth of a mental block.

I meet her again and we have a proper date this time. I take her out to dinner, take her to a jazz club after, and we get a room for the night. While we're there we have the conversation again where I tell her I'm really not looking for anything serious, and she asks if I was really a virgin, and I confirm that yeah I am. And we have proper sex this time, and it's interesting and my curiosity makes me be pretty experimental and creative, but I don't end up cumming after about an hour, but I still make sure she's taken care of. And we part ways.

I still feel empty as fuck.

>>17967428
>part 8 of 9

Afterwards I tell her I don't want to lead her on, that I like her, but want to make sure she's not feeling anything more, so maybe it's not a good idea to keep seeing each other.

Fast forward one week later, she's blowing up my phone with drunk voicemails, half crying and telling me I should give her another chance.

Shits fucking ugly and hurts like a motherfucker. Part of me feels like scum, even though I've made every fucking effort to let her know what this was from the start.

I don't date for a couple months after that, but I get over it, and then go on as many dates as possible. Through dating dozens of different women--some not at all my "type", but I just figured why not meet someone new?--I start to learn about myself and who I am, learn that I'm moderate attractive, but I'm too big a flirt sometimes and it leads people on and learn how to tone it down. Learn that learn a lot about my own sense of values and what it is that I truly want, not just in relationships, but in life. And I learn a lot about how people are, what drives them, and what makes them all so unique and interesting.

My best friend ends up being my second partner (she's gay, but one night we were drunk and just said fuck it, and we continued as FWB's for a couple months until I met someone else I liked). and these time it's amusing, and not empty feeling, but I still don't cum.

My third partner ends up being a one night stand with a cool girl (one of my friend's, girlfriend's best friends, who she'd been trying to set me up with for about a year). This is the first time I've ever enjoyed sex. We spent the entire night laughing, smiling, and genuinely enjoying eachothers company. I still don't cum, but the morning after, for the first time I wake up with a smile on my face, and it doesn't slip the entire day. This is the first time I've finally understood and why sex can be so amazing. We part ways (because she lives half a thousand miles away) and that's that.

>>17967437
>part 9 of 9

I'm 26. I continue dating, and one day I meet a girl online, and we go to have coffee, and that turns in to dinner. That very first night I remember thinking, this is dangerous, I don't want to get ahead of myself. We end the first date with just a hug. Second date we end the same way. I'm deliberately going as slow as possible, because I can FEEL we have real potential. Our third date however, we go all out. It starts with dinner, end up on the pier, where we share our first kiss, then head back to hers where we hang out and chat, I ask if she wants to be my girlfriend, she says yes, and chat some more and start making out, and then have nonstop sex for 4 days.

A few months later, I end up cumming for the fisrt time.

I'm 28 now. We're still together, we're about to move in together in a couple months, and I'm genuinely happy. I have no problems with cumming anymore, and I'm truly satisfied on so many levels--not just physical, but emotional as well.

(As a side note for this threads OP. Do I ever feel like i'd like more partners? Maybe? But that urge is always fleeting and I'm way more genuinely content than anything else)

>TL;DR
Looking back, I've created a lot of drama for myself and experienced a lot of weird things in my life. A lot of it was rooted in my own self delusions, but I'm glad to have experienced them all because it helped me grow as a person.

I can genuinely say I'm proud of what I've done, and what I've done to help myself improve.

I am grateful that I FORCED myself to do things I never wanted to, that I made myself date even when I didn't' want to, that I made myself be social, that I made myself keep trying, because it's all paid off and made me a stronger person.

Don't hold yourself back because it feels scary, or painful, or you fail, just keep going at it and improving. Become a better person who you can say you are proud of being.

>could have lost it at 20
>pussied out

25 here. I've kind of just given up. I've pretty much isolated myself (besides work) for 5 years and have no clue how to be social anymore

32 m virgin los angeles

kik: zsasza

>>17967446
That's a nice story man.

>>17965399

Don't worry at all about the virgin part, just think of yourself as anyone else at your age who is currently single. Sleeping around is shit and not satisfying at all, so don't worry so much about that either. I think the only thing you may be lacking is relationship experience, so your first relationship might be a little rocky while you get used to the dynamics. Don't settle, you're only 24, you have a good 11 years before girls your current age might stop being interested in you, and even then theres girls that go for older handsome guys, perks of being a male.