DO IT!

WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO TAKE AWAY MY SMALLEST AND MOST PITIFUL JOYS

This board is making me go insane. I turned to Internet strangers to get over him since I have no friends. But I keep thinking he wrote some of the posts. It's driving me crazy. I have to move on...

If I have to let you go for you to be happy, I will have to let it all go. I want you to be happy, not with me if you are miserable. I'm simply sorry for not being able to provide that happiness for you. Forgive me for causing you so much strife, so much stress.

Like two stars in the night sky, from our point of view they look to be so close but in reality they are light-years apart. Still, I am happy I got to share the same patch of sky with you, if even for a while. If in that short time I made you smile and laugh, then I can leave with a smile on my face. As long as I brought a little light into your life, then I can leave without too much sadness in my heart.

I will miss the warmth you brought into my life, the feeling of comfort and love. I will miss you more than you'll ever know. I will miss you, maybe more than I love you, but I want you to be happy.

I wish you best, I will always wish you the best that life can give. That you become happy and get what you want out of life. That's what I want to see. To see you shine, bright and beautiful like the stars above us. For a moment, I had you and had your light in my arms. Now I can do nothing but watch and hold the memories in my heart.

May the stars and universe guide you forward and towards happiness.
Take care of yourself, your family and those you love.

I will love and miss you, always.

>>17950162
Initials?

This board is really buggy compared to other boards for some reason.
If i hover over an image i get a
>file doesn't exist (404)
Message
If i click update, i get a
>connection error
If i try to upload from the quick reply box, i get a >connection error

It's the most inconvenient board of all.

>>17950154
>>17950162

See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Gaaah.

>>17950154
Girl, same.
You have "kay eye kay"? We could chat

>>17950162
>Anon makes big poem posts like this every thread
>Femanons always reply asking/thinking it's their ex

You do this on purpose don't you?

>>17950165
You have to disable adblocker, been like this for a long time, no idea why.

Honestly, not joking, that's the solution. They had a sticky I think a long time ago for it.

What is the point of these threads? No one is gonna read it/reply/care, you niggers might as well write on a piece of paper at your house.

>>17950162
Also, screw you for not posting initials. Go back to your containment board /pol/

>>17950187
I read it/reply/care. Besides it can help to just offload things without having to worry about actually telling someone you know about it.

>>17950164
>>17950175
>>17950190
I doubt my initials will matter here.
I doubt the person I wish to tell to would ever come here.
LM
>>17950181
On purpose? No. I am one of the few that post because I just want to vent it out.

I'm not sure if I'll live to see 20.

>>17950209
Of course it's my fucking ex's initials. He's not the one I'm trying to move on from though. What the heck though.

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>>17950209
You literally posted the exact same thing yesterday minus the last couple lines.

Your stupider than I thought if you actually believe that I want you back much less want to be your friend.

Remember when you asked me if I posted something a long while back?

Remember saying something along the lines of "showing everyone how you act" to me?

Have you not figured out I was posting that stuff on here to give you what you wanted so I could weed out the people in my life that don't belong in it? The people who would lead me to believe that they are good friends when in reality they are not. The people who could have spared me a bunch of bullshit if they were really looking out for me and told me what the hell was going on. Not even sure why they wanted me around in the first place if their opinion of me was based essentially on hearsay and so low, but it doesn't matter because I am rid of them and am no longer confused about what happened with them a while ago. They would rather of lead me to believe that my hearing voices now encompassed hearing voices of people I actually knew. At the time that was a horrifying prospect for me since before I always knew it wasn't real and just ignored it, hence why I never told anyone about it up to that point. Since i never told them about it before they assumed i was lying i guess. Now I figure that miss bartelt was taking whatever you had to say and relaying it back to my, at the time room mate, for him to judge me to be a piece of shit. Like he's even one to judge anyone, especially when he has been known to sleep around with his "friends" wives and girlfriends. Nor is Jennifer Bartelt one to judge others when she cheats on her husband with one of her and her husbands "friends". It was awkward sitting with miss bartelt, the shared friend of her and her husband and her husband knowing that information. What's best about me saying the above is that I'm wasn't even trying to be nosy in order to learn of that stuff, it was all volunteered information.

>>17950239
What thread was that in?
>>17950220
What are your initials?

>>17950243
>stupider

That's not a real word anon.

>>17950258
I don't want to talk to my ex, so I'm not going to tell you. He's a lying piece of shit. If it is you, know that I'd never go back to you and you suck.

>>17950277
You sound legitimately crossed. I didn't do anything that would have burned this person in such a way. Things just fell apart, much like I did in our together.

As for you anon, I hope you feel better soon.

>>17950277
But just in case your initials are IP.
I don't know what you heard or misunderstood that got you feel this way towards me. Call me or text me and maybe we can actually clarify things.

>>17950317
Yeah then I guess it's not you. What are the chances though. Good on you for being better than the LM I had the pleasure of knowing.

I can't be a fucking tranny. My bullshit sister/brother/whatever-the-fuck-she-says-she-is is the disappointment of the family. I'm the good one, I have to be, my parents deserve at least one kid who isn't a freak. But now I can't stop thinking about if I was born a guy and looking in the mirror feels like shit, and whenever I imagine myself in the future, I only think of the future I'd have if I was a man. And I know guys don't have it easy at all but but fuck I wish I was one and I hate it. I have to stop these thoughts somehow. I'd rather off myself than be another disappointing leech on my family and society

>>17950350
Do you feel dysphoria, or do you just wish you were a guy because being a woman sucks?

Hey, don't think you have to be "dying" in order for me to forgive you for things. Don't. No matter what, I will love you unconditionally. You're a beautiful soul going through an incredibly trying time. I have battled and suffered through the same things and I know you in ways that no one else does.

I am willing to continue loving you, continue trusting you and not jumping to conclusions because I know you will try to make an amends. You will make this right, you will. Nothing you can do will make me ever hurt you my love. I won't ever hurt a soul. I'm nothing but love. I'm nothing but heart.

You know me. You know every part of me. I will be waiting for your love patiently. I will trust that you will tell me the truth, all of it, as part of making your amends. I will never judge you, ever. Trust in me, please.

Part of making an amends is working towards not repeating your past mistakes. This is why I will forgive you. I love you. I trust you. I miss you.

It's going to be ok. It is. You have me. I mean, come on... it's fucking me! What a fucking catch.

Please do not let anyone mistake my forgiving heart as weakness, or as forfeit of my self worth. I know who I am. I know that it takes much more work, much more devotion, much more understanding to be a good man. Someone that forgives those that hurt them is not weak. They are not doormats. They are what the world needs most and because it is so very difficult to be a good person there are very few.

I will show you something I so badly desire myself. Unconditional love. Compassion. Empathy. We are all human. We all make mistakes. We are all deserving of love.

I love you. Bad things happen and I'm not about to let them get any worse. This is as bad as it's going to get. From this point onward it can only get better. Have hope in your heart baby. I do.

I can't wait until the day our noses, our foreheads touch and you will get to stare into my pale blue eyes again. They are only for you, your's forever.

Anyone know why the last GIOYC thread was scrubbed?

>>17950355
I don't know if it's dysphoria, when I swallow my pride enough to look it up, all the descriptors are vague. I guess I feel shitty in my body, but I don't like to think about it if I can help it. Everybody who knows about this kinda shit acts so wishy washy about it and I live in a part where everyone who is visibly lgbt is really into ~*subverting and breaking gender*~ whatever the fuck that means. I don't want to be like them.

Being a woman isn't inherently bad in my opinion. Sure it's not perfect, but I think a lot of women ignore some of the benefits that come with it. I just don't feel right with myself and almost always I go to "lol what if I was a guy". I think I'd come off as less of a freak. I hope I'm just kidding myself and I'll just turn out to be a masculine woman. I'd be fine with that. I've got no real interest in sex or dating anyone so I wouldn't be a fag.

I feel like I'm missing something but I don't know how to put it

i'm so fucking lonely

I hate most of things. Doing things brings more frustration than having them done satisfaction and there is no sense of doing anything. I have sick cancer giving idiots for parents. I suck in most things. Im needless. I don't want to kill myself cuz it makes no sense to die- why to die if I actually never experienced anything. I hate people, who have soemthig they do right and think they can ignore other stuff like it doesn't exist. I hate peple using schematics without feeling need to understand. I hate people beliving in good and bad. There is no such thing. And they try to make something they are confortable with in their tiny minds to good and opposite things to bad and avoid inner conflicts. I hate the way human's mind works. It's like I refuse to have opinion and take part in the race for filling world with "me". Because I know it's race. And I don't feel okay when someone is loosing and dies. And it makes

>>17950480
ops i pasted something i wrote before i didnt remember it was unfinished or something

So what the fuck ever.

Jer - congrats on making your mother feel so ashamed it drove her to suicide. For a while I thought that it was somehow my fault or I had caused her to feel guilty about something, maybe relating to when you her and I lived together. Maybe I'm wrong but I doubt it. You hate drama but either cause a bunch of it or don't care to do anything to stop it.

Jennifer B - Never had a problem with you until now. I had no respect for you since I knew you to be a vapid cheating cunt but now I'm fighting the urge to burn your house down while you sleep in it.

Nat - I know you took my tax return and gave it to her and I know why. Just know that it was a prank, no actual damage was done and you were used to fuck over a "friend" for no good reason.

Nick - I know your not innocent in all of this shit either. At the very least you've been lying to me for a long time.

Dan - Don't really have anything to say to you other than fuck you. You could have acted like a friend and told me what the fuck was going on.

Dad - I really don't understand your position in all of this bullshit. Pretty much figured Nick told you what was going on. You're response was "people around here are mean". Of all the people, why the fuck are you pulling this shit? Do you really think that playing dumb and lying to me is going to strengthen our father-son relationship? Even after everything I've told you about another person pulling that shit? OK Mr Honest. You'll lie to your son but not to your ex wife or her mom.

Fuck, if any of you would have actually been a true friend instead of manipulative lying uncaring cunts events would have unfolded much differently. It's because of the way you acted that got me all spun up thinking there was some kind of conspiracy bullshit going on, but really all it is is a bunch of grown as people acting like they're still in high school.

In short fuck all you people and being alone is far better than having any of you around.

>>17950267
And?

I don't recall asking you if my Grammer was correct or if words are not real words and I don't really care in either case. I'm not writing a book that I want to get published or the like so it doesn't fucking matter.

Improper Grammer and words that are not real words still seem to convey the message just fine.

I feel as though no one will ever have romantic feelings for me and that I'll be alone forever. I'm average (looks wise) and try to be nice to most people. It seems as though there is a part of me that I can't see, but everyone else can that's deterring people away from me.

>>17950534
Yeah. Girls aren't interested in me too.
This makes no sense but I feel sick of not posting

I have sick cancer giving parents, If not them, I would at least be shitty game playing idiot. Because of them im shitty screen looking and doing nothing idiot.

>>17950646
I have no idea what you're saying. What's your native language?

I feel like im rotting and falling apart. My braint hurts inside.

>>17950655
Why do you feel that way?

>>17950534
Maybe it's low self esteem. I know that puts me off from liking an otherwise nice guy.

>>17950653
Im saying. "There was time i liked playing computer games. I was doing nothing useful, but at least it was something i liked to do and something interesting. for me. But my parents were saying i should stop, and do real, useful stuff. But I just stopped to like computer games and now I don't like anything. And I'm doing nothing and only looking at my screen.

>>17950658
Because i don't like anyting and I do nothing. Doing stuff sucks and having them done is no fun.

>>17950676
I know that feeling. It's easier to avoid videogames than avoid browsing the internet. Do you have any other hobbies?

Why am I my own worst enemy? I hate myself and what I do. The solution is so obvious, but I feel too lazy or too selfish to put in the work to fix myself. I'm a conniving, lying, cheating slut and I ruined the best thing I ever had going for me. Is it because I was molested? Is that just an excuse for my deviance? Where is the line between addiction and excuse? Why can't I be pure. She was. She never would have done this to me. I spat in the face of her love over and over, yet I know I still want her. I want to be good for her, for myself. I don't want this dirty life, and I keep doing terrible things nonchalantly. How am I supposed to forgive myself?

>>17950685
Really? There's absolutely nothing you like? But surely there are things you used to like at least

>>17950658
Like I don't reward myself for things.

I'm like... all bout dem snugs n shit.

I will like...

suck all your lady dicks. I'm super tired. I just killed 2 more stink bugs. I have no fucking idea where they are coming from. I think from the garden plants? My mom has like... a million god damn plants that we bring in for the winter and those fuckers hibernate in the dirt.

I think they originated from korea. They eat fruit n shit. They don't bite, they don't do anything other than just bounce around the ceiling being annoying as fuck.

FUCK YOU STINK BUGS.

So like, about those snugs...

Good god I miss you. I miss you so much. We are going to be the greatest. GREATEST.

For fuck's sake we already are. Just... patience and love. love love love.

>>17950691
>>17950698
I like to eat tasty food when I'm hungry. I like fastfoods the most- no cooking. I like winning and being better than others. I like creating stuff but I have no skills to do so- I have many ideas but only ideas. I like watching Rick and Morty. ps. My parens are going to switch my internet off in a few minutes for the good sake of mine or something. Im fucking 17 lol... They are sick. And if Im not sleeping for too long they switch off electricity in my room.

>>17950144

You want sex. You want to cuddle. You want me to play with your hair and listen to music with you and go on trips. You told me I was asking for too much so I left you alone. I never even contact you first anymore, but you keep talking to me. Telling me how happy you are to see me. How great I am in bed. But if I have sex with anyone else, im wrong. You want everything from me.

But you're "bad at relationships"

Get fucked. Ill use you for what you're worth until I find something better.

i hung out with a random girl from tinder and now i have extreme feels and im staring at my phone every few minutes hoping she'll reply to me

what's wrong with me

i don't come across as an insecure needy freak irl (i hope) but that's exactly what i am

can people sense this? i fucking hate feeling this way and i know its irrational but i can't help it OR logic my way out of the hole

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HOLY FUCK WHY I AM SO RETARDED, THIS IS MY THIRD TIME TAKING THIS FUCKING EXAM YET I STILL FUCKED UP AND PROCRASTINATED.

FUCKING KILL ME!

>>17950144
I'm afraid of how fast time moves.
I'm NEET with depression up and down since the last 3-4 years, wasting most time in front of computer, doing nothing specific except fucking head up with thoughts about life n everything
Now im soon 22 and dont know what to do with my 1000 interessts have headache, no motivation, anxioussnes, no self esteem etc

>>17950741
Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too

>>17950747
Yeah me too- something like this. I am interested in some things but It's like it makes no sense to choose anything.

>>17950738
Oh you're so young. You have time to learn any skill you want. The only difference between someone who creates good things and someone who wants to but doesn't is that the latter gives up. Not "talent" or "skill" or whatever. If you really want to be better than others, focus that energy into doing what you want. Good luck!

>>17950746
LoL School is shit.

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>>17950772
Nah mate it is college and I took the year out and got a job just to concentrate on that one subject.

>>17950745
Er yeah I'm pretty sure people can sense it. Try to distract yourself somehow. I feel you since the same thing happens to me.

I fell for this girl. She's damn near perfect in my eyes. Cute as fuck, kinda awkward in a good way. Smart as hell, knows what she wants in life. She is the type of girl that I wanna marry.

But she gives of mixed signals.

She seems very enthusiastic about meeting up and doing something. But then when we get close to it, she shys away. Maybe it's her awkwardness acting up? who knows.

But it's not like she shy's away from talking. We can talk for an entire day without issue, and she will always respond to my mild teasing favorably. While she kinda does the same to me, but in a way that would be trying to motivate me to do something

I don't know what the deal with her is. Seems like she might actually like me. But she just can't commit to a meet up. Even those she seems so eager and enthusiastic about it. I guess just take it slow until I actually get some sorta response from her.

Though I kinda wanna either just come clean with her with saying "Hey, I've been holding this in for a while, but I really like you, but I've always been afraid of losing you as a friend as well because I care a lot about our relationship, but I had to get this off my chest, I don't really care if you don't feel the same way, but I'd still like to remain your friend as well if I could."

or just try again with meeting up. But make it seem more intimate or romantic with something like "I really enjoy talking to you, and I want to take you to _______ this weekend."

I like you very, very much. Break up with your current partner and come with me.

(Yeah, nothing amazing)

>>17950375
People responded to the resident troll, it's newfags not realising to just ignore him let him have his posts and don't let it escalate.

Probably all the underageb& with too much of an ego so that they think they need to comment on everything.

>>17950473
Get a cat

I think things are looking up. I hope I get this job so I can move back into a town where there's actually stuff to do. I'm excited. If I get the job, I'm going to take it as a sign I should try to bring you back into my life. I don't know what's up with you or how delusional I am, but I'm going to try one more time. I just have to stay patient and see what happens right now.

I still feel like shit and want to kill myself but lately I've been doing really well career/ academic wise, and recently my parents have spend quite a lot of money in something for me, related to my studies, which is supposed to last a lifetime.

My life is still meaningless and I can't find any level of satisfaction or fulfillment anywhere, at least then I could find comfort on the fact I could always kill myself and just end it all. But as everything in my life has been going so well, at least externally, that has become less and less of a possibility.

I know it sounds bitchy because on the outside everything seems to be going well but it's internally that all of those issues exist, I don't feel any sense of contentment on an emotional, social, sexual, etc level.

And I have no other coping mechanisms. My only chance left is to be runover or shot or killed in any other way that ends being someone else's responsibility.

>>17950776
Well, sorry than. I don't know how hard you study or what you study or how hard it is. I don't know how can someone learn something, think that he learned it and than like, beying suprised he failed. If i can't learn something i fail and i know i will fail cuz i couldn't learn it and i didn't know the answers.

>>17950963
Being ones responsibility sucks. I hate when people do stuff for me.

>>17950769
Too many people say that.

>>17950985
Why do you think that is?

>>17950769
some people like maths, others don't. I would need maths to do programming stuff and create. But i suck in maths. I suck in x,y functions stuff, can't imagine and remember all this,

I feel like people treat me like opportunity to feel more experienced, wise and older while they don't really have to do anythig.

this>>17951006
is for this>>17950992
sry

>>17951006
Why is that?

>>17951006
Err, no, I didn't even know your age when I engaged with you. Sounds like you judge people pretty negatively though.

>>17951049
Yeah i do. Probably.

>>17950993
I know someone who failed math through all high school but did well in computer science math. I think people have more of a mental block with it but I can't give much of an opinion since I always did well in it. Anyway, if you like videogames, you're probably good at understanding rules and that's really all math is about. It might seem overwhelming but it's really nothing more.

>>17951049
I judge many things negatively. Myself too. Im afraid if i judge myself and other thigs positively I will become someone who doesn't care for what is real but only for feeling good about myself.
>>17951072
Yeah.. here is the problem. I liked games, I wouldn't say if it had something to do with rules. I would reather say I don't like rules at all. I hate schematics. Honestly I played minecraft alot.Well there was time i played command and conquer. I liked it but i can't cay more because parents did not let me play any fps like it was bad and stuff... so i had no big choice. Im trying counter strike lately. . . But it's not really my thing.

>>17951072
May be it is a mental block after all. It seems so.

>>17950144
She should have just ditched him weeks ago

>>17951072
I don't know.

>>17951103
I understand. Positivity vs negativity is quite a topic isn't it? Being positive may seem naive, but I prefer it because in my experience negativity hinders progress. If you feel like you'll never accomplish anything you probably won't. As with everything, I guess there's a balance to find.

>>17950978
Worse than that is having to do stuff for other people and never being reciprocated.

Right now I'm ready to be runover or something and have it be someone else's fault. Maybe they could also benefit from that insurance money.

I wish you were honest. I'm tired of being confused. It's like my mind can't accept what you said and keeps looking for possibilities that make sense. Please brain, stop that. It's pointless.

>>17950963
What kind of meaning are you looking for? What do you want emotionally, socially, etc?

>>17951135
It's like. Negativity makes me look for better goals, positivity let's me do progress but when Im positive and get satisfied by one smaller realistic goal I don't see these big ones.
>>17951146
Yeah. Stuff for other people like school. Like homework. That addidionaly takes my time and gives nothing in exchange. (What does the second part have to do with rest? )

>>17950894
gotcha. thx. I'd seen much worse

Oh shit, it's you.
>>17950963

>>17950963
Y know, I like to give advices too. I can say i go to school i don't give a fuck and im not interested in at all and I choosed it only because... I didn't choose it at all. I see no reason in going to school i don't want it. I choosed what was the easiest and what pleased my father who wanted me to go to this school. I don't give a fuck and i don't want to sdudy at all.

>>17950903
I should

>>17951235
Whoa, yeah anon get a cat but don't becoma a crazy cat old lady! Shit 4chan's great place.

>>17951135
>>17951146
>>17951187
>>17951209
>>17951230
OH SHIT I MIXED THE PEOPLE! sorry guys

Forget about your house of cards, and I'll do mine!
Fall off the table!
Get swept underr...

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I *refuse* to fucking acknowledge him because he never loved me, he took total and complete advantage of my hopeless romantic tendencies, and well, yea, he never loved me...or respected me.... -.-" maybe I just need the weekend to cool off about everything my friends and family are telling me. It's weird I never thought of things to be this way until I came around my friends and family.....but the proof is ultimately in people's actions and I've fucking proved myself many times, depression or not.

Sorry, Im total noob. It should go like this:

The person im talking with about my problems:
>>17951135
It's like. Negativity makes me look for better goals, positivity let's me do progress but when Im positive and get satisfied by one smaller realistic goal I don't see these big ones.

And here another person we were talking about school and stuff:
>>17951146
Yeah. Stuff for other people like school. Like homework. That addidionaly takes my/(your!) time and gives nothing in exchange. [awayitgoes](What does the second part have to do with rest?)[/awayitgoes]
>>17950963
[awayitgoes]Y know, I like to give advices too.[/awayitgoes] I can say i go to school i don't give a fuck and im not interested in at all and I choosed it only because... I didn't choose it at all. I see no reason in going to school i don't want it. I choosed what was the easiest and what pleased my father who wanted me to go to this school. I don't give a fuck and i don't want to study at all.

>>17951269
nope. xd

shit, "xd" is a cancer.

>>17951299
Sweetheart please.

I don't know why, but some days I feel great and other days I feel like shit at random. I did basically the same things yesterday but today I'm not enjoying any of it. Would this be considered mood swings?

>>17951180
Basically emotional and physical intimacy with someone who I trust and understand, and in turn understands and trusts me. Who returns my affection.

It's been a long time since I even had a friend or someone close I could confine in and trust you see... It sounds simple but I guess it's something I've been deprived from.

>>17951313
k, you're right.

>>17951320
:)

I love you. I love you...
Is this how it's going to be now? Never seeing you, never hearing your voice again, never knowing if you're proud of or disappointed in me.

I'd give anything to have you here again. Instead I'm forced into this painful role of "moving forward" even though this is just a polite way of putting "living with a huge and incurable wound in your life from here on out". Well no-one said it would be fair but this is almost too much to bear.

I know you lived a full life and felt loss very keenly and unkindly in your life too. But, selfishly, I feel like you have left when I need you more than ever. You know I'll always be glad to have had you in my life no matter the grief I feel now. If I had my life again, it's worth all the pain to have known you.

Really I feel like i'm fucking up so badly now. I can only imagine what you'd say to me. I hope that I can do your memory justice and give it my best. I will miss you so, so much, and though it feels hollow now I hope to live a life you'd have been proud of.

>>17951317
I see. Yeah I get it. I haven't had a good friend in a while either. It messes you up. It's something so attainable though, don't give up. Hope you find someone

>>17951331
I feel your pain. These wounds never seems to heal too much to ignore. How are we gonna survive this.

>>17951344
I have real friands but i feel much more closer with you all because when it comes to real people i can't really be honest with them without being afraid what they will say. Kinda sad but true. Should I talk more and more honest with my friends?

probably we are not so real friends after all.

me and them i mean. or something.

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I'm pretty sure I'm going to kill myself sometime soon, hopefully this month. I've dug myself into a hole that I will never ever be able to climb out of, and even if I do, the fear and paranoia of my stable ground eventually breaking will drive me insane. I simply cannot progress past this, and it's inevitable for me to be stuck in this hole and I can't live with that anymore.


The only thing that has given me any kind of pleasure in my pathetic life these last couple of years is posting pictures of cute girls on a Japanese Anime image board.

And I regret none of it.

Fuck you, fuck your bullshit intimacy issues, fuck your miserable shitty outlook on life and fuck you for ruining my night.

Not even two fucking months weve been dating and you've so quickly turned into the biggest fucking drain on my happiness ive ever witnessed.

Honestly the only reason i let this shit go on was because you got sick and i thought "well id be pretty pissy if i was in and out of hospital" but nah that shits over and you still manage to be a complete fucking wang.

I just wanted to hang out with all my friends because it had been a while and you fucking soured the whole thing, I should never have invited you and I will not be seeing you any more. Fuck.

>>17951370
Yeah, I think you should try being a bit more honest with your friends. I don't know them, of course, but I think it couldn't hurt. Don't unload all your frustrations on them, but maybe you can talk with them about life a little.

Really can't stop thinking about you tonight and it sucks. You pushed me away because you needed space and now I'm afraid I've pushed you even further away. I wish I knew if I still had a chance or not. You shutting me completely out so quickly is so shitty.

>>17951386
Well, you just made me laugh. Thanks for that.

I don't have a clue how I could help you, but try to find yourself some (professional) help. There's somebody out there who can help you. You don't need to feel the way you are. Good luck.

>>17951406
So what happened?

>>17951352
To my dying day, if this grief is the price I have to pay to have had someone so wonderful in my life then I'd do it all again without hesitation. I just wish I'd had longer.

I will survive it because I owe it to the person who I loved, and who loved me too.

Thanks for your response. I wish you all the best going forward, anon. I hope your pain is lessened in the coming year.

boyfriend, I'm going to be very lonely when you move away to california in a couple weeks. I know you'll be happy doing what you love. You've already made it big in the magazines. I know you'll continue to do great things in california. I'm very proud of you, but can't help feeling a pang of jealousy inside of myself when you're doing what you love. I wish I didn't feel this way, but I do. Besides you, my life is miserable. I have no friends outside of you that I hang out with. All of your friends are famous. It makes me so jealous. I'm stuck in the midwest going to college waiting for the day when I can graduate and pursue what I want in life. My life is so boring. I wish i was cool like you. I wish i had friends.

Dad, I wish you would stop drinking. It's really hurting me and my kid brother. We hate when you get angry and yell at at us. We hate when you put us down. I hate when you don't ask me how my day at college went. Mom always tells you to stop drinking, but you never do. You just find a new place to hide it. This is the sixth time in the last three months that we've told you to stop drinking. Please stop. I feel like you drinking is my fault. I'm sorry I have depression and i'm sorry that I puts stress on the family. Now you're causing me to drink too dad. I found your liquor. I drink a lot now dad. I'm just trying to numb my world just like you. Are you happy dad? I just want you to get better.

>>17951386
Life makes no sense everyone will die. Or not if someone will invent something so people can live forever. Living hurts much more than not living. I always want to kill myself but in the end I think, there is nothing more after dying and it makes no sense to die. If you think there is some shit like heaven, hell or something -youre wrong. It's bullshit and noone cares or knows. You will disappear and it wont make any more sense. Wellcome to adv/GIOCN. Feel free to post your shit and we will listen. Don't kill yourself. If you kill yourself I will feel like i have just say something bad. And you will do bad thing to me.

>>17951473
You need to gather the entire family and do an entervention. I know it's sounds dumb but my father was a drinker too. We confronted him about his problems and how much he hurts us by ruining himself like that. Remember to give him love too so he won't feel hated.

>>17951269
I don't wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your lover

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It feels odd to have him agree with me after about so many years.

After going through years of nonsense and abuse from people, I simply told him, after beers one time, some people are beyond saving. There was and still is no hate, no grudge, I simply state it as something I accept as a personal fact. He disagreed, being very religious, and said all people have good in them or are worth saving.

Five years later, a divorce during a cancer battle, life beating him down and he and I agreed last week. Some people simply cannot be saved. It's like a drowning person that scrambles and pulls you down with them. Your good intentions will drown you.

>>17951532
You mean he belived in god, didn't want to have divorce and you were drowning with him in your nonsense relationship but he finally agreed? I don't get it.

>>17951430
I told her how i felt, a more toned down version of course, and she told me she doesnt want us to break up, and that she is aware of her issues and is trying to work on them because she really likes me and doesnt want to lose me.

Now ive grown confused.

>>17951235
Cats are like people but without the drama and you need to clean their poop and give them food.

Dogs are way too hyphy, learn some breathing excersizes to calm your heart rate and breathing because cats pick up on that shit and will avoid you if they notice you're agitated because believe it or not cats don't actually like confrontation.

If you're chill, cats will be chill as fuck but don't overdo it. Cats need a lot of cuddles and attention even though people don't think they do so don't get too many cats because 3 cats would mean 3 hours of cat time not including the general chill time you spend with your cats over the day doing other stuff like watching TV or shit like that.

I feel worthless. I know that's not true. But it seems I need validation from others to justify my existence. And I'm alone. I'm so tired of this.

>>17951492
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

>>17951572
I'm sorry.

>>17951572
It's okay. Everyone wants validation for their existence. The sun will shine again.

I know you think we are good for each other but I think that all we do is dampen each other's best traits.

You're my biggest obstacle in life, I've tried leaving you several times, I've cheated on you and yet you stay.

People have told me that I'm unhappy with some good; but how good can all this be if you make me feel I've got one foot in the grave.

I want nothing more than to be free of you so that my time and money are my own because you are a cry baby leech that does nothing but complain and expect to be overly appreciated for minuscule things.

You're literally killing me. The idea that we almost got married makes me sick.

>>17951572
I don't know you personally, probably never will, but I've been there. It legitimately sucks, though I know I don't have to tell you that. Still, you can make it, and you are worth something. I'm not terribly good at giving help or encouragement, but damn I wish I was. Just remember, that even if you think you aren't, you're good at shit, and you've got the capacity to improve and people often do recognize your worth, even if they don't express it often

>>17951650
leave then wtf ?

>>17951547

Sorry, I'm a bit tired so I just typed that out quickly.

Essentially this person is a close friend, basically a brother, but he and I had different upbringings and beliefs. He had the typical cozy family, well off financially, very religious, no troubles really, so he would always stick his neck out for people that would just hurt him, yet he'd make excuses or believes in the 'good' somewhere inside of them. His marriage fell apart after him trying and trying but his wife turned on him, spread lies, and during his cancer battle decided to leave him. Life beat him down and while he still has faith it seems these rough times changed him.

I grew up abused, poor, had some untrustworthy friends, family, got screwed by people, so I'm naturally a little guarded when it comes to people or I take precautions. I was never religious and still I am not.

He and I would always have debates about religion and then it would turn to my belief that some people are beyond saving. I simply believe that some people are not worth the effort and it will only bring you harm if you continue to assist them. Ever heard of drowning victims accidentally drowning their rescuers or both of them dying? It's like that.

My friend finally agreeing feels odd, but I'm a bit glad. He took too many risks and has stressed himself too much over people that simply weren't worth the hassle. Just give them the tools, instructions and a pat on the back. If they want saving they can do it themselves. You don't have to be callous, but smart. Don't be disappointed in the result.

>>17951639
Why?

>>17951668
And ruin her life? How could I? She will make a point of saying how I took everything from her so she could move with me. Because conflict so much cripples me that I can't even speak my mind to her face. Because then the tears and being up all night. I'm weak, and I'm exhausted.

Who'd have thought a woman's tears would be the thing that kills me?

>>17951628
The infrastructure will collapse
Vol-tage spi-ikes

>>17951690
Throwing keys in the bowl
'Cause your heart's in denial

>>17951655
Thank you for your words, I appreciate them.

>>17951699
I fucked up...

I keep leaving 4chan, but I keep coming back because of the anonymity, and there's so much to say that I can't say to anyone, and journaling helps a lot but it's not always enough.

I'm so worried that I'm going to become an unhappy person. I feel like my essence is happiness, but I've been sad for so long, and I'm at a crossroads now where my life could go tumbling downhill.

There's a light inside of me, I know it, I feel it, and more than anything I want to not let it go out.

There's nothing I can do to get away from this heartbreak. It's ben 6 or 7 months, and I can't stop thinking about it, I can't forget, it still hurts so much, I still cry about it. Not as much as I used to, but it still hurts so much. I still keep wondering why it happened that way, searching for ways to comfort myself, looking at myself, analyzing everything, imagining everything, not understanding anything . . . this is my crisis. Sometimes my chest hurts. Sometimes my whole body starts feeling hot and I feel sick. My life broke. This is my crisis. I'll either be reborn, or I'll be extinguished now.

Will I save myself? Will I be myself? The real me, the reborn me, after years of crying, after 7 months of being broken? Or will everything get worse and worse? Will I lose all the good that I ever had inside of me?

Help me, someone . . . help me . . .

>>17951710
Don't worry anon, Thom doesn't mind mistakes he's just happy that we're not posting Creep

>>17951720
It gets better, I know it sounds impossible but try to take your mind off them. Avoiding things that remind you of them also helps.
But what does a tough breakup have to do with you being a bad person?

>>17951725
Or Pablo Honey in general.

I should have asked out that cute skinny chick at the gym today. I just didn't want to be one of those douchebags and talked myself out of it. But I should have anyway. I'm wasting my life.

>>17951757
Agreed, it's almost inconceivable to me that Pablo Honey and The Bends are only a couple years apart, yet are so very different in quality

>18
>Junior in high school
>Failing math
>Shitty education/environment doesn't make it better
>Afraid im going to fail
Ive sucked at math all my life, im so afraid that I'll be in HS for another 2 years.

>>17950267
Yes it is. Apparently it's a comparative adjective.

>>17951720
I'm sure the good is still there. It's just covered by the pain you've been going through. I wonder why it's taking you so long to move on though. Are you still in contact with them? You have to get rid of anything that reminds you of them.

Your life is not broken, anon. You'll get through this. Everyone goes through something like this. I still feel some pain from my breakup. But it doesn't consume me anymore. Good luck

I do not want to have the mindset that you are still on a throne in my subconscious. The desolate fact is that these thoughts and feelings become worse at night and keep me awake. Hopefully this weekend will be better.

Stay out of my head. I know I am not your girl anymore, and never was. And to be fair, you have hurt me far more than anyone else I have encountered. You are on the same tier as (omitted) who, just like you, abused me emotionally and mentally. I will never trust anyone on such a deep level again. Never make deep connections again. Nowadays I surround myself with people who benefit me that seek nothing in return. I work really fucking hard for what I want and, just like you, I look down on people who bitch and moan about stupid shit I consider petty and miniscule. I have been pushed from a good, caring girl to a heartless bitch who does not care or feel sympathy for others.

I hate this. Get out of my head.

I'm going crazy, WJ.

I woke up this morning feeling like shit for the first time in three weeks. I cried like a baby in the shower because now that I'm back everywhere I walk reminds me of you and how you decided to leave. I'm pissed off with myself because I'm trying to keep moving forward but I keep feeling like I have to take two steps back every step forward I make when I think of you. It just really hurts. I thought of killing myself for the first time this morning since being on meds and it fucking scared me. I couldn't snap myself out of it without a little bit of self-inflicted pain. I wish I wasn't fucked up. I wish I hadn't trusted you when you promised you'd always be here. I wish I hadn't driven you away. I wish a lot of things.

What the fuck do you want from me? Quit being a fucking cunt and open your eyes for once. Have you even tried to understand what I'm gong through? You're a piece of shit and I'm done thinking there could ever be anything. I fucking swear the next time there's an opritunity I'm going to rip your god damn heart out.

I was there for you, sometimes even when I should've taken time to be alone since I'm battling my own demons.

>>17950144
I wish you would just talk to me, I dont want you shitty advice for my depression. Your not going through the same thing as me. I just want to talk. Stop giving me small replies for normal things and paragraphs for my problems that you cant fucking solve. I would do allot of things but I dont and you cant change that.

A month or two ago, my mom passed out after ODing on pills, and even when the thought she might die crossed my mind, I didn't feel much emotion. I'm only 18, but I've grown so apathetic over time that I feel hollow. No subject interests me, video games and other media bore me. People tell you "You're just looking at the wrong stuff!", but they don't get it. The feeling behind that sense of wonder is gone. Oftentimes I catch myself thinking "How are these people so genuinely happy?", and I have to remind myself that sadness isn't the natural state of human beings.

I just wish I could relate to someone. Even the internet makes me feel alone. The problem's still within me here, too. I don't know how to solve it.

>>17952024
You should tell that to the person.

If she is writing paragraphs to help you with your depression she cares and wants to be your friend at least.
So just tell her you want at least a friendship where you talk about your days and you deal with your depression on your own.

>>17952049
Being that deeply sad isn't something everyone goes through, but you're not alone anon. I struggle with it too and you're not alone.

>>17952068
Its hard though, its like super 1 sided. Im the one venting and talking in general but I want my friend to vent to and talk aswell. Im not gonna force but it feels weird when your the one always being vented to irl. Your right. Im being a major bitch about this. Its just hard to deny advice because I dont want to be an asshole. Hes the only thing I got.

>>17952091
It's not deep sadness, I guess, just confusion and apathy. The world as I knew it years ago has changed completely, and now I'm just numbly dragged on for the ride. I'm seeing a therapist soon, so hopefully that'll help, but it's been so long since I was truly happy that I don't even know if I could get that back.

>>17952121
I'd say that's a form of deep sadness. I wish you well anon.

>>17952126
Thanks, good luck to you too.

>>17952130
Thank you, that means a lot to me.

>>17952110
Fuck mayne good luck with that sounds complicated as fuck.

My advice would
>People in 2017
>Ishygidddaggadoggy

>>17952152
fuck

>>17952160
You'll figure it out eventually bud don't let my memery get to you.

>>17952209
No your good, I'm just staring at my wall thinking why life has to be hard.

I feel like my life is going in an overall good direction but I feel so lonely. I hope this changes as I get a career and get deeper in this vocational training, but I know I'll never get a friend from it.

>tfw no gf
>tfw can't get a gf without friends
>tfw can't relate to people to get friends

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>>17951918
Come at me

I like how you tell me you like me, but continue to tell everyone else that you're dating your best friend. I honestly don't understand.

I've done nothing but help you in any way I can, I've done nothing but show you things most people in your life haven't shown or given you. Yet you still do this to me like I'm some kind of sucker.
I feel like a fucking fool for believing you, and a fool for still holding on to whatever game you're playing with me.
If I stop talking/contacting you, you joke about me liking someone else and not liking you anymore, yet you only make an effort when you want something.

Is this what relationships are like? I don't like them.

I wanna get dicked

>>17950144
I still love that bitch even though its been 8 years and i cant forget how sweet and nice and hot of a girl she was ....

Still think about her at least 2 or 3 times a week....

Love my parents love my grandparents......
Wish i did better in school and made more friends and worked harder and better and improved and helped myself..
.
Learned my lesson the hard way over the years..... hopefully its a blessing in disguise everyone will find their way eventually.....
We all need love and understanding and peace and friendship and joy and a job and school and family and career we love....... have to help urself sometimes...... never too late to take the circle and merry go around of relationships and knowledge and work in life......

>>17952238
Just get 3 gfs or friends that u can relate too from the past lol people are all the same with different coatings on it...... confidence and knowledge and security and peace and forgiveness and humility and hardwork is key......

>>17951474
Everyday feels like hell. I'm stuck In a constant state of stress, depression, anxiety and paranoia and it's been this way for about ten years. It's destroying my mental state and I feel like I can't take it much longer. I've tried to do shit on my own about it and progress past it but it feels unbeatable desu

>>17951424
I'm glad I put a smile on your face and I appreciate the kindness. I'd like to get help but I'm so busy with work i feel like its out if my reach. I also hate how mental illness and depression is viewed by people who don't have it with a huge stigma. I'm afraid to ask for days off for help because word will get around my job that im some nut. I recently told some of my closest friends and family how bad my depression has gotten lately and how long I've felt this way and so many of them wrote me off and acted like it was nothing. My dad laughed and told me depression isn't real and my sister told me to stop being a bitch and kill myself already. It's so disconnecting and jarring knowing this is how people might feel if word gets out that I feel sick mentally.

You've made me miserable all this time, I really, really liked you and I wanted us to be happy. I was there for you when you had issues with your family, I was there for you when you were suicidal, I was there for you when you broke up with your girlfriend and in many other times, I tried to be there for you, to support you.

Even when you rejected, I wanted to still be there, because I liked your personality, I liked when we went out. I just wanted to have you around me because I think you're one of the most interesting people I know.

I think its fucked up you can't even write me, there's no effort from you, you do NOTHING, you can't even say hi or call. You say you care but I don't see that and every time I call you out on it, you cry and you know I can't when I hear you like that.

Now after all, we're drifting apart and you can go to live your happy life with your other friends and I'm left alone feeling lost and with no personality of my own.

I hate my job.

I can't take it anymore.
It switches between each instance I've been sexually assaulted. The physical feeling, the emotional feeling. I go back and forth from each event. Sometimes feeling broken from one incident but not feeling for the rest.

Right now I can feel when that boy had his hand down my pants. I was partially passed out and no one did anything to stop it. I can feel his finger against me and I feel so sick.

I feel like the only way I can get over these incidents is if I get into a sexual relationship with someone so I can replace those physical feelings. So instead of feeling what those people did to me, I can feel something else. But how the hell am I gonna find someone who wants to gently support/care for and sleep with a rape victim?

I wish I told my old neighbour that I was interested in him before he left.

I'm a 22 year old virgin and I just feel so alone. Years ago I didn't feel it much but now it's just gotten worse. Even though I'm getting fitter and getting a new job hopefully, nothing has really changed. Everything is the same. I'm not a socially inept retard but at the same time I don't know what to do anymore.

>>17950144

>>17950144

I hate the fact that I can cut a pedophile, abusive, shit cunt parent up and not shed a tear, but when faced with the fact of my wife dying within the next 6-8 weeks I am rendered helpless, practically useless as a protector of the woman I would kill for.

I fucking hate cancer.

>>17951773
Definitely a huge improvement. The Bends is in my favourite top 3 mostly because I listened to it through my adolescent years.

Most beautiful woman in the world <3

>What about my music?
>Well... they are kinda sad. Don't think I can have that kind of sadness in my life. Do you really feel that way?
>I never thought about it. Maybe I am kinda sad. I like sad songs. They make me wanna lie on the floor...

Im too fucking dumb to accomplish my goals

>>17951676
>I grew up abused, poor, had some untrustworthy friends, family, got screwed by people, so I'm naturally a little guarded
Oh pleassseeeee

Me too, buddy. I still believe there is no one on this earth that is too far gone to come back. People can be good in the end, you just need to believe and try yourself.

I think I'm fucked. I keep thinking about and obsessing over this girl that I failed to get with 2 years ago. Even worse is I can't seem to move on and somehow manage to either fuck up any other rare chance with a different girl or just sit alone and frustrated for having done nothing.

And the thing is I can't seem to truly feel alright sometimes. I always seem to be in a state of panic and depression. I'm probably bipolar or messed up.

>>17952418
Try 10 years of longing. It gets better but you will still have some days were you just break down over her.

i used to be so certain that denying myself any caprice of proper intimacy, of dissolving myself into another individual, was the sign of a supposed enlightenment. truth is, after a life spent mastering emotional inertia, a glacial coldness manifested towards anyone that got too close, im beginning to feel like im being swallowed whole by this state of nullity. im very fond of you, but im empty and have nothing to offer other than my body. see, i'd give it in a second, just like i always do, but with you it's different –i fear you'd slice me open and just leave. im not afraid of dying, im afraid of not having a good reason to do so. i cant find it and im sinking. i often fantasise about you doing something horrible to me, something unforgivable even for the kindest of humans –and it still wouldn't be enough. other times im the abuser, but that doesn't work either. i want to kill myself, but im awfully prideful; how could i blow my sole and final performance? how could i possibly half ass it? nothingness is unbearably heavy. on christmas day i was lonely. i'm used to being lonely, but this particular time i was alone as well. i felt filthy, unworthy, running like a mad person as if i had somewhere to be, getting catcalled by homeless men and the occasional taxi driver. i couldn't help but wonder whether you would've been there if i would've asked you to

I read your messages and don't respond because you never loved me or cared for me, and it hurts. Genuinely. Every day I'm told by my parents about "how guys are", and the interpretations of their actions.

So I developed my own opinion. No, I don't "hate" you, I don't think you're a bad person.

Let me give you some perspective.....

If there was a kitten, a cute, adorable kitten that constantly viciously bit you and clawed you each time you reached in to pet it, would you still reach to pet the kitten?

For me the answer is simple: no, and I would rid myself of the kitten because it is too painful to bear. Besides, there are more kittens out there than that one. We just weren't compatible.

Call me when you figure your heart out. Maybe then you'll want a housewife.

>>17952492
Also, don't act like I didn't reach for the kitten for a very long time. Thanks. It's easier to give up at this point, that's all.

Maybe I need some space from you. Need time to grow out of old habits and form new, better ones.

Maybe.

You're all a bunch of pathetic faggots and the world would be a better place if you killed yourselves. Or, at least, if you stopped whining about your shit and did something about it.

>>17952507
Most of us are. It's everyone else.

>>17952507
Don't you have a walmart dumpster to suck a dick behind

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>see cute grill on tinder
>send her a song she'll like based on her Spotify shit
>says she'll check the band out
What do now??

>>17952515
Wait, idiot. God that's so effing obv.

Inb4 if she doesn't msg back she's either busy, not interested, busy, riding an alpha's cocc, busy, not into you. Yw.

>>17952513
>>17952514
I wasn't talking about you fellas, I was just ranting about some people I know. You know, doing the thing that these threads are for. Though, now that I look at my post, it could also be applied to this place as well I suppose.

I have the nerdiest fucking reasons to believe in God.

Seriously. If you're intelligent, if you're a person that believes in the sciences... just think about it a bit. Astrophysics and all dat shit.

>>17952521
The butthurt intensified sorry anon

>>17952523
>just think about it a bit. Astrophysics and all dat shit
Or you could think about it some more, like quantum mechanics and all dat shit, where things literally can and do appear out of nothing and disappear back into nothingness, basically breaking all of our known laws of physics, and you'd realize there's a rational, scientific explanation for everything, it's just that our current technology doesn't let us detect, observe, and measure everything we want to, and thus our theories of time and space are somewhat lacking. But the things we do know pretty much disprove the existence of any higher power.

>inb4tipsfedora

>>17952533
Yes you are fedora. You're in denial

>>17952533
anon, think about it harder dipshit.

Think about it realllllyyyyy hard.

Think about such concepts as fermi paradox but in relation with the singularity. What can a being with self-improving intelligence, at an infinite rate, be able to achieve through technology? Could it track energy (matter) in space time? If it could alter space time, it would be a 5th dimensional being. We are all 4th dimensional beings already, so... we just move through time in a linear fashion. The Nth.

So, anything that can happen WILL happen.

aka

God

>>17952524
Maybe I could've worded it better. It's just that these fucking people drive me nuts, and having to spend hours upon hours each day with them, since they're co-workers and I can't exactly go postal on them, it's making me turn into them. So I come into these threads and say shit here that I should be saying to them, doing the exact thing that I wish they'd stop doing. And that's what pisses me off the most.

>>17952519
Yeah well I didn't know if saying nothing would make me seem disinterested or low energy.

I've been working so hard on myself the past 2 years, I'm so proud I've the person I've become and excited for what this year brings to me. Been single all this time, which hasn't been a total issue but now I've met some pretty astounding women and I just can't pull the way I imagine I could. I have very little practice, but I think my biggest fear is failing and feeling like these past 2 years of hard work have gone to waste. Its silly to me, I get compliments quite frequently, and people are surprised I've been single for so long, and are even more shocked to learn I'm a virgin.

I'm afraid of not having guaranteed results, so I keep working hoping it improves my odds, but I feel like this is also a losing formula, because nothing will ever be guaranteed, risks are a part of life, and I loathe failure, even the smallest ones. I need to get over this fear, it's my new goal, I just don't know where to start. I deserve more but cant make it happen, and it hurts.

God damnit baby you're so fucking adorable.

>>17952544
Your entire idea hinges on the concept of infinity being real and applicable to our universe, which it isn't. The universe isn't infinite in neither size nor time. It has boundaries, it had a beginning, and it will have an end. Infinity is merely a concept. So no, anything that can happen isn't guaranteed to happen, as you'd need a functional infinity for that to be true. And so far, we've discovered exactly zero evidence of there being interference from a higher dimensional being(-s).

Or hell, maybe we're all just living in a simulation and god is the programmer. We can't objectively disprove that, but at least it makes more sense and is more realistic than your version.

Also, to keep this on topic, my friends are all a bunch of fucking idiots and they're too dumb to realize how the Dunning–Kruger effect is fucking them up. And whenever I try to tell them, they just laugh it off. Why do I even bother? Why do I have friends in the first place?

>>17952581
>our universe, which it isn't.
uhhhhhhhhhh

>>17952544
Lay off the weed nigga

>>17952581
Your knowledge of physics is... outdated by nearly 30 years.

Time to hit the ol' bo-- err, internet.

It has taken a mountain of grief mixed with time and reflection, but I realize now that you didn't end your life early; you prolonged it for as long as you could. You had enough troubles in your life to kill 3 or 4 lesser human beings; thank you so much for surviving long enough for me to have known you.

[redacted] you were one of the finest human beings to have ever walked this earth and if I live to see the end of existence I will never stop missing you.

Yes. I swore off relationships because I dislike the number's game. The handful of people out of many you'd be compatible with. Some people, or I guess most people, can win that game. But there will always be people who don't, so they will either just have relationships destined to fail or just not find anyone. I simply gave up and don't have the optimism to entertain the dream of finding that lasting relationship. I just don't look, so I can't be disappointed. It's easier to congratulate everyone else. That's all. I suppose it helps that I'm not acquainted with anyone I could even think of in that way, so I don't have to look for it.

It's days like this that I can admit, yes, I'm lonely. I'm not alone, but I'm lonely. Unfortunately, I don't know what I plan to do in the future. I've never claimed to know. I just don't know.

More than likely that shit ain't even mine,

I want to sleep but there's so much that needs doing today.

You want to know where I would like to go?

Anywhere but here. I am... so done with these people. So so done. All of them. I'm... so ready to leave this family.

so so so so so so so so so so ready...

I like you.

That one time we made weed brownies and you just fucking started tripping fucking BALLS...

Did you take something else? Did you take Shrooms? Acid? Lsd? Thinking about it now... there is no way in fucking hell that was just weed.

please tell me. I love you. I won't judge you.

My boyfriend is very boring.

>>17952835
It was my first time eating weed brownies what's so hard to understand

If i was a girl i'd be such a huge bitch.

>>17952840
Why are you with him?

You're a fucking bitch sometimes ya know? I know he didn't just kiss you and you pushed him off, I doubt he refer to that as "hooking up" like I read in your texts last night while you were passed out on my bed lying in your own piss. You know how hard it is to clean piss out of a memory foam mattress, you can't. I'll be smelling this piss being reminded of you until the new one comes in, somehow it's kind of poetic. Should have known that once a cheater always a cheater, lesson learned universe.

>>17952383
Amnesiac was mine, Pyramid Song still gets me everytime.

I feel like I'm closer to dad than to mom. Thank you for giving me second chance.

I want my name to be forever associated for super hyper mega loving someone. Like, "Wow, he really J's her."

Will I ever get over you?! I see no progress here.

D
I'm falling in love with you.
M

>>17952895
She cheated on you and pissed your bed? Damn.

>>17953144
How long has it been?
It once took me fifteen years to get over someone. But i did it, eventually. I think.

>>17953144
I'm hoping I can get over an ex of mine, too. Especially because he's in a new relationship. I was sure I had, but I was lying to myself.

You're with another man and have two children yet I can't stop thinking about you having *mine*. Truth be told, while we do share a lot in common, I'm really hard-pressed for conversation. Really I just want to fucking stare at you for long periods of time because you're so pretty and smart and everything about the way that you are [save for you not liking chocolate] arouses me. I'm attracted to you and want you to my own.

But you're literally married to someone who owns a fucking business and have two sons. I'm working at a shit-heel job and am saving up to afford a car. I still live at home because I don't have a job in my career field as of yet. Other than potential I have virtually little to offer you--what's worse is that I'm actually in a relationship with another woman.

I know this makes me a piece of shit. But makes it worse is how literally everyone that sees us together notes that you want the exact same thing that I do. From the way you look at me, to the way you act around me to the way we interact. I go and sleep with other women to get my mind off of you only to find out that you come up to my job and actually look around for me.

God. We'd have the prettiest babies.

M
Don't ever speak to me again.
D

>>17952318
Welcome to my world. I love too hard. I was no good for that fucking girl but she gave me her all. I can always drudge up the good times we had and, for me, it outweighed the bad but she felt the opposite. I always feel a drop in the pit of my stomach when I think about her or look her up on social media. It's super queer. I just need to be in another relationship.

Thing is I'm scared that I'll fuck up the next one like I did the first. Fuck fuck fuck.

I'm disappointed that my mother was never a sexually liberated woman with tons of sexual partners.

How the fuck do I initiate sexting with a guy. I just feel awkward starting it

>>17953203
Sexting is awkward. Just go knock on his door.

>>17953153
>>17953182
This is just hillarious lmao

I feel like I've been doomed to be a late bloomer. Ever since I read this stupid fucking book back in a children's library that explained it. I felt like every single thing outlined in it [I can't remember dick about it now] resonated with me. I eventually get the human experience--albeit slower than others. I'm 28 and it feels like I'm finally experiencing what people ages 18-23 go through when they first get a job. Drinking on the job, flirting with anything with a pulse, napping whenever the fuck and blowing off your duties to go get high while on the clock...

Literally everything. Had my first death in my immediate family two-three years ago when most people have that shit hit them way younger. Had sex literally days before I hit 18. Just now dedicating myself to getting into shape before it gets harder down the road. Finally experiencing a fucking D&D game. Fucking around with women that are already in relationships, paying for sex, buying my first car...

Late bloomer. I bet I'll die late, too. That'd be poetic.

>>17953203
Ask him what he's wearing. Then make up something saying that you bet he'd look cute underneath it. Then ask him if he wants to know what you're wearing. Then ask him how he'd take it off you. It'd roll from there.

I need someones approval to feel comfortable with my decisions and always look for someone who will tell me that I'm doing right thing. I use to compare and try to fit myself into some character I like for examlpe from movie or game (Unsupprisingly It sucks and im not really myself.) I often feel like i have no opinion of my own and I only repeat opinions of people the way I will avoid conflicts. I don't feel good about it.

>>17953226
Don't opine if you don't have an opinion.

>>17953231
True, True.
I have many people who are talking to me and Im tired of listening and responding because I don't really give a fuck. If im not interested i just say it or stop pretending im interested watever.

Whenever I think about you I will get either incredibly happy or unbearably sad. Well today I am warm with the memory of you smiling with me and how soft your fingers were when you stroke my cheek with them. One day we will meet again and I will be so sweet to you so you can give me those smiling eyes of yours once again.
Forever is my love for you, sweetheart. Take care.

>>17953215
Huh? Having sex at 18 is not late at all. Bad on you for fucking around with women in relationships though. That's not being a late bloomer, thta's being a shitty person.

>>17953345
Aww :) initials?

>>17953356
P. K.

>>17953367
Are those yours or theirs?

>>17952760
Let's go then.

>>17953386
Mine.

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>>17950144
My mom died of an aneurysm last Tuesday. I'm her oldest daughter and the administrator of her will. I have never been good with money and I don't particularly like thinking about it. Now, I have a house payment to think of and I have to kick her boyfriend out. I also have to pay off her insane credit card debt with the life insurance money that I feel as though I'm entitled to because, fuck, dude I lost my mom and I'd like some time to myself and be able to skip some work... but I can't. I just have to grow up.


All I want to do is lay down in a dark room, cry and hug the stuffed bear she gave me when I was born. I keep having to confront all these mistakes she made and I just want her to be perfect in my mind. I want her to hug me and tell me it's all going to work out like it always does. I guess I just miss my mommy, guys.

Man, do I love having a guaranteed stomachache one week a month!! Fuck you stupid body!

I have a serious thing for my best friend's girlfriend and it's making me feel like a piece of shit.

>>17953456
I'm sorry for your loss.

>>17953456
sorry for your loss.

Amanda...I'm so sorry for what I said last night. I said a horrible thing, and I'm a horrible person for saying it.

Please don't let our friendship end this way. I can't lose you again. I'm not strong enough...

>>17953456
My condulences. That is sad to hear.

>>17953456
I'm truly sorry for your loss.

Nothing good ever happens.

My mom just asked me why I have no gf, implying I'm gay. She already knows I'm bi but it's awkward as fuck to talk about it.
I had to tell her about some girl I asked out who rejected me to prove I like girls. Now I feel humilliated as fuck.
I want to kill my cunt mom.

>>17950144
I need a job but I'm scared.

I want to pursue my dream but I am scared.

I want to be a better man but I am scared.

Somebody take this fear away and allow me to be somebody my dad can be proud of.

Being good is hard. It's so easy to just be bad, to get cheap happiness at the sake of others...

But the feeling of doing what others couldn't, of succeeding where others have failed? To feel accomplished and of worth?

Feels so much better and lasts so much longer.

>>17953598
fuck your dad, the only person who's opinion of yourself matters is you

you keep asking me when are we going to the movies and when we finally decide on a date you bail out last second because you "just changed to house clothes". wtf??? you knew we were going today, but if you really think that next you time you come up with this idea again, i'll go right away to make time for that you're dead wrong.

>>17953602
You seem to think my dad is the cold, distanced asshole who has his children fight for his approval.

He's not. He's a fucking hero to his family, and I want to to repay him the good he's done in some measure. I don't want him to feel his efforts to raise a good man have been for naught.

You know... when you are me, when you are someone that does stand out there are going to be those that so badly want that spotlight. They so badly want what I have, what I have achieved and will hate me for it. They will pick anything, just as long as it's something to hate.

You know how I feel about the spotlight, how it's something I want and hate at the same time. For all those haters there are many many many more lovers. It's just that the haters are so much louder, so much more vicious and persistent. I don't think I'm awesome, I don't think that at all. I feel like I let people down all the time and it kills me from inside.

It's hard to not let them get at me. When they were just coming at me directly it was better... but now they are doing it from the sides. Still, they are failing. Failing so very hard which makes them hate me more. I do not get pleasure out of that, I don't. I wish they could just love and figure out themselves rather than hurting others.

I'll let them come at me but they will always miss. Even if they hit, I will be ok. I've been doing this for a long time afterall... if I got knocked out every time a hater hit me then, well, I wouldn't be me then would I?

<3 <3 <3
(This is a real snafu, isn't it?)

>>17953598
Come on, anon. I know those things are scary. Of course you feel fear. But you have to do them anyway. You just have to push through, okay? If your dad raised you so well I bet you will do just fine. Good luck!

I still have a crush on this boy I almost went out with after high school. I couldn't bring myself to contact him because of how severe my depression became. I thought to myself, "Maybe if I get a bit happier I can contact him.", but it never happened. It never happened because I was pressured into going to college, into a subject I didn't enjoy, couldn't focus or memorize, which made my mental state worse. Then on top of all of that I was being stalked by some old man. Some other things happened and finally when that was over I really started to go insane.
Then I ended up in a hospital and a boy raped me. I gave up on everything. I was constantly put into and abused in mental wards. I couldn't be around anyone but other mental patients and 4 close friends that I only saw individually and rarely since they didn't live in the same city anymore. I still haven't recovered. It's been about 5 years and I'm pining over a boy who probably doesn't remember me. I'm not even cute anymore.

I took a risk and I think it went well. You know you can talk to me now, I just hope you choose to.

Ok, does this make me awful or what?

I think it's fucking hilarious to super berate, belittle, and harass my cat with words. I'll call her a fat fucker, chubby fucking princess, lazy cunt, literally retarded, the dumbest motherfucker ever, and I wish she would just get a fucking job.

The look she gives me of... just nothing kills me. That blank stare of "Ok I see that you're talking to me but I don't speak english other than the word "Food"."

She then runs to me and I scrach the fuck out of her head and belly.

Why is this so fucking funny to me?

I won't contact you to be friends. Realizing I still hold feelings for you, that I thought I had gotten rid of, means I can't. Congrats for all your good fortune, though. I'm glad you're happy and in a serious relationship, I'm glad you've settled down. You matured, I'm sorry for once thinking you wouldn't change. Next it's my turn to grow up

I will never settle for an ugly chick or a fat one.
I know that I'm capable of getting hot girls interested in me, I just need to figure out how I can turn them into my gf.

>>17953568
How did she find out that your bi?

>>17953704
You need to be more than just physically attractive. Without charisma, cash, charm, humour and taming your hubris, chicks will treat you like the egotistical fuckboy you are.

>>17953806

This

>>17953806
I was all "Ah shit, I ain't go no cash..."

Then I was all "Pff, my shit is cash."

YEEAAAAAHHHHHHH

>>17953849
Kek, you wish buddy.

>>17953851
: 3

I think I am a terrible, unlikable and untalented person. I believe that I deserve everything bad that ever happens to me.
When random people compliment me, I think they just pity me. I just say thanks to be polite, but I don't believe it. I feel like any compliments I'm given are just participation awards for being alive.

>>17953568
>I want to kill my cunt mom.
Totally not overreacting or anything.
You cunt. You take after your mother.

You look different every time I see you. Sometimes I don't even know it's you for a while. What's up with that?

>>17953877
What kind of compliments? I really doubt they're saying it out of pity

yo lads

how often should i buy a pizza

>>17953906
>wow anon you're so talented
>anon, you can do anything you want! You're going to be so successful!
>anon, you'll get married one day
Not all at once, just stuff I might occasionally receive

>>17953957
I can't speak for everyone since my compliments are usually sincere. But if they say things like that out of nowhere I doubt it's pity. It might be if you're acting super insecure about those things in particular and they say it in response to that. Otherwise I'd take the compliments. Some might be fake but if you get complimented so often you're probably not doing that bad

I want to eat out or do stuff but I have no friends to do that with. Bums me out.

I love you, I do. I love your art, I love you.

I don't know what's going on.

it's so very weird.

I miss you :(

People try to hurt me, it's true. Like I said, I do get hit every now and then. I can't dodge them all but no matter what they try to make me think, no matter what I ruminate in my mind or outloud I do it because I just want to talk to you. I just want to tell you that it's all ok. No matter what. You know my views. You know that I can also change my views based on new information. That when given convincing argument, or information... I'm ok with accepting I was wrong. I'm ok with it because I hate being wrong. If I kept my views based on any new information... I want to be right.

This is me baby. I'm nothing but heart. I love every part of you. You know every part of me. You own every part of me. I'm a good man, I know I am. I don't have to prove my manliness, my manhood because I don't question it. Where does that put them, then?

People called me names my entire life and... where are they? What have they achieved? Jealousy and hate. Haters gonna hate.

<3 <3 <3 <3
Don't let them hurt you or keep you down, please. You know my accounts are hacked, my skypes don't work and shit's all kinds of fucked. My family prevents me from knowing too much and I don't know why. So please, come here and just talk to me in person. Find a way. If you're being blackmailed or threatened... call the cops as an escort. I'll leave with ya.

Remember, the only messages you will ever see of mine are "I love you, I trust you, I miss you, I want to be with you."
JAW

My masters thesis is killing me

>>17954230
Fight!

>>17954230
I feel you!!

>>17954230
Imagine what it's doing to me. That test is just rough.

>"I bought something expensive and regretted it immediately"
>What did you buy?
>"A Nintendo Switch"
>Oh, why don't you cancel your preorder then?
>"I don't really want to and it would be an inconvenience"
>Okay... Why not sell your Wii U? You haven't touched it since the day you bought it, right?
>"I don't really want to and it would be an inconvenience"
Well fucking stop complaining then.

>>17950180
End your life

>>17954279
I don't think he'll understand, you need to tell him to end his "el eye eff why".

>>17954288
i.e. lify because i'm a fucking dumbass

>>17953704
Lawlz. But can you get a decent human being interested in you?

I want a Christian to debate

>>17954351
You'll lose fyi...

God is all. That's all they have to say. Even then, they can easily use science to prove it. Tyon talked about how aliens would be so advanced that... they would have no reason to even consider us an intelligent race. No more than an ant understanding a human's mind.

The singularity is a point in time in which future technological growth is so advanced that it can no longer accurately be predicted.

So, there you go. Humans couldn't even begin to comprehend the intentions of a god like being, or just God. Fermi paradox, 5th dimension, infinitely expanding universe and more fucked up shit would all pretty much say "anything that can happen will happen." So it's a guarantee and trying to use human logic to understanding his meaning is just fucking illogical, impossible.

tik
tok

lilttle butt face.

>>17954351
Why? Go debate muslims

My friends GF's party is tomorrow night and I don't really want to go (I don't know anyone going but I initially said I'd go). I always knock back parties so I feel extra bad. How can I say I'm not going?

"How"
You act all innocent and nice but you're actually a snake in the grass. Would it kill you to be straight forward with me than just trying to go around shit just to be nice. I wont cry if you reject me. You mess with my head constantly, making me believe i have a chance. You use me only when you need help with school work. I'm an idiot for not realizing this sooner. Fuck you cunt.

>>17954344
I can, but that's the thing, I find them too boring for my taste.

I'm infatuated with my childhood friend whos a complete trainwreck and not even that attractive but my brain and body keep trying to convince me I'm in love with her and I'm not and I want it to fucking stop

You are a stupid, troublesome and completely dumb woman S and I'm here because of my conscience. That's it.

Also I am like this close to trying to fuck your brains out

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>>17950144
I am a lonely person for frustrating reasons

I want to be in a relationship, whether serious or casual. The 3 or 4 people that I've found that I want to pursue (i guess im picky) either quickly ended up in an LTR or are not interested in relationships altogether.

Found a girlfiend at 17, broke up with her at 19 because I wasn't attracted to her or in love with her anymore. Now 20, it's been a year without sex not for lack of opportunity. I have had ~3/4 direct opportunities to sleep with women that I thought I was attracted to in the last year without really trying. Every time I have been unable to stay hard long enough to initiate sex even w/ them offering a blowjob.

This has probably been in part due to my depression over the past year. If the cause is nerves then it's completely subconscious and strange because I fucked my ex 2 years straight no problem.

I've started to think that it might be from watching porn but I only jack off ~2 times a week, sometimes less. I guess I just have a low sex drive overall.

Someone please respond / give me some advice, im sick of this problem. I don't care about sex in and of itself all that much, rather I wish I had it as a way to further intimately connect with people and wish I didn't feel like there was something wrong with myself.

Thanks.

I unironically enjoy the Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise, even the new movies.

>>17954456
ain't nothin wrong with that.

I like the transformers movies. Well, 1, 2, 3... 4 though was just one step too far in the "Shit not making sense this is not longer so stupid it's dumb omg why am I watching this" good way.

I'm a really timid person, so my hospital practicum isn't going well. My preceptors always pick up on my lack of confidence and I have a hard time getting my competencies signed off as a result.
My friends, family and classmates keep trying to encourage me, but I feel like they spend so much time believing in me that they haven't actually thought about whether or not I can do it.
I don't know what I'm going to do when I let them all down...

I feel like that as friends, we aren't really compatible anymore. I keep telling myself "your disinterest is probably because you've turned into a social retard", but then you're always hanging out with your other friends, right? We don't really talk too much anymore and when I do try to talk to you (you never, EVER try to initiate a conversation yourself), it's like I can tell you don't want to talk to me. I understand people can be turned off if their friend is blabbering on and on about themselves and their own topics and not asking about the other person(s) in the conversation, but even if I keep asking about you, you never open up on your own accord. I'll bring up something related to our mutual interests and that never seems to go anywhere. It's like you're blocking me out. But when I try and pry more information out of you I feel like I'm being annoying, but it's fucking impossible to talk about anything when you give a very wide generalized answer.
>What have you been up to lately?
>"Oh uh I've been busy with college"
>What sort of things have you been doing in college?
>"Projects and stuff, you know"
Oookay
>Been up to anything fun outside of college?
>"I've been playing (video game). Well I gotta go hang out with my friends now, see you"
It feels like every damn time I start talking to you, it's right before you go to hang out with your friends.

I've been told that if someone is being unresponsive that it's fine to talk about yourself, but when I do that, nothing happens. Then I feel bad for potentially scaring them off for being overwhelming. But then when I go back and look, I don't actually say too much.

I just don't really know what to think. If I bring any of this up I'm sure they'll overreact and generally be difficult.

What do you do when no one ever initiate things?

When it's always you trying to get together with people and no one ever fucking gets on board with anything. Other people hardly ever start conversations or suggest things to do and it just makes me wonder if it's ever worth it.

I don't really come here anymore, but I suppose today is -- or would be -- a special day for us. It'd be 5 years we'd have been together.
Five years is a long time. Remember that documentary you showed me once? It's virtually impossible to plan 5 years ahead?
Yeah, we never thought we wouldn't be together anymore, right?
Anyway. Happy five years! Even if we're not physically or emotionally together, you'll always be a part of me. You still and always will have a special place in my heart.
I think it's worth mentioning I hold no resentment or any ill feelings. You're happy (I think!) and that's all that truly matters.

With everlasting love,

Me

>>17954438

I'm pretty positive you're not talking about me, but I wish you were.

>>17954536
>I'm pretty positive you're not talking about me, but I wish you were.
>You are a stupid, troublesome and completely dumb woman

>>17954569
>>You are a stupid, troublesome and completely dumb woman

I feel bad because I screwed up.
But yeah that's pretty harsh. I guess I'm just beating myself up to allow the possibility that they think that about me. But I really shouldn't.

"Friendship" is nothing but a euphemism for "shallow opportunism".

I walked into a class late on Wednesday. All the seats were full so I struggled to find a seat, as I moved to the back.

Some girl was nice enough to move her coat so that I could sit next to her. For some reason, she had her backpack and coat on her side seats that no one would sit right next to her. That's weird for a lecture theatre seating in a full class

So I sat next to her, and said thank you as I sat down.

I felt her keep glancing my way. she would look at my laptop, and she would keep looking at my face. For some reason I thought she was interested because of that.

After class, I decided to say hi to her. I said hi, but she either didn't hear it or ignored. I said "nice to meet you" louder and thanked her for moving her coat so that I could sit. She seemed nervous and fluttery, I couldn't tell if it was because she's interested or creeped out. I asked her name and if she has another class afterwards, which she does.

For some reason, she asked me to leave first when she saw I was all dressed up and ready to leave. So I did leave early, and I didn't look back so I don't know if she had other friends in class or just got creeped out.

I regretted not getting her number. The next class I couldn't find her at all. I don't know if people simply skipped because it's Friday, the class seemed emptier than before. I did see her swapping some classes during class, but couldn't tell if it was our class.

What did I do wrong? Did I seem creepy at all? I was only looking to thank her for her kindness, and slightly flirting

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I'm just going to get this off my chest. I can't take it anymore.

About 3 nights ago I dreamt I was making out with Ian Carter, the mean YouTuber dude. It felt so good, that when I woke up the feeling stayed. It made me very curious of how it would feel to fuck him. Jesus, am I a downy for feeling this way? I don't know what kind of girls he likes, or does he even like girls. One thing's for sure though, he wouldn't like me because I'm Asian. And what makes me think he would even notice me? Jesus fucking Christ. That dream fucked me up. (Pic of kida kinda looks like me, I'm Asian Pacific islander)

Crows are sooo adorable!! I want to move to a place where they have them! Soo cutee

Your such a stupid little furry fuck aren't you? You like having your ears pulled back? Yeah your going to die before me you little whore. I just want to squeeze you to deathhhh

I don't know how to feel.

I'm terrified about the idea of giving birth.
I think that there is a huge chance of me dying from it; especially because one time my vitals became low from sheer depression.

But my family wants me to have children and I'm not sure if I'd be able to find a husband who doesn't want kids. Not to mention I think I'd be a terrible mother. I'm really not mentally stable.

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>>17954536

>I went from "..pretty positive you're not..."
>to "Oh shit I think he's talking about me."

I want to lose weight but I'm addicted to chocolate because I use it to feel happier/calm down on top of my meds.

I'm sorry mom.