Approaching women - Not PUA shit

Also interested, same as OP.

So my mates have literally been asking me.

Just go, don't try and be yourself.

I know you are thinking "omg, nigg that doesn't me wtff fuck you normie".

Seriously just go up "My name is anon, whats yours"

"Hey how is your night going"

"This line sucks eh".

From there you'll see if they want to be receptive if they aren't, fuck it move on onto the next table/group.

I literally went up talked to a group, and nearly went home with a chick from a "hi how was your night going".

When it comes to clubbing just dance (I'm still learning this), don't grab them from behind. Look at them, smile, make eye contact and go closer. Eventually you sorta grab them, while dancing just talk to them about random shit.

Two Simple rules
1. Have fun
2. Don't Try Hard


It should be a natural conversation just like how it would be with one of your buddies, it might click, it might not not. Onto the next.

>>17951691
Top line, should say "My mates have been helping me recently".

Don't try that hard and you'll be surprised with the results.

>>17951691
673 here, thanks senpai.

It seems too easy but then again, I guess if there's any place people are open to the idea of randoms coming up to them and socializing, it's at bars.

File: Naruto's_Sexy_Jutsu.jpg (32KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 640x480px

Tell her how good she is at using sexy jutsu.

>>17951709

I know that it sounds too simple, I didn't really believe my friends when they said it. Then I tried it a little and I brought it up with my therapist and she literally said the same thing. My jaw dropped and it was mind changer.

Once you remove the pressure of "trying to get laid", "trying to get a girlfriend". You can just be you and remove the social anxiety that you place on yourself. If you try too hard, people will be able to tell.

It doesn't make any sense, but as I'm slowly starting to see it works.

You will fail a lot and make a lot of stupid mistakes, but you can look back at every interaction see what you did "wrong" or were it could of went "better" and fix it for the next time.

I don't particularly like the club scene regardless, but i find it "easier" to approach women there but women seem to be less receptive in response. Whereas in a bar you can make a conversation out of anything and if it clicks it is almost like your awkward first date Q/A.

No one gives a shit if you strike out at the bar though.

>>17951691
OP here, I used the "how was your night?" line on a random girl in a tram when we were going back home from a club last weekend. She gave me her number. It was just that easy...and yet, when I'm at a bar/club it's different, as if there's more pressure because there are so many people around and it's like a competition or something in my head :P

>>17951724
Makes total sense. I think for me I'm just nervous about striking out in front of other people in a public environment, so that throws me off. I guess that's probably just a practice thing though.

At clubs I'm usually just content to get a dance for a while though.

How about talking about something interesting instead of dropping cringeworthy pickup lines?

>>17951742

Advice ITT has been good so far, OP. 90% of the battle is approaching, which takes a lot of confidence but isn't too difficult if you've had a few drinks and you're enjoying yourself. You'll get it eventually if you try.

Don't worry about being embarrassed, everybody gets rejected and everybody is at the club to meet people. Nobody cares.

>>17951749
Exactly why this thread was made...

I'm an alcoholic and I avoid bars and clubs like the plague. Ever since I've quit drinking it feels like I've lost my mojo when it comes to talking to women. It's been a month since I've broke up with my toxic ex girlfriend and the loneliness is finally hitting like a MACK truck.

>>17951803
Why does alcohol have anything to do with this? Even when I'm shitfaced I can't seem to figure this shit out.

>>17951662

How and where do I approach older women? They seem to have a thing for me, a few have approached me before but I was too shy to talk to them. Now I'm not as shy and want to try. Is there anywhere other than bars?

Say hi and ask them a question pertaining to their vibe. What are you drinking? Do you like this song? You come here often? Having a good time?

Alternatively play dumb and start with "excuse me" and ask a question pertaining to your needs like a wounded lamb. Is this (insert name of bar or club)? Do you know if i can charge my phone here? Any place nearby still open with good food? Is there an atm here?

Hard mode: play the fate card with things like "hey kate oh sorry i thought you were my friend kate. Hi do i look familiar to you? Or take the opportunity after they drop something and get it for them and if they arent totally engaged with somebody ask where they are from or how they are doing.

If they are receptive to your presence they will make it known with a smile and eye contact and small talk. Do not beat a dead horse if she did not entertain your question or greeting.

>>17951662

For OP, if he is still around: Why hook up with strangers? You have female friends and girls hang out with your group, right? Then start by going for someone closer instead, if it's easier for you.

I have been in that sitatuion, where I had no idea what to talk about with girls i like.

Basically it's exactly the same as you would do talking with a female friend or relative and having fun.

So before you go for dates, find girls who you have no sexual/relationship interest in and try to form a friendship with them, go to parties, lunch etc.

Then you basically do the same thing but with some other actions and you got yourself a GF.

Worked for me in that way, got a good friendship with the roommate of a friend of mine and a year later I didn't have a problem on dates anymore

I talk with plenty of strangers and from what I saw, your best bet is to not honor standard etiquette. Basically just sit down or catch their eye and start roping them into a conversation. No "how are you", no exchanging names. Point out something that is related to an activity you're both doing, start with an open ended question ("so, is tomorrow going to be a good day?") etc.

Either they will be weirded out or they will go along with it. If they are weirded out, you most likely wouldn't have gotten further than some tentative polite small talk anyway. I think it's a waste of energy to put in 100% of effort to not scare anyone off every single time. Just embrace the risk of sharing people of and weed out the people who are genuinely receptive.

Also, approach preferably when there's witnesses. If she seems nervous it can help to give the impression that you're about to leave any moment.

>>17951742
Strike out gracefully. Your Bros will commend you. Haters will laugh.betas will do nothing.

Move on and people will too.

>>17952755
It's actually not about dating or fucking or anything like that. I would just like to approach women like that, to see where it leads. Even if it leads no where it doesn't matter. The thing right now is that I feel like I'm an idiot who can't even hold a conversation with them :/

>>17952776
Interesting, goes against the grain of every other comment here. Any other open ended questions you recommend?

>>17952934
>I would just like to approach women like that, to see where it leads. Even if it leads no where it doesn't matter.

Where would it lead? To dating or fucking? Just the previous sentence you say it's not about that. So what's your objective here? Sort it out.

>>17952934
Basically I believe that you have the best shot if (at least) one of you is authentic. If you start out being cautious and strategic, while you actually feel passionate and daring, and she is trying to be polite and sociable while she's not amused, that's not going to go anywhere. So you're better off being upfront about what you want (a real conversation, a hook up, whatever) and being turned down or taken up on that right away.

It doesn't have to be an open ended question, different situations have different optimal openings. If you're at a crazy party just starting to calm down, in the middle of the night, alone outside with a girl while you're both obviously in an altered state of mind, asking something "profound" like what she's thinking of or how this compares to a normal night out for her or what she wants to do with her life isn't that odd. Do it in a regular club setting and it suddenly seems a cheesy pick up line - there you're better off going with something like "am I the only one who feels I'm always pretending this clubbing shit is fun?" or something more neutral, like whether she comes there often and if so, if she can recommend you a specific drink (if they serve own cocktails or what not).

The important thing is that you have to use your own state of mind and circumstances, that's the big difference. That means that once someone bites and is up for talking, you are instantly talking about a topic you have a lot of thoughts about, that is urgent/relevant to you in the present etc. That helps you to connect quickly MUCH better than any safe topic.

This might sound really vague but it's subtle stuff that you mostly learn by doing it, you develop an intuition for who to talk to and what to say. My best concrete tip from the top of my head is to not make everything you say rounded. Which is basically, giving full circle messages that are hard to respond to. Will give example in the next post.

>>17952972
Rounding everything:

Her: "Do you work? What do you do?"
>You: I work part time as [x]. It's pretty boring work but I used to do the same at y company and they pay a lot better so I guess I shouldn't complain.

Vs not rounded:

"You work? What do you do?"
>I work at x company, I used to do literally this same thing for less money so I'm good on that account. I find it really boring, though.

You are literally saying the same things, but in example B you are inviting her to respond to what you actually think of your job. In the first, you answer her and it's just a neat finished story that does not encourage/invite her to add anything to it. If she's a good conversationalist, it won't matter and she'll address the content of what you said anyway. But many young people would just go "oh, okay".

Now here's a much more open example to illustrate where you can take it:

"So where do you work?"
>At x company. The money's alright but it's awfully boring especially because I've done it for a long time. You ever feel like you don't know what realistic standards are for how much gratification you get out of your side job?

Now you aren't just inviting her to respond to you finding your job boring, you're also inviting her to respond to what you can expect out of life in this regard, what her own outlooks are towards this and her own job etc.

It is the difference between playing a social game with fixed rules so you can get through the event without awkwardness and silences, and really trying to connect with someone and get a feeling of what they're like and how they think.

>>17952606
Paint Night

>>17953388

That's a good idea actually, thanks. I just need to brush up on painting.

>>17951730
dude if you got a random girl's number on a tram you must be very good looking or just better at approaching girls than you realize yourself

>>17951730
>anon gets a grills number on the tram
>clubs are mystery and whole different game!

OP come on, that sounds odd to say the least

when you're in the club: just imagine you're in a packed tram on a friday night, and everyone's already dickered
boom
you're a pro pussy slayer again

fuckin' hell

>>17951662
Hasn't tinder kind of taken away the need for this?

At least in my area, lot of girls on tinder are really hot and once you match with them you can pretty much ask to hang out after very brief convo.

Approaching women you dont know is awkward unless you're super handsome and charming, but once they've agreed to hang out it's way easier to move that to banging than moving 'approach stranger' to banging.

Do whatever works for you though,

>>17953461
no he's just not an insecure fuck like you.

>>17951761
>90% of the Battle is approaching

No it's not. I've started talking to girls in clubs and Bars and on Campus, but for some reason I put some much pressure on myself to make things sexual I end up wierding them out or bailing.

Either that, or I don't care about getting laid to a degree where I ignore a girls invitation to her place because "sounds boring, I'd rather keep drinking with my friends" only to bash my head against a wall hours later.

Isn't it enough to just talk, be interested, porgressively touch and get closer and then ask her home/make out or w/e?

Then why the fuck are there entire books written on this? I'm not referring classical PUA btw, more "Therapeutical" stuff like Models by Mark Manson.

>>17952957
Well that's the thing, if I go in with the thought of the approach being purely for sex then it kinda adds more pressure on me. As where I think I just kind of want to practice and fail a bit, but at the same time I don't want to ruin anyones night by being an idiot/asshole.

>>17953461
I think it was a combination of a fluke and the girl just being genuinely nice and possibly a bit drunk. She was a cutie though but it never really led to anything (so far...). I'm also short, slightly overweight, and conventionally ugly. Like I wrote earlier, it's not a problem talking to girls, it's the approaching and then keeping the conversation going that's an issue for me. Short interactions like this one seem to be alright.

>>17953553
I've never used tinder because I feel like I'm not good looking enough to get matches. Like I wrote above, I'm short and not conventionally good looking in the slightest. Tinder seems like a place where a small selection good looking guys get to fuck a different rando every time time they feel like. The girls get swamped with guys going after them so it's a bit of a hopeless case for me.

>>17953577
Everyone has insecurities. The trick is to keep them to yourself.

The first approach doesn't have to be the only approach.

>See group of qt's
>Walk by
>Say something casual or funny
>"Having fun?" Yeah! *smile and walk away*
>"You guys have good taste in beers!"
>"This is my favorite song!" Walk away bobbing your head


They'll be thinking "who was that guy? he seemed cool and he isn't here chasing girls, he's just having a good time." See how this makes you stand out to the guys who go up and drop a pick up line?

Now what you do is when you see the group later on, or your favorite girl from the group alone, it's waaaay easier to approach them because you already basically met and formed a connection. You can just literally make eye contact, smile, and most of the time they'll smile back remembering seeing you earlier.

Good trick I learned by going to concerts.

>>17954656
>have a good time
>be funny
That's essentially all there is to, OP.

Script your game ^^ Or just be out with the goal of having fun and not for sex and you will get sex. You see it reeks when we want something. So just live in the moment.

>>17956310
That strategy might also backfire if the girl isn't fully into you. As an ugly dude you kind of have to be aggressive if you want it because otherwise nothing will come of it other than a friendship...