How do I stop pining for my ex? He hurt me deeply and shut me

I love you

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>>17957948
What kind of hobbies do you have? Where do you live? How old are you?

I've been there. He never really apologized. It was only when a friend told me he sounded emotionally abusive that I started to be able to move on. You have to understand that you're not really pining for your ex, but for who you wish he was. I can't give much help on moving on since it took me a while too. But try to accept that what you want will never happen.

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>>17957948

You're addicted to chaos. You desire validation so badly that you're consciously willing to put yourself in a bad relationship with a bad guy just to get it.

Seek a therapist and find out why.

Tell us your story

Would.you want him to call or text right away?

>>17957958
I'm 23. I live in South Carolina. When I'm not working or in school (the latter of which I'm taking a bit in right now, largely because of the whole preoccupation with my ex) I'm big on music and learning foreign languages. I'm told running would be good for me but I don't know how to set goals for myself and I can't afford a trainer.

I was in a similar state of mind as you, a few months ago, although I am male.

I saw a therapist and talked through the relationship and its break up. The therapist (female) was able to give me some insight into my ex's mindset. These insights provided some well-needed closure.

Another thought helps me. I want to eventually find my person. If I am still pining over a past relationship, then I do not deserve to find that person. So, focus on the future.

Date other guys.

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>>17957970
If you need a mentor I am here for you. You could live in my motorhome with me. How much do you weigh? I could teach you how to make domes (pic very much related). It's a good hobby.

>>17957970

Hm you sound exactly like my ex but she lives in Connecticut.

>>17957963
I had a therapist who I thought had helped me with a lot of my issues but i realized, after my ex left me and all those same insecurities I thought I'd successfully put behind me came right back to the forefront of my mind, that I'd been deluding myself into thinking I was ever "fixed".

>>17957965
I don't know. I've been telling myself an apology is all I need to move on, so that I can tell myself that I didn't misjudge him completely, but it's finally dawned on me that every last one of my imaginary conversations with him in which he apologizes ends with one of us saying "...and maybe we can be friends again." I.e. as a stepping stone of sorts to get myself back into his favor

>>17957990
>>17957978
pls respond

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAsH_LXT9P0

List things you liked about him. And you can understand there are other people out there who can give you that without the set of problems you guys had

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>>17957990
YOU'RE NOT TOO GOOD FOR ME FUCKING CUNT

>>17957978
I'm good.
>>17957976
I want to. But I think I'm too hung up to even be able to forge any other connections of that nature right now.
>>17957981
Did you do something to your ex to make you think she'd be posting about you here right now?

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>>17958018
Do you like cats?

>>17957948

OP, I'm in a similar situation. My gf crushed me a weak ago and I am having a hard time getting over it. School has restarted, but I find myself not being able to concentrate; I haven't been to the gym in a while; I have a constant feeling of loneliness?

I keep asking myself one question: why? Why did I love this woman when she often treated me like dirt? Why did I put up with her crap for so long while giving her my sincerest love and concern through her hardest times? Why did I pine for her when she did me wrong?

It all comes down to an insecurity inside you. Perhaps you are lonely and latched onto this person. Perhaps you've been catastrophising and often say to yourself, "I'll never find someone else like him!" While normal, these thoughts are nonsense and harmful thinking patterns. Identify them and really work out how these thoughts are wrong. Write them down in a journal. Say it aloud in front of a mirror. Go to the woods and shout it at the top of your lungs.

Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat well, exercise, and do NOT isolate yourself. Delete all pictures and videos you have of him, texts, remove him from Facebook, etc. Slowly, day by day, the pain will subside. Your brain will rewire itself, and, hopefully, you'll begin to understand your self-worth. You'll eventually look back at this situation and cringe at the thought of ever liking someone like him.

>>17958034

>weak

Fucking hell, week*.

>>17958036
No, your post was pretty weak.

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>>17958018
DO...YOU..LIKE...CATS?

>>17958038

Then keep pining over him while he fucks other women and life passes by you.

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>>17957948
>I can't figure out how to move on or let go.

Get a new guy you stupid roastie, You whores are good at replacing someone you love with some random person.

>>17958049
Fuck outta my thread sweetie. bye!

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>>17958058

>fuck outta my thread
>sweetie

You have no idea where you are do you? Now I can see why this dude wants nothing to do with you.

>>17958034
>It all comes down to an insecurity inside you. Perhaps you are lonely and latched onto this person. Perhaps you've been catastrophising and often say to yourself, "I'll never find someone else like him!" While normal, these thoughts are nonsense and harmful thinking patterns.
This is probably what I needed to hear. He was so great in every way when we were together and honestly I felt so happy around him because I'd never met anyone like him before. He checked off every box imaginable--smart, handsome, funny, outgoing, accomplished, ambitious--and he was actually into me(!!) even though I fit MAYBE two of those, which made it doubly hard when he cut me out of his life altogether with really no warning at all.

But I will meet someone like him again eventually, I'm sure. Just not exactly like him.
>>17958032
Sure.

>>17958058
Stop pretending to be me

Why is my thread being hijacked by belligerents

>>17958079

>But I will meet someone like him again eventually, I'm sure. Just not exactly like him.

This is the right way to go about it. Every time I break up with someone, I end up telling myself there's no way someone could be better, but my subsequent gf always is.

Just keep your head up and roll through this tough time. You don't need to put this dude on a pedestal (another harmful thinking pattern) because I can guarantee you there are a million just like him.

>>17958083
Yeah, you can stop right now.

>>17958072
Oh, am I in your super secret clubhouse? Cute.

>>17958109
You really are a crazy cunt. Delete your thread, bitch.

ok this thread looks like it's going down the shitter. oh well. I've gotten enough decent responses to consider for a while. Thanks for the help, everyone who wasn't actively trying to derail my thread by trying to call me a cunt or a whore (I'm a dude btw lel) or by pretending to be me. I won't be replying to this thread anymore so if anyone else claims to be the OP they're another faker. I'll be reading though!

>>17958089
>You don't need to put this dude on a pedestal (another harmful thinking pattern) because I can guarantee you there are a million just like him.
Blah. This is the tough part. Most guys like him aren't into me. I think part of my problem is honestly just where I live. I need to move at some point. Hopefully I'm not still filled with trust issues over the way I was so completely blindsided by this guy.

>>17958120
faggot

>>17958120
You'll be alright