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Anonymous
How to disengage from attraction/feelings 2017-01-15 07:51:49 Post No. 17958199
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How to disengage from attraction/feelings 2017-01-15 07:51:49 Post No. 17958199
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Hi /adv/
I am hopelessly attracted to this girl at work. We interact a lot during the workday, and have hung out in groups with other coworkers, and I like her for a variety of qualities. However, she has never shown an initial attraction/interest in me. She is just friendly.
Still, whenever I'm at work I can't avoid her (though sometimes I try), and the feelings can get overwhelming. Feels bad, man, as we tend to say.
/Adv/, how do you let this sort of thing go? The red flags abound:
>We are coworkers for goodness sake
>We have mutual friends (who are coworkers, as it happens)
>I am starting a PhD program in 6 months, and I don't think gunning for a relationship is a good idea with that kind of academic commitment
>She's doing the same thing, and she hardly looks interested in dating anyhow
>ALL that aside, as I'd mentioned, she is not even interested in me (as far as I can tell, of course)
I have cronies who say, "Hey, don't let the 'what if' linger and ask her on a date!" But all signs point to "no!", or at the very least, it's a bad idea not worth entertaining. I want to disengage, but whatever faculties of common sense I have tend not to side with me on this particular subject.
Your input is greatly appreciated. Thanks all.
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Same issue. Just bottle it up, and see if you can meet new people. There's nothing much you can do except hope for a rom com situation or actually go for it.
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>>17958239
Sucks, doesn't it anon?
How disproportionate preferences and feelings are, how we might project our own attractions onto our like interests....versus what's actually going on haha.
Thanks for your remark. I'll see what I can do about meeting other people.
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>>17958252
Its sucks so bad, that I think that I'll never be happy.
I hate it so much
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>>17958255
You and me both, Anon. Behold the great farcical "Fuck you" of life. I'm resolving to ensure my happiness isn't incumbent on whether or not this girl likes me (not easy sometimes). I'm a goner if it should ever come to that.
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>>17958255
Fortify your castle before unleashing the trebuchet, lad
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>>17958199
Me too, anon.
I think it's best to put feelings for coworkers on the back burner (don't shit where you eat, etc) and try to involve yourself with someone else. If you can get interested in something purely physical to take your mind off of things that's a pretty good starting point.
My manager at work is my ideal partner and I have the biggest crush on him but I can't bring myself to ask him out because he could fire me (even though I'm a great employee and he fought to hire me at his store). It's super fucking annoying.
But good luck, anon!! And good luck in your phd program.
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>>17958297
I greatly appreciate that fellow anon. Super fucking annoying indeed. Thank you too for your well wishing on my crazy academic endeavors.
I wish you lots of luck too, and I find it consoling that there are a handful of us with similar conundrums here. Feels less lonely.
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>>17958199
Look if you need real advise on how to hit on her I can help you out bro.. I a beast when it comes to hitting on girls and getting real results.. Trust me.. Just give me any type of way to get ahold of you so we could chat in private.
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