Self-Harm

>>17957396
I just keep my hands busy or punish myself in more productive ways like exercise.

Makes sense. I'm not allowed yet to exercise that much until I put on more weight. I've an eating disorder I'm kicking.

hold ice cubes until your hand until you can't stand it anymore or put a rubber band on your wrist and slap yourself with it until it hurts a lot

>>17957396

>not cutting?

Just not cutting.

Some discipline helps in not doing things you shouldn't be doing.

>>17957532
Ice cubes? Interesting. I'll give it a try, thank you.
>>17957536
It's not an issue with discipline. It's more than that. If you've ever cut yourself or harmed yourself in any way you'd get that.

Most self-harm is weak and pathetic. Do it the Samurai way or not at all.

For me cuttibg mself would mean I have ennemis inside to something. It would mean then you would try to love you better. When you're trying (to cutting) try to focus not to cut. Please don't lose your life :(((
A way of mine is to better understand myself and make me feel better with myself...

>>17958160
The point is I'm trying not to do it anymore.
>>17958170
Thanks that's very nice of you.

Always try to get in contact with friends or family when you get the urge to do it. Focus on how the people that love you don't want you to be hurt.

>>17958689
Thank you. I'm in uni and far away from family. I'll be on my way to class sometimes and the pain will hit me out of nowhere and I panic not knowing what to do other than quickly slipping in the bathroom reallyquick for a quick pinch, since I'm trying to stop cutting. But pinching is starting to not help me snap out of it anymore.

>>17958826
Bump

>>17957396

Show us the hair, you gotta have the hair if you're gonna be cutting

Jk op, don't cut yourself, try to replace that habit with a better one. Instead of carrying a razor, carry a marker and draw on yourself

Can't believe you haven't heard of the drawing on your arms with a pointy pen instead
That way it still hurts but there's no risk of infection and you leave something beautiful <3

>>17959129
>>17959135
Thanks I really like that idea. I've never shared my cutting with anyone irl and when I was in the ward we had everything taken away from us. We had a guard posted at all times. I was afraid if I brought it up with the others there I wouldn't have been able to leave when I did.

You cut yourself because you want to feel alive. So find a way to feel alive. Go do social things or find a hobby or do it the easy way like me and do drugs.

>>17959826
Just out of curiosity, what kind of drugs do you recommend?

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Slap or punch yourself in the face. Work out til you feel the burn. Find a chick who's into BDSM and have her whip, slap, choke, or poke you. Just don't leave any scars, because the older you get the more you'll regret them and see them as juvenile/immature

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>>17957396
you need to learn coping skills. I'm learning myself, learning to distract myself or put that anxiety/anger or unease towards something else by distracting myself.

we're not able to handle our anxiety which is why we have to 'let it out' with self harm and feel better for a while afterwards, since we see 'results' and feel that rush.

replace it with productivity, structure your life, make lists, and do even the most menial things to feel accomplished. go on a walk, listen to music, FORCE yourself to read a book, to study, sit in a corner and count until you've calmed down, etc.

anything until you've replaced the habit with a new one. you can do it anon.

>>17959826
don't do drugs, I spent 9 years doing drugs and am just now getting clean. spent the last 9 years fighting to get control of my life.

if you choose any drug choose weed, nothing more. I was on opiates and my life has been literal hell, any time you go into withdrawal once you're addicted you're going to go into suicidal mode. never take drugs if you have emotional issues anon. please.

please don't do it...

>>17959998

Thanks anon. That means a lot to me. I've been forcing myself to hang out more with my house mates and talk with them and I've also been sketching a lot when I start to feel off. I just don't know what to do while I'm school. I feel like if I started doing a breathing exercise in the middle of class or something everyone will think I'm a freak or something.
>>17959992
Thank you for the advice.

>>17960007
if it makes you feel any better I'm 24 and have had panic attacks in college class, and the next day my class mates didn't treat me any differently. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you act like nothing happened, others will too. you're stronger than you think

notify your teacher before hand; you don't have to tell them you're suicidal or depressed, but ask to talk to them and explain that you might need to leave class and want their permission to leave just in case. it'll alleviate a lot of stress, trust me.

I did this to go to the bathroom when I need to. if you need to, get the fuck out of the class room and breathe, utilize your coping skills and do what you need to to feel better (take your sketch book to the bathroom) and forget what the people in your class think, because it's not going to matter, it's ultimately your grade and wellbeing that matters, not theirs.

and lmao, that was also my advice, I really hope you're able to stay away from drugs and I'm glad you've been able to already start replacing things. that's honestly the first step.

putting yourself around people when you feel off is probably one of the best things you can do, to be honest anon, even if you don't tell them why. it's hard to want to kill yourself/or harm yourself around people, it's comforting to know they'd stop you, no matter how close or not you are to them.

>>17960053
You're right man. It doesn't matter what they think. Thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot to me. Ever since I left my support group to come back here to college it's been overwhelming and difficult. I miss my group meetings at the ward strangely enough.

>>17957396
I used to do the elastic band thing >>17957532
mentioned. That worked quite well. I've also heard that eating chillis helps, or anything that gives a strong sensation without actually damaging yourself

>>17957396

whenever you feel like cutting, grab a marker and draw on yourself instead.

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>>17960133

>>17960133
>>17960135

is this an explanation on tattooed people?

>>17960141

no. tattoos carry a lot of different meanings for different people. for a lot of them its a rush, for others they think it will make them look cool, and others try to find something meaningful and personal. some people are just idiots.

>>17960141
no. some people get tattoos to honour deceased loved ones. people get tats for all kind of reasons.

>>17960146
trying desperately to look cool and trying to find meaning on body scribbles are both forms of coping with anxiety. self cutting is a way of coping with that emotion too.

>>17960089
>>17960089
you're going to be okay, I'm sure someone on the internet telling you this isn't the best motivation (I used to hate people telling me this, to be honest, that I'm going to be 'okay' lmao) but if someone like me can do it, you've got this in the bag. When you feel like cutting, just remember in your head that people believe in you, as lame as it sounds.

I made a promise to myself one night that I would never kill myself no matter how hard things got and every time I would go to self harm, that promise would go through my head and I would feel too guilty to carry through with it. Make a mantra for yourself and stick with it.

you're stronger than you think, anon.

good luck with everything. if you can't get into a support group irl, online support groups are just a click away.

also I know what you mean. when I was sent to a 'behavioral health clinic' I came to love the support and structure. you can have that, it'll take a while but like I said, as lame as it sounds, work on making a daily schedule, no matter how little the activities are (even if it's just doing dishes, taking a walk, doing homework, etc.).

>>17960155

if you insist, sure, but this is a correlation between two unrelated things you're making on your own. to say that people who get tattoos just want to cut themselves is pretty silly.

>desperately

you could say that about anything. i bought a jacket cuz it looked cool. does that mean im trying desperately to look cool? no. its just ap ersonal decision about how i want to look. tattoos are similar, granted more permanent.

>>17960157
Thank you for your thoughts anon. Even if they're not irl, they mean a lot to me.
I guess I really did come to enjoy the structure the ward gave me. What sites would you recommend? I'm looking in to what's available locally irl but don't know if I'll be able to balance that out with my school schedule. Thank you again for the encouragement. It's not lame at all. It helps a lot actually. It's difficult to talk about it with my housemates since none of them have been in a psych hospital and don't understand why I enjoyed being there so much and the people I came to really care for. They're like my family, you know?

>>17960155
Making a generalization about people who get tattoos like this is just stupid.

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>>17960197
I used a lot more addiction websites, since self harm seems to commorbid with the abuse (same with mental illness, I'm borderline going into bipolar), so I'm not sure if those would help or not.
do you have a diagnosis along side the self harm?

all I can really recommend is finding the more active forums with older posters and ones with post counts per poster (with ratings per post, etc), they'll help since that means they've been there a while and have experience.

also if you need help finding cheap counseling, NAMI I think it's called can help you found cheap af group or therapy around you or other options that are usually super lenient with times/structures with price ranges usually 30-50 a session for psych/therapy (I understand being a poor college student) if you ever need that.

and you came to care for them because they understood you and you shared experiences, that's normal. but at some point , if they don't come to change, you have to learn to let go otherwise they'll hold you back. like my previous picture, if you don't learn to change yourself and your surroundings, things will always stay the same and you'll never progress. it's comforting, but sometimes comforting isn't good for you and keeps you from changing. that was the hardest thing for me to learn; I wanted to keep around the drug addicts I came to love who understood me, the people who suffered anxiety and bipolar, but they kept relapsing. I was the only one out of them that has wanted to change (fingers crossed, it's a life long process).

anyways, if you ever need to talk outside of 4chan or find yourself in a crisis situation my throwaway is below, I'll try to check it every once in a while, but if I don't respond make a thread on here and I can give you support.

[email protected]

>>17960256
Yeah, I was diagnosed a little over a month ago with recurrent major depressive disorder, severe anxiety, and an eating disorder.
And you're right. That's the reason why I chose to leave program early and come back to uni. I was concerned with getting too comfortable in that place.
I appreciate the advice and contact info. Thanks again, really.

>>17960291
I suffered from an eating disorder too. still have issues with it to this day, it's constant upkeep and physically draining. body dysmorphic disorder is usually a part of it too. (my views might be more skewed though, since I'm unfortunately a femanon and not as versed on how it affects men although I'm sure it's not much different with the anxiety).

if you came to that conclusion you're going to be okay, anon. most people aren't able to see that far.

and again, from one anon to another who's been through it, you've got this

>>17957396
in high school i used to use a red pen and pretend they were cuts and i would put lines all over my arm. it feels really good if you cant control your self.

>>17960317
Nah it's cool. I'm an unashamed femanon. So I get you. It's difficult to constantly keep in check that I'm eating the right amount let alone making sure I'm around people I trust when I feel my depression getting to be unsafe. And the anxiety fucks with my head and makes my heart beat erratically often when I get triggered.
Thank you though for saying I've got this. It just gets overwhelming sometimes you know?

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>>17960359
if you ever need reassurance like I said, I got you.
I'll believe in you, even if you have moments where you doubt yourself. just remember to make a mantra, a promise/swear to yourself when you're having your anxiety attacks. remember someone's voice or words when it happens or you get triggered, find solace in the fact that even miles and miles away there are people that believe in you. "you got this" "you're going to make it through this" "I promise I'm not going to hurt myself, I have too much I need to do" etc. etc. even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.

anyways, have a good night anon, and again you got this.

>>17957396
My old girlfriend would call me when she was having a tough time and was going to relapse into cutting again. I would talk to her to help her out. My suggestion is call someone who you can trust and talk through it. The urge will pass.

>>17960459
Thank you again! I really appreciate it. Have a good night.

>>17959982
Another good one is kicking chair legs, door frames, or bus stop signs with your shins. Stings real nice.

>>17960856
See that sounds great. I was actually pretty rage-y a few days ago and really wanted to break things. I was on my way to class and freaked a little and just slipped into the bathroom to "calm" myself down.

>>17960862
Hah right on. Headbutting works well too -- for instance it really helped short-circuit my having a meltdown at the airport one time. Although that was against a metal elevator wall, prolly a bad idea to do it against drywall.

>>17960879
Head butting? That's great...now I just have to find a willing partner...

>>17959982
BDSM is my thing actually. Hard to find others into that though.