Gold stolen by a midget

Threaten to steal his Lucky Charms.

>>17964354
I'm fucking dying

>>17964354
>>17964377
This isn't funny. I've spent thousands of dollars on this and have saved up for years.

I dunno Anon, I'm not an expert on this sort of thing, but I guess what I would do is find a lawyer.

>>17964346
My question to you is why would you do that and not keep it in your own place?

>>17964346
Indeed, most successful investors will tell you that the safest place for your investments of rare earth metals is somewhere in the woods. However, these greedy, plague-bearing midgets can actually smell the gold up to 100 feet down. Why else do you think that so many midgets live in California? Duh, they're the descendants of the gold rush midgets from previous generations. Anyway, it's a hard lesson that you've learned but the investors are correct: you need to hunt those midgets down as often as possible. They can reproduce three times a year with litters up to 10, and they learn to smell gold around age 8, so your best bet is to dig a hole 4 feet deep with a little gold at the bottom and empty it regularly.
Good luck anon

>>17964418
I didn't want it to be stolen by my girlfriend.

>>17964425
Why would you not invest in a safe? That and really if it would come up missing you would know who did it. I mean if it's just ur gf that would know

>>17964419
this is why you invest in lead safes ffs

>>17964493
Lol, idiot, lead is way too soft of a metal, they bite right through it.

>>17964346
Holy shit my Dungeon Master made a scenario exactly like this once.

>>17964507

Everyone knows Iron is the best way to repel the Fae.