Red Flag for BF?

Some people value honesty and some people value white lies. It sounds more like a compatibility issue than anything super wrong with either of you.

That said, it sounds like you could stand to be gentler and he could stand to be less whiny.

>>17955046
I can agree with that. I am a nice person but when if I asked someone their opinion on my art a cake I baked I'd want complete honesty. I think it boils down to compatibility.

>>17955033
you sound like such a controlling bitch. why should you have control over his hair? dose he have control over what hair cut you have? and holy shit you must be just perfect, everything you do creatively is just amazing and you've never cooked a bad dish in your life. your lucky a guy even wants to be a your bossy ass

>>17955064
4chan misogyny at its finest. She didn't say anything about controlling him or her own perfection, she's just confused about him being hurt by her honesty.

This is an 18+ site, by the way. Perhaps you should leave, boy.

>>17955072
haha I'm a girl and I'm 27 and she literally is saying she should be able to tell him to go shave his beard off. femacunt at its finest. I can't believe you actually used the word misogyny in seriousness lmao did your women's studies Prof teach you that word

>>17955077
Women are often the biggest misogynists. Not a huge surprise there.

>>17955092
you don't actually know what that means do you lol. fucking libtards your so stupid it hurts.

OK dip shit if he the male boyfriend told her that he didn't want her having short hair and she wasn't aloud to cut it, if he then harped and her and bitched about its length all the time. she'd have every right to get upset and no o e would say she's being overly sensitive to the "truth" they would recognize that he was being a controlling prick, but since it's her telling him how he needs to keep his hair it's fine.
if a man was always insulting his GFS cooking your say well fuck him she should not have to cook for him, but because it's a she that's insulting the man's had work in the kitchen it's fine. this bitch is controlling as fuck and it gets away with it because she has a pussy.

I was clean shaven this week for the first time in three years. I did it because I could. Now that I'm reminded what I look like without a beard, I'll be growing it back out.

>>17955106
That's not at all what OP said and your rampant hatred of her based on absolutely nothing is why I'm calling you a misogynist.

>>17955125
hating one person is not misogyny, your not understanding the words meaning. I dislike this girl because of what she wrote not because she's female, like I said in the above referenced situations, I'd find these actions and statement just as controlling and mean if done by a man. the only thing I have a rampant hatred for is stupidity and this blatent sexisum that's so incuraged against men

>>17955064
HAH! If anything he's the controlling one. I'm actually the submissive one.
>>17955077
I don't think you know how to read lol.
>>17955106
If this was to happen I'd look at it objectively, if I liked it than that's all that matters. However I would take my bf's feelings into account.
>>17955120
..Okay?

>>17955139
but your not taking his feelings into account, your belittling him even tho he clearly doesn't like it. just because you'd like to be nit picked and have every flaw pointed out to you doesn't mean he wants that. i know how to read just fine everything you said is degrading and controlling. even the way you word things is sexist you lump all men in together as if all of them have the same mind set twords criticism. you take no responsibility that you might be in the wrong and are being overly critical of him, you only asurt that he's to sensitive. your being a bitch no one wants someone telling them everything they do sucks. stop complaining and being so on his ass

>>17955167
Look, my main point is that if someone asks my opinion of something I'm not going to lie. Did I feel bad for telling him I didn't like his shaven face? Yes, I contemplated lying to him to make him feel better. But what does that fix? He'll shave his beard more often thinking I find it attractive when I don't. I'm not going to lie to him when he deserves the truth.
Let me ask you this anon, if your bf asked you how his new haircut looked and you knew in your hearts of hearts you didn't care for it, would you lie to make him feel better?
Honestly I need someone who's willing to take OPEN criticism. If you can't handle it, don't fucking ask in the first place because you're just looking for validation.
Namaste mother fucker.

>>17955033
>>17955180
You sound like someone who'd brute force a second date. I hope you aren't the type who takes open criticism and then becomes twenty times more bitchy to make yourself feel better.

>>17955180
my husband can have his hair however he likes I love him for himself not his appearance. if you don't like your bfs face that's a real problem, like how would you feel if he said he didn't like how you looked with out make up. like wtf is that to tell someone, I know I'm supposed to be your partner and lover but sorry I didn't like your face that way. how fucking shallow. i would never need to lie to my husband about anything I can be honest and tactful without hurting his feelings and he accords my that same respect. you could just be like " o baby you are handsome to me no matter what, but I really liked your beard I think I'll miss you having it" if you can't be that nice and see being insulting as being truthful your going to have a hard time making any relationship work.

>>17955203
/thread. OP went full autism

Use humour for superficial stuff like the beard or cooking, leave the honesty talks for more personal matters like drunk stories. Being straightforward every time comes across as too critical.

Ignore the cancerous replies above. If I like a girl and she wants me to keep my beard, I will keep it. Most guys like to have a beard anyways because it is comfortable.

Sounds to me like he's childish and is not compatible for you in the long run. Relationships are about making sacrifices for each other, otherwise they NEVER work.

Good luck.

OP let me tell you about constructive criticism vs destructive.

It's constructive if they can fix the problem created it's destructive if they can't.

For instance the beard shaving.
Saying
> I think you should leave the beard next time
Vs
> I think you look ugly now

Or the cooking
> I think this needs more salt
Vs
> This tastes like grandmas ashes and autism.

Or with the haircut
> You should tuck that bit behind your ear and use a bit of product and let it grow out a bit.
Vs
> Wow they fucked that up.

Basically it's fine if it aims to help not fine if you're just insulting.

Certain girls look amazing with curly hair and look terrible with straight. For other girls it's the opposite. I would want my girl friend to look good, it is totally normal. You don't want to be around someone who is unpleasant to look at. Most of these people seem to lack a concept of a natural relationship.

>>17955296
wow so your only with someone as long as they stay attractive to you? wtf so if your GF gets in a car crash and didn't look the same your out, if she got cancer and could never grow her hair back your just not into it anymore. what shallow little children you are. no concept of how a healthy loving relationship is supposed to work.

>>17955033

There's a clear difference between being honest and just being a bitch. The choice of words is extremely important, and by your boyfriends reactions to the things you say it's clear that you have very poor delivery.

What you have is not an endearing quality, not matter what you have been led to believe. Be nicer to the people you love and they won't get upset by your words.

>>17955180

You don't have to lie to get your opinion across without hurting him, just word it in a way that isn't insulting and degrading. Telling him you "don't like his shaven face" is not nice at all, would make most people feel a little insecure.

If his cooking is 60/40 and he makes something you're not particularly fond of, start by complimenting the dishes you enjoyed in the past and then say this could still use a little work and suggest changes to reach the same level as the other dishes.

It's really not that hard, you sound more like a bully looking for "red flags" from your boyfriend when you're the real problem here.

>>17955456
This. You sound like you have a massive chip on your shoulder and are an enormous bitch.

>Wow you look like shit without your beard, how long until it grows back?
>I think you look better with your beard

>This tastes like ass, I'm going to go order pizza
>You should try more pepper/cooking it less next time, I like how the soup came out though

>Your story is shit, I don't want to hear it, stop reading it out loud to me I don't give a fuck
>Oh gosh that's adorable, just HOW drunk were you when you wrote this? It's almost as embarrassing as what I wrote when I was fourteen, want to see?

The last one is especially important. Declining and ignoring bids for attention is a big predictor in whether a couple stays together or not. Basically, if something is important to your partner, if they say look at this cool bird, you don't say "I don't give a fuck" or keep watching TV, you look at the damn bird. If you can't care about stupid shit your partner tries to show you, you don't care about your partner.

>>17955131
You're expecting her to act a certain way because she's a woman and hating her because she doesn't. It's sexism at least and misogyny at worst.

>>17956008
literally said that if a guy was doing the exact same thing it be just as shitty, that's not sexist, this chick is very sexist tho she thinks because she has a twat she can be a nasty bitch as say whatever she likes as "truth" and boss this guy around. even the language she uses is sexist agenst males.

your are really fucking stupid, like everyone's immediate defense is oooo misogyny, your clearly uninformed as to what that actually means. it means you hate women, as I am female, I don't hate myself i don't hate my daughter's, I don't hate anyone just based of of there genitailia. I'm disgusted with the girl because of her mean and controlling treatment of her bf and her sexist outlook against men. i find the other idiot men in this thread saying that they should have control over there GFS hair just as rude and controlling. it is completely because of the horrible view points and behaviors these people are exibiting. it's funny that you are so intent on making her the victim because she has a pussy.

>>17955033
>Please give me advice on whether my bf is being overly sensitive to my honesty

yes he is

shaving the beard is kind of a biggie because that's his whole image thing - if y'all don't agreem then what ?

cooking & drunk writing if he can't handle your feedback on these 2 minor issues you really should question just what kind of character issues he really has

>>17955033
I think it could be the way you are saying things. Even though you want complete honesty, doesn't mean everyone can handle that.

Personally, my boyfriend does things I don't like either. My boyfriend paints and makes music as a hobby. He has a beard that I prefer him with. He's better at grilling than cooking. And he loves wearing royal blue but I don't think it looks good on his skin tone.

Sometimes, I don't like some of his paintings. Sometimes he didn't get the flow right when he sings. But, I don't want him to be discouraged from things he loves, so I tell him I like it. If he begs for criticism, I will say, "that last part didn't really flow" on a song.

I love his beard, but it's his beard and his choice.

If he cooks dinner, I still eat it if I don't like it because he put effort into making me a meal. If he asks how it is, I'll just say "good, maybe some more salt next time" or whatever.

When we're shopping and he asks if he looks good in that royal blue shirt, I'll suggest a different color, but if he still buys it thats his choice?

I don't think you're boyfriend is hurt by criticism in general. The way we say things has more of an effect than what we say in things regarding this. I always compliment before I criticize. Seems to make a world of difference.

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>>17956394
This

As a happily married guy, I behave exactly the same way with my wife.

Been 9 years together and happy since highschool

>>17956346
except she didn't say that at all. jesus christ. fucking retard.

you can't even comprehend simple grammar, and yet you're criticizing my intelligence. fuck off, misogynist idiot.

>>17956926
she definitely said all of that. your so fucking stupid all you can do is spout the word misogyny over and over. fucking idiot

>>17956975
and all you can do is use "your" incorrectly repeatedly, like some sort of idiot.

>>17956982
>wow I almost had to face the fact that I'm wrong and fucking stupid but they made a typo so I'll focus on that. Dodged a bullet there

>>17956982
cunt you just started a sentence with and. your language skills are worse then my second graders. stop trying to win your wrong and stupid, sexist and uninformed. if you got hit by a car today that world would be a better place for having been rid of your stupidity. fuck off