My unsatisfied sex drive is putting strain on our relationship

>>17958022
dude just fuck her
marital rape is a myth
stop letting her cuck you

>>17958026
Yeah, that would go over well. Great idea.

>>17958031
it is a great idea
act like a damn man instead of a little boy considering literally shrivelling his balls into nothing because his wife is cheating on him

jesus christ

>>17958033
If i had any evidence she was cheating then i would be gone out of her life for good

>>17958043
lmao cuck

Any REAL advice would be much appreciated.

>>17958033

>act like a man
>rape her

I know this is 4chan, but this is fucking cringe.

>>17958052
Agreed. Someone needs to go back to /b/

You need to tell her you still have a sex drive. Talk about you seeing a side chick or sumthing if anything get a divorce if all else fails. Not really much you can do if she has made her mind up

You being willing to literally chemically castrate yourself while she's not even willing to manually get you off once in three years of marriage is just downright wrong. Plain and simple. Fucking wrong.

There is another way to look at this. Is she has another man and you are just there for a safety blanket. But you need to clean the air.

>>17958059
I've told here everything. A side-chick would likely cause more problems. I really don't want to resort to ending our relationship.

File: Cw4a_S0VIAELq1p.jpg (166KB, 1200x900px) Image search: [Google]

166KB, 1200x900px

>>17958022
She wants you to take charge and show her who wears the pants in the family. Either that or she's fucking the neighbor. My bet is on the latter.

This woman doesn't love you.

>She has no intentions of putting any effort into revitalizing her sex drive nor helping me curb my own.

Either accept that this person doesn't give a fuck about you and deal with it, or leave her. This is not going to change, this is not going to get better, and is entirely about your self-worth. Never give another such power over you life and never commit yourself so much to someone that would be so unreasonable.

>I love my wife and i don't want to leave her so that option is out of the question.

Just because you love her and don't want to leave her, doesn't mean it's not an option. If anything, those two things are often ideal reasons to break up with someone.

(Before anyone goes nuts about how 'fucking stupid' this is, the LAST thing someone in a happy relationship would say is that they "love their partner and don't want to leave them" because it would NOT BE ON THEIR FUCKING MIND.

>>17958067
I'll try and talk to her about the reasons behind it all, but I'll push for a more concrete answer than "i don't have a sex drive anymore"

If I can't get a good enough reason behind her sudden loss of sex drive then i will consider the possibility of her having an affair

It is sad that you are forced to live as a celibate while still having to fulfill all the other expectations of marriage. Stay away from porn and try to live as a monk. You can sublimate your sex drive through intensive yogic breathing exercises. Google pranayama, kriya yoga, etc.

>>17958077
People keep telling me "leave her" when i ask for advice elsewhere so i figured i'd put it in my post.

>>17958084
Finally some actual advice. I'll give it a shot and see how i do.

>>17958071
Look man you can believe this story or not. But long story shot my aunt lost her sex drive do to sum medical issue. Her husband (my uncle) lasted a year with out sex. So he started to get a wondering eye and ended up cheating on her. She try's to blame him all the time for it.

But I guess what I'm saying is when you enter a marriage you agreed to take care of one another for the good and the bad. And to me it sounds like you're wife dose not want to keep that agreement. I really think you need to write everything down and bring it to her attention and see where it goes

I've been through this once.

OP, you might want to checkout out r/DeadBedrooms, there's plenty of people there in the same situation, and a lot of good advice

>I'll try and talk to her about the reasons behind it all, but I'll push for a more concrete answer than "i don't have a sex drive anymore"
Pushing won't help. Many people just lose their drive, and that's life. It definitely doesn't mean she's having an affair.

>>17958104
Did you end up sorting it out or did it cause the relationship to crumble?

Your wife is taking you for a ride :-)

>>17958022
>I love my wife and i don't want to leave her so that option is out of the question.

Don't you see you have Stockholm syndrome?

>>17958111
No, we both tried our best for several years, but ended breaking up. It's the most common scenario, unfortunately, but I'm happier now. I used to be irritable and angry all the time, and I couldn't believe how much of a difference it made when we broke up

If you're OP, it sounds like your wife is not even trying. Repressing your needs won't solve her not caring

>>17958022
>I love my wife and i don't want to leave her so that option is out of the question.

you don't have many solutions though. you don't have to feel guilty about wanting sex in your relationship. three years of no is a perfectly good reason to end a relationship. your needs are being met, and she's making no effort to help you. it's time to face reality

also what happens if you castrate yourself and her sex drive suddenly returns, or you divorce for some other reason?

>>17958134
Chemical castration is reversable by simply lowering treatment dosages until tretment stops. If it were permanent then it wouldn't be an option. I mentioned it to her just today so perhaps the extreme sounding wording might actually help things click in her mind that there's a real problem. (I have to be careful when discussing sensitive topics sometimes so perhaps I haven't been able to really let her realize how much it has been bothering me.)

Singe you love her focus on this feeling.
Since you know love is not sex it's good for you to know what sex means to you :
Maybe It means you miss her
Maybe you want just to cum
Maybe you nées to telle her feelings so strong that only express with sex :
Maybe thèse feelings are taking you to do things that you don't want, but that you love her... Maybe you're always feeling in love as at the first time. Maybe this you would Never leave her even you won't leave sex.

If you want to stop sex try to express feelings in an other way. But dont hurt yourself. Maybe you van carry on sex but you will feel lonely because It comes from tour not from her

Good happy luck with your girl !

Please chemically castrate yourself and remove those cuck pussy slave genes out of the gene pool, please!

It's not like you're still a man anyway

>>17958144
>perhaps the extreme sounding wording might actually help things click in her mind that there's a real problem
Don't count on it. Even if she does, you're solving her problem for her

>perhaps I haven't been able to really let her realize how much it has been bothering me
Honestly, it sounds you're not even comfortable accepting how much it's been bothering you YOURSELF. You should work on accepting that before trying to come up with schemes to make her pay attention. It's sad and unmanly.

Most people need sex. Most relationships need sex to work. There's nothing wrong with that. Repressing your needs will only make you more frustrated and miserable, and will make you and others lose respect for yourself

>>17958022
Fucking divorce her. Relationships are largely about sex.

>>17958144
What is fearing is that castrats yourself doesn't feel creepy to you. Do you love her that much?

>>17958133
>Repressing your needs won't solve her not caring
/thread

People keep shoving the whole "be a man" thing, but that whole thing is just personal opinions with no actual advice attached. If choosing to take medication to remove a distraction from my life makes me less of a man then who the fuck cares?

>>17958164
Jesus fucking christ dude. Have some fucking self respect.

What the fuck are you with this woman for? It sounds like you think you're absolutely worthless or something.

I can't imagine being such a fucking pussy. How do you fucking live with yourself?

>>17958164
He asked for advice
"Be a man" is advice
"Loving" someone like that is not love, is sickness

>>17958163
Perhaps I should ask her if she even cares or if she feels like it is a "me problem". If it is a "me problem" then i'll take it as permission to find a solution that doesn't involve her. Perhaps it is lack of sleep, perhaps it is a feeling of hopelessness due to reading about countless failures. The doubt is beginning to creep into my mind....

I'm utterly flummoxed by your post OP. Your wife REFUSES to have sex and YOU'VE been to a therapist to figure out how to fix YOURSELF?

The fact that you're even considering chemical castration, like some sort of pedophile, should be a huge red flag that you're in an abusive relationship.

You have 2 sane options
1. Talk to her about seeing a sex therapist. You shouldn't have to be expected to go the rest of your life without sex because she's had a hormonal shift. If she isn't willing to do that:

2. Fuck someone else. Make it clear that you want this marriage to work, but if she isn't willing to put at least the same effort into getting over her dysfunction that you've put into trying to get past it (considering chemical castration, for fucks sake) then you'll find sexual release elsewhere. She can either be okay with that or divorce you.

You know what, I think the problem has become clear. Its not about the sex. Its about her not working with me to figure out the problems behind our DB. That's why I sometimes feel resentment. I'll tackle it from that angle tomorrow after I get some rest and see if we can get anywhere.

If she doesn't want to put any effort into figuring out a solution then perhaps it is ultimatum time.

I'm a girl in a 3 year relationship and I just recently rejuvenated our sex life by asking him what he wanted. Seems pretty simple but he never thought to ask me to act in a certain way. Sex is symbiotic, I think she might need to force herself to get more into it, I'm assuming she just lays there like a dead fish.

>>17958218
It started off with equal participation, but over time she turned into a starfish. Said doing the work turned her off. That's when the problem started.

Leads me more to believe that her wanting to put zero effort into our intimacy is the core problem and the "loss of sex drive" is either a defense mechanism or just a cover-story for whatever the real reson is.

I've told her what I want, but since it all involves her actually putting effort in she's been uncooperative. I'm reaching my final straw and it fucking sucks. I hate that i'm considering ending the relationship. I wish it was over something other than our sex life. I wish it was because of finances or long distance or because one of us lost a limb or two and the other didn't want to take on that kind of burden.

It feels so pitiful and shitty that me being sexually dissatisfied would be the only thing that would register in her brain as being the reason for a breakup.

Thank you OP. I was feeling lonely not having anyone but reading this thread has given me a new appreciation for being single.

>>17958022
shes fucking someone else, m8
sorry about your luck

Ahahahahahaha faggot wifed a bitch that ain't putting out.

File: Porn-is-so-fake-I-mean-sex-with-ANOTHER-PERSON-Come-on-get-real.jpg (30KB, 700x393px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 700x393px

>>17958229

>>17958237
She used to put out 5+ times a day. Probably figures "eh, he's mine now. Don't need to put any effort in anymore"

>>17958228
Is she on birth control? If she is maybe she should consider getting off of it. Birth control can really mess with a girl's head, when I was on it I was never in the mood. I'm sure you've explained all the things you've said in this thread to her except the part where you're considering leaving her. I think you should be upfront and just tell her that if she doesn't cooperate sexually then you might have to leave her.

>>17958228

>It feels so pitiful and shitty that me being sexually dissatisfied would be the only thing that would register in her brain as being the reason for a breakup.
What about the fact that she isn't making a effort into fixing your relationship?
What about the fact that your are irritable and RESENT the person you're with?
What about the fact that this is only going to get worse over time?

It's almost never about the sex itself. It's about not being desired. It's about being NEGLECTED by the person you've sworn to stand by for.

Cuck thread

>>17958278
No birth control of any kind

>>17958022
If she actually loved you she would at least be giving you head.

This happened to me with my boyfriend. I just lost all sexual interest in him due to our lack of sex. He wants to have sex once or twice monthly max whereas I need more. Now I'm in this awkward place of not wanting sex with him at all.
I have no advice op but know that I feel your pain.

>>17958242
More like fatmeme that married a sucker now she can get fat. Enjoy the useless leech lol.

>>17958051
fuck someone else

>>17958080
good boy

The fact that you would be willing to chemically castrate yourself for a woman who won't even open her legs for you is the first problem. Have enough respect and love for yourself to demand that she respects that you want to have sex. If she doesn't want to comply you two need to separate.

>>17958022
>married 4 years, 3 years abstinence

dude you must have done a shit job in the sheets during that first year for her to lose her sex drive like that. sit her down when you get the chance, and get to the bottom of this.

friendship + sex = relationship. take sex out of that equation and you may as well be just friends.