How to be good enough for a woman that isn't shit

>>17959550
Adopt.

It's extremely hard for a single man to adopt children

there are other places than america, places with actual culture where people care about others in some way that isn't strictly machiavellian.

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>>17959550

>How to be good enough for a woman that isn't shit

>I pretty much hate women.

Pick one. You can't want a woman that isn't shit yet hate them. Good women can smell that shitty attitude from a mile away and they avoid it like a plague. No decent woman with a good head on her shoulders would stoop low enough to reproduce with some bitter asshole who treats his wife like a dog.

>I just don't want a life of getting shit all over and then divorced

Then don't be a shit person with a shit attitude. There is no guarantee for happiness and fulfillment in a relationship. Everything in life is a risk.

The only way you can absolutely guarantee that you will never find a decent woman with self respect and a brain is to continue to act and think exactly the way you're acting and thinking right now.

Keep living and perpetuating the shitty female stereotypes and bitterness that you have right now and I can promise you with an obscene amount of certainty that good, smart, dedicated women will all scratch and claw to get as far away from you as possible.

>>17959716
I should have expected a response like this. How do you go from "I want to avoid being treated badly" to "I want to treat someone else badly"

I'm willing to put tons of effort into a relationship - the point here is to find someonewho reciprocates that

>>17959550
No. My parents have been together for 35 years and they are extremely happy. I've been in a relationship for 10 and I'm happy as well.
The first, most important thing they always told me is "be together for the right reasons".
Don't marry because you're lonely, because you want a family, because it's the natural thing to do when you're 27. Marry because the prospective of spending the rest of your life without that person makes you want to kill yourself.
You don't want a woman, you want a breeder that obeys to you.
You'll get divorced for sure if you don't focus on the personal connection between you and your partner.

>>17959785

>I should have expected a response like this.

Oh good.

>How do you go from "I want to avoid being treated badly" to "I want to treat someone else badly"

Using "I don't want to be treated badly" as an excuse to perpetuate false, insulting generalizations and fuel your immature hate of an entire gender group is not morally nor logically correct. You characterize women as soul-sucking, immature garbage that contribute nothing to relationships yet you somehow don't see that as treating people badly?

That's delusional, friend.

Thats the same logic neo-nazis use to perpetuate their hate of minority groups. All they want is to "be safe and avoid being treated badly" so they use this twisted sense of self-defense as an excuse to be pieces of shit.

>I'm willing to put tons of effort into a relationship

No you're not. You just said you want a submissive, obedient, inexperienced girl. You don't want a partner in life, you want a dog.

You claim to want a loving marital relationship but you don't want a woman who will disagree with you or form any kind of identity or purpose that might contradict any of the values or ideas you have for your life.

The way you think and the things you want are in direct contradiction of each other, OP. Either you want to marry a human being with her own thoughts and hopes and dreams or you want to be married to a trained dog. You can't have both.

My original point still does stand; so long as you perpetuate in your head these silly stereotypes about women the longer you will watch any decent woman with a good head on her shoulders run away from you as quickly as their feet will carry them. Women can smell shitty attitudes like this a mile away.

>>17959824
>false, insulting generalizations and fuel your immature hate of an entire gender group is not morally nor logically correct

In 25 years of living I've met one white woman who wasn't divorced by her mid 40s. One.

"Her own thoughts and hopes and dreams" are good. Constant arguments and witholding sex and sleeping on the couch and having my kids stolen from me in middle age is not. Haven't you heard the saying "if momma's not happy nobody's happy"? Why would any man want a part in that? I'm a raging sexist for not wanting to be miserable apparently. Fine I want a dog - how do I find a dog?

>>17959923
... and it's clearly their fault, right?
If a marriage fails it is almost always a failure of both partners.

>I'm a raging sexist for not wanting to be miserable apparently.
You're an idiot for not having a basic understanding of how a relationship works.
Instead of saying "I want a woman who never questions me" say "I want a woman who knows how to argue well".

>>17959716
>>17959824
dumb divorced roastie detected, no one else would be this triggered about a successful man wanting a traditional wife

>>17959824
> All they want is to "be safe and avoid being treated badly"
Actually, most of them these days jus want to ensure that their people aren't demographically replaced in their ancestral homelands (aka genocided) via mass influx of hostile and violent foreingers, which is a perfectly valid and reasonable desire.

>>17959938
>... and it's clearly their fault, right?
Yes. If one culture has an epidemic of divorce and unhappy men urging other men to not get married
And a different culture has successful, tightly-bonded families
Then I'm going to blame the culture

>>17959946
Really though I'm not very successful in life in the moment that was the original point in the thread - I want to know what to change in order to get what I want

What traits can I cultivate in order to appeal to a girl like that

>>17959550
>I really want kids but at the same time I pretty much hate women
White women are in a sorry state when I say that your best bet on happiness via children is waiting for artificial womb technology. Marriage with a woman in the West carries to many risks, and Western women who are sane and monogamous are in tight supply.

>>17959715
where

>>17960028
I specifically said I'm more interested in foreign women

>>17960005
>Yes. If one culture has an epidemic of divorce and unhappy men urging other men to not get married
You're not blaming the culture. You're blaming the women.
>And a different culture has successful, tightly-bonded families
>Then I'm going to blame the culture
Also, what culture? In Italy divorce rate is about 25%, in Belgium it is about 71%. Both western, catholic countries. In Vietnam it is about 4%, in Japan it is about 36% - both asian countries. In Kuwait it is about 42%, in Syria is about 9% - both islamic countries.

>>17960041
Well, foreign women who've lived in America their whole lives are still Western. If you graduated high school, you should be able to teach in Africa or India. Do that, and use your pulse to get a wife you can bring back to the states.

>>17960051
>Well, foreign women who've lived in America their whole lives are still Western.
I mean if they came over in their teens/twenties, thick accent, close-knit traditional family, doesn't wear western clothes etc I think that's a good bet and essentially what I'm going for

>If you graduated high school, you should be able to teach in Africa or India
Really?!?
Do you know any more about this? How do I even go about looking for a job like that? I love Indian culture, clothes, food, women, everything about it.

>>17960064
Love marriages in India actually have a very high divorce rate. The only ones that last are arranged marriage, and they last because they are out of convenience and not out of affection.

>>17959550
>woman that isn't shit
>posts a pajeet
I am baffled.

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find a best friend, not someone you're just sexually attracted to and you'll want to spend the rest of your life with them.

your marriage will work out this way. people nowadays are marrying for sexual attraction and because they know they can throw the marriage away if it doesn't work.

if it's not broken, it can be fixed and not thrown away at once. learn these methods and you'll be okay. learn that some jealously is healthy, and usually keeps the relationship alive.

but you have to actively work and grow together in a relationship. if you let it stagnate and don't grow together, it's ultimately going to fail.

>>17960079
Quality post. /thread

>>17959550
if women are shit why does it matter how you treat them. have kids with them and divorce them and live your life happy.

>>17959550
You'll quickly realize that no racial / ethnic group in particular has the majority of great women. Great women are a rarity, like great men. You need to focus on finding a woman who has shown to be self-motivated on her own and has shown to be mature yet kind enough to support another. The reason for this is that if she has these traits, she is willing and able to support kids while you work and also work later when the kids get older. You also need her to be kind in order to deal with kids and to make sure the fights are a minimum.

If you're avoiding fights completely, you're avoiding great women because you can't always be right in the relationship. Submissive women won't help push your kids to achieve more and they won't stick up to brats when they act like shit. Great women will respect you and know which battles are worth fighting and which battles are just brow beating their husbands for not "pleasing her".

To find such a woman, you need to hang around successful people and around places that people are training or working towards a goal. These people and places are likely to attract women who also have their own goals and ambitions.

>>17959785
That transition comes from the attitude of "I need to make sure that I prioritize safety and emotional steadiness". When you walk into a relationship not looking to make the most of the relationship but guarding yourself from stress and pain, your judgement is affected by that mentality and the other partner will react to it.

You will see situations that aren't meant to be harmful but you will interpret them as dangerous or harmful. You might interpret innocent questions as testing or "annoying".

This adds up to a "death by a thousand cuts" scenario. You will feel like your wife was constantly somewhat troublesome and annoying and you will never go into a romantic or dating situation with a truly open mind.

>>17959938
Well, not entirely. To OP's credit, there are a lot of women who come to a relationship liking a guy for who he was in his 20's, then she starts to demand changes in the man during his 30s, and when life is difficult with kids and work in her 40s, she divorces as she sees him as "not the same man as he once was". There are also gold diggers. There just will always be gold diggers.

OP seems to be thinking that submissive and troubled marriages are mutually exclusive. What OP doesn't realize is that even if a women is submissive, she still has desires and goals, and will eventually get mad if OP doesn't even consider those due to him preferring a trouble-free marriage.

>>17960079
I'm only average myself I never had much expectation for women's looks, especially if she ends up staying at home she'll gain weight, whatever.

>but you have to actively work and grow together in a relationship. if you let it stagnate and don't grow together, it's ultimately going to fail.
What do you mean by "stagnate"
I don't understand the expectations here, if I'm going to work during the day and then spending time with the kids in the evening it's not like the wife and I will have much time to go on dates anymore isn't that the natural progress of marriage after all. Occasionally sure like a sitter every month maybe?

>>17960334
Of course I would be kind and patient with her people are acting like I'd beat her because I said I want a traditional relationship

No I can't always be right, adult discussions are one thing, screaming throwing dishes cheating kicking out of house etc are something else and basically what is standard these days

>Submissive women won't help push your kids to achieve more and they won't stick up to brats when they act like shit.
I had an aggressive mom with impossible expectations and it ruined my self esteem for years

I'm looking for nurturing personalities not pushy ones

>>17960354
>When you walk into a relationship not looking to make the most of the relationship but guarding yourself from stress and pain, your judgement is affected by that mentality and the other partner will react to it.

To me that is making the most of the relationship, as others have pointed out arranged marriages are usually happier.

>>17959716
>You can't want a woman that isn't shit yet hate them. Good women can smell that shitty attitude from a mile away and they avoid it like a plague. No decent woman with a good head on her shoulders would stoop low enough to reproduce with some bitter asshole who treats his wife like a dog.

I often wonder why the /adv/ board is full of underage kids who don't know shit.

There's an entire hemisphere of people with relationships like this. Stop believing your movies and television, Amerifat.

>>17959824
scorched cunt

>>17960449
Look if you think that not getting emotionally rest is "making the most of a relationship" then you need to find a women who shares that sentiment, else one partner will just be egging the other to open up which won't happen. I think people in this thread are trying to tell you that those women are rare.

>Of course I would be kind and patient with her people are acting like I'd beat her because I said I want a traditional relationship
Never implied that. In >>17960354 I even gave an example where you'll simply just find all her comments annoying or testing. Marriage isn't an "all or nothing" game: it isn't "happy marriage" or "cheating, divorce, etc". Stop treating us like we are telling you to be cucked.

_______

Look if you want someone who is into a traditional marriage, then you will be looking forever in any western civilized country. Don't get me wrong: there are girls like that in the US / UK / France. But the ratio of traditional women to women who want to be a princess is too high to waste your time. Search for a girl in a place that isn't overly poor yet expects women to be married and have kids. From there, you will find that women will not think of divorcing / abandoning you without repercussions. To ensure this, when you find the woman you like get to know her family deeply. Often times if you get the mom and dad to treat you like a son, abandoning you is impossible as long as you don't beat her / cheat on her.

>>17960498
>>17960449

In terms of finding a submissive woman, this is all dependent on the woman and the culture. Most parents can't 100% determine their child's personality, so there is no place that generally has all the submissive women. To find a submissive woman, go to places that don't overtly celebrate sexuality nor boldness. You won't find a submissive traditional woman in a night club, but you will find one in a church. Go to places that emphasize honor, order, piety, and civility. Places like these include: churches / other religious buildings, libraries, schools, conservative offices, etc.

To find a submissive woman, you need to look in pious places

>>17960498
I don't really know what you mean or maybe I even didn't understand your last post either
I don't want to "not get emotionally invested" (was that a typo?) and deflect her questions about myself
But in the last post you said "guarding from stress and pain" and yes the idea here is to stay together not to hate each other so maybe we're just misunderstanding each other

>Stop treating us like we are telling you to be cucked.
Divorce isn't the norm it's the literal rule where I live (midwest US)
My parents, all my friend's parents, all my coworkers parents/older coworkers themselves at every job I've ever had, literally of the hundreds of adults in my life there's one couple that didn't get divorced in their 40s
To me it seems to be all or nothing, I don't want to end up like EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER MET EVER

>Often times if you get the mom and dad to treat you like a son, abandoning you is impossible as long as you don't beat her / cheat on her.
This is the kind of useful stuff I made the thread for, thanks.

>>17960070
love marriages in india are still more stable than any marriages in the west

>>17960597
>literally of the hundreds of adults in my life there's one couple that didn't get divorced in their 40s
To me it seems to be all or nothing, I don't want to end up like EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER MET EVER

Is America really that bad?

>>17960627
Not really, they have similar divorce rate as marriage in most western countries.

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>>17960627

Just be the best you for yourself. Respect yourself.

I don't think the kind of woman who would have an arranged marriage would marry a white guy with no money