So I'm signing my military contract next week, and I'll

What branch?

you better not be a jarhead or a worthless human being that dropped out of high school and now wants to be part of the MAHREEEENS! HOOHAAAA!

we already have enough of those

>>17952181
I'll be joining the Army
they're the only one guaranteeing me position as an MP. The other branches were like, maybe we can get it for you.

>>17952187
I have enough college credits, so I'll be going in as a private first class .

Be the grey man to your instructors. Don't ask a question unless you genuinely, life or death, need to know. Or at least, don't do that in the first few weeks when they're hazing out the quitters.

Don't ask questions like "Does our phones being taken away mean we can't have radios, too?" Because that's how you end up with no music at all for a week. If they haven't said no, but they could say no, don't ask.

Duct tape for your feet in blister areas before rucking is great.
Stay hydrated.
Volunteer to help out your bros whenever possible to get up that boot pecking order. You don't want to be the platoon shitpump.
For the love of god, don't be a blade and fuck your buddies over. You'll just dig everyone in deeper.
Bring a fucking lot of cough drops, you'll need them and be loved when the whole platoon gets shack hack.
Bring a few disposable e-cigarettes even if you don't smoke. It's good for socializing. You can just puff it for the taste and not inhale if you worry about cancer more than bullets.
Don't fall in love with a stripper or local girl. It's not gonna work.
Bring superglue.
Bring a handheld sewing machine because holy fuck you're going to be stitching a lot of stuff. You'll be everyone's hero, too.
Take leadership initiative.
Specialize roles. Some guys are great at boots and will do everyone's boots, some at ironing and will iron everyone's shirts, some at making beds and will make everyone's beds, some at nothing(help with other stuff, mop, etc).
For the love of god, do not ever leave your shit unlocked.
Your first day(s) will be nothing but screaming, stuff being thrown, and complete chaos. This is intentional.
Everything in boot camp is mind games. It's all a game. Don't fall into group hysteria, and don't take everything super serious (ie: "soldiers don't lean on things! DON'T FUCKING LEAN ON THAT LOCKER PRIVATE" - a blatant lie).
Believe it or not, your instructors actually will care quite a bit about you (and probably show it with PT).

>>17952207
continued
>MP
o-oh... You just got the least favourite MOS. Even less liked than quartermasters.

bring ghost kit. Soap and shampoo and whatnot you have on display in your locker, soap and shampoo you actually use, and a mini soap, mini shampoo, and mini emergency towel to always keep on hand in case you forget such things when you go for showers after pt.

You will never have a perfect inspection because that leaves no room for improvement. The trick is to never have the same thing wrong twice.

Take responsibility when you fuck up and do not ever lie. You will never find somewhere as forgiving of mistakes as the military, nor somewhere that punishes lies quite as much.

Your first weekend off is going to be amazing.

If your boot camp is like my basic, tuesday-sunday you sleep on top of your pristinely made bed. Bring a blanket with you from home. You only sleep in your perfect bed on monday, the day before you rip the sheets off your bed and get new ones.

You will be excited to get issued all of your kit. The day will come soon after arriving. This day will suck, because you're probably going to have to carry all of your kit. At once. All 3 duffels and a ruck full of it. Possibly up several flights of stairs. With a short time limit.

>>17952207

>. "Does our phones being taken away mean we can't have radios, too?"

I figured they'll be one guy who asks something like this, thanks for the heads up, I'll try to make a conscious effort to not ask stupid questions

> Bring a handheld sewing machine because holy fuck you're going to be stitching a lot of stuff. You'll be everyone's hero, too.

I've never heard of doing that, I'll take your word and bring one hopefully the drill instructor doesn't make me toss it out for whatever reason.

> Don't fall into group hysteria

I'm sure there will be little highschool kids freaking out, I'll try my best to stay composed and look after them if I can.

Thanks for the pointers man, I do appreciate it

>>17952252
oh, final point
Buttons.
All the buttons (and zippers), all the time.

Make sure your dress and deportment is good to go once you get your uniform, and make sure all your shirts/BDUs/whatever in your closet are all buttoned up proper after every time an instructor's been in there. They'll undo them to make sure you're actually paying attention to your perfect layouts.

Any unzipped zipper or unbuttoned button was 25 pushups for us. I recall one guy getting a debt of several hundred pushups on his first inspection. He was working them off 'til graduation, haha.

You'll probably have to ask permission to begin pushups, and permission to rise after, too, lest you do them all over again.

best of luck brother!

>>17952187
>marines
>hooah

What do you do with you life, anon?