How do I deal with this?

>>17952362

Oh dear. I'mean very sorry, OP. To be perfectly frank this is a little above our paygrade; we mostly deal with people who want to lose their virginity.

I suppose you should try to make the most of your remaining time with her. There is most certainly a support group for people like you; the doctor can probably direct you to some.

>>17952366

The irony of me posting this on 4chan is not beyond me.

I just went through some of the other stuff in this board, you are truly correct in your summation of what /adv is about.

I have a solid support group of peers, and family, but none of them bar my mother has been in this situation.

I guess I'm just looking for the most logical way to rationalise my absolute worst fears, my own mortality has never been something I have questioned, even after having children. I always figured I'd be the first to go given my extreme lifestyle choices prior to meeting my wife. There is an 8yr age gap between us, and I can;t seem to understand why I can't deal with this problem in the way I have previously.

I fucking hate cancer, and I hate the fact that Big Pharma lobbyists have made it impossible for people like my wife to be able to access proven alternative therapies like whole plant extract cannabis oil. I now have to walk back into being a criminal in order to help her while she deals with the legalised, contemporary, poisons that the government legislated oncologists see fit to dose her up with.

I guess I can deal with her loss, what I'm struggling with is that my kids are losing the one person who means the most to them, the one who brought them into this shitty world.

FML

>>17952362
Praying for you OP

I wish you strength and wisdom, heartbreaking news.

Do what your gut tells you, even if its illegal. I think you'd be happier knowing you'd done everything in your power and no one in the world could stop you trying.

>>17952386

Second this.

Have No Regrets. Do what your gut tells you.

I'm terribly sorry.

I don't know if this would help or hurt to talk about (feel free to not answer), but I would love to hear your life stories, how you met, how your relationship began and grew, and how you came to be now. /adv/ is often a sad and jaded place when it comes to the kind of true partnership and love that you seem to have with your wife.

>>17952362
I can't imagine how horrible this is for you anon so I won't even attempt to imagine

Just popped in to say I'm sorry and hope you make it through this anon, I know you will

>>17952404

4chan isn't somewhere I want to archive our relationship, it isn't something I want make fit for >>greentext , nor would I ever do so.

I just want to get this out, some of what I have said, I have already spoken to friends and family about, other things I feel I couldn;t raise in conversation, because it just wouldn;t be relevant nor could I expect a reasonably objective response due to my peers or family never having confronted this situation before.

To everyone that posted, thanks for your empathy.

If I can say anything about my wife and I, we got married in a fever, rode a wave of radical self development, and decided to settle ourselves and enjoy being a "normal" couple before we got to old to miss out on contemporary things. Our kids mean the most, and they couldn;t ever have asked for a more devoted mother.

My life goes on, but it will soon be minus 50% of what has kept me alive for over 10 years.

Fuck this journey we call life. When someone ever says to you, "Don't take life for granted", believe them because they have been there before.

you cant rationalise
or accept it
maybe after years

im sorry to say but somehow todays society doesnt want to accept it that we die, we really do, one way or another

life goes on, not for you for a while but
you have 2 kids, if you break, your kids will break too

>>17952386
Thirding this guy, my neighbour/drug dealer was diagnosed with bone cancer and we all thought he was going to die but he used the hemp oil and went through the usual operations and hes back working in his farm and moving around the same as he used to. That was like half a year ago, I cant guarantee itl work for your wife but I guess its worth a shot. Ill pray for you too anon

>>17952362
I give you the best of luck, OP. Be strong for her and your children.

>>17952416
I definitely understand wanting to keep that stuff from being saved here forever. Even if we can't really help you, just hearing about your bond really helps me. So thank you for that, anon. I don't know if you're religious or not (and I hope this doesn't offend) but I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

>>17952362
tough shit, life sucks, you'll get past it but it won't ever stop hurting.

t. someone with a simmilar experience

>>17952431

Thanks guys/girls.

Yeah I hear positive things about Cannabis and it's healing properties, I will, and she will, be using this stuff until either she leaves this world, or she beats the cancer. I believe that it can do something for her, when it comes to curing her, I know that it's just too late for any restorative effect. The bone loss and damage is too severe, and even if the oil does diminish the cancer the damage done, is done, and her health won;t ever be the same.

>>17952431

Not religious, open minded to the fact that there is a massive universe out there, with definite advanced life forms other than us.

Also believe that certain scientific theories, "Many worlds" by H Everett being a big one, have logical thinking behind them. In fact it has been a way of coping for me in certain previous family losses, in a way it's not far removed from the whole "heaven" formula of belief albeit I could place credence in the theory that time/space can diverge into separate constants where a sentient, conscious, beings choices or observations can provide the maximum possible amounts of probability and then maintain the course.

I actually don't even know if I explained that right, I hope it made sense.

One thing I have for all of you.

Don;t take anyone for granted. The term "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone" is true. She isn;t even gone and already I am feeling her loss even when she is still here, right next to me in a cannabis oil haze.

Love the people you have, now, rather than wait to live every moment you have left with that person,and wonder if it was ever enough.

>>17952458
I think I understand. Do you think death is the end of being/consciousness/ essence/what have you?

>>17952362
Hey OP. I am really sorry for your situation and what your family is going through.

Enjoy every minute you get with your wife and have no regrets.
Go to therapy and talk to someone about it. Having your thoughts in order makes you accept things better.

I'm really, really sorry.

>>17952474

Yeah I do believe that once the body turns off, so does the mind. What inhabits your brain couldn't possibly survive after the one thing that maintains it ceases to function.

I'd like to believe that I'll find my wife again, or that in another parallel universe we are not even having to deal with this problem, but I can't and won;t entertain such things while the absolute reality is confronting me.

Already I'm feeling somewhat of a catharsis with my situation, I will be able to rationalise a little more from this point, I hope.

We were never here to stay forever.


Enjoy what few moments you have left.

Accept her death much like you've cherished her life.

>>17952496
I'd think there could be more to us than our physical mind, but regardless, I will definitely not take life or my loved ones for granted like you've said.

Something that's always in the back of my head is the saying "this too shall pass." It's both uplifting and sobering.

You feel impotent because you are impotent. In your next life, don't be a drug dealer and learn something productive for society like medicine. That way you can be smart and not have to worry about Big Pharma supposedly reaming you in the ass.

Here's my advice, buy some textbooks and start reading pubmed to learn how the unique chemical ligand and receptor system for her certain cancer works. Then try to treat it yourself and don't ever depend on anyone else again.

>>17952362
>What I want to know is how do I rationalise the coming death of my wife, my partner, the mother of my children?

You can.

However I would advise that feelings are not in the rational sphere. Dealing with emotions requires courage and honesty -- and a commitment to express them.

You seem to have these qualities, so I would think -- you will do fine, if you give yourself time and space, if you allow yourself to have these feelings.

That said... your wife ain't dead, and strictly speaking you don't know she will die. Where is she now? What will you do today?

Will it be a good day today? One day... at a time.

>>17952605

Fuck man, that was textbook, straight from my wife's mouth, I had to look inside to make sure she wasn't fucking with me.

This was the logic I needed to end my funk, although I'm still having to vocalise the absolute worst to just get it out.

Wife is asleep, in a total cannabis haze. I believe this oil will slow down, and stop this tumour. The science and overwhelming anecdotal evidence is too hard to ignore. What I am concerned about is that it could very likely be too late to treat.

Regardless, I came to /adv for something, I think it was delivered.

I never thought I would thank a particular board, but you /adv lurkers are alright.

Stay safe, love the one you're with, make it all count.

>>17952362

Along with whatever treatments she is under now, make sure her diet is as clean as possible, whole food plant based, lots of vegetables, fruits and grains. You want the best possible environment in her body to fight this disease.

She is thankfully still alive and fighting, the end might come one day but trying to come to terms with that now might be a little premature. Stranger things have definitely happened. Regardless you seem like a grounded, intelligent individual, your kids will always have you there no matter what happens. If the worst were to occur it would be immeasurably painful, but she will live on through you and your kids.

Take this time to really bask in the love that you guys share, fight this together but also take time to enjoy each others company.

>>17952440

I don't know why I came back, but I did.

The loathing I feel for revisiting this right now is intense. Fuck I hate this kind of introspective roundabout.

I missed your post >>17952440

Having lost many loved ones I agree with the "It never stops hurting". What I so need to complete this whole acceptance of the inevitable worst case scenario is someone who can offer that bit of self learned life knowledge.

That's not to say you all are not able, just that it would help me to work past this stage in the whole process.

>>17952741

Most of us go through life in a sort of dream like bubble, until one day it pops and you realise how fickle life really is. There is very little silver lining to losing a life partner but your kids and the lessons learned about life are some of the greatest you can hope for.

>>17952362
this is the realest /adv/ has ever been.

>>17952362
As a mother and wife I can't imagine what this must be like for your family. I'm sure it's going to be a long grieving process, but stay strong for those babies. As they grow up keep their mother's spirit in their lives, have them draw pictures and write notes to her, talk about her a lot. You should look into finding a support group of spouses that have experienced the same kinds of loss. Best of luck to you, stay strong.