Why are escorts so much smarter, chill, and understanding than

>>17950794
OK for one it's because you're paying them to act like that. Two, there's a degree of connection that comes with it. Most escorts see middle aged, depressed men come to them because it's a solace. It's the one place where they can both release their instinctual urges while also having the opportunity to talk about their problems, because they're paying her to listen. An escort won't judge you because of the problems you're talking about; your wife or girlfriend will, on the other hand, because she has nothing to lose since she has that opportunity to meet some other guy and leave you.

>>17950794
You do understand an escort is paid to give a shit for what your saying? They are good at the art of conversation because that is their jobs, make men think they are special and keep coming back for more. Being an escort is more then sex, its creating a desire for their product ( them) Its so you only want them and keep calling them back and wasting money.

>>17950794
>I been able to find women who were as patient and reasonable with you than escorts.

You know you are paying them. You know they have to feign or exaggerate their interest. Yeah you come here to say how nice they are to you. Can you see this is insane? Have I fallen for bait?

>>17950794
>Why are escorts so much smarter, chill, and understanding than most women?
Because their job is to be likeable and satisfy you, both sexually and emotionally.

Also - maybe the fact that is a relationship without consequences makes you more likely to open up and be interesting.

>>17950794
What part of paying someone to do something you asked do you not understand?

I've never understood why 4chan's misogny always sounds like a justification to go gay.

>>17950809
>Have I fallen for bait?

Sometimes I wonder if the whole of 4chan is just bait.

>>17950835

I always try to respond, because I'm more afraid of what would happen if it's serious. But I'm pretty sure it's mostly bait. I prefer to believe it is...

>>17950829
>What part of paying someone to do something you asked do you not understand?
How unusually well they do it.

>>17950794

>>17950794

Sometimes the lack of ambiguity in a relationship gives a level a comfort to people that they can't find in other places.

The context and circumstances of your relationship are very clear cut. Both parties understand exactly what the other wants and therefore there is certain underlying understanding that makes interaction just plain easier.

The thing is that the escorts you met haven't been more open and conversational due to any of their own characteristics, but they are merely responding to your level of comfort and confidence you display in situations when ambiguity doesn't cloud your judgement and self-awareness.

This is kind of the same mental exercise played when people develop super emotional relationships with their pets. The nature of the relationship is easy and clear cut. The pet wants love, food and affection. That's it.

The simpler the relationship, sometimes the easier it is to get closer. In this case, its not necessarily a good indicator of your long term love life but it is a useful piece of information about yourself if you utilize it correctly.

>>17950864
>How unusually well they do it.

When you are starved for attention, any attention will feel "unusually" good.

>>17950868
>they are merely responding to your level of comfort and confidence you display in situations when ambiguity doesn't cloud your judgement and self-awareness.

A level comfort that exists because they won't leave unless you go really, REALLY psycho. So yeah, having a captive audience is not really a good place to develop social skills.

>>17950881
It can boost your confidence enough to enhance social skills. Sometimes you have to tell people what they want to hear, play to their delusions, in order to get them on the right path.

>>17950794
You're paying them. I slept with 2 escorts and I was surprised that they were giving me these compliments that I didn't want. They paid attention to me that not most women would give and they made it seem like I was something special and I knew it wasn't real from the start. I didn't care what they thought of me from the start so I can see past the bullshit.

>>17950881

>So yeah, having a captive audience is not really a good place to develop social skills.

I never said it was. OP asked a question and I gave him an answer devoid of any opinion about how healthy or unhealthy it was.

>>17950892

If he wasn't comparing them to "women" in general, I would be with you. But he described them like this: "Why are escorts so much smarter, chill, and understanding than most women?"

So no, I'm not gonna play to his delusions. He is the problem in his interactions with women. He doesn't respect them. And I'm not saying that because of the escorts. I'm saying that because he thinks the ones that "connect" with him are smarter.

He doesn't need an ego boost. He needs a reality check.

>>17950902
>I gave him an answer devoid of any opinion about how healthy or unhealthy it was.

Medical sterility or "objectivity" doesn't make an argument more "good". He needs to know what he is doing to change and improve. In this case, deluding himself.

>>17950906
>If he wasn't comparing them to "women" in general, I would be with you. But he described them like this: "Why are escorts so much smarter, chill, and understanding than most women?"
You can still use the escort, or escorts, to renew his faith on women.

>So no, I'm not gonna play to his delusions.
That shows a gigantic lack of empathy on your part.

>He doesn't need an ego boost.
You generally need to give people an ego boost in order to treat them.

>He needs a reality check.
Not going to work. You'll just lose him and make him more adverse to future attempts by others.

>>17950906
>So no, I'm not gonna play to his delusions.
>He doesn't need an ego boost. He needs a reality check.
well aren't mr. bigot

>>17950916
>You can still use the escort, or escorts, to renew his faith on women.

How? He already doesn't think of them as women. He puts them on another category. He can buy and control escorts, but not other women. How can reinforcing this help him in any way?

>Not going to work. You'll just lose him and make him more adverse to future attempts by others.

That's how you make circle jerking communities like /r9k/.

>itt: roasties justifying that being paid is the only incentive for a women to be nice

Of course they do that because they're paid to cunts, what you fail to see is that there's a market for it because women regularly don't give a fuck to being nice, smart, interested and so on

>>17950925

>well aren't mr. bigot

Sorry, then escorts are smarter than other women?

>>17950931
>How? He already doesn't think of them as women. He puts them on another category. He can buy and control escorts, but not other women. How can reinforcing this help him in any way?
Continuous good experiences with women over a period of time. That always treats prejudices.

>That's how you make circle jerking communities like /r9k/.
Who are often born through abusive methods and habits at the end of people like you.

>>17950934
>what you fail to see is that there's a market for it because women regularly don't give a fuck to being nice, smart, interested and so on

Maybe you are not as "nice, smart, interested" as you think...

>>17950937
>Continuous good experiences with women over a period of time. That always treats prejudices.

They are not "women" to him. They are "escorts" and that quality makes them better. Actually, the more he relies on escorts and them ore you validate that, the less incentive he will have to branch out.

>Who are often born through abusive methods and habits at the end of people like you.

Sorry I'm being mean. Find a nicer way to treat him without feeding his delusion and I'll be on board.

>>17950939
U mad? Because if you are like that, I see no reason at all to be envy of escorts like some itt are...

>>17950911

>Medical sterility or "objectivity" doesn't make an argument more "good"

I wasn't making an argument, I was answering a question.

If someone asks me why Germany invaded Poland in the 1940's and I give my answer that doesn't mean I either agree or disagree with the reasoning for it. Its merely an answer to a question, not an argument.

You can disagree with the reasoning behind my answer or the psychological implications I made but don't interject an opinion where there wasn't one.

>He needs to know what he is doing to change and improve

I answered the question in his original post. If he had asked "What can I do to change and improve?" I would of made an attempt to answer that but he didn't, so I didn't.

>In this case, deluding himself.

That is a matter of opinion. In my opinion, ostensibly speaking, OP doesn't really meet the criteria for being delusional. He is very much so cognizant of the fact that he is able to emotionally connect with escorts more than regular women and is readily able to accept how strange and flabbergasting it is.

Of course, I agree that developing close relationships with escorts is not healthy but OP in no way is trying to convince himself or other people that what he's doing is healthy. Rather, he knows what he is doing is unhealthy.

He meets the criteria for dysfunctional but not delusional. Delusional is characterized by or holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument. OP has, until this point, been very rational about his dysfunction.

Just because you're doing something dysfunctional doesn't mean you aren't able to understand the consequences and implications of your actions.

>>17950945
>They are not "women" to him. They are "escorts" and that quality makes them better.
But they're still female. They still satisfy a need he can't get from men. They're giving him a good, rewarding experience. He's walking out in a better a shape than before from them. And they satisfy not only physical, but emotional needs that you can only find in opposite sex (if you're hetero). Over time, that'll improve his views on women, and alleviate whatever issues he had with them simply through positive, rewarding exposure. Improving his views on the female gender, as it reduces whatever prejudices he had.

>Actually, the more he relies on escorts and them ore you validate that, the less incentive he will have to branch out.
Because they're creating a safe space for him. Like you would for people with trauma or mental illnesses. And if he's not branching out, he's less a burden to others.

>Find a nicer way to treat him without feeding his delusion and I'll be on board.
Can't be done for a long time. Unfortunately you'll have to go with the empathy-before-honesty rule before you can get them to come to whatever side you want them. Otherwise, you're just forcing your own views and standards on them, rather than the views and standards relative to them, and that they consent to.

>>17950957
>I see no reason at all to be envy of escorts like some itt are...

Me neither. I mean, all I need is money. Anyone can do it.

But you seem pretty mad with women. Maybe we can talk about your anger issues.

Why do you think " women regularly don't give a fuck to being nice, smart, interested and so on"? Have you been rejected a lot?

>>17950967
>Can't be done for a long time. Unfortunately you'll have to go with the empathy-before-honesty rule before you can get them to come to whatever side you want them.

Great. Here I am, hoping you can follow the development of this Anonymous internet user to provide a good psychological growth.

And you seem to believe he will branch out from escorts. Why? He is solving his problems. Or at least, fulfilling his appetites for a while.

As soon as he goes for a girls that's not being paid and she rejects him, how is he going to deal with that? Are you gonna be here for him? Or is he gonna end up in /r9k/?

You play amateur psychologist but you can't follow the process through. And without further work, you are just telling him he is right. I get what you are trying to do. But this is not the place.

>>17950970
Not OP, but to be fair, I have never met an interesting woman... ever, they're usually into dumb shit and conflate their interests to a huge extreme. The girl I am with now, if you asked her what shes into, she'd tell you art, and reading. Shes done 3 paintings in one year, and has read a book in 4 months. She mostly spends all her time on facebook, or bitching to me about how bored she is. She isn't the exception, she is absolutely THE RULE. Most women I've met, and I have drug my dick through plenty of them, lie about their interests, all of them really just bitch on facebook or watch youtube make up videos endlessly, but never actually wear make up unless they feel they have to.
Honestly, most women are awful, the ones who aren't, will become awful over time.

>>17950931
>He can buy and control escorts
>and control escorts
That's not at all how we work, you sexist twat.

We provide a personality and character to our clients because that's what they want, an actual person to connect with. We set rules and make clear of what we do and don't do in order to maintain the sense independence needed to come off like we're actually people wanting to interact with them.

It's not just sex, but the emotional intimacy involved. And making them feel good not only physically, but as a person, as a human being. Something that a lot of my clients feel like they don't get enough in their daily lives, whether romantically, or in general like their job and the world around. They just want to be treated with the respect and decency they feel absent from their lives. But want it from an actual human being that sees them like, here's the shocker, they're actually people. Not some actor at the beck and call.

>>17950964
>That is a matter of opinion. In my opinion, ostensibly speaking, OP doesn't really meet the criteria for being delusional. He is very much so cognizant of the fact that he is able to emotionally connect with escorts more than regular women and is readily able to accept how strange and flabbergasting it is.

Maybe we read it differently, but as I see it he is flabbergasted because he gets something "foreign" (attention), not because it's from escorts.

Hey, maybe I'm the wrong one. But if you are, that means you can't really "objectively" read what he wrote. Learn to work with subjectivity, too, because you can project as much and as good as I can. I at least keep in mind I might be wrong. OP hasn't come out to discredit me yet.

>>17950970

Not at all. Dating for 8 years. Having threesomes every few months. Pretty cool girls too.

Sorry for breaking your projection

>>17950990

I bet you, on the other hand, are charming and interesting.

>>17950996

I've been with escorts, thank you very much. And yeah, "control" is hyperbolic. But the point is you won't leave a client just because he is boring, right? Well, real people would. That's the point. He can't learn to interact if he doesn't learn to handle rejection. And unless he did something really awful, an escort won't leave him. Even if he is a boring manchild. Am I wrong?

>>17951000

Why do you keep dating her? Is it just a "sex for home and food" deal? Or does she actually love you? I mean, 8 years is a long time AND you call it dating. You are clearly more than FWB, right?

>>17950984
>And you seem to believe he will branch out from escorts. Why?
Because the amount of good experiences will motivate to try new things. Like most people.

>Why? He is solving his problems.
He's satisfying a need first.

>As soon as he goes for a girls that's not being paid and she rejects him, how is he going to deal with that?
Considering the amount of positive experiences with women he'll get through escorts, he's not really going to hold the rejection against the entire gender at the extent of before. And just chalk it up to another thing that didn't go right, rather than bulk of them.

>Or is he gonna end up in /r9k/?
With people like you, of course he's going to turn up at such places. Because you create an environment that's utterly hostile and unwelcoming to them, they're going to turn to different communities that might be worse in the long run.

>And without further work, you are just telling him he is right.
You're going to have to make him feel that is right and being fairly treated. Telling him what to do, what he *needs* to here, is not going to do that, and will make him persecuted, and turn away to worse avenues. In turn, deteriorating whatever he had.

>>17951022
>Because the amount of good experiences will motivate to try new things.

But all the good experiences are paid for. He already gave up on just meeting girls. MOst of them aren't smart or capable of having a deep conversation with him.

>Considering the amount of positive experiences with women he'll get through escorts,

Again, he already mentally differentiates them. His good experiences are with "escorts", not "women".

>>17951011
The point of the job is you make them feel like they're actually people. Because they're looking to be treated like actual human beings. Turning them away doesn't treat them like people. Rejecting them doesn't treat them like people. Seeing them as monsters that need to be corrected isn't treating them like actual people. They're looking for respect and decency, otherwise I wouldn't have a job.

>>17950999

>Maybe we read it differently, but as I see it he is flabbergasted because he gets something "foreign" (attention), not because it's from escorts.

We may be interpreting the information differently.

>Hey, maybe I'm the wrong one. But if you are, that means you can't really "objectively" read what he wrote.

It doesn't have anything to do with being right or wrong. We are both using personal experience and anecdotal observations to form a hypothesis about the reasoning behind OP's behavior.

I never claimed that my opinion concerning his predicament was purely objective. I only claimed that the question I originally answered had nothing to do with how right or wrong his propensity for emotionally connecting with escorts was and merely a supposition concerning the psychological process that causes him to be more comfortable around escorts than with regular women.

It also has nothing to do with projection because there isn't a trace of blame shifting or personal implications reflected in the conversation. Receiving information, processing it through the filter of our personal experiences and observations then forming an opinion is not considered projection. I'm not projecting any opinions onto OP, just giving my interpretation of the information available.

>I at least keep in mind I might be wrong.

Again, it has nothing to do with being right or wrong.

>>17951039

Awesome, I get everything you say. But imagine this:

Why would he try to date a girl that *might* reject him if he can pay one to stay? He already thinks that escorts are better than other women. Why will he even try?

That's why "developing" skills with someone you pay to pay attention to you won't work. As soon as he steps out of the hotel room, women don't *have* to keep paying attention to him. And he clearly can't handle that idea. I mean, he blames *them* for not being able to have deep conversations with him.

>>17951011
>He can't learn to interact if he doesn't learn to handle rejection.
He's not going to learn if he's constantly being rejected.

>>17951036
>But all the good experiences are paid for.
They're still good experiences and just as genuine to the person.

>He already gave up on just meeting girls.
Self-imposed isolation is not uncommon.

>MOst of them aren't smart or capable of having a deep conversation with him.
That'd be a cultural issue, then.

>Again, he already mentally differentiates them. His good experiences are with "escorts", not "women".
Yeah, but they're still female. Whatever experiences he has with them, he's going to intrinsically associate with female. Not male, female. And whatever positive experiences he has with female escorts will also apply to the female gender through free association. Which will colour his views and emotional stances on the gender.

>>17951019
Well, I call it dating because it is dating. Soon it will be a marriage. She's cool, interesting, sexy, talkative, gives me attention, and all the qualities OP attributes to escorts and that most women actually don't have. That's why she's not envy at all from hookers, unlike you.

She also takes my dick as the sole for of payment, so...

>>17951055
>Why would he try to date a girl that *might* reject him if he can pay one to stay?
He's probably looking for a committed relationship. Something sex work does not provide.

>Why will he even try?
Because he loves her.

>That's why "developing" skills with someone you pay to pay attention to you won't work.
It's exposure and giving him the social stimulation he's not getting from other people.

>I mean, he blames *them* for not being able to have deep conversations with him.
And this gives him a chance to build a experience with women that's not like that, and enhance his views and behaviour around them.

>>17951050

You say:

>I'm not projecting any opinions onto OP, just giving my interpretation of the information available.

You also said:

>You can disagree with the reasoning behind my answer or the psychological implications I made but don't interject an opinion where there wasn't one.

So wait, you interpretation doesn't include you opinion? Would it be "wrong" is you gave an opinion? Or am I wrong in how I read your post? I though there was no right or wrong here!

>>17951005
I have to be doing something right considering I snatch up women pretty easily, I'm not gonna say I always get quality, I've been known to bring home the occasional club girl and have even dipped in the chubby well. I work in banking, not the most well payed work but better than your average burger flipper, wakeboard and build miniatures as hobbies and collect betta fish. I don't have a facebook because its a gigantic waste of time, hell I didn't know what the fuck Instagram really was until some chick I was fwb for a while shown me, I prefer 4chan, the anonymity feels nice, an escape from work and friends and family.

>>17951066
>That's why she's not envy at all from hookers, unlike you.

Wait, you think I'm a woman that envies hookers? Sorry man, I'm a dude trying to show another dude that he can't hide behind women he has to pay to make them pay some attention to him.

He is the pathetic one here, I don't care about the escorts at this moment.

>She's cool, interesting, sexy, talkative, gives me attention, and all the qualities OP attributes to escorts and that most women actually don't have.

Good to hear you found one of the few good ones. I'm sure you are also quite a male specimen. That's why you are here defending the guy and insulting the vast majority of women with him.

>>17951059
>And whatever positive experiences he has with female escorts will also apply to the female gender through free association. Which will colour his views and emotional stances on the gender.

Sure. Like they are doing right now? He thinks most women are boring and shallow. He thinks escorts are awesome. I don't see this association you describe, Anon.

>>17951068
>Because he loves her.

What? When did he meet an interesting woman? Also, most guys end up falling in love with their regular escort for the simple reason that they are most of their female interaction.

>He's probably looking for a committed relationship. Something sex work does not provide.

Why would he want that? It's well established he finds other women to be lesser than escorts.

>And this gives him a chance to build a experience with women that's not like that, and enhance his views and behaviour around them.

Again, he has experience with other women. Negative ones. And he already thinks escorts are awesome. Why hasn't that dripped into other interactions?

>>17951089
>Like they are doing right now? He thinks most women are boring and shallow.
One's bad experiences with a certain demographics colours their view on them. It's how prejudice like racism start in the first place.

>He thinks escorts are awesome.
Who are actually giving him the satisfaction and positivity they couldn't before. And after a while, after enough positive experiences with these women, will eventually colour his view on the gender in a more beneficial manner.

>>17951099
>And after a while, after enough positive experiences with these women, will eventually colour his view on the gender in a more beneficial manner.

Why? Women on the street and in the club will treat him the same. He is not changing his attitude, because he doesn't think he is the problem. He thinks they are the problem.

>>17951095
>What? When did he meet an interesting woman?
Why else would he want a relationship with a specific individual?

>Also, most guys end up falling in love with their regular escort for the simple reason that they are most of their female interaction.
Because sexual activity with others releases chemicals that attract you further to another.

>Why would he want that?
Because he'd be interested in that girl in this example.

>It's well established he finds other women to be lesser than escorts.
Because they aren't satisfying his emotional needs.

>Again, he has experience with other women. Negative ones.
Which can be negated through consistent, positive exposure to women. The escorts being the only source available to him for that.

>Why hasn't that dripped into other interactions?
Because they just haven't been available to him. Or else he wouldn't be going to escorts.

>>17951112
>Why hasn't that dripped into other interactions?
>Because they just haven't been available to him. Or else he wouldn't be going to escorts.

He has had good experiences with escorts. Again, he thinks they are deep and smart. Why does he still think other women are not?

>>17951105
>Why? Women on the street and in the club will treat him the same.
It won't get to him as much.

>He is not changing his attitude, because he doesn't think he is the problem.
He shouldn't have to. Nor should have to think of himself in such manner.

>He thinks they are the problem.
That's going to happen with continued bad experiences with one group. Look at /pol/ and /r9k/. That's the result.

>>17950794
The same reason that as a salesperson I don't point out the flaws of my customers such as when they are fat or stupid. When you are in customer service, you understand that it is better to go along to get along. Like a well payed whore, I make $100K a year and am as charismatic and ingratiating as I need to be to make the sale and maintain my lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I am going to take good care of my customer and ensure they love their product because it ensures repeat business, just don't think I'm doing it for anything other than that money - even if from time to time I meet some cool people.

>>17951121
>It won't get to him as much.

Why not? Because the women he pays for pay attention to him? The association he already has (escorts = better) will become stronger.

>>17951117
>He has had good experiences with escorts. Again, he thinks they are deep and smart.
Yeah, and that can improve his response and views to the female gender. To actually be exposed to women who can be a positive benefit to him as a person.

>Why does he still think other women are not?
Because of bad experiences with them in the first place.

>>17951128
>Why not? Because the women he pays for pay attention to him?
Because the fact he's had enough positive experience with the female gender, enough positive exposure, that it lessens the impact. Continued bad experiences with them without sources like escorting just increase the impact with each blow, and darkening their view on the group he receives it from.

>>17951129

So, you think instead of closing more INTO escorts, he will move OUT and interact more with other women.

Why do you think that? He already showed us he is putting more of his faith in escorts *specifically*. Why do you believe he would branch out? On the contrary, he will retreat inwards more. He already started.

While it's a possibility that they act like that because you paid them for there time. It could be that the escorts behave that way because they live a life that is abnormal. They see shit and live shit that has to be fucked up at times and there's no way some of that doesn't creep into their mind.

>>17951133

> Continued bad experiences with them without sources like escorting just increase the impact with each blow, and darkening their view on the group he receives it from.

That we agree on. But to him, it's not "women" as a single group. It's "escorts" and "other women". So the more he relies on the first one, the more he will retreat from the second.

>>17951136
>So, you think instead of closing more INTO escorts, he will move OUT and interact more with other women.
Yeah, because he'll have his confidence up enough to take on different fields and explore. Pretty much everybody does that after a period of slump, when suddenly feeling more confident and outgoing.

>Why do you think that?
Because he'll finally have the social confidence and upper mood to want to try different avenues. Like everyone else.

>He already showed us he is putting more of his faith in escorts *specifically*.
Because they provide an emotional and intimate outlet that simply wasn't available to him before. Otherwise he never would've gone to escorts.

>Why do you believe he would branch out?
Because he'll have the confidence and positive experiences to want to. And since he can fall back on them at any time, it creates a sense of safety needed to take risks.

>>17951141
>But to him, it's not "women" as a single group.
No one sees a single group as just a single group, but rather a general umbrella they fall under. They're open to exception to the rules. But that's all they're going to see them as.

>So the more he relies on the first one, the more he will retreat from the second.
And the amount of positivity and experience granted from one of them while warrant him giving the other a chance and seeing them more as a people rather than flight-risks.

>>17951152
>Because they provide an emotional and intimate outlet that simply wasn't available to him before. Otherwise he never would've gone to escorts.

So we gloss over the reason as to WHY he didn't have the outlet before. That's what I say and both you and the other Anon ignore.

There's a reason he went to escorts. "Low self esteem" is not an inherent trait,. You aren't born with it. And escorts won't change the reason he is like this.

> it creates a sense of safety needed to take risks.

Or it creates a place to relapse after a rejection. People don't change if they have a safety net. And as I said above, he has to change.

>>17951160
>And the amount of positivity and experience granted from one of them...

Why? He is already having good experiences with escorts. And he is not here asking how to meet girls. He is bitching about how escorts are better. He is looking for validation. And you are giving it to him.

Also, here: >>17951163

>>17951163
>So we gloss over the reason as to WHY he didn't have the outlet before.
It could be for a lot of reasons. But the impact for it on him is still the same regardless. And why this is happening to him ceases to be the point and starts descending into victim blaming arguments.

>There's a reason he went to escorts.
We've been over this. Because they satisfy a need he can't find elsewhere.

>"Low self esteem" is not an inherent trait,.
But it's a very pervasive trait that ends up defining and altering a person. It's one of the causes of depression.

>You aren't born with it.
But it can still get bad enough to change you.

>And escorts won't change the reason he is like this.
Because neither of them should be expected to.

>Or it creates a place to relapse after a rejection.
That's actually a good thing, as it allows him to get over and better manage that rejection.

>People don't change if they have a safety net.
It gives them a sense of confidence to try harder and keep going. The lack of which prevents that.

>And as I said above, he has to change.
1). No he doesn't.
2). Going to escorts on a regular basis, and winding up with good experiences, grants a better chance at changing.
3). Whether or not he has to change is entirely up to him, and not your bigoted standards or what you think should be.

>>17951169
>He is already having good experiences with escorts.
Which influence his views on women in better direction.

>And he is not here asking how to meet girls.
People are not going to keep heading to a source that's been nothing but disappointment.

>He is looking for validation.
That's actually a good thing. And more productive than doing that.

>And you are giving it to him.
Because you generally need to in order to help better him. Empathy-before-honesty.

>>17951200
>People are not going to keep heading to a source that's been nothing but disappointment.

Then why would he try to pick girls up? He already knows there are girls to talk to, but he associates them with escorts. That's my goddam point.

He has his safety net. He has his good experiences. YET he is here validating them instead of trying to move on. He doesn't want to move on? Fine. But that telling him he is right about escorts won't make him move on as you think. He already thinks he is right, as he is not trying to move on.

>>17951216
>Then why would he try to pick girls up?
Because if his experiences with these escorts are consistent and positive, it'll boost his confidence towards women. And since has a safety net, rejection won't get to him.

>He already knows there are girls to talk to
Who have been utter disappointments before.

>but he associates them with escorts
Whose positive exposure can renew his faith in the female gender, because for once he has women that aren't treating him like shit, making feel less at risk of such with ordinary women than before.

>That's my goddam point.
And it's a shitty one steeped in prejudice.

>YET he is here validating them instead of trying to move on.
And yet he's going to people that make him feel a sense of humanity and like he's a person. That is him moving from whatever.

>He doesn't want to move on? Fine.
I highly doubt he has a choice in moving on or not. People generally don't in crutches.

>But that telling him he is right about escorts won't make him move on as you think.
Making him feel like you respect his opinions, views, and choices helps him move onto wherever it takes him. Telling him he's wrong doesn't respect him. Telling him he has to chance doesn't treat him like a person. Giving him "a dose of reality" isn't treating him like a human being. And in turn, just turns him away and makes him a worse person.

>He already thinks he is right
Everybody thinks their right, whether it's true or not. You're a deluded bigot who thinks he's right. You're both on the same page.

>as he is not trying to move on
That's his choice.

>>17951250
>I highly doubt he has a choice in moving on or not. People generally don't in crutches.

Does that mean he can't move on to you? Or will he eventually grow out of this clutches?

>>17951272
>Or will he eventually grow out of this clutches?
Eventually, but there's no way to predict or command it. It just happens as is. And resorts to a mere waiting game.

I haven't read this thread but damn, so many replies for such a dumb question

>>17951283

We are arguing about how to help people, it's not really about him anymore.

>>17951276

Awesome. But getting him more comfortable won't move him. At the very least, you have to *react* to what he says. I may have gone too much on the other direction, but he has to know he is doing something that's not healthy for him. Degrading other people while blissfully ignoring why escorts pay attention to him is not a step in the right direction. At least say something to that!

>>17951298
>But getting him more comfortable won't move him.
You need the person to feel comfortable and safe before moving him.

>but he has to know he is doing something that's not healthy for him
But it might not be entirely unhealthy. Emotionally, it's healthy. Mentally, it's healthy for him. And even then what's effective and what's more and healthy won't agree with each other.

>Degrading other people
Because he feels wronged by them.

>while blissfully ignoring why escorts pay attention to him
Because it makes him feel good.

>is not a step in the right direction
It actually is as it can put him on the right path to wherever it's necessary.

>At least say something to that!
Probably feels wronged by one group, goes to a demographic of said group that does the opposite, eventually give him enough emotional positivity to move on from his prejudices.

>>17950835
I was actually convinced for awhile that the site is just bot threads, logging what and how I reply to build a psychological profile of me for Dark Reunion to better tailor what they show me when I come here to manipulate me with information and media consumption designed to keep me docile and unambitious.

>>17951069

>So wait, you interpretation doesn't include you opinion? Would it be "wrong" is you gave an opinion?

>Or am I wrong in how I read your post?

100% wrong.

Disagreement is not a foundation for an opinion being right or wrong. I think tomatoes are gross. You may think they're delicious. Neither of us are right or wrong.

I may think the texture is gross and can go on for an hour about how slimy textures are inherently disgusting and most people don't enjoy them and provide data that shows more people prefer crunchy to slimy or sweet to savory but none of that invalidates your opinion nor does it set any foundation for whether or not one can factually prove that tomatoes are gross.

Its just an opinion, man. The fact of the matter is in my original post I proclaimed no opinion on whether or not OP's behavior was right or wrong, I merely proclaimed an opinion on WHY his brain reacts the way it does to escorts. You proceeded to tell me that I was supporting his delusions or projecting my own insecurities onto him and if you had read my posts carefully you could've seen that I in no way suggested anything of the sort.

You're confusing a lot of different concepts here and I think you're a bit caught on in the weeds. Providing an opinion isn't projection. An opinion does not always have to be morally based. Disagreeing with an opinion doesn't automatically make one person right and one person wrong.

You see?

>>17950794
They literally get paid to pretend. You're just a client, and you pretend to give a damn about people who give you money.

Same goes to people who tip well when you're in the service industry. Don't confuse paid workers and unpaid.